357 posts tagged with autism.
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Is there are crossover between autism and CPTSD?
I'm starting to wonder whether I (36F) might be autistic. It's been difficult for me to pin down what’s happening as I've always blamed all my symptoms on childhood trauma but I'm starting to suspect there's something else going on. [more inside]
Looking for an "Autism Advocate"
How can I find someone knowledgeable about autism, especially in women ("high functioning"), to help advocate in a small group setting in Durham NC? Ideally they should be comfortable with clueless lawyers who do not get it. Availability from anywhere for online Tuesday 9:30 AM EST also great. (**bonus for pointers to Durham NC mediators who are autism educated.) [more inside]
Great Grandparents were cousins, would this cause problems?
My father and a cousin have a great interest in family genealogy. They uncovered grand parents or great great grandparents who were first cousins and are now wondering about various anxiety issues we have, that strongly feature in the family, that they feel could be related. My son also has autism… and my father was wondering if it could be related. I’m inclined to think not, you have a lot of anxiety and autism around these days and these things were fairly common back then. Anyway, I saw a Reddit answer that said genetic issues from cousin marriages disappear after one generation, provided there aren’t more cousin marriages. Is there anyone here that can say or direct us to an article?
Is this a legitimate resource: SSDI Calculator Disability Advice
I have a list of resources for autistic adults on my personal blog. I received an email from disabilityadvice.org about their SSDI calculator, that they'd like me to add to my resource list. Is this a legitimate resource? I don't know how to check.
If it's something that would be useful to autistic adults, I'll add it, but I'm not sure if it fits in my page?
Old bat, new cave
I'm nearly 60, mostly retired and fairly idle. I'm contemplating entering a fulltime academic program that will take five years to complete. Have you, a fellow Old, done anything similar? How did it go? [more inside]
What do disabled people want in architecture and landscape?
This question is more .. meta than my previous questions on design for the disabled, and partly arose from reading a lot about designing for the blind and low-vision, especially outdoor spaces.
I want to know about the good landscape and building experiences that disabled people on Metafilter have, versus what society, 'helpful' family, and planning codes say is good or sufficient. [more inside]
Autism symptoms in women
Someone in a previous post suggested I might have autism. I'm starting to feel I might and wondering how it presents in women from people who have lived experience? [more inside]
Looking for a simple portable typing device
I'm looking for a device for my son to use to communicate. He has (mostly) non-verbal autism but can and will type full words to communicate with a large vocabulary. If we're out and about I can give him my phone with a notes app to write what he wants but that isn't always convenient so I'm looking for an alternate solution. [more inside]
Coming out as autistic to a neurodivergence denying parent
I think the least bad option may be to come out as autistic to a parent. I'm not looking forward to it - I wondered if anyone had any tips, advice or strategies for this? [more inside]
Is adult occupational therapy a good idea?
I'm realizing that when I'm not self medicating with weed and avoiding people, I have a lot of nervous stims and am not as sensorially resilient as I like to think, and that I avoid situations where I know I'll feel bad about my poor audio processing. I went through 90s era early intervention ot as a child and it was a bit traumatic. Do any of you have e first person experiences? Am I likely to retraumatize myself? [more inside]
How to start dating as my whole self, or move on
I have an awkward fetish and attraction to a specific bodytype. Being trans, autistic, depressed, and entering middle age, how can I find the courage to try to date within the fetish if it's wise, and what's a realistic timescale for getting to the point I'm that well? If it's just too late and I blew my youth on a life that's not aligned with what works for me, how do I grieve and adapt? [more inside]
MeRT safety?
My son is 4 years old and has been in various kinds of therapies for 2 solid years, as well as attending preschool with an aide. He is still nonverbal and has made noticeable but minimal progress in most areas (communication, toileting, engaging with peers, etc.) I have recently heard of MeRT and gotten interested in it, and there's a clinic in my city... [more inside]
Being photographed while autistic
Anyone else, especially other autistic people got any tips for handling being photographed in everyday situations and managing to present well? [more inside]
Is it possible to reset - or even calm down - one's nervous system?
