This story actually starts towards the end of June. It was a grumpy morning for me, I was running late for work, was feeling pretty tired, really just wanted to go back to sleep. I walked into the BART station near my house, absentmindedly ran my Clipper card over the machine, and suddenly noticed that there was a BIG ELEPHANT IN AN OAKLAND A'S JERSEY STANDING IN FRONT OF ME!
This is one of the A's promotions with BART -- they have their mascot Stomper riding around on the trains sometimes, and even better, occasionally you'll catch the street crew in stations giving away free A's tickets and BART tickets! This had happened to one of my coworkers who lives in Oakland a few weeks ago as well, but since I live in San Francisco, which is decidedly Hipster Giants Fan Land, I figured there was no way I'd ever get that lucky. Apparently I was wrong!
You may be wondering, what did I have to do to get free A's tickets?
I had to get my picture taken with Stomper.
That was it. Really. And if you know me at all, you know I LOVE getting my photo with mascots and baseball people, and have been known to chase down mascots in Japan with my friends. Think about this one: first, I don't have to chase down Stomper for a photo. Second, they WANT me to get a photo with Stomper. Third, they're going to give me free tickets to a baseball game for getting my photo with Stomper. Does it get better than that?
Actually, it does, because the tickets they gave me were for the 4th of July game! I'd already been thinking of going on the 3rd or 4th, vaguely in the hope of seeing Bobby, but even so, just to watch baseball on July 4th. And it ALSO gets better because they gave me two $5 BART tickets, which would pay for me to get to the game! And the tickets were for 200-level seats behind the bullpens, not something crappy in the middle of the outfield! How lucky is that?
(The retarded thing is, I swear to god, there were people just saying "no thanks" and walking past the A's crew and going down to the platform. WTF? How do you turn down BART tickets and baseball tickets? San Francisco is dumb. I walked off saying "You guys made my day!" and went to work with a big smile on my face instead of a big frown.)
Anyway, as for the day of the game itself, I went with one of my coworkers who lives in Oakland, and we had a pretty good time. I mentioned that I knew Bobby Valentine from my days in Japan, and hoped to say hi to him, and I even wore my Bobby 2010 t-shirt from the Keep Bobby in Chiba campaign back during the 2009 season when the Lotte front office was stupid and decided to fire him. UNFORTUNATELY, the downside of us having seats in the 200-level for a day game with no batting practice and a crowd-drawing team like the Red Sox was that the ushers and staff were being particularly careful about letting people who didn't have appropriate tickets down to the front of the field, and I made a few attempts to get down to the dugout but completely failed. Here, however, is proof that I really did make the attempt:
And I saw a guy in the stands holding up a "In Bobby V We Trust" sign during the game, too:
Anyway, disappointment about not seeing Bobby aside, and given that I actually root for the A's in general, it was really a pretty good game. Aaron Cook, who's mostly spent his career in the Rockies system, started for the Red Sox, and AJ Griffin, who's barely older than my interns at work, started for the A's.
Because it was the 4th of July, they were theoretically giving out some kind of red, white, and blue A's hats, although we not only were too late to receive one, we didn't even SEE anyone wearing one anywhere. But, they had a whole bunch of pregame ceremonies involving the Marines and various other military things, including a bunch of fighter jets flying over the stadium after the singing of the National Anthem.
And then things got underway. Brandon Moss hit a home run right over the "400" sign in dead center in the 2nd inning to put the A's up 1-0, and then in the 4th, David Ortiz tied things up for the Red Sox by hitting a home run of his own into the corner of the right-field stands, slightly over from the A's mini-ouendan cheering section, making it 1-1.
I haven't really been paying close attention to the MLB like I used to back in the old days, so my brain started to wonder "How many career home runs is that for Big Papi now?" and before I could even look it up on my phone, someone a few rows behind us said "Hey, that was his 400th career home run!"
And sure enough, the A's announcer even called that out the next time Ortiz was up to bat, and there was a stadium-wide round of applause for him:
(Honestly, in a semi-related point, I was kinda shocked to hear what stupid shit Manny Ramirez has been up to since last I lived in the USA -- but at the same time, I'm kinda sad I never got out to a Sacramento River Cats game to see him while he was playing there this year. Apparently he was released a few weeks ago, at his own request.)
