Friday, November 29, 2024
Whom Gods Destroy...
h/t Tam
| Bud Light: "Watch us torpedo our brand, lose a billion dollars, and drive ourselves out of business." Jaguar: "Hold my beer, and start your engines..." |
"...if the purpose of advertising is to get people talking about you, the new ad campaign has succeeded at that." - Tam
Someone has perhaps conflated "talking about" with "pointing and laughing derisively and uproariously at".
♫ One of these things is not like the other one. ♫
And when last we looked, as a general rule, the purpose of advertising isn't "to get people talking about you", it's to get people to buy your product. We haven't read a marketing textbook in 40 years, so we may be wrong about that, but we doubt it.
So unless androgynous and transgendered freaks is an emerging market for high-end car manufacturing, this ad campaign is going to go over about as well as Bud Light hiring Dylan Mulvaney as a spokes-tranny did.
Jaguar's ad campaign is selling something.
But that Something isn't anything to do with selling their cars.
At least now we know the real reason Ellen Degeneres left the U.S. was to oversee all advertising for Jaguar. Someone needs to sack her, and then sack the person who hired her.
It bears mention, from a medical standpoint, that the people who make such desperate cries for attention as what Jaguar just did are generally the same psychotic chicks cutting their wrists with razor blades.
Put Daniel Craig (or hell, even Ryan Reynolds) in a tux, stand him next to a silver F-type R-75, have him deliver a few lines, and then have him drive off, with that bundle of neon oddities chained to the rear bumper as he Tokyo drifts the entire gaggle over a cliff, and Jaguar's woketarded misstep is history.
Do it not, and their brand is history. And this ad campaign can be seen for what it is: Jaguar drunk dialing their ex, with a box cutter in hand, and a bottle of sleeping pills, demanding he come back, or else.
Thursday, November 28, 2024
Happy Thanksgiving
The West Wing, both fairly and unfairly, took a lot of crap as The Left Wing, but despite the libtard leanings of its actors and production staff more off-camera than on, it mostly wasn't that. It was mainly, and most belovedly, a yearning for America and the White House staff at the best we wish they were, and want them to be.
For the first four seasons, under the helm of creator and chief screenwriter Aaron Sorkin, one of the most brilliant wordsmiths of all time where any script is concerned, it was mostly an attempt to cobble together, using cinematic immunity, a far better representation of those in government they wished they had than the Democrats could ever get from such real-life execrable human mediocrities foisted on the republic as Jimmy Peanut, Fat Bill, Obozo, and Dopey Gropey Joe, or any of their lesser minions.
And for those moments, I think he ought to be forgiven for the lesser jabs and earnest fantasies, and given the accolades due for the moments when entertainment was made to serve a greater truth.
You have our warmest best wishes on this holiday, and we only hope you can use it to celebrate the best this country is and can be, and to give thanks to whatever power or deity you recognize to maintain and sustain it in its better state, rather than its worst moments. Take a moment to remember and help those less fortunate, and to consider those who must needs be far from home and family on this holiday weekend because of work and duty.
We have much yet to do, but much more for which to be truly thankful today.
May God bless and keep you and yours today, and all days.
Wednesday, November 27, 2024
NTTAWWT
| That Boone's Farm & Everclear sneaks up on you like that. |
One YouTuber said she sounded "Drunk and Crazy".
Our rejoinder to that is "How is that any different from how she's sounded for the last ten years?!?"
I hope someone sends her a box of kittens for Christmas, to complete her retirement kit, so she has something with which to share the rest of her vacuous and besotted existence.
Her second-best offer is to join Shrillary when ABC offers the two of them the next two chairs on the coven over at ABC's The Spew.
Tuesday, November 26, 2024
Monday, November 25, 2024
FIFY
h/t Wilder
Refer to the original meme in case you're unclear.
Every vote helped Trump win, but trying to claim victory for the 5th-lowest scoring demographic, whose contribution was negligible, and without which Trump would still have received >51% of the votes, is simply beyond the pale, and borderline retarded.
It almost rates the Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award, but we'll be generous, and assume some amount of alcohol played a part in Elijah's calculations the day after Election Day.
One can but hope that Elijah's day job is not one where calculation plays a major part.
Baby Duck And Cover
Given: Nuclear war would be a bad thing.
And please believe me when I tell you that every possible nuclear war scenario has been wargamed out 20,000 times, and continues to be, multiple times annually, in multiple countries, particularly the nine (so far) acknowledged to have functional nuclear arsenals. And we usually assign our brightest strategists to play the OPFOR's side, just to keep everyone honest.
And what is the result, in every one of 20,000 scenarios?
It's that if one nuke flies, from anywhere, to anywhere, ALL of them fly, worldwide, times every country that has them, generally within about 72 hours of Event Zero. Every. Single. Time.
Go back and read that again in case you missed it. I have no need to bullshit anyone on this; it's findable in a hundred open-source articles. You could look it up.
So knowing that, you have three things to occupy your time.
1) You either have access, within minutes (measured in single digits) to a fallout and/or blast-proof nuclear shelter, with the necessaries to ride out the actual apocalypse. Or, you don't. Either way, you have nothing to worry about. For different reasons, in each event.
