272 posts tagged with emotions.
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Leaving a much-loved home. Can you suggest some healing activities?
After a year-long battle with a hostile landlord, we've found a new apartment. We're really happy about that, but the transition is difficult. We'd like to say goodbye to our old place in some meaningful way. [more inside]
How bad does childhood emotional neglect feel when it's not repressed?
I have been treating cptsd with various therapies for a couple of years and feel like I'm slowly coming out of a freeze response. I've always repressed a lot of emotions and now that I'm dissociating less the feelings that are coming up are terrifying. My question is how to deal with the part of me that's convinced things couldn't possibly feel this bad and is either disassociating again or preventing me from taking things slow when I need to? [more inside]
How do you cope after accidentally hurting/killing an animal?
I think I stepped on a toad, which has activated a spiral of self-hatred. I really like amphibians. I've been active with local toad rescue organizations this last year, so I've held a lot of these little guys, and I've fallen in love with them a little bit. I feel terrible now. [more inside]
What is rest actually for?
I have a pretty bad cold, but my responsibilities are making it hard to rest. I feel overwhelmed and guilty when I think of my pets. I feel inadequate and anxious thinking of other care duties like visiting elderly family members or supporting my husband (who is more or less on bed rest because he just had back surgery). Overall, I feel resentful and fragile and very sad. I think it might help me to understand why my body needs so much rest right now. [more inside]
Teaching emotional reslience
How do you teach a child emotional resilience without invalidating their feelings? Trying to help a sensitive tween who cries over a lot of small things, gets easily discouraged and hurt by minor inconveniences or offenses without telling them "it's just not that big a deal" or "just don't let it bother you". How do you be supportive, but at the same time teach them to be stronger in the face of life's (small) challenges?
Source of a paragraph about Plato's views of storytellers
I am looking for the original source of this idea: “In 388 B.C. Plato urged the city fathers of Athens to exile all poets and storytellers. They are a threat to society, he argued. Writers deal with ideas, but not in the open, rational manner of philosophers. Instead, they conceal their ideas inside the seductive emotions of art. Yet felt ideas, as Plato pointed out, are ideas nonetheless. Every effective story sends a charged idea out to us, in effect compelling the idea into us, so that we must believe. In fact, the persuasive power of a story is so great that we may believe its meaning even if we find it morally repellent. Storytellers, Plato insisted, are dangerous people. He was right.” What text is being referred to here? [more inside]
Looking for a child development video I saw on Threads
I saw an awesome video on Sunday of a young child demonstrating emotions. It was on Threads and I didn't save it, and now I want to watch it again. It was from an account I don't follow. Searches within Threads and Instagram (in case it was cross-posted there) haven't turned up anything. Has anyone perhaps seen this video (details below) or have any ideas of how I can search for it? [more inside]
Regulate Regulate
Have you learned to regulate your emotions and your emotional responses to unkind comments or insults? I need help. [more inside]
Help me help a young adult move out!
My niece Amy will be 18 in March and done with high school a couple months later. She lives at home with her parents and two younger siblings. For about a year, she's been wanting to move out. Her parents were against that all along - they think she should stay at home while she's in school, and ideally even for the first couple years of college. I believe this is partly a financial decision: While college itself is free here, they'd have to pay for lodging. However, the situation at home is not ideal. I want to help this young adult get herself into a safe place. [more inside]
How to meaningfully journal?
I’m going through Trying Times at the moment and have been attempting to use journaling as a way of exploring my feelings about what’s going on in my life. However I’m running into the same problems I always run into: how to remember what I need to write about from the day, and how to keep myself on track. Any tips? [more inside]
How do I stay calm during a scary conversation?
It's a conversation with my landlords, who are both kind people in general. They can get pretty fierce though. She gets fiery when she's protecting him, he can get condescending. Conflict scares me quite a bit, and my partner is similar. When we're scared, I get teary and defensive (or contemptuous, but not with these people so far). He gets accusatory and can't stay calm. [more inside]
Practical body language classes
Seeking information on if this is a thing: a mentor (or classroom) type of relationship with the goal of teaching skills such as facial expressions, conveying emotions, confidence in public speaking, identifying body language tics that you may not be aware of. [more inside]
Romantic feelings for friend who gave emotional support, how to go back?
A friend was there for me in the hardest moments around my father's death. It blurred the boundary between friendship and romance, and I developed feelings for her. The romance has no future, but I want to keep the friendship. The feelings are in the way. How do I do this? [more inside]
Alexithymia that seems limited to sexual contexts only
Where can I learn more about alexithymia that is specific to sex? I understand my feelings and triggers generally but have a huge blind spot for sexually oriented things and I want to understand better, and maybe change it, so that my behavior is not becoming unconscious so frequently. [more inside]
How do I deal better with feedback in an online class?