The Red Sox did go up 2-1 in the top of the 6th after Ortiz walked, Jarrod Saltalamacchia (who I pointed out as "the most annoying name to stitch on a uniform") reached on a fielding error by Jemile Weeks and Adrian Gonzalez singled in Ortiz.
But the A's tied it up in their half of the 6th when Brandon Moss hit a "double" that was really a sun ball that got lost by 3 guys in left field and just dropped, and then Brandon Inge hit a real double to bring him in ("Inge-sanity!"), and then Coco Crisp hit a triple to right to lead off the bottom of the 7th and was brought in by a single by Jemile Weeks, and that made it 3-2 and the A's won the game. Box score here.
There were a surprising number of people carrying brooms around the stadium:
But well, that's about what you can expect.
Personally, I was glad the game ended by 4pm because it was pretty hot and sunny out there. On the other hand, because BART was running on a Sunday schedule it took forever to get on a train! They actually have police holding up people at the staircase to the station and only let people through in waves, so that the platforms don't become crowded enough to be dangerous. I was surprised, since in Japan, teams would often run extra trains after games to disperse the fans (well, Seibu and Hanshin and teams that owned their own train lines at least. Nevermind...)
Still, it was a good time at the park. If I'm lucky I can try to see Bobby around Labor Day, I guess.
Showing posts with label Red Sox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Red Sox. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Friday, March 28, 2008
Game Report: Red Sox vs. Yomiuri Giants - Burned, baby, burned
I went down to the Tokyo Dome on Sunday night (March 23) to see the Red Sox play against the Giants. It was a pretty bizarre experience, and sort of reminded me of when I tried the Outback restaurant in Shibuya a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, you're eating the steak and potatoes and it tastes like America, but you are still undeniably in Japan, and you can't figure out which half of your brain is rejecting the other. Even with the dudes behind you yelling "LET'S GO RED SOX" and clapping, and the announcers speaking in English, and the plethora of white guys on the field, there's still a message that flashes up for every foul ball and a pleasant Japanese female voice telling you to be careful of foul balls. And there's the drums and cheers coming from the right field stands. But wait, where's the left? Where's the balance?
Anyway, I got there about an hour early and watched some batting/fielding practice. Again, it was just plain surreal. Near me, several Giants were playing catch, such as 19-year-old rookie Hayato Sakamoto, Dark Lord Shinnosuke Abe, and Ogasawara's clean-shaven doppleganger. And further away from me, the second-string Red Sox were taking batting practice. Bobby Kielty's red hair caught my eye immediately; I wasn't aware he was on the Sox, but I'd recognize him anywhere.
Red Sox take batting practice, Giants take fielding practice.
Even the pre-game was a weird mix of normal Japanese game stuff and MLB mixed stuff. There was a flowers presentation for managers Terry Francona and Tatsunori Hara, and the ceremonial first pitch was by former Giants legend and recent HOF inductee Tsuneo Horiuchi. But then there was a big ceremony to introduce all of the lineups, and they played the Star-Spangled Banner, and Kimigayo, neither of which normally happens at games here.
Don't tell anyone, but I ended up cheering for the Giants. I'm a strong believer that there's no such thing as being completely impartial when watching a game, and in this case it seemed like Yomiuri were the underdogs. Also, I have no clue how to cheer for the Red Sox, but at least with the Giants there are nice regimented shouts and claps and all. Have I become brainwashed?
Besides, Tetsuya Utsumi is amazing. He struck out 5 Red Sox batters in a row -- and these aren't chopped liver, either, these were Kevin Youkilis, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Mike Lowell, and JD Drew. All of these guys are star players in their own right, and Utsumi just mowed through them.
Dear Utsumi: I wish you weren't on the Giants and I wasn't morally obliged to hate you. Please switch to another team. You can bring Yoshinobu with you, too.
It wasn't clear the Giants were the underdogs at first, actually. Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield started for the Sox, and he throws slower than even most guys in Japan (he was averaging around 105 km/h), even with the movement. The Red Sox ran themselves out of the top of the 1st (Youkilis ran on Ortiz's strikeout and got caught in a rundown; Pedroia broke for home and Seung-Yeop Lee threw to the plate and got him), and then the Giants got off to a 1-0 lead in the bottom; Nioka was hit by a pitch and Ogasawara walked. Seung-Yeop Lee stretched to hit a pitch he had no right reaching and knocked it into a blooper in shallow center for a single, scoring Nioka.