2) If you feel the need to Chicken Little anywhere on the internet, to any degree, about decisions around the world which would unleash a nuclear weapon, over which you have less than zero control (and I'm not naming any names or pointing any fingers here), your posts and bloviations generally aren't going to age well. Because
3) Either nothing is going to happen. (And for but one example, if you're Rootin' For Putin, his life expectancy if he reaches for the nuclear option can be measured in the draw time for any one of a dozen Makarovs pointed at his head from phone booth range. Which is why he's rattled that saber 57 times in the last three years, with zero intent to ever do anything, because he reads the same wargame studies from his guys.) Or pretty much all life north of the equator will be snuffed in a very short period. And you're back to Point 1, above.
Either way, nothing you could say or do on the topic is likely to make any difference for you, or anyone you'd reach, unless they live in Australia, or had 8-figure disposable incomes to establish a zombie apocalypse warlord base of operations - and did exactly that YEARS ago.
Neither you nor anyone reading your stuff is on the Nuclear Football phone tree, and our first clue about things will likely be when the weekend football feed goes all snowy with zero warning, followed by an annoying tone coming out of the tube.
If they even bother. It will be even less useful than anything else FEMA has ever done, which is saying something. Learn that now, and wrap your head around it ahead of time. If you're not 20 feet from a long-term shelter you control, you may as well just bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.
Sorry to piss on your apocalypse party, but there it is. Some of us went through this before you were born, for decades on end, and figured all this out before you got out of plastic pull-ups.
See if you can guess why we're less than impressed with it the second time around.
If anyone really cares, there are great books on the whole topic, most of them free online as pdfs, and so old most of the authors have already long since died. (That right there should serve as a hint about how timely this information is.)
So at the end of the day, all you're accomplishing, by running to and fro on the topic, is advertising your Baby Duck status to all and sundry, because you just started noticing a subject that was old news by about 1960. (For Common Core grads, that would be 64 years ago.) That's not a good look, nor a great resume-builder.
And unless you own one of those old Atlas or Titan missile silos (in which case, why bring the topic up at all?? You don't need more drop-in guests come the day...), and have converted it into a plush nuclear war retreat long before now, all you're doing is killing electrons and wasting bandwidth, and you're not going to be one of the 1%-of-the-population surviving nuclear mutants who comes out of the other end of that pipeline, should the unthinkable happen, to a statistically inarguable 99% certainty.
So stop flapping your wings, squawking, and shitting everywhere.
It's kind of embarassing.
For you.
So maybe less clickbait, and more utility, over something that actually matters.
Group Physiology 101
Coming weeks will determine whether the entire Democommunist Party and its adherents are simply a societal emetic, or instead an actual civilizational laxative.
Either way, the purging is going to be a sight to behold.
Stock up on beverages and popcorn.
The only thing to remember about 2028 is that it's coming, and there's nothing you can do about that. Plan ahead now, so you've little to worry about come the day.
Sunday, November 24, 2024
Sunday Music: I'm Not In Love
Groundbreaking wall-of-voices sound made by looping several feet of tape with band members singing one note per track, which were then faded alternately to create the chords of the song. It sounded so ethereal and innovative for the time that it propelled this single to the Top Ten worldwide, #1 in the UK, and #2 in the US, and put 10cc on the musical map, getting them a major recording contract on the strength of this one song. Debuting in 1975, it's lasted long enough to be heard most recently on the soundtrack of Guardians Of The Galaxy, forty years later.
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
Who Run Bartertown?
h/t Divemedic
No one who matters gives a f**k about these rent-a-shill c*nts and their command hallucinatory allegations.
The president-elect appointed someone? Unless you have video proof of them with a dead girl or a live boy, no one else should GAF either. It's background noise, and we aren't playing by their rules any more.
Ultimately, if his picks aren't confirmed, Trump should fire everyone he can at that agency/department, step in himself, and send everyone else there home on unpaid leave until his choices are confirmed. Let it grind to a screeching halt.
We can get to less government by January 21st, 2025 that way, and the screams would penetrate 30' of reinforced concrete in 0.2 seconds.
On January 22nd, if they still don't get it, he should start closing every federal office and building in every Democrat's district and state, including the Post Office. If that means moving entire military commands out to other bases/states, so be it. Call it a deployment readiness exercise.
By Day Three, all his picks would be confirmed, 100-0.
You play ball with the Donald, or you get the bat shoved up your @$$. With barbed wire embedded in the business end.
He should have taught them that lesson by Day Two of his first term, but it's never too late to readjust their perspective on "Who run Bartertown?"
This kind of realpolitik isn't pretty. It's f***ing beautiful.
Personally, I'd start with Adam Schiff-head, and start pulling the military out of their CA bases at 0001 hours on January 22nd next year, until further notice, and put every government contract hereabouts on indefinite hold. Including redeploying the entire Coast Guard currently in the state, and all air traffic controllers, out of the state entirely. The Navy would be told to anchor in international waters, and every other swinging Richard would be removed from the state NLT midnight, same day.
Schiff-head would find out where his bread was buttered before the morning paper hit his doorstep the next morning, and that would be the end of that, at warp speed.
Grab the Senate by the pussy.
And take notes on who started this crap, and pay them back every single day, until they cry and beg for mercy. Then kick them while they're down. In the crotch.
Remember this scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark?:
Marion Ravenwood:"I can be reasonable!"
Major Toht, waving a red hot poker "That time is passed."
Ravenwood: "Wait! I'll tell you everything!"
Toht, basking in the glow of that poker "Yes. I know you will."
That needs to be every single day of the coming administration, until their biggest fear is drawing Trump's attention, let alone his ire.
Elections have consequences. Losing this one means the party out of power gets to suck it, hard, every single day, until they learn to suck less. If that's even possible.
"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot have both."
- Nicolo Machiavelli, The Prince
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