Just beating Wilder to the punch. |
Saturday, November 2, 2024
Tuesday, September 10, 2024
R.I.P James Earl Jones
Just one part of an enormous acting legacy of a once-poor, stuttering boy from Jim Crow Mississippi, later a Ranger-tabbed Army veteran, who became one of the most celebrated voices and actors of any generation. He never took himself too seriously, but always gave his best performance, on stage and screen for 65 years, from Broadway to Dr. Strangelove to Star Wars to The Lion King to The Big Bang Theory, and everything in between.
Aged 93 years, of natural causes, at his home in the Hudson Valley north of NYFC. A truly gentle and incomparable man.
Thursday, August 15, 2024
X Gets The Square: R.I.P. Peter Marshall
I lost track of how many sick days from school his show was the only highlight of a day where the rest of daytime TV was filled with nothing on but horrendous soap opera melodramas or asinine "reality" freak shows, which meant turning the tube off, and actually doing my homework.
Friday, July 19, 2024
RIP Bob Newhart
Thursday, June 20, 2024
R.I.P. Donald Sutherland
Aged 88, in Miami, after a long illness, and a 60-year career in motion pictures, notably in roles in The Dirty Dozen, Kelly's Heroes, M*A*S*H*, The Eagle Has Landed, Animal House, Ordinary People (as virtually the only cast member in that movie stupidly not nominated for an Oscar), Backdraft, and Space Cowboys, just among the DVDs sitting on the nearby shelves.
Besides working constantly, in his acting career he racked up an Emmy, two Gloden Globes, and an honorary Oscar in 2017 to correct a 50-year oversight by the Academy.
Baby Brother, one of Big Green's tank commanders during the Cold War, could do this bit of dialogue of one of our favorite scenes of Sutherland calling from Chez Leon from memory. It's how we'll always remember Sutherland, fondly.
"You don't want in this thing, you don't get in this thing. I cut you out of everything; I don't need you. 60 feet of bridge I can pick up almost anywhere. Schmuck!"Wednesday, November 8, 2023
Pre-Occupied...
Sorry. Other than some fall cleaning, got busy binge-watching the first season of Tulsa King. Haven't watched network schlock since...pretty much this entire millenium, especially not when I worked in it. Looked at Yellowstain er, Yellowstone the first season, but as I noted at the time, it's a really crappy Wyoming tin-earred echo of The Godfather, except done far, far worse than Coppola on a mac-and-cheese budget, despite Kevin Costner trying to carry the entire series on his back. Which multiple seasons of continued production just proves that the average cable Nielsen viewer will give a thumbs-up to watching turds circle in a porcelain bowl, just for being slightly less turdly than everything else on TV, broadcast, cable, streaming, or whatever
Tulsa King, by contrast, is a completely fresh idea, and Taylor Sheridan (unlike that earlier effort) seems to have hit his stride with a new concept, rapidly becoming the Joss Wheedon of the 2020s. For a bonus, as extra features noted, and unlike Justified, they didn't keep trying to sell you northern L.A. county as Kentucky (which as Austin Powers noted, look as alike as Malibu and the South of France), they actually shoot this thing in Tulsa OK. Bad for employees in The Biz, but great for production value and OK locals.
Without looking at the credits, spotting the always lovely Dana Delaney (whose voice is still music), and an aging Barry Corbin, in recurring roles was a special treat.
I don't do streaming, preferring to watch what I want on my terms, forever, and actually own it beyond their freshness date of expiration (Disn-idiots at ABC producing The Rookie who refuse to put that series out on DVD/BD, call your office). So (spoiler alert) the cliffhanger ending was a little bit of a piss-off. But so it goes. We can settle for seeing an entire season at a time when it's this fun to watch.
If you haven't given this one a look, it's highly recommended.
Fun fact: Stallone was passed over as 29th Italian extra behind the wedding cake in The Godfather, and every studio in town passed on his script for Rocky, twice. Proving the timeless truth of William Goldman's maxim about Hollywood: "Nobody in this town knows nothin'." 50 years later, someone occasionally catches a clue.
Haven't seen anything more interesting IRL lately to make any given day not a new version of SSDD.