The Giants got their second run in the 4th inning. Lee led off with a single, and Abe followed it up with another single. Lee should have run to third in the first place but stopped at second, until Drew fumbled the ball in the outfield so Lee ran to third anyway. Terauchi pinch-ran for Abe and stole second; but then with runners at second and third, Tani grounded out to second, Pedroia to Youkilis. Youkilis threw to third base and Lowell tagged out Terauchi for a double play, although Lee scored, so it was 2-0.
The Red Sox were scorelss in those first four innings due to Greisinger pitching the first two and the aforementioned Utsumi pitching the second two. Submariner Yushi Aida came in for the 5th and also got the Red Sox out pretty well.
But then Adrian Burnside came in to pitch the 6th inning for Yomiuri, and the floodgates opened. Youkilis led off with a single (and was pinch-run for by Moss); Ortiz struck out for the third time, but Manny Ramirez also singled (and was pinch-run for by Ellsbury). Mike Lowell walked, for bases loaded (and was pinch-run for by Lowrie). To be fair, during Lowell's at-bat, he hit a high pop fly foul in left field, and only Nioka ran for it -- not Ramirez, not Ogasawara, so it just landed. If that ball had been caught, it would have been huge -- two outs with runners at first and second is a lot better than one out with bases loaded, right?
Naturally, JD Drew came up after that and hit a 115-meter grand slam into the left field bleachers. 4-2.
A grand-slam hitter and three pinch-runners high-fiving at the plate.
The Giants never scored another run in the game, and the Red Sox kept adding to their tally. Jed Lowrie led off the 8th inning with another home run, off Tetsuya Yamaguchi. 5-2. Kielty, who replaced Drew, walked after that, and two batters later Alex Cora grounded to Sakamoto, who made a fantastic play to head off Kielty at second. But even with two outs, Kevin Cash walked, then Dustin Pedroia walked, so it was another bases-loaded situation. Brandon Moss singled, scoring Cora and Cash. 7-2.
The Red Sox added two more runs in the top of the 9th. Kiyoshi Toyoda looked good to start off with two strikeouts, but then Kielty doubled, Crisp tripled, Cora singled, and soon it was 9-2, which is where it would end.
JD Drew was game hero. He seemed sort of confused by that.
The MLBization at the Tokyo Dome was pretty surreal to me. They did a "hidden baseball under the pagoda" trick in one inning, then did the Hot Dog Race in another inning ("Relish noooooo!!") and played That Neil Diamond Song Which Shall Not Be Named in the 8th inning. And despite that the scoreboard was completely in Japanese, the announcements were all in English.
Uhh... what?
Hideki Okajima pitched the 7th inning for the Red Sox, and they played that bizarre Okie-Dokie song for him. Flashes from cameras went off around the stadium with every pitch he threw (it reminded me of being at Ichiro's record-setting game in October 2004, but that's another story). The Giants fans behind me who had been cheering for all the players suddenly reverted to yelling "Okajima!!" instead of "Ohmichi!!" which was pretty weird.
Today was Yomiuri catcher Ken Katoh's 27th birthday. Katoh came into the game to replace Abe in the top of the 5th, but his first at-bat was in the 6th inning, right after Wakefield came out of the game. There was a long pause for the pitching change, so with Katoh standing at the plate, the ouendan trumpet players played "Happy Birthday To You", and half of the stadium sang Happy Birthday to him. I thought that was really nice of them.
Another great moment was the Giabbits showing off how many tricks and stuff they can do, and the Green Monster was just bowing down to them, green with mascot envy. Or something. Later in the game the three mascots danced together to "Gettin' Jiggy With It", which was pretty surreal.
Giabbits and the Green Monster get jiggy with it.
Actually, the most surreal thing might have simply been being at a game where one team had an ouendan and the other didn't.
Or, it might have been when I nearly ran, literally, into Shigetoshi Hasegawa and his posse when I was leaving the stadium (if I was looking where I was going, I would have been more careful to see the group of guards dividing the crowd, but alas, I just wanted to ESCAPE at that point)
Another crazy thing was how they marked the left field wall and the right field wall with signs saying "328 feet". I don't think they usually even have a "100m" sign up there, so that was kind of wacky.
