2676 posts tagged with family.
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How to talk about making families when things can get contentious
My partner and I are two queer women. One of us is adopted, and the other is donor-conceived. We both have strong feelings about family and identity but are generally private. As such, we usually do not disclose that we are adopted or donor-conceived unless we have a very close or intimate relationship with someone. We are married and at an age where many of our friends have children. We will not be using any assisted reproductive technologies or adopting if we decide to bring children into our family. Usually, we avoid having detailed conversations around this topic, but in some cases, it's unavoidable, and I'd like some help navigating these situations. [more inside]
I feel as though I have been backed into a corner.
How do you handle someone who is emotionally abusive and using their child as a pawn? [more inside]
How to entertain someone who's health is failing?
I'm spending 5 days with my dad over Xmas. He has two knee replacements (one of which is defective) and major heart troubles, so he can't do much. What can we do together with all that time? [more inside]
Thanksgiving interview booth questions
This Thanksgiving I'm planning on setting up a video interview booth. We'll have a couple dozen extended family hanging around for a few days. Kids ages 4 through 12. Adults ages 22 to 79. What should we ask them? [more inside]
Looking for YouTube cozy home recommendations
I like watching a YouTube genre I would best describe as 'everyday life in another country.' Looking for more recommendations in this style. [more inside]
Starting to really dislike my family of origin
I’m in therapy and will keep processing this but my feelings are really growing and I could use some perspectives / advice. Excuse the rant. [more inside]
Paranoia, extended famliy edition
Do you have experience with a relative who sank into a paranoid delusion or a conspiracy theory to the point that it impacted their life severely? What do you wish you had done differently? What are you glad you did? What would you recommend as general next steps? [more inside]
not so much grief as a moral injury
How do you hold the moral injury/grief of a sibling not acknowledging what you went through was abuse? Dead father, big blowup, I-also-made-mistakes edition. [more inside]
Stories about happy, chaotic families
In need of comfort. I enjoy reading about chaotic families who love each other really. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Meeting a long lost relative
In the coming days we'll meet a relative we previously didn't know existed. I want to help them feel welcome without overwhelming them. Have you navigated this process? What worked and what do you wish you had done differently? Looking for anecdata from both sides of the equation. [more inside]
Clean up young adult credit from parent use
How can a young adult clean up a credit record that was damaged by their parent, but without incriminating the parent? A young adult I know has old internet/cable and electricity bills on their credit report that were opened by their parent. Not sure how old, but assume more than five years old. Obvs this is impacting their ability to build and use credit. How can the young adult fix their credit without incriminating their parent? [more inside]
Help me think about how to deal with this difficult situation, please.
I need help with a touchy situation that brings up alllll sorts of tough issues for me. [more inside]
How to Plan a Trip: Extended Family Edition
My stepfather has a vision, he wants our 13-14 person extended family to go on a grand adventure together. He’s also picked a location for this which exactly two people in the group is interested in, 3 have flat out refused, and the rest are reluctant. I’m going to see him on Friday and want to propose a location that more people will be enthusiastic about. Please help me come up with suggestions. [more inside]
Need help with old age crisis
As I amble towards my seventh decade, I am feeling sad and trapped. I still don’t feel at home in the country I live in to help my grandchildren and my daughter. To be fair, I did not feel at home when I lived in the US far away from them. I am sad about not having the friends I want nor the community I need. [more inside]
Looking for funny videos about empty nest syndrome
Can anyone recommend some funny online video content about empty nest syndrome? I need to distract my friend, who is going through a wide range of emotions as her oldest daughter prepares to leave for college. [more inside]
Multi switch family
We have a Switch since previously, and haven't touched it in over a year because of the difficulty of sharing an island in Animal Crossing. We are going to get another bloody Switch to solve this issue. I don't have the spoons to google the questions inside. [more inside]
Father death and adult trauma from the past
How does the death of an abusive father affect the trauma issues of his adult children? [more inside]
Places to buy jigsaw puzzles NOT designed by AI?
What it says on the, erm, "box." We are a dedicated jigsaw puzzle family, and it's become incredibly difficult to find puzzles that don't have an AI-generated feel. We do not like the hyper-bright colors, or compositions that feels generated, not intentionally designed. I miss the days of photos of real, beautiful places that haven't been made cartoonish through hyper-color saturation. Another family member enjoys the Americana style paintings (Jane Wooster Scott); in general, things that look natural or painted by a human. Where can we still find these??
