Marinerds, etc.

Yesterday was officially Kids Day at the Hawks-Eagles game, but in reality, it might as well be today, given who's taking the mound.

The pitching matchup tonight features former Yakult pitcher and current Hawks pitcher Rick Guttormson facing off against Eagles rookie and Koshien hero Masahiro Tanaka, formerly of Komadai Tomakomai HS. After a mostly-uneventful top of the first inning where Teppei attempted to accomplish something and the rest of the Eagles didn't, Tanaka takes the mound, and the announcers immediately start comparing the hype over him in the draft to Matsuzaka. It's sort of funny watching him now -- he does look almost just like he did back in Koshien, throwing that lovely slider of his. Hard to believe he's not even 18 and a half years old yet and making his first pro start.


(Screenshot from softbankhawks.jp 100k videofeed)

Well. Ohmura is retired on a groundball to short, by the second base bag, but Kawasaki hits a ground ball single out to left. Hitoshi Tamura gets it into his mind that he's going to foul off everything Tanaka throws to him, and after 8 pitches, including a pitchout attempt, Tamura swings at a slider which dives down into the dirt for strike three. Tamura's out -- Tanaka's first professional strikeout! -- but Kawasaki makes it to second base safely as catcher Fujii fumbles the ball. (Fujii's fumbled the ball a couple of times.) Tanaka's mostly being clocked around 142 km/h -- about 88 mph. Not too bad for an 18-year-old kid. Aaaand... Nobuhiko Matsunaka unsurprisingly hits a double to right, a sharp line drive past a diving Takasu, scoring Kawasaki. 1-0 Hawks. But after that, Tanaka strikes out Hiroki Kokubo, swinging at what looked like a shuuto right down the middle. Sweet. So there's his first professional inning -- against the most formidable lineup in his league -- 18 pitches, 2 hits, 1 run, 2 strikeouts. Could be worse.



I'm not liveblogging the rest of the game, despite my amusement at things like watching Kevin Witt hit a single off Rick Guttormson, don't worry.

I didn't bother watching last night's Hawks-Eagles game with the Eagles' Shingo Mama Matsuzaki facing off against Toshiya Sugiuchi. Sugiuchi is only two years removed from winning a Sawamura award in 2005, and is the FOURTH starter on the Hawks rotation. That should give you a pretty good idea of why I fear them so much. Sugiuchi pitched a complete game shutout in 113 pitches, striking out 7, as the Hawks mauled the Eagles 9-0. I feel bad for Matsuzaki -- he was decent on the farm team last year, but it's obvious he's not really ready to pitch at ichi-gun yet.

(Oh WOW, in the time it took me to write that paragraph up, the Eagles took a 3-1 lead on the Hawks. Guttormson's pretty much getting owned by a bunch of hitters smacking a bunch of hoppers into right field. Whee. At the same time, I think Tanaka is learning that if he doesn't strike out every single batter he faces, the fielding behind him will find one way or another to screw up. Sigh.)

In theory, the reason I started writing this post was to say that the Hawks commercials for this year and last year are all really awesome. They actually have a page of the commercials on their site, if you want to see a longer and higher-quality version of the boxing ring commercial, featuring Saitoh and Matsunaka pitching/hitting at each other. What's funny is that there are various endings to it -- the normal ending has Hiroki Kokubo climb into the ring after Matsunaka's out, but for Ladies' Day they have a woman in a Hawks jersey climb into the ring instead, and for Kids' Day they have a bunch of kids climb into the ring. It's pretty cute.

What's even more awesome is the Hawks 2006 commercials, though. If you understand Japanese, I highly recommend watching through them. The "Nothing But Baseball" (野球しかない) series is pretty intense, with narrations from Arakaki, Kawasaki, Matsunaka, and Saitoh about their thoughts and experiences in baseball. ("I believe in my bat. And my teammates." "I get my strength from the fans.")

And then the "We = Hawks" coaching ones are great too. Kawasaki getting coached by a kid, Matoba being "coached" by a hyper crazy office lady type, Saitoh getting swarmed by schoolgirl fans wanting to pitch like him, Matsunaka getting hitting coaching from salarymen, Arakaki getting pitching-from-the-heart advice from a tiny old lady, etc. いっしょうに、野球を。

I really wish I could find Fighters commercials online. I'm working on it. I wonder if the Hawks have this stuff up mostly because Softbank is such a big media/internet company.

(...and in the time it took me to write THOSE paragraphs, the Hawks went and took back that lead, scoring 4 runs off Tanaka to bring the score to 5-3, so he's getting taken out of the game, which he did NOT look happy about, but hey. Talk about being thrown into the fire.)



And in more fun things, Sadaharu Oh apparently was learning how to handle an actual hawk.

Lest you think I am totally turning this into a Hawks blog instead of a Fighters blog, I will mention that Fernando Seguignol is a goofy game hero, and as always, Hichori Morimoto is goofier. (Though I hope he didn't actually go on the field with his uniform on backwards.)

(Hmmm, 6-5 Hawks now, the Eagles are trying to catch up. Ying-Chieh Lin actually seems like a decent pitcher. Alas, my server is flaking out and I need to sleep.)

Well, among other things (such that today is Pi Day!), the Mariners also have their 2007 commercials up on the official site. Check them out:

Mariners 2007 Commercials

Overall, these are better than the 2005 ones -- anything would beat the Lame Shopping Network -- but compared to the ones in the past, they're not that outstanding, and they're probably a shade worse than last year's, but I'm mostly only saying that because none of them are better than the Legend of Big Richie.