Tuesday, September 19, 2023
Halloween Treat: A Haunting In Venice
Kenneth Branagh's first outing as Agatha Christie's brilliant sleuth Hercule Poirot was in Murder On The Orient Express in 2017, but was hopelessly overshadowed by the original 1974 film by Sidney Lumet, which was the last movie made of her works to gain Christie's full personal approval. Albert Finney was nominated for Best Actor for his portrayal, Ingrid Bergman won an Oscar for it, and the flick is a cinematic classic.
Branagh followed that up by remaking Death On The Nile for a COVID-delayed 2022 release, this time comparing unfavorably with Peter Ustinov in a career tentpole role in the 1978 film, playing Poirot flawlessly in the first of six movies, three onscreen, and three for TV. Even Branagh couldn't compete with Peter Ustinov, David Niven, and Lois Chiles getting her head blown off half a dozen times in different flashbacks, and he probably shouldn't have tried.
This time, Branagh selected Christie's Hallowe'en Party as the novel to loosely base this film on in his third outing as Poirot, a book which no one else has adapted for the screen before. It was an excellent choice, and he has finally hit his stride.
If you're a fan of old Hollywood, and want to see a solid whodunit, perfectly selected for a Halloween season release, with a solid cast, clever plot twists, by a brilliant actor/director, and with none of the woketarded nonsense that infects currently and happily on-strike Hollyweird and every piece of crap they burp out, preferring instead great entertainment for your time and money, this is your movie.
Branagh's earlier attempts had him doing the role of Poirot well, but not superbly, and making decent remakes, but it wasn't anything like career-best work, certainly not up to his earlier standards, and comparing second-best even to the earlier versions.
A Haunting In Venice is more like his work back in his Henry V days, when at 29 he was rightfully described as the Orson Welles of the era, and for which film he was nominated for Oscars for both Best Actor and Best Director, back when the award denoted actual merit. If he keeps churning out adaptations of Christie's novels and playing Poirot like this, he will be back on that perch to stay.
Rating: ★★★★ - Enthusiastically recommended. And frankly, the best flick of the paltry four offerings we've bothered to see this year, to date. You should only go if you like good movies.
Friday, June 30, 2023
R.I.P. Alan Arkin
"Please...I know everybody on this island is complete and total crazy. But you, Whitaker Walt? You are crazy too?!?"
Age 89, yesterday, at his home in Carlsbad CA, presumably of natural causes. Eight decades in show business, nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for his first feature film role (above) as Lt. Rozanov, with only a Tony, a BAFTA, a Golden Globe, and 40 years after he started in films, an Oscar, to show for it. He sparkled in every role he had, and his final work was a role as a voice in Minions: The Rise Of Gru only last year.
So good, it was worth an homage thirty years later in HBO's Generation Kill:
Thursday, June 22, 2023
It's Just An Illusion
h/t ASM@ Borepatch
Mosey over to Borepatch's blog, and read ASM's epiphany on a classic scene in Full Metal Jacket.
My take?
You (ASM) know no recruit ever saw a doughnut on P.I. Kubrick didn't.
You're still overthinking it. (And BTW, Pyle confessed to stealing the jelly doughnut in the scene without further prompting. Trying to pin this on Hartman's imaginary dastardly subterfuge is plainly bad movie-watching comprehension.)
The doughnut scene was just lazy screenwriting, and bad shorthand to make a point, nothing more nor less. That's the discovery. Hollywood only does that 24/7/365. (Lou Gossett did it even worse, when he won an Oscar for them making it look like he single-handedly ran a Navy OCS platoon in An Officer And A Gentleman. As If.)
Pyle's failure is that he's Pyle. I knew many Pyles. I had them in my recruit platoon. Some of them hid it better than others. Some didn't even try.
We had "Sniper", caught sighting in his M-16 on 1st MAF's helo as it landed on the parade deck.
The "Filter Kings", caught smoking a half-smoked cigarette butt they'd found. (The scene where Profile is running around the entire formation coming back from the range in Heartbreak Ridge? Oh yeah, that happened many times in real life. Just ask the Filter Kings.)
And two outright Thieves who should've been shit-canned from the Marine Corps on the spot in boot camp, and were later court-martialed and shit-canned from the FMF, for stealing ordnance in MOS School right after. Leavenworth Correctional is tough to explain on a resume.
The Corps oft-times fucks up by trying to salvage the unsalvageable, when it should just do them a mercy and kick them out as "unsuitable for military service" for life, the first time it becomes bog obvious.