I want to understand what kind of toolkit I can create to help me take better care of my nervous system after trauma and a lay person's guide to understanding the science and how to feel better. [more inside]
How do I get doctors to stop accusing me of lying?
On the few occasions I manage to force myself to see them, doctors accuse me of lying about my sexual history. Why does this happen, and how do I stop it? [more inside]
late diagnosed autistics: (when) do you disclose?
I’m curious how you approach disclosure and in what arenas (work, social, other). Do you do so case by case, by a hard and fast algorithm, other? I’m open to a bunch of perspectives including early diagnosed, other invisible neurotypes/disabilities and even second hand (ex. you have an autistic partner or close friend and want to share what works for them, etc). Open to both autism as a neurotype, and as a disability, schools of thought. [more inside]
Trying to stay engaged with life
For an adult on the autism spectrum, with 90s childhood autism trauma and andhedonia, I should be very happy. I am a software engineer. That's what my mom and therapists thought was the best possible outcome.
However, I find myself really disconnected from life and I don't take any of my problems seriously anymore or think about a future much. How can I value my life and my future like I used to? Can I, even? [more inside]
I am neurodivergent and want to get out the vote, but...
I'm part of a big online group of women working to get out the vote but they are heavily into "relational organizing" and I feel excluded, triggered, and that anything other than "talking to your PTA friends, church friends, and sorority sisters" (of which I have none) and door-knocking in your neighborhood (hello social anxiety) are the proverbial AuDHD Not Enough. [more inside]
Pretend you're a six year old. What is tomorrow?
Every day my daughter (six) asks me when tomorrow is. Every day I say "after we sleep". There is some premise underlying how 'tomorrow' works that she has wrong. What is it? [more inside]
Worried I'm too strange for romantic fulfillment, scared of how to cope
I've been putting the work in at therapy. I've accepted I have a fetish despite having a so, so much shame around it, and probably also some CPTSD from being raised as a borderline gifted autistic child with a higher needs sibling. I'm depressed and struggling to take care of myself after the pandemic, despite being a white collar professional who's superficially successful.
I'm also 35, trans, and isolated. The NSFW details inside. CW for dark mental health stuff, discussions about sex and verbal abuse, trans anxieties that might make other trans people anxious [more inside]
from one neurodivergent family member to another
A kid in my family is deeply struggling with their neurodivergence. How can I, a fellow neurodivergent family member, best support them? [more inside]
Telling a 6 year old about an autism assessment
We're taking our six year old for an autism assessment. I want them to feel positive about it, and themselves. I've found advice online for how to tell them about a diagnosis, but nothing about the assessment. Any advice would be appreciated! [more inside]
The fully mobile Autistic young person and aging
I've been asked to design a large garden space to include a young person (twelve-ish, female) who is a high-functioning, able bodied autist (they have a formal autism diagnosis). [more inside]
Brief resource about sensory processing disorder?
I have a sensory processing disorder. I don’t have good aural and visual “filters”. Do you know of a good resource that I might give HR or possibly any others to briefly explain this disorder? I am thinking of one page or less. Ideally, the resource wouldn’t be focused on autism, but I am open.
I'm Basically My Friend's Only Friend, Feels Codependent. Advice?
My friend recently moved from City A to City B, and I haven't been to her new place. I steer clear of City B due mainly to crime and traffic, and have been clear with her about this before she even considered moving there. She told me last night that I'm basically her only friend at this point, and feels neglected because I haven't been able to meet up since starting my new (exhausting and busy) job. She works a few hours per week. I'm not interested in being someone's sole support system when they're capable of forming other relationships but are choosing not to. I feel this is an unhealthy dynamic, and am seeking advice in how to manage the situation. [more inside]
How do I work on being less casually dismissive in conversation?
I’d love practical tips for noticing this when it happens more often and ways to reframe my responses to be more kind and open to what the other person is saying. [more inside]
What are the advantages of learning disorders?
After a workshop on helping your child with executive function, and going through a very depressingly long list of all the deficits associated with dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADH, autism, and the rest of the alphabet of neurodivergence - I want to know what are the benefits? Searching for this gives vague 'creativity! diversity' answers.