Anyway, man. Utsumi. He's good. So is Hayato Sakamoto. News Zero did a short interview with him, and they showed how he and Masahiro Tanaka used to play youth baseball together. They're apparently the only two 19-year-olds in pro yakyu this year, or something like that. Crazy.
[puts back on her Anti-Giants hat and Ogasawara Doppleganger Repellent]
Shimizu goes west to end the game.
See all of my game pictures here, but keep in mind that the lighting in the Tokyo Dome is AWFUL.
Anyway, I got there about an hour early and watched some batting/fielding practice. Again, it was just plain surreal. Near me, several Giants were playing catch, such as 19-year-old rookie Hayato Sakamoto, Dark Lord Shinnosuke Abe, and Ogasawara's clean-shaven doppleganger. And further away from me, the second-string Red Sox were taking batting practice. Bobby Kielty's red hair caught my eye immediately; I wasn't aware he was on the Sox, but I'd recognize him anywhere.
Red Sox take batting practice, Giants take fielding practice.
Even the pre-game was a weird mix of normal Japanese game stuff and MLB mixed stuff. There was a flowers presentation for managers Terry Francona and Tatsunori Hara, and the ceremonial first pitch was by former Giants legend and recent HOF inductee Tsuneo Horiuchi. But then there was a big ceremony to introduce all of the lineups, and they played the Star-Spangled Banner, and Kimigayo, neither of which normally happens at games here.
Don't tell anyone, but I ended up cheering for the Giants. I'm a strong believer that there's no such thing as being completely impartial when watching a game, and in this case it seemed like Yomiuri were the underdogs. Also, I have no clue how to cheer for the Red Sox, but at least with the Giants there are nice regimented shouts and claps and all. Have I become brainwashed?
Besides, Tetsuya Utsumi is amazing. He struck out 5 Red Sox batters in a row -- and these aren't chopped liver, either, these were Kevin Youkilis, David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Mike Lowell, and JD Drew. All of these guys are star players in their own right, and Utsumi just mowed through them.
Dear Utsumi: I wish you weren't on the Giants and I wasn't morally obliged to hate you. Please switch to another team. You can bring Yoshinobu with you, too.
It wasn't clear the Giants were the underdogs at first, actually. Knuckleballer Tim Wakefield started for the Sox, and he throws slower than even most guys in Japan (he was averaging around 105 km/h), even with the movement. The Red Sox ran themselves out of the top of the 1st (Youkilis ran on Ortiz's strikeout and got caught in a rundown; Pedroia broke for home and Seung-Yeop Lee threw to the plate and got him), and then the Giants got off to a 1-0 lead in the bottom; Nioka was hit by a pitch and Ogasawara walked. Seung-Yeop Lee stretched to hit a pitch he had no right reaching and knocked it into a blooper in shallow center for a single, scoring Nioka.
The Giants got their second run in the 4th inning. Lee led off with a single, and Abe followed it up with another single. Lee should have run to third in the first place but stopped at second, until Drew fumbled the ball in the outfield so Lee ran to third anyway. Terauchi pinch-ran for Abe and stole second; but then with runners at second and third, Tani grounded out to second, Pedroia to Youkilis. Youkilis threw to third base and Lowell tagged out Terauchi for a double play, although Lee scored, so it was 2-0.
The Red Sox were scorelss in those first four innings due to Greisinger pitching the first two and the aforementioned Utsumi pitching the second two. Submariner Yushi Aida came in for the 5th and also got the Red Sox out pretty well.
But then Adrian Burnside came in to pitch the 6th inning for Yomiuri, and the floodgates opened. Youkilis led off with a single (and was pinch-run for by Moss); Ortiz struck out for the third time, but Manny Ramirez also singled (and was pinch-run for by Ellsbury). Mike Lowell walked, for bases loaded (and was pinch-run for by Lowrie). To be fair, during Lowell's at-bat, he hit a high pop fly foul in left field, and only Nioka ran for it -- not Ramirez, not Ogasawara, so it just landed. If that ball had been caught, it would have been huge -- two outs with runners at first and second is a lot better than one out with bases loaded, right?
Naturally, JD Drew came up after that and hit a 115-meter grand slam into the left field bleachers. 4-2.
A grand-slam hitter and three pinch-runners high-fiving at the plate.