Not everyone left MCRD in dress blues. Some leave it in Levis. Even two days before graduation. Deservedly.
The D.I.s were simply the illusion of perfection, because they only had to put the show on for their shift. It is the most elaborate staged performance in a military full of them. The Blue Angels have nothing on Marine boot camp for creating an illusion. Doesn't matter for recruits, because they're expected to make illusion reality, Or else.
The problem comes when over-eager recruiters are desperate for audience participation, and screen in kids they should've screened out, and knew they should've screened out.
Anybody can do documentaries on Marine boot camp, or BUDS Class 234. It's not hard.
The one I want to see, that would tear the mask off, would be to do a documentary on BUDS Class 234 Instructors Behind The Scenes. Or ditto for Ranger School or SFAS Cadre.
Then the penny would drop.
The military would crap itself to stop that reality show getting out.
(That's a lot of why The Guardian failed at the box office, despite being an excellent flick: Costner's senior chief was shown to be just as damaged in his personal life as the trainee he was trying to reach, and it was a little bit too on-point for audiences to like. It broke the boot camp movie mold.)
I saw one of the sister platoons' D.I.s in the base PX about a year after boot. After a momentary flashback, the truth dawned. He was just another motor T sergeant, buying T-shirts and socks.
Tuesday, April 4, 2023
Indiana Jones V: Spoiler Alert
Image copyright Paramount Pictures: IJ4: Indiana Jones And The Temple Of What The F**k? |
Saw the trailer for IJ5 last week ahead of the final John Wick installment. No word yet on whether the stunts will be CGI, use 80 year-old Harrison Ford himself, or if they'll just sub in a stunt cripple. But word to SNL: If you need a guy to do Biden in comedy sketches, while Harrison's about the right age, Nick Nolte is the right age and identical mental status!
Monday, August 1, 2022
One To Beam Up: RIP Nichelle Nichols
Aged 89 years, of heart failure.
Even in Hollywood, even in Old Hollywood, it's a pretty rare and special thing to be volun-told you're Jackie Robinson.
Most actors would give their right arm to be typecast like any member of the original crew of the Enterprise was.
Uhura got it done. And a class act all the way.
Friday, July 8, 2022
Last Post For Cpl. Agarn: R.I.P. Larry Storch
Age 99 years. Of natural causes, at home in his apartment in NYFC.
Prolific character actor, WWII Navy veteran, and friend of navy radio operator Bernie Schwartz, who went on to become Tony Curtis.
Thursday, July 7, 2022
R.I.P. James Caan
Epic, and prescient. Of course, we know that evil mega-corporations will never treat the world's population as pawns and resources, right?
About three scenes total in the whole movie, and steals the show in about a minute flat.
And when you see his son Scott in Ocean's Eleven, you can still hear his old man's laugh.
The butcher's kid from Queens. Not a perfect guy, but one helluva great actor. Dead at 82, in Los Angeles, per family announcement, of undisclosed cause.
Mississippi.
Jonathan E.
Santino.
Eddie Dolan.
What a ride. R.I.P.
Tuesday, June 21, 2022
Dungball Review: Without Remorse
h/t Pergelator
Pergelator liked this flick. Well, it's a free country. And we hate to harsh anyone's mellow, but...
Equal time for an opposing view:
Au contraire.
Based on a Tom Clancy story, which isn't the same thing at all.
It's Hollywood-speak for "fornicated the original story up past 11, and all the way to FUBAR." Which, as is tediously predictable, they did.
Anyone who read the original book probably shot their TV screen to pieces by 10 minutes into this craptastic bastardization of Clancy's story.
The flick wasn't shot before a live audience, but the writers, producers, and director - oh, and even Jeff Bezos, CEO of flick-producer Amazon - of this steaming pile of feces definitely should be.
Garbage reworking of his stuff was why, after the third horrible re-write out of four movies, Clancy vowed they'd never get another one of his books to ruin, unless it was over his dead body.
Well, he died in 2013.
So, here's what you get.
If one never read the source novel, from which they lifted the main character's name, and the title, before they burned everything else in a fire, take Clancy's name off this, as should be done, and try to sell it otherwise, and it's nothing but a D- piece of straight to low-budget cable and Albanian distribution dungball movie. It's Cheeze Whiz on a cracker pretending to be caviar.
Without Remorse mainly refers to the way the authors of this cinematic pantload took a crap on Clancy's work and legacy.