So, a brief summary in the order I liked them, worst to best:

7. Map
This one mostly features the Mariner Moose having a flashback to when he was a "kid". It's pretty dumb. Also features Miguel Batista, Jose Vidro, John McLaren and a map. Yawn.

6. Rauuuuuul
So this one shows a bunch of people going through their work days with a big U painted on them, before embarking on their evenings at Safeco Field as part of a "RAUUUUUL" line. However, I've never really been a fan of people with letters painted on their bodies, plus I think this commercial will actually look pretty dumb on TV if you don't already know what it is.

4.5. Serious Heat
4.5. Working the Zone
These two are about equivalent to me. In "Serious Heat", Rene Rivera and an umpire put on welding masks to deal with Felix's Flaming Fastball. Highlight of commercial is Felix saying "Muy caliente!" In "Working the Zone", JJ Putz is showing off the accuracy of some pitcher to Chris Reitsma, only it turns out the "pitcher" is actually Ichiro throwing the ball in from right field. Highlight of commercial is Ichiro saying "Just a bit outside". Also, high socks.

3. Thinking Man's Game
Also known as "Deep Thoughts by JJ Putz", he shoulders the load of being the star of TWO commercials this season, as this one features him and George Sherrill sitting around in the bullpen. It's mostly funny if you already think JJ is sort of dumb. In all honesty, though, it was much funnier ten years ago when they did "A thinking team is a winning team."

2. Rosin Bag
J-Rod the Washburninator isn't the world's greatest actor or anything, but I think the idea behind this one is pretty funny -- Washburn's basically turned the rosin bag into a man-purse, so he's got nail clippers in there for Johjima, sun glare smudge for Bloomquist, and even family photos and his cellphone. I have a feeling this commercial will mostly go forgotten until some opportune time during the season when J-Rod's having a bad game, and someone yells "Hey, did you leave your glasses in your rosin bag, Washburn?"

1. Double Play Twins
This was the only one to make me laugh out loud, and thus win the Marinerds Seal of Approval as The Best Commercial of the 2007 Batch. Jose Lopez and Yuniesky Betancourt star as the "double play twins", basically to a tune that's somewhere between The Turtles' "So Happy Together" and the Doublemint Gum commercial theme:

You're seeing double, yes -- it's true.
See what the Double Play Twins can do.
Watch 'em throw, watch 'em catch,
Jose and Yuni, what a match!
The double play, double play, Double Play Twins!

They play games together, brush teeth together, play the accordion together (!?), and even ride a tandem bike across the field wearing the same ridiculous outfit, at which point they see Adrian Beltre, ask "Too much?" and he just gives them a look of "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY RETARDED."

It's pretty overboard, but in a good way.

You know what I miss? Silly Jamie Moyer commercials. Or maybe I just miss Jamie Moyer. I'm not sure which.

First, let me say that I'm really saddened to see that Japan lost to Korea in the WBC game today. I watched for a bit, but left to play volleyball during the 5th inning while it was still 0-0. Watanabe looked great, much better than he did last time he pitched. Thing is, for Japan to advance at this point, the US has to lose to Mexico and give up more than 2 runs... with Roger Clemens on the mound. Bleh. It's just not going to happen. I'm really hating those umpires from the Japan-US game.

Anyway, I watched the new Mariners commercials, as mentioned in the last post, and let me just sort of summarize them, in the order I enjoyed them, worst to best:

6. The Great Wall of Adrian
An exaggeration of Beltre's ability at 3rd, with him getting more and more ridiculous until he's basically sitting on a wall. I think it's dorky along the same lines of that Bret Boone one from two years ago.

5. Tribute (Jamie Moyer)
This one features a historical perspective on Jamie Moyer's "illustrious" career, which apparently started in 1926. It's a cute idea, but a disturbing picture of Moyer with big 70's hair.

4. Kollectors (King Felix)
In this commerical, Mariners fans are acquiring K's from all over -- movie theaters, the Pike Place Market, etc. I thought this one was nicely directed and I like the idea behind it - I would have liked to see them steal the K from a Seahawks sign somewhere, though I guess that'd be taboo.

3. Epidemic (Ichiro)
This one features a whole bunch of people in various professions doing the Ichiro sleeve tug as they're doing their jobs. It's also really nicely directed, and I think people will appreciate it when they see it on TV.

2. Talk To The Glove (various)
This is in theory supposed to be the silly one involving the whole team, and it IS pretty silly -- it has various Mariners guys going various places but always talking into their glove if they talk at all, like getting in a taxi, ordering fast food, etc. It's cute.

1. The Legend of Big Richie (Sexson)
And this, my friends, wins the Marinerds Seal of Approval as The Best Commercial of the 2006 Batch. This is so incredibly awesome that I almost wish I'd thought of it myself. It's basically this folk song about Richie Sexson, hugely exaggerated, with him interjecting the truths behind the myths as a folk song choruses behind him, "Big Richieeeeee". Infact, I liked it so much I'm going to transcribe the lyrics here. Richie's words are in italics:

He wears a ten foot glove to field the ball
And stands a full forty oxen tall
Actually, I'm 6'8".
(Big Richie!)

He throws a semi truck across the street
He wrestles bears and eats raw meat
Uh, they're sunflower seeds.
(Big Richie!)

He swam the Nile
With a crocodile
And he hits that ball...
[SMACK!]
A country mile.
As a matter of fact... I do!
(Big Richie! Big Richie!)

So, yeah. An improvement over the Lame Shopping Network, I'll grant, but I think there's some wasted potential here. Ah well.

I have to wonder if they'll use the Legend of Big Richie song at any time as stadium music, though. I bet Sexson would kill them if they made it his at-bat song.