The Giants never scored another run in the game, and the Red Sox kept adding to their tally. Jed Lowrie led off the 8th inning with another home run, off Tetsuya Yamaguchi. 5-2. Kielty, who replaced Drew, walked after that, and two batters later Alex Cora grounded to Sakamoto, who made a fantastic play to head off Kielty at second. But even with two outs, Kevin Cash walked, then Dustin Pedroia walked, so it was another bases-loaded situation. Brandon Moss singled, scoring Cora and Cash. 7-2.
The Red Sox added two more runs in the top of the 9th. Kiyoshi Toyoda looked good to start off with two strikeouts, but then Kielty doubled, Crisp tripled, Cora singled, and soon it was 9-2, which is where it would end.
JD Drew was game hero. He seemed sort of confused by that.
The MLBization at the Tokyo Dome was pretty surreal to me. They did a "hidden baseball under the pagoda" trick in one inning, then did the Hot Dog Race in another inning ("Relish noooooo!!") and played That Neil Diamond Song Which Shall Not Be Named in the 8th inning. And despite that the scoreboard was completely in Japanese, the announcements were all in English.
Uhh... what?
Hideki Okajima pitched the 7th inning for the Red Sox, and they played that bizarre Okie-Dokie song for him. Flashes from cameras went off around the stadium with every pitch he threw (it reminded me of being at Ichiro's record-setting game in October 2004, but that's another story). The Giants fans behind me who had been cheering for all the players suddenly reverted to yelling "Okajima!!" instead of "Ohmichi!!" which was pretty weird.
Today was Yomiuri catcher Ken Katoh's 27th birthday. Katoh came into the game to replace Abe in the top of the 5th, but his first at-bat was in the 6th inning, right after Wakefield came out of the game. There was a long pause for the pitching change, so with Katoh standing at the plate, the ouendan trumpet players played "Happy Birthday To You", and half of the stadium sang Happy Birthday to him. I thought that was really nice of them.
Another great moment was the Giabbits showing off how many tricks and stuff they can do, and the Green Monster was just bowing down to them, green with mascot envy. Or something. Later in the game the three mascots danced together to "Gettin' Jiggy With It", which was pretty surreal.
Giabbits and the Green Monster get jiggy with it.
Actually, the most surreal thing might have simply been being at a game where one team had an ouendan and the other didn't.
Or, it might have been when I nearly ran, literally, into Shigetoshi Hasegawa and his posse when I was leaving the stadium (if I was looking where I was going, I would have been more careful to see the group of guards dividing the crowd, but alas, I just wanted to ESCAPE at that point)
Another crazy thing was how they marked the left field wall and the right field wall with signs saying "328 feet". I don't think they usually even have a "100m" sign up there, so that was kind of wacky.
Anyway, man. Utsumi. He's good. So is Hayato Sakamoto. News Zero did a short interview with him, and they showed how he and Masahiro Tanaka used to play youth baseball together. They're apparently the only two 19-year-olds in pro yakyu this year, or something like that. Crazy.
[puts back on her Anti-Giants hat and Ogasawara Doppleganger Repellent]
Shimizu goes west to end the game.
See all of my game pictures here, but keep in mind that the lighting in the Tokyo Dome is AWFUL.
Labels:
Game Reports,
Japanese Baseball,
Nichibei,
Red Sox,
Yomiuri Giants
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Game Report: Mariners vs. Red Sox - Play That Funky Music, Scrappy White Boy
Wow. Was that a crazy game or what?
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
- Willie Bloomquist hit a home run!
- Richie Sexson hit a home run!
- Johjima had an RBI on a hit-by-pitch...
- immediately before Guillen also had an RBI on a walk...
- ...and so did Beltre...
- John Olerud threw out the ceremonial first pitch!
- Brandon Morrow struck out some people
- Sherrill struck out Big Papi
- JJ Putz struck out the other half of the team, including a pinch-hitting Manny Ramirez for the final out of the game
Poor Kason Gabbard. According to Baseball-Reference, Willie Bloomquist has only hit 6 career home runs, and counting Gabbard, 5 were against left-handers.
Two of my friends came and visited with me in the 6th inning, right about when Felix got taken out. We chatted for a while, and then they said "Well, it's tied, and last time we got up and walked around, a Mariner hit a home run, so we're going to go." Two batters later, Richie Sexson hit a home run, which brought the score to 8-6. You see, it's not all my luck, though this game did bring my personal Mariners won-loss record this year to 12-4.