At that, it succeeds beyond their wildest expectations.
If somebody gives this to you for free, give it back. You'll be happier, and it's 20 bucks (had you bought it), and 109 minutes of your life you won't have wasted. If you can't turn it down, take it to the skeet range, and glue it to a clay pigeon. Best use of it I can think of.
Our Rating: Watching this movie is like licking your dog's butt. Just less fun for your dog.
Friday, May 27, 2022
Top Gun: Maverick
(No spoilers. Okay, almost.)
Most sequels suck. Even more so, sequels based on 36-year-old original material.
Hollywood usually - in fact reliably - screws the pooch on nearly all of them, because they can, and because most producers aren't even 36 years old. Now you know why they screw the pooch so often.
This is the exception that proves that rule. Cruise wouldn't let them screw this one up, not least because he was one of the producers (and let's face it, without him, as producer or not, there is no Top Gun sequel.)
This was in the can 2½ years ago, but COVID kept getting in the way of its release, and it was pushed from a year ago to last Thanksgiving to, finally, this Memorial Day weekend. It was worth the wait.
If you didn't like the original, don't bother. If you really liked the original, and saw it in the theaters, get yourself back to one now, and see this film. Ideally, in an IMAX theater. This movie is was what IMAX was made for, and this movie was shot for IMAX. You've never seen flying sequences like this, and as Jerry Bruckheimer said in lead-in interviews, you probably never will again either.
It tells a new story, but wraps itself in enough of the original to be satisfying. They couldn't get Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins, Clarence Gilyard, or Rick Rossovich back for this one, let alone older-than-dirt dinosaurs like James Tolkan (90), Tom Skerrit (88), or Michael Ironside (72) but the use of Val Kilmer was priceless.
And if Jennifer Connelly had been cast as the original Penny Benjamin and seen in the original film, we'd get why Maverick broke rules for her, but she'd have been jailbait at the tender age of 16 when the original premiered (she did Labyrinth that year). And we've been in hardcore lust with her since at least 1991, when she did both Career Opportunities and The Rocketeer (both of which you should catch some time, even if just for her). It also helps that at 51 now, and 48 when this was filmed, time has been far kinder to her than it has to currently best-left-in-your-80s-memories Kelly McGillis, now 64, and looking like somebody's cat-lady box wine granny. >shivers<. (Don't look. You were warned.)
You want to know spoilers, beyond the eleventeen trailers released over the last two years? Okay: you haven't seen your last Tomcat dogfight. Want more? Go. See. The. Movie.
You won't be disappointed.
Our Rating: Fleet Admiral - 5 stars.
Wednesday, February 2, 2022
"It's Always February 2nd. And There's Nothing I Can Do About It..."
Even if you've seen it a hundred times, it never gets old.
And it's probably as good as almost anything else you could do.
Monday, January 31, 2022
Dr. Johnny Fever Signs Off: R.I.P. Howard Hesseman
Nice guy, 50-year career as a consistently working actor (which alone put him ahead of 90% of the barristas, waiters, and valets in Tinseltown), and generally inoffensive fellow whose politics you generally never knew and seldom heard about (which puts him ahead of 99% of the other working actors in Tinseltown). Dead of surgical complications, a month short of his 82nd birthday.
Best known for his role on WKRP In Cincinatti, but also Head Of The Class, and yet another 20-year "overnight" success (you can catch him in episodes of The Andy Griffith Show, Dragnet, The Rockford Files, The Bob Newhart Show). Never going to get an Oscar, nor even likely an Emmy (nominated, but no luck there), but fun and funny to watch, and a good memory from happier times. Even worked as a real DJ on a Frisco underground station to prepare for his role on WKRP. Survived by his wife of 33 years. And millions of saddened fans.
Friday, January 7, 2022
R.I.P. Sidney Poitier
Sidney Poitier, one of the most monumentally talented film actors of all time, and winner of multiple awards and honors (from back when they meant something), dead at 94, of natural causes, at his home in the Bahamas. Not a bad life for a kid from Miami, from when drinking fountains were still labeled "White" and "Colored".