Brother threatened to shoot me (over text) over small argument
My brother (42m), who i've had a mostly chill though superficial relationship with growing up, has been getting really into weaponry. Recently, we had a small argument * over text, not in person * - we live in different cities - where he tried to get me to do something I wasn't that comfortable with (though not that big a deal), and I stood up for myself, and he got angrier and angrier and said if I were there he would shoot me/use his weapons on me, and made it clear he was not joking. Now I don't feel safe around him and not sure what to do next with our relationship. [more inside]
Supporting a parent in search of their biological family
My mother was adopted by my grandparents. She wants to search for her biological family. How can I support her? [more inside]
How Can I Manage This Stressful Dynamic with My Mom?
I’m 41 y/o woman who lives in CA. I'm visiting family in NC for 3 weeks and am already struggling with a recurring issue in my relationship with my mom, and I’d appreciate some advice on how to handle it. Here’s what occurred today (more inside): [more inside]
Sibling with mental health and housing issues, far away
I need a whole lot of help on a whole lot of levels. This touches on sibling relationships, homelessness, mental illness and logistics. There is so much [more inside]
Crtl+Z in life after making it weird
I stated my boundaries. My sister is respecting them by not talking to me.
My questions: what were my missteps, what are your insights, what do you recommend I do?
This is a LONG one. For anyone who wants to pour themselves a cuppa, I'm about to pour my heart out and I would love any support sorting this out. [more inside]
Adventurous Travel with Kids?
I am wondering how fantastical my international travel dreams are now that I have a kid and am middle aged. [more inside]
What's a good way to gift travel funds?
I have a younger step-sibling who has expressed interest in travel this year, and I want to support that as part of my birthday gift to them. There are no specific plans yet, and they life far away from me, so I wasn't sure how to best do this. Does anyone have good ideas for how to gift funds for travel? [more inside]
Itinerary for two weeks in Panama with a toddler and a 5 year old
I've booked two weeks in July in Panama. We will be travelling with our 5 yr old and an 18 month old. Flying into Panama City. Looking for your ideas, tips, tricks, and general thoughts. [more inside]
Moving closer to family for childrearing
Hi Mefites,
Last year I posted a question regarding raising our kid in two locations and you all were very helpful. With another year of parenting under our belt, and with pretty robust attempts to get closer to some other families in our immediate area without much success, I am now leaning towards just moving closer to family. [more inside]
What would happen to you if you were deported from US to Russia 1930
I just got a family mystery landed in my lap and I have to work and can't look this up - writing on a photo says "she was a Russian Jew and was deported back to Russia with her daughter in the early 30s" I have so many questions. [more inside]
Mourning(?) one who contained multitudes
My father recently died very unexpectedly. He was, by all accounts, a devoted, loving, and supportive father and husband -- to his young second family. I am a member of his first family, all of whom were in varying states of near-estrangement stemming from his being alternatively absent and terrifying during my childhood and emotionally manipulative in the decades since whenever we tried to reconnect. [more inside]
Experiences building a family without your primary partner?
Do you have experiences that you would care to share of creating a family where your romantic partner (or at least your primary partner) was not a co-parent, or at least not a major one? My partner and I disagree on the kids question, but we're curious about other models than the nuclear families we grew up in. Lots of details beyond the jump. [more inside]
Games like Nine Arches (but different)? Other suggestions?
I am looking for non-screen activities to do with a parent and a 12 year old kid. [more inside]
Family Sharing Photo Workflow
I take pictures on my phone. My wife takes pictures on her phone. I'm looking for a way to merge these pictures automatically into one shared photo album that I can back up, share, and otherwise tinker with. Any ideas? [more inside]
How to respond to a meddler in family affairs?
My MIL is a textbook narcissistic abuser and after her last verbal attack, the hubby and I decided we don't want her in our lives anymore. Fast forward to this morning, where the MIL's friend decided to take exception and say the wrong thing. It's gotten under my skin and I'm about to explode saying something, but I know it probably wouldn't be wise. [more inside]
What is the right thing to do with this inheritance?
A relative has willed her estate to only me. I have siblings, and am trying to figure out whether and how to share the money with them. Can you help me think through this? [more inside]
Options for family between health insurance coverage
Options for family between health insurance coverage [more inside]
Older and not wiser - elderly family member demanding unavailable help
What do you do when a family member who is too frail to live on their own will only accept help from people who can't help as much as they need? If you accept that you must help to some degree, how do you endure constant criticism and demands for additional assistance that you can't give? How do you stop this pattern repeating over and over? [more inside]
Need to loan family a largish sum for a short period?