This was also my first time seeing Hideki Okajima pitch since last year's Japan Series, which is where I fell in love with him, so I was psyched about that, and even wore my Fighters cap for the occasion. He gave up a single to Kenji Johjima, and before you ask, I don't think they faced each other much in Japan if ever. (Okajima was in the Central League with the Giants for most of his career before coming to the Fighters in 2006, Johjima was in the Pacific League with the Hawks for most of his career before coming to the Mariners in 2006. Interleague started in 2005, but I'd have to poke around a bit for whether or not they faced each other. If you're curious and don't know already, Johjima has faced Matsuzaka more than any of the other current Japanese major leaguers.)
There was a girl on the bus home who was wearing a Red Sox shirt and going on about some Sox player she used to like. "You know... that one with the beard, and shaggy hair, the caveman one? Damion something?" I didn't punch her, but maybe I should have. It's funny, Red Sox fans were kind of fun a few years ago, but now they mostly get on my nerves.
On the other side of the bus, a guy was singing to his kid "You've been Thunderstruck out, struck out by JJ Putz! ThunderSTRIKE THREE", and stuff like that. It was pretty funny.
As is typical when I can't think of anything to write, I'll just put up a few pictures I took today instead...
It's portrait day in the bullpen, starting with Mr. Hyphenated Aussie, Ryan Rowland-Smith.
Chris Reitsma hangs out in the bullpen too.
Jon Huber always looks like a sad panda.
Felix clears his mind during the anthem.
I'm sorry, Mr. Gabbard, but you just aren't that scary.
C is for Catcher and that's good enough for me.
Hey, I know that guy. Didn't he used to play for the Mariners?
Hey keed, don't you mess with the Big Papi.
Kason and Jason. Varitek is humbly pointing out that Gabbard
may want to actually, you know, throw a strike one of these years.
Jose Lopez makes an awesome diving catch of a Lowell liner.
Hideki Okajima! Yay!
Oh yeah, and Brandon Morrow was rookie of the day.
I had fun taking pictures in the bullpen before the game, hanging out with Bretticus and Etowncoug from LL, showing off the bullpen pub view and stuff like that, but I also missed John Olerud throwing out the first pitch, so that was sad. Olerud's one of my favorite players ever, in case it wasn't obvious from the sappy message I put when I sponsored his baseball-reference page. It's hard to believe he's not even 39 yet, though it feels like he's been gone a while.
On the other hand, it was pretty funny when Brett yelled to Joel Pineiro, "I hope we see you pitch today!"
Seriously, this was a pretty good game to experience, lots of action going on at all times, without an obvious outcome either way, but it's hard for me to add to the box score. I can tell you that I thought it was funny how the seventh inning stretch started at about 9:45pm, when the last games I'd gone to were both over by that point.
Oh yeah, so my next game is going to be on Saturday -- it's trading card night -- if anyone else is going and wants to try to work out some trades in advance, let me know! I never seem to have time to actually make a complete set, sadly.
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
- Willie Bloomquist hit a home run!
- Richie Sexson hit a home run!
- Johjima had an RBI on a hit-by-pitch...
- immediately before Guillen also had an RBI on a walk...
- ...and so did Beltre...
- John Olerud threw out the ceremonial first pitch!
- Brandon Morrow struck out some people
- Sherrill struck out Big Papi
- JJ Putz struck out the other half of the team, including a pinch-hitting Manny Ramirez for the final out of the game
Poor Kason Gabbard. According to Baseball-Reference, Willie Bloomquist has only hit 6 career home runs, and counting Gabbard, 5 were against left-handers.
Two of my friends came and visited with me in the 6th inning, right about when Felix got taken out. We chatted for a while, and then they said "Well, it's tied, and last time we got up and walked around, a Mariner hit a home run, so we're going to go." Two batters later, Richie Sexson hit a home run, which brought the score to 8-6. You see, it's not all my luck, though this game did bring my personal Mariners won-loss record this year to 12-4.
This was also my first time seeing Hideki Okajima pitch since last year's Japan Series, which is where I fell in love with him, so I was psyched about that, and even wore my Fighters cap for the occasion. He gave up a single to Kenji Johjima, and before you ask, I don't think they faced each other much in Japan if ever. (Okajima was in the Central League with the Giants for most of his career before coming to the Fighters in 2006, Johjima was in the Pacific League with the Hawks for most of his career before coming to the Mariners in 2006. Interleague started in 2005, but I'd have to poke around a bit for whether or not they faced each other. If you're curious and don't know already, Johjima has faced Matsuzaka more than any of the other current Japanese major leaguers.)