How do I take non-professional artistic feedback less personally? I'm fine with feedback at my job so I don't understand why I get so upset with feedback in a different setting. [more inside]
Repulsed by feeling nostalgic
Wistful music and anything else that induces nostalgia have always made me feel sick. I'm curious why this happens and whether other people also experience it. Assuming that the answer to "Am I the only one who..." is always no, I'd like to know if others have written about this response. I'm also interested to know if other people have a similar response to wistful music even if it's not for the same reason. [more inside]
Ok what's the catch?
How do you deal with pretty intense cherophobia - the sense that feeling happy about something is dangerous because it means bad things will come? Especially when that has been proven true constantly? [more inside]
I'm An Open Book
My boss said my son was guarded, and said I was as well. How can I not hate her? [more inside]
What do you do with brittle emotions?
I have had a handful of episodes over the past year in which my emotions feel brittle. I don't know how else to say it. Strained, but I think brittle is closer. This is new. This is different. Without trying to resolve any of the stressors listed below, what new skills, habits or practices can I add to my situation to strengthen my resilience? I am autistic. [more inside]
Emotional stories with an outsider perspective about acceptance?
I have always felt deeply connected to stories where characters find the place they fit, and forge meaningful connections with others, particularly when one or more of the characters is not "normal."
Any recommendations? [more inside]
What do you want to know about my dog?
I lost my long-time companion, and I want to write about her. I'm thinking of writing a little book over the course of this year, answering one question every week. Can you help add to the list of questions? [more inside]
How can I learn to become more affectionate?
I've been a very guarded and rough person in the past, to the point I didn't like sharing emotional things or being vulnerable in front of people. I had a complicated childhood and many times when I was like that people shamed me or mistreated me. I grew up in a society where machismo was common, and boys/men displaying those feelings was a huge no-no. [more inside]
There was a major life change, but I seem incapable of re-tooling myself
I had a large change in my personal life. [more inside]
what physiological responses create bodily sensations of emotions?
Certain emotions seem to be strongly associated with specific bodily sensations and reactions, for example, burning with anger, butterflies in the stomach, cold feet, blushing. Are there any good guides for non-specialists that provide an overview of the physiological phenomena responsible for these sensations? [more inside]
How did you handle therapy fallout without getting it on everyone?
I'm in therapy, and finding that there's a lot of stuff that we'll talk about in a session which will come up outside that session, and which effects my day-to-day life a great deal.
I'm looking for advice from others who've gone through the same: how did you handle the fallout from therapy sessions outside the therapy room? [more inside]
Where can I source stories from strangers for a project?
How did This American Life find its stories before it was famous? I have a project idea, and I want to source stories from strangers, but not sure where to start. [more inside]
How to look after your emotions as a middle-aged single man dating?
I’m a cishet neurodivergent single man around 40yrs old. After a long period of being single and pretty okay with it, I had a short but wonderful relationship this summer which has rekindled my desire to find a life partner. So I’m dipping my toe back into online dating, and wondering if any other men here can give some advice on how to take care of my emotions in the seemingly-horrific online dating landscape? [more inside]
How can I elicit emotion from someone?
This is someone who goes to art museums, returns and gives an analysis, history, name-drops.
I try to get in a simple 'is there something you liked?'
I am not interested in an analysis, 'well, WHY did you like it?' A lot of us can have difficulty answering that kind of question. It is unfair and can make people feel on the spot.
But reflection, query, exasperation, joy? [more inside]
Anxiety triggered by caring for parents post surgery, how to deal
I'm not used to seeing my parents like this, and I feel myself freezing/freaking out inside, on top of being in a highly anxious place already in my personal life. I don't know how to deal. [more inside]
My ex is a mystery I want to stop trying to solve
I have recently (about a month ago) broken up with my platonic partner (both women, both around 30). I am an anxious person in general (in therapy, on meds). She was and continues to be a... not great communicator, and avoidant. I am happier out of her life than in it, but cannot avoid her entirely, due to being part of the same friend group, and I keep getting drawn back into trying to figure her out like I did when I was in a relationship with her. Help me... not? [more inside]
I don't know how to celebrate
I recently achieved a huge life milestone, one that I worked on for 20+ years, where a lot of people have been congratulating me and telling me I have to celebrate. I don't have any idea what that means and am looking for ways that you celebrate yourself, especially if you grew up in an environment where celebrating achievements was discouraged and where "fun" was not typically on the table. [more inside]
Mood-tracking app for an iPhone?