Therapist for neurodivergent academic task/schedule management?
I need help finding an online therapist familiar with neurodivergent adult women (ADHD, autism) + able to help with task/schedule management for the particular weird demands of my job (university professor; choice of tasks largely self-directed). Seeking links to specific therapists, or directories only focused on these areas (not things like broad directories that offer filters for “autism” and “ADHD”). [more inside]
How to stop hating myself and feeling inferior without a degree?
I don't have a university degree. All I have for an education is a high school diploma, a CDL, and a one-year college diploma from a career college. My therapist says I put too much emphasis and importance on a degree for my self-esteem, but I don't know how not to. [Mod edit: Content warning for R-word / slur used multiple times, in context from one who suffered from this language] [more inside]
Who runs her life when we're dead?
Our autistic daughter is almost 20. She can take care of herself but has no concept of money. Who looks out for her when we're dead? [more inside]
Sudden retirement on a budget. What now?
Both my Dr and my therapist are supporting me in my claim for Disability Pension (Australia). In the interim, I'm receiving Jobseeker without obligation to seek work or volunteer. I was going great guns in my career when a series of unfortunate events disabled me. Now I have time on my hands but significant barriers to activities. How do I plan out my days, months, years for a fulfilling retirement? [more inside]
How to be less autistic, more likeable to succeed socially and in life?
I want to be included. I want to have friends. I want to feel like I matter. I want to succeed in life. But people don’t like me, and I don’t know how to overcome this. [more inside]
Dealing with a defensive ASD boyfriend
I made this post recently about negotiating relationship status with the man I'm dating who has ASD and you gave great advice. Today we had a conflict and I felt like he was really defensive right away (not the first time)--those conversations make me feel crazy, and I know they're no fun for him too. Those of you familiar with ASD dating (from either end), can you help me retool these conversations? [more inside]
Resources for helping a cis straight man understand perimenopause?
I am the person who is partnered with this guy. We've been together for more than a decade, but now I am perimenopausing. My periods are longer and more exhausting. My energy levels are low. My mental reserves got punched through with Long Covid. I am not the person he once knew, and he's annoyed with me. On paper, he's not wrong, but in the grand scheme of a lifetime, this is a phase that seems like it will be utterly annoying but temporary. [more inside]
Anarchism or anticapitalistic mindfulness for kids?
My autistic+PDAer+anxious kid is hyperfixated on money these days. Monopoly money won't do; it has to be real money. He is not interested in spending it, just on acquiring and growing large amounts. This impossible craving causes a lot of dysregulation. [more inside]
Relationship convos with ASD Man
I (40's F) have been alternating friends/dating C (40's M) who has ASD for a few years now. We get along really well, make each other laugh, have great chemistry and a wonderful rapport--until we try to talk about our relationship. I want that to improve. If you've been through this, what helped? And are there any good books, podcasts, etc? [more inside]
Coaching/Counseling for PDA profile Autistic Young Adult
My 18 year old son is working on activities of daily living. He wants to become more self sufficient with the goal of being able to attend college. He is PDA profile Autistic and struggles to remember to do tasks as well as struggles to do them completely. He is looking for trying to find traction making progress and troubleshooting the activities and coaching / counseling. [more inside]
What can I get that isn't a puzzle to say yo, autism
I have some subtle LGBTQ pins and charms that I wear which go under the radar for most people but have been ways to connect with people at my somewhat conservative workplace and church who recognise them. I'd like to add something as a patch/bracelet/pin that says 'yo, autism and more!' on the same line so what's the current go-to? The rainbow infinity is a bit - loud for me.
Autism, OCD, or spirited pre-schooler
Have you had experience with or can you recommend reputable resources to learn more about autism and OCD? When can a child be described instead as spirited? How can parents best advocate for their child when navigating evaluation and diagnosis for the first time? Especially when this is the eldest (i.e. parents do not have experience with the neurotypical behavior for the age to serve as a guidepost). [more inside]
Daughter with autism—what now?