There was a girl on the bus home who was wearing a Red Sox shirt and going on about some Sox player she used to like. "You know... that one with the beard, and shaggy hair, the caveman one? Damion something?" I didn't punch her, but maybe I should have. It's funny, Red Sox fans were kind of fun a few years ago, but now they mostly get on my nerves.
On the other side of the bus, a guy was singing to his kid "You've been Thunderstruck out, struck out by JJ Putz! ThunderSTRIKE THREE", and stuff like that. It was pretty funny.
As is typical when I can't think of anything to write, I'll just put up a few pictures I took today instead...
It's portrait day in the bullpen, starting with Mr. Hyphenated Aussie, Ryan Rowland-Smith.
Chris Reitsma hangs out in the bullpen too.
Jon Huber always looks like a sad panda.
Felix clears his mind during the anthem.
I'm sorry, Mr. Gabbard, but you just aren't that scary.
C is for Catcher and that's good enough for me.
Hey, I know that guy. Didn't he used to play for the Mariners?
Hey keed, don't you mess with the Big Papi.
Kason and Jason. Varitek is humbly pointing out that Gabbard
may want to actually, you know, throw a strike one of these years.
Jose Lopez makes an awesome diving catch of a Lowell liner.
Hideki Okajima! Yay!
Oh yeah, and Brandon Morrow was rookie of the day.
I had fun taking pictures in the bullpen before the game, hanging out with Bretticus and Etowncoug from LL, showing off the bullpen pub view and stuff like that, but I also missed John Olerud throwing out the first pitch, so that was sad. Olerud's one of my favorite players ever, in case it wasn't obvious from the sappy message I put when I sponsored his baseball-reference page. It's hard to believe he's not even 39 yet, though it feels like he's been gone a while.
On the other hand, it was pretty funny when Brett yelled to Joel Pineiro, "I hope we see you pitch today!"
Seriously, this was a pretty good game to experience, lots of action going on at all times, without an obvious outcome either way, but it's hard for me to add to the box score. I can tell you that I thought it was funny how the seventh inning stretch started at about 9:45pm, when the last games I'd gone to were both over by that point.
Oh yeah, so my next game is going to be on Saturday -- it's trading card night -- if anyone else is going and wants to try to work out some trades in advance, let me know! I never seem to have time to actually make a complete set, sadly.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Felix Hernandez: Stolen Stage King
A few days ago I described violinist Joshua Bell as being the Johan Santana of violin playing. Today, in trying to think of ways to explain Felix Hernandez, I realized that saying he's the Joshua Bell of pitching prodigies would not be that far off a description.
No, really. Did you see the game today?
The whole of Red Sox Nation was gearing up for the first home start from their $101 million acquisition, with various apparel and signs commemorating the occasion, most containing dice, and K's. The Japanese media was awaiting the first at-bat of the game, when Ichiro would dig into the batter's box against Matsuzaka. Thousands of people in Japan were undoubtedly glued to their TV sets for a game that started at 8am Thursday morning on their side of the world.
It was a typically Japanese at-bat, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. After getting off to a quick 0-2 count, Matsuzaka threw a bunch of breaking stuff and eventually ended up in a 3-2 full count before Ichiro hit a one-hopper back to the mound which Matsuzaka fielded easily.
And then thousands of Japanese people undoubtedly shut off their TVs and went back to sleep, or continued on their morning commutes, drifting away from the screens in the subway stations. The excitement was over. Except what they didn't realize was that the real excitement was about to begin.
I'm kidding, mostly. But the zeroes kept piling up in Boston's box, and aside from an awkward Youkilis at-bat where Felix seemed to be aiming at the cameras in the home plate dirt and issued a walk on four straight pitches, he was downright unhittable. Well, almost. Jose Lopez had been beyond amazing in the field, getting groundball after groundball, and finally after Dave Sims had said the words "no-hitter" on the air enough times, JD Drew led off the 8th inning by hitting a grounder that finally got through Jose Lopez for a single.