Tuesday, October 26, 2021
Dear Angus,
a) They've not had a fatality until last Thursday for 28+ years, over 20,000 movies, 50,000 TV shows, and countless other venues, despite making some of the most weapon-packed shoot-fests in history. And whenever I mention that incontrovertible fact, everyone suddenly finds something interesting six counties away, lest they concede the obvious reality against interest to their axe they're grinding.
b) I've also witnessed the absolute asininity of repositing any hope, whatsoever, in the idea that actors should be expected to get it right so many as one time in 10 years, where the barest requirements of safety with weapons are concerned. I have watched actors just handed hot weapons turn at the slightest provocation and muzzle sweep the entire crew. I have watched actors rehearsing lines with an empty gun walking along, while in their other non-script holding hand, they were repeatedly snapping the trigger on a revolver they were explicitly and sternly warned not to do mere seconds earlier. That's but two examples of what you're working with. Their sole job is to act, and to put any responsibility for weapons safety on their heads is to guarantee more tragedies on sets, not less.
c) Hollywood in toto agrees with that estimation, such that they've made live-fire so rare as to invoke the term unicorn as documentary, rather than hyperbole. And to require that guns on set be limited to prop guns, i.e. non-projectile-firing replicas that can, at most, fire and cycle blank rounds, and not even chamber live rounds of any kind.
d) Which last is why any suggestion that rules for actual firearms be applied unstintingly to such replica weapons that are anything but what you and I consider firearms, is but the first of several dozen errors where this entire discussion has gone into the weeds, and over the cliff.
e) The only fatality they have had, since 1993, was not by someone who followed the industry-wide standards, but rather by someone who broke damned near every single one. So since you're all up on the concept, how about you tell me, and the entire internet, how expanding the regulations and laws on using weapons in the movie industry, which apparently follows them pretty damned flawlessly already, will do Jack or Shit to force people who'll break the law into suddenly saying "Well, since you passed a law, I guess I have to obey it..." exactly like it hasn't decreased crimes and killings with guns in the outside world one single time in hundreds of years of trying that? You're a smart guy on a lot of things, so tell me how it is that 800-pound gorilla hasn't smacked you across the face yet. I'll wait. This one should be good.
f) FTR, Col. Cooper only came up with Four Rules; Hollywood currently adheres to Seventy-Nine. When last I looked, the entire entertainment industry since 1980 or earlier has had precisely three accidental firearms fatalities utilizing their rules (including the one last Thursday), while Florida, dependent on just the Four Rules, had 57 accidental gun deaths in just 2019 (which makes Florida middle-of-the-nation 25th overall) putting it at just 28½ times worse than the movie industry's 40-year death toll, but in only one average year. I could make a much better case that Hollywood should be teaching Florida how to do gun safety than you can for the argument the other way around. And I can do it for Califrutopia or Wyoming with equal mathematical precision, if you're going to demand we listen to apples-and-oranges comparisons that conflate an industry that uses "weapons" expressly designed to harm nobody with a society gleefully awash in weapons painstakingly designed to kill anyone you point them at. Concede that point, or hoist yourself on your own petard. If you put away your oranges, I'll put away my apples. Otherwise, you're going to have to take your lumps. Fair is fair.
4) That all being the case, I believe very sternly in personal responsibility with firearms. Which is why the incompetent dumbass, who rather than follow a flawless safety program, and instead who flouted, and flagrantly ignored virtually every single tenet of it, should be crucified for her role in killing one woman, and wounding another person. And I'm not speaking metaphorically.
5) I'm frankly shocked and dismayed that the pussified jurisprudence of New Mexico will have to sell the innocent life of one woman on that crew for the paltry sum of 18 months in prison, and a $5K pittance of a fine. Were I given the opportunity to make it so, the guilty party would be horsewhipped from dawn to dusk without mercy, and whatever remained would be given a fine public hanging the next day, by the neck, until dead. If you can conceive of a sterner sense of responsibility for killing someone through negligence, I've yet to hear of it.
6) What I cannot condone is trying to impute guilt to an innocent party acting in good faith, thinking that the whole point of industry-wide safety rules is that they would be followed to the letter, and then getting back-stabbed by an incompetent bimbo who followed precisely not a single one of them, with homicidal results.
7) You asked, "But why did that procedure fail on the set of "Rust?"
And you knew the answer before you asked that spring-loaded rhetorical question:
That procedure didn't "fail"; rather obviously it was never even followed.