What's a good mood-tracking app? A friend is looking for one to help them document their emotions as they adjust their medication. They don't want "mindfulness." They just want to look at data: e.g. Tuesday morning I was angry, Tuesday evening I was happy, Wednesday I was tired all day. Must be an iPhone app. No ads; paid is fine.
Emotional sponge all wrung out.
I am a highly sensitive person, having checked all the boxes of the Dr Aron's book. But it's the empath part that's been getting me lately. I have a dear friend I spend lots of time with, but he's slightly depressed and can get crotchety. There are protests going on in my city and in Ottawa, and everyone (my in-person and online friends) seems afraid and angry. I watched the world news for 20min today and spent the next half hour in tears. [more inside]
I would like to not be so worried about being “wrong.”
I have a fear/intense dislike of being or feeling “wrong” or “bad.” I would like to temper this and live more calmly. [more inside]
So Confused and Conflicted. What to do?
My dad has COVID. He's in the hospital right now. I also have it.
We both got it from my unvaxxed brother. I'm so pissed at him. But I don't know what to do with all of the feelings. My brother was really upset, actually crying, last night. I don't want to make him feel worse than he does. [more inside]
Help me help my wife.
How do I reassure my wife that her health isn't making other people angry or resentful? [more inside]
Let it go, let it go... Resources speaking of detachment as a strength
I am interested in articles, blogs, etc that talk about the value of emotional detachment as an affirming, healthy endeavor rather than an unhealthy coping mechanism. The target audience for these writings is more likely to be people that feel too much who want to move the needle closer to the middle, versus people who are already detached singing the praises of stuff that comes naturally to them. [more inside]
Easily Upset, Angered, with Emotional Responses; What Therapy?
I react emotionally to things. Most humans do, but my emotions overtake me too easily when dealing with negative feelings. I would like to understand the therapeutic treatment approach(es) I ought to be exploring and considering to improve this side of myself. Details below. [more inside]
Navigating honesty and neediness in relationships
So, I am kind of stumped: How can I be honest about emotions that are (or appear to be?) signs of neediness? [more inside]
Therapy without the therapy
How do you sort out your thoughts/process your feelings/get feedback, without dumping too much on your support network? Waiting list for therapy is currently 3 months long, minimum. [more inside]
How can I handle my intense feelings in a difficult situation?
I have an upcoming surgery on Thursday, just had some kind of viral illness and a COVID scare, and the whole situation has made what was already going to be a very stressful week much worse. I'm having a difficult time handling all of my emotions right now. What can I do to avoid spiraling, make this time more manageable, and make the best of the remaining time I have? [more inside]
Is this what jazz feels like?
Figuring out my own emotions after a scary incident
A and I have been together for the better part of a decade. Recently there was a moment where their temper flared and I was worried about being struck by a chair. It happened over a week ago and I'm still trying to sort out my own feelings on what happened and how to move forward. Any help or advice would be appreciated. [more inside]
How can I best communicate with my wife about our monthly arguments?
1. Is it possible that our regular arguments are in some way influenced by my wife's cycle, or is that just misogynistic and wrong mindset?
2. and details below the fold [more inside]
How to look after my inner child?
I read this article recently about toddler tantrums. Can you recommend anything like this for an adult who has problems regulating their emotions? [more inside]
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, no really
So I started a gofundme for my family and I last weekend. I didn't expect it to blow up but we just got many thousand dollars. This is a life changing amount of money to me.
I'm trying to figure out a few things as this plays out and could use advice. [more inside]
How do I cry more?
My therapist says I'm so anxious I can't access any of my other feelings. But when I do access sad feelings, I find it very difficult to cry, which I think might help me feel some relief from the anxiety (and also frequent anger/frustration I feel). Does anyone have any tips for crying more? And stories of how this has benefitted them? I think there's a little voice in my head that's like 'This is pathetic and embarrassing' and can't let go. [more inside]
What kind of therapy do I want?
I'm a man in his 50's who has trouble perceiving his own emotional state. I should talk to someone about it. What sort of therapist should I be looking for? [more inside]
How to be sad
How do I cope with sadness without trying to avoid it or push it away? [more inside]
depersonalizing constructive job application criticism
I am in the process of applying for non-academic jobs (don't tell my supervisor) because lol the academic job market doesn't really exist anymore. My boyfriend is helping me with applications. Every time he critiques or even gently edits my cover letter or resume, it makes me cry. This is enormously frustrating for me. How do I make it stop?? [more inside]