My super cool, but struggling, 9 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with autism. After long grappling with her needs with too little support, we think we have the right team to help her and us. I hoped to get input from other parents on resources you’ve found helpful after getting your child’s diagnosis—particularly for a girl and maybe on the mild end of the spectrum. [more inside]
Help me set up my minority kid for a happy preschool year
My four year old daughter didn’t have a good experience of her first year of preschool. She’s a bit quirky and may have high functioning ASD. She’s also the only non white kid in the class. We are moving to a new school this September and I want to set her up for success. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
writing on maintaining self-esteem with invisible challenges
I struggle with living life in my second language and probably have ADHD and autism on top of that. The result is that I present with a variable level of social, linguistic, and intellectual functioning. One day I might be near-fluent and outgoing, the next I might struggle to even follow basic directions or make eye contact when speaking. This is really tough on me, since I also have all the baggage of the the typical gifted kid who based their entire self-worth on academics and then crashed and burned in college. I'm looking for writing by people with similar "invisible" challenges to help me to find a way to reframe my self-image to view myself as a person of worth despite the facts that (1) I really am painfully, visibly below average in social situations, absorbing verbal information and basic daily-living tasks and (2) since I seem 'normal' sometimes, I'm often perceived as moody or lazy even when trying my hardest. [more inside]
Can I hire someone for this? Care Coordinator for Adult with Autism
Can my client hire someone to help coordinate caregivers and programming for her adult child who has autism and cannot live independently? What types of professionals would I be looking for? We are located in the Greater Toronto Area. [more inside]
ISO success stories about autism, ADHD and anxiety
My teenager has diagnoses of ADHD, ASD1 and anxiety. He's often too anxious to go to school, and while he is very smart and expects to live independently as an adult, college, work, etc, it's hard for me to imagine how he gets from here to there. I'm not looking for advice as much as your story: if you really struggled with some or all of these as a teen, and your life is good now, how did that happen? What was helpful in your family or environment? What does your good life look like? [more inside]
how to make positive, supportive conversation
I am noticing (through ongoing therapy, medication, meditation, and more--these types of general, adjacent advice aren't helpful for this question) that friendly conversation skills like responding positively, giving compliments, and offering support do not come naturally to me. When I try, I come off as fake or sarcastic or hinting at god-knows-what. [more inside]
Why do people think autism means being bad at “conceptual thinking”?
I keep on reading that kids on the spectrum “may struggle with math and writing as the subjects become more conceptual in middle school.” A teacher even tried to write this into my kid’s IEP (I deleted it.) There’s no evidence my kid has problems grasping higher order concepts or theories now and I have no reason to think that will be true in the future. Is there something I’m missing?
What mid-life figurative melt-down is this?
I want to know 1. How did you get help with your adhd, autism, depression, anxiety, ocd to help you parent better. Meds? Specific types of therapy? Strategies you came up with or heard about?
2. Also if anyone has filed ADA accommodations at work for these things or for depression and anxiety. Was it helpful?
3. Please throw at me any resources: groups on FB, websites, forums, books etc.. [more inside]
How well-founded or useful are neurodivergent categories?
Before deciding whether to seek formal diagnosis, I’ve been listing my outlier traits, reading up, taking self-assessments online, and looking at diagnosis Venn diagrams like these. That process has led me to skepticism about the diagnoses themselves. How scientifically well-founded are they? [more inside]
What do you do with brittle emotions?
I have had a handful of episodes over the past year in which my emotions feel brittle. I don't know how else to say it. Strained, but I think brittle is closer. This is new. This is different. Without trying to resolve any of the stressors listed below, what new skills, habits or practices can I add to my situation to strengthen my resilience? I am autistic. [more inside]
Questionnaire for family members for adult autism assessment?
My younger sibling has asked me vs our mom to be part of his assessment for autism. I don’t know the answers to questions about developmental milestones so I’d like to surreptitiously pump our mom for info, but I don’t know what to ask. Is there a questionnaire or assessment tool I can find as a guideline? Or, what kinds of questions are parents of adults seeking an assessment for autism asked? [more inside]