8) Then you suggest that this was a failure of sufficiently rigorous licensure.
a) Point Of Order here, mate: You can't suggest in one breath that every jackass can do safety right, and then five seconds later suggest that "What we really need, is stricter gun laws!" I mean, at least, not unless you were going for the biggest ass-slapping guffaw in comedy history, and your idea of subtlety is dropping a house on someone.
b) You're the guy always leading the parade in saying that taking your AR-15 to the pier to go fishing is perfectly reasonable, with nary a single restriction anywhere visible even from space, but if Hollywood wants to film a shootout, they should call in the IRS, and whistle up a few feet of additonal codocils, provisos, and specifications??? Laws for thee, but not for me!" Srsly???
Let's see if this holds water:
I've gotta tell you, you had me thinking for a paragraph or three you were serious. Now I'm going to need ibuprofen for the whiplash, and my stomach hurting from laughing so hard for so long.
But we need to focus on something important here:
Who are you, and what have you done with Angus McThag?
Thanks (no, really) for lightening the mood on this, even if it was the last thing you intended to do when you went banana-peel surfing down those three flights of stairs and did that double backflip into the glass coffee table with the wedding cake on it. That was wicked funny!
9) Word to your sooper-secret contact: as I've only pointed out, oh, half a dozen times in the last 5 days, the entire list of proper procedures for firearms and ammunition handling on set is available to anybody, free, online:
Industry-Wide Safety Bulletins
Prop Firearms is helpfully #1, and live guns and ammo is #2.
[Hint for the Thinking Impaired (i.e. Not Angus, but any number who read this): As industry-sanctioned safety rules, assented to by multiple Fortune 500 companies, and all signatory participants throughout the motion picture production industry, and in place for deacdes, these rules have the protection of state and federal labor law, and are in fact, not like Pirate's Code, merely guidelines, despite even what they say on their cover. Nor pejoitively dismissable as mere Hollywood nonsense, as certain witless wonders with law degrees have opined while knowing better. They actually have legal standing. Cooper's Four Rules, by contrast, are codified as mandatory precisely nowhere in NM state law (nor any other state's, AFAIK, but we are fully open to counter-argument with references), and while wise, and informative, have no such legal standing. They are thus, officially, no more legally authoritative, however wise and prudent they may be, than Aesop's Four Rules, or Angus' Four Rules, nor even Alec baldwin's Four Rules, in any court of law. Sorry if that's news to anyone, especially if you are an acolyte of the Holy Temple of Cooper, but that's the breaks.]
You wrote "There's proper ways to do things when playing with dangerous items. Ways that mitigate the dangers."
Yes, indeed, there are. Hence those very safety bulletins. We noticed. We've been telling you and anybody else who hasn't got their head shoved way up their ass hasn't got their fingers in their ears all about those proper ways, For days and days. Much good that it's done for the cement-heads.
10)
"At the end of the day, the person on the trigger is the one who decides that they are OK with how well the procedures have been followed and they pull the trigger, or refuse. Making them responsible for what happens in the end because they are the last go/no-go in the chain..."
Aw. And you were doing so well...
That's not how you do it. Not with nuclear weapons, and not with firearms on set. You don't wait until the hammer's cocked, the weapon is pointed, and then hope that Billy Joe Dumbfuck with the great smile and hairdo decides to drop the hammer, or suddenly thinks "Sorry, C.B., I'm just not feeling my motivation for this scene, baby..."
Just, no.
What you do is, you plan the scene. then you get the experts you need to make it work. Then you block it out: where the camera goes, where the lights are, where the actor stops, moves, points, shoots, and what's someplace it shouldn't be, and what needs protection, or moving, or changing from concept to reality. Then you walk everyone, including the actors, through it, to rehearse it. With nothing but finger guns if necessary. you get all the permits and permissions up front, and you have everyone poised to do it, and ready to do eleventy things if anything goes wrong, while you plan eleventy-squared was to make sure nothing goes wrong. The actors have already talked through it, and walked through it, and rehearsed through it so many times before you actually do it, you aren't worried about whether he's going to pull the trigger. Amateurs talk tactics, professionals talk logistics. You're ready to do this thing at least 10-20 times, in case everything goes wrong on the first take. And even if you bottle lightning in one take, you still do it twice, for safety, in case the film gets dropped off a cliff, or the messenger's truck gets hit by a meteor. Yes, really.