We have some money that we had saved up for a down payment that -- due to life changes -- is now just waiting around until we figure out our next steps. A close blood relative is in need of ~$35k between buying a house, moving, and selling a house. The proceeds of the house sale will easily cover the loan, and we are not in need of the money anytime soon.
Are there tax implications for either party if I simply "cut them a check" / wire transfer them the money if they pay it back this calendar year? Are their other legal or regulatory pitfalls I need to be aware of? [more inside]
How to get along better when staying with family?
I'm temporarily living with my Aunt, but it's awkward..... snowflakes inside [more inside]
What do I send to a long-lost cousin to say I am thinking about her?
Due to immigration and displacement, I have family members all over Europe. My much younger adult cousin (who I have never met and lives in Germany) recently lost her father (my uncle) who I met only once as a very small child. [more inside]
Help me find Upcoming Conference/ Summit on Paid Family Leave and Care
Greetings All,
I hope you are doing well!
I recently told a partner I would share a link to an upcoming conference/summit focused on Paid Family Leave and Caregiving.
Unfortunately, I'm unable to locate the link.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I am sure I saw it in a newsletter or on a listserv.
Thank you in advance for your help!
Best regards [more inside]
How do deal with this uncomfortable family/money conversation?
My brother summoned up a family convo because he is unhappy about a donation in cash my Mom gave me. I don't know how to approach it. [more inside]
Tips for Dealing with Other People's Jealousy
Does anyone have advice or resources (such as books, articles or really anything that isn’t a google search) that helps in dealing with people who are jealous or envious of me? [more inside]
How to deal with sibling who manipulates constant contact?
We are not close and have a 10 year age gap (me F50, her F60). She does have some OCD issues and I have done my best to accommodate that, as kindly as possible. She has history with creating drama and several other family members have indulged this over the years. I think this is harmful for me, explanation inside. [more inside]
How to take care of myself when family members are having a crisis
My family's biggest source of sadness and distress is that my uncle has schizoaffective disorder and is currently going through a severe psychotic episode. My mom, who bears the brunt of almost everything he's done for 40+ years, has failing health and this is breaking her. I'm not allowed to get involved because my uncle is now considered dangerous. I am struggling and afraid for my family. What can I do? [more inside]
Help me help a young adult move out!
My niece Amy will be 18 in March and done with high school a couple months later. She lives at home with her parents and two younger siblings. For about a year, she's been wanting to move out. Her parents were against that all along - they think she should stay at home while she's in school, and ideally even for the first couple years of college. I believe this is partly a financial decision: While college itself is free here, they'd have to pay for lodging. However, the situation at home is not ideal. I want to help this young adult get herself into a safe place. [more inside]
The "evil" stepmother
I don't want a relationship with my stepmom for what I think are very good reasons. My dad doesn't understand and I feel very hurt and betrayed. Now what? [more inside]
Celebrating in Berlin
My parents (early 70s) are celebrating their 50th (!) wedding anniversary mid February and are taking us (myself, my brother and SIL (40s) and their daughters, 13 and 15) to Berlin for the week. Woohoo! We're Dutch and going by train. My parents and I have been to the city previously, brother and fam have not. Give me all your recommendations please! [more inside]
Books/Resources/Advice on Dealing with Homophobic Family
I’m a queer woman (well, womanish) in a relationship with a queer woman for the past 8 months. Everyone in my family is happy for me except my very catholic sister, who has tried to talk me out of being queer, and who is extremely resistant to the idea of my being in a queer relationship. I’m looking for things to read about dealing with this kind of situation. [more inside]
What to ask your elderly parents about what's next
In a previous question I mentioned needing to talk to my elderly parents about longterm planning and user basalganglia said it was "probably a whole 'nother question in itself". So this is that whole 'nother question. What questions should I be asking my aging parents about their next steps? Assume I know absolutely nothing about aging, retirement, long-term care, and so on. [more inside]
AITA if I don't offer to help with shipping costs?
My sister-in-law graciously offered to ship my Christmas presents back in December cross-country to me. She was my "secret Santa" and had given me a big wood frame, plus some other items, so she offered to ship everything (all gifts I received from her, plus others, which were few). [more inside]