I've worked on sets here we shot people. Over and over again. Where we shot live gatling guns. Where we had full-auto fire going on for 2-4 minutes, for take after take, for a dozen guys. And on and on. Big stars on big shows, nobodies on cheesier schlock than Baldwin's non-union out-of-town p.o.s., and everything in between.
Total number of dead, from firearms, in all that time? Zero, of course.
Because prop guns aren't REAL guns 99% of the time, and are inherently NOT dangerous, because they're designed and intended to NOT kill people, unlike every REAL gun you, me, and 200M other people own.
Because of those exact industry safety rules. Right up until some bimbo airhead moron ignores every single applicable rule put in place for everyone's protection, and brings a real gun with a live round of ammunition to a set rehearsal designed and intended for nothing of the sort.
Firearms injuries in that time that i personally saw? One.
(Blackpowder flintlock pistol, pointed well off-line with one actor, but which shot the World's Smallest powder Cinder out of the edge of the pan, 15' away, which hit the guy's lower eyelash for a fraction of a second. Five seconds with some simple saline eyewash, no damage, let alone anything permanent, back in the game a minute later. That's it. because some things are unpredictable.)
But the last person in the chain, the final go/no-go, is the prop master, Armorer, and/or their assistants, who load weapons, pass them out moments before we roll film (or electrons), and collect them within seconds of hearing "Cut! Take after take after take.
because just as wars are far too serious a matter to leave to generals, loaded weapons, even just blanks, are far too serious to leave with actors.
And actors are fine with that, because they care about their co-workers, their crewmembers, and frankly, their jobs. They have far too much other b.s. to worry about to be expected to master any and every firearm and every other prop they're handed, and it's obviously much better to insure safe weapons, properly loaded or properly empty, by having actual weapons experts check that, who can focus on their "one thing". The cameraman isn't checking the safety of the lights. The makeup artist isn't over there with a spirit level making sure the camera dolly track is on the level. the director isn't checking that the grips strapped the camera down securely to the hood of the picture car.
The director directs. The camera operators operate the camera. The sound guys do sound. the lighting guys run the cables, plug in the lights, tur them on and off, and point them where the gaffer and the DP want them pointed. The makeup people do makeup, the wardrobe people do wardrobe, and the armorers worry about the weapons. All so the actors can just act.
Just like it works at hundreds of companies, factories, businesses, and jobs all over the planet, 247/365/forever.
Because everything isn't everybody's job.
Not even gun safety.
That's why there are rules at ammunition companies, and firearms companies, and ranges, and when hunting, and when shooting, and they all have some liability if they aren't followed, which is why every bullet that flies and every firearms accident, is not always, 100%, no exceptions, the fault of the guy with the gun last.
Don't believe me, ask 500,000 trial lawyers. Everybody knows this, but they want to pretend it's different, because "Lynch Baldwin! Get a rope!"
Their job is their job.
And that demands the utmost dedication and responsibility there is.
And an actor who "doesn't care about safety"? They'll get dropped - off a cliff. (Maybe only enough to get them to soil their shorts, but the message will be delivered, and received.) Sandbags or lights will fall on their heads. (Ask Mike Meyeres how many sound takes he needed on his next movie after he made the crack on worldwide TV "And the Oscar for Best Sound goes to...WHO CARES?! yuk yuk" Inside word was it took about 40 takes to get scenes in the can, instead of 2-3. Until he apologized. Profusely. After the producers offered him the option of unemployment. Hollywood is the world HQ of "Fuck me? No, fuck you!") So you work safe, or they'll snatch that gun out of your hand in the middle of the take, and walk the whole weapons cart back to the prop truck until you pull your head out of your ass. And they'll tell the producer to either straighten you out, or fire you, or else they'll just go home with all the weapons props, and bone the company out of $500K/day. Been there, seen that, got the t-shirt.
See if you can guess who gets stuck with that bill before they get another check from the producers.
The system isn't broken.
There was one flagrant fuck-up in this incident. She's going to prison (for not nearly long enough, but that's NM's fault) and she'll literally never work in The Biz again, daddy being a legacy notwithstanding. With a felony record.
She really should be horsewhipped.
But Alec Baldwin having anything to be blamed for, for her dozens and dozens of cock-ups on that single day alone?
Yeah, as if. It should never happen, unless we're in Bizarro Opposite World.
That's not giving him (or anyone else) a "free pass".
It's keeping the experts responsible for their expertise, rather than having amateurs fingerbang the whole machinery, and getting busloads of people, instead of single digits, killed or injured, because no one is ever going to be good at everything, or good enough at multiple things. Hell, if you're really lucky, actors are good at acting. Out of 160,000 SAG members, you'd be hard-pressed even to find a few hundred of those.
But I only worked in the industry in question for a couple of decades, and you for not a minute, and the weapons expertise you bring to the table has no bearing on "weapons" and situations designed to only appear to hurt people, while actually being rather stringently required not to hurt anyone, because we need that guy tomorrow for his big scene. And, oh yeah, that would be a felony.
I can push cardiac drugs safely, which you can't, and you can change transmissions, which I wouldn't know the first thing about even starting, let alone safely or properly. We all have different skillsets.
And all that's why people who think they've got a handle on this simply don't know how much they don't know. And should probably be content to let the dancing monkey dance.
Think about it: How do you feel when you hear Alec Baldwin tell anyone how the Second Amendment should work?
And now you think you should be telling him how motion picture production and safety should work?
Sunday, October 24, 2021
Where it stands with the tragedy of Rust
For the love of sweet baby Jesus, before you offer any further commentary on this, prior, or subsequent threads, go read these two Motion picture Industry Wide Safety Bulletins:
2) Special Use Of Live Ammunition
They are quite literally the BIBLE on set operations on their respective topics. period. paragraph. Motherf**king WORD.
If you don't read them (FFS, they're about 4 short pages apiece, and it takes about 2 minutes, even if you need Hooked On Phonics to get through them), and aren't competent to comment based on them, you are, as has become manifestly obvious, not tall enough for this ride.
They make it abundantly obvious, by mentioning the specific duties of the armorer twenty-seven times, while mentioning any activity or responsibility by the actor only twice, in just the first bulletin, where the actual job responsibility, as well as legal, ethical, and moral culpability for safe use of weapons on any production lies.
Bummer for a thousand internet harpies, it is 0% with Baldwin, in any capacity, and nearly 100% with the armorer, in this case grossly criminally negligent and legally culpable for involuntary manslaughter.
That's 18 months in the NM State Prison, and a $5K fine. Call, raise, or fold, Sport.
What happened, per best information available:
A scene was being rehearsed.
Allegedly with a Civil War era/style muzzle-loading cap-and-ball black powder Colt revolver like this one.
The DP, 1st AC, and director were all grouped around the camera, where they could best see the shot they were planning.
Baldwin pointed, cocked, and fired a supposed "COLD" weapon at the camera, which turned out to be not only wrongly loaded, but loaded with a live round, which flew over the 1st AC's head, punched into the DP and through her, and then struck the director behind her.
QED.
The number of fuck-ups that requires of Baldwin is zero.
The number of fuck-ups either actually performed, and/or actually neglected, by the armorer, by the numbers:
1) Failure to maintain possession of the weapon and put it in the actor's hand before the rehearsal.
2) Failure to remove a live round from the weapon before even bringing it to the set for rehearsal.
3) Failure to check that it was empty before rehearsal.
4) Failure to have someone else double-check to ensure it was completely empty before rehearsal.
5) Failure to ensure the actor witnessed the check and double check before handing it to them.
6) Failure to account for all live rounds previously loaded, and keep them, and/or any powder and ball materials for live shots completely separate from rehearsal weapons.
7)Failure to keep weapons capable of firing live rounds entirely segregated from weapons for use on sets where firing live rounds was neither practical, advisable, permissible, legal, nor discussed beforehand.
Being that this was a non-union low-budget ($6M, which is chump change for a movie these days) production, I'll wager dollars to donuts the production also did not have
9) a trained and equipped on-set medic (EMT, EMT-P, RN, or anything like) standing by in direct proximity to render aid in the event of the exact emergency that occurred, nor any other, which for any union production, and even most non-union ones where firearms are in use, is a requirement.
That fuck-up is laid at the feet of the Unit Production Manager, whose exact job it would be to hire or contract for such services, and who evidently failed to do any such thing, probably for budgetary reasons.
It was reported "the crew" rendered aid after the accident.
Not "the Medic/paramedic/nurse".
(We haven't even gotten started on that sub-topic, kids. Stay tuned.)
That's nine open and flagrant violations of standard set operations protocol, either stone-cold certain, or overwhelmingly likely.
Gonna be a lot of red asses by the time this gets to trial.