And that was it. Felix pitched a complete-game one-hit shutout on 111 pitches. The Red Sox batters didn't even make the ball leave the infield until Kevin Youkilis hit a line drive to left field in the 7th inning, which Raul Ibanez managed to make a great catch on.
The only thing that could have really made this game any better would have been if the Mariners had managed to actually score a run off Joel Pineiro, but alas.
The Mariners got 9 hits today. 6 of them were by guys named Jose. 2 were by a guy named Joh. Adrian Beltre hit the other one, and was later seen pretending to be one of the Double Play Twins.
The Red Sox got 1 hit today, and it was by JD Drew, who apparently extended his hitting streak to 12 games by doing so. Phillies fans everywhere were booing in spirit.
It was Jason Varitek's 35th birthday today, which the announcers brought up so often I was thinking it might need to be added to my theoretical Matsuzaka drinking game (for every time you hear the phrases "250 pitches", "Matsuzaka generation", "gyroball", "Matsuzaka-Ichiro showdown", etc).
Jeff, that bastard, was actually at Fenway for the game. He'll undoubtedly have a great recap of the game up tomorrow, assuming he hasn't died of happiness in the meantime. I'll edit that in when it surfaces.
In case you're curious, Nikkan Sports has a whole bunch of Matsuzaka stats in English here, where I confirmed my intuition that of all the Japanese batters in the major leagues likely to face Golden Boy, our Kenji Johjima indeed faced him the most, almost the most recently, and with the most success. (Though to be fair, I was mostly remembering Johjima hitting a huge home run off Matsuzaka in the PL playoffs in 2004 when I'd made that claim.)
Of course, that didn't stop Nikkan Sports, like several other papers, of making a big deal over the "Ichiro-Matsuzaka showdown". Torakichi on the japanesebaseball forums astutely and amusingly pointed out that There Are No Non-Japanese Players in the MLB!, at least as far as the Japanese papers are concerned. Even worse, their coverage is all like "Ichiro didn't get any hits off Matsuzaka! Oh... and by the way, Kenji Johjima happened to be 2-for-3 with a walk, and TWO DOUBLES OFF MATSUZAKA. But who cares?"
Oh, by the way, speaking of double play twins, Munenori Kawasaki broke his finger the other day in practice, and is pretty much going to be out for a month. Currently, the Hawks' middle infield is the confusingly-named Honma and Honda, who are both good-glove-weak-bat infielders who bat left-handed, and that's about where the similarities stop.
No, really. Did you see the game today?
The whole of Red Sox Nation was gearing up for the first home start from their $101 million acquisition, with various apparel and signs commemorating the occasion, most containing dice, and K's. The Japanese media was awaiting the first at-bat of the game, when Ichiro would dig into the batter's box against Matsuzaka. Thousands of people in Japan were undoubtedly glued to their TV sets for a game that started at 8am Thursday morning on their side of the world.
It was a typically Japanese at-bat, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. After getting off to a quick 0-2 count, Matsuzaka threw a bunch of breaking stuff and eventually ended up in a 3-2 full count before Ichiro hit a one-hopper back to the mound which Matsuzaka fielded easily.
And then thousands of Japanese people undoubtedly shut off their TVs and went back to sleep, or continued on their morning commutes, drifting away from the screens in the subway stations. The excitement was over. Except what they didn't realize was that the real excitement was about to begin.
I'm kidding, mostly. But the zeroes kept piling up in Boston's box, and aside from an awkward Youkilis at-bat where Felix seemed to be aiming at the cameras in the home plate dirt and issued a walk on four straight pitches, he was downright unhittable. Well, almost. Jose Lopez had been beyond amazing in the field, getting groundball after groundball, and finally after Dave Sims had said the words "no-hitter" on the air enough times, JD Drew led off the 8th inning by hitting a grounder that finally got through Jose Lopez for a single.
And that was it. Felix pitched a complete-game one-hit shutout on 111 pitches. The Red Sox batters didn't even make the ball leave the infield until Kevin Youkilis hit a line drive to left field in the 7th inning, which Raul Ibanez managed to make a great catch on.
The only thing that could have really made this game any better would have been if the Mariners had managed to actually score a run off Joel Pineiro, but alas.
The Mariners got 9 hits today. 6 of them were by guys named Jose. 2 were by a guy named Joh. Adrian Beltre hit the other one, and was later seen pretending to be one of the Double Play Twins.
The Red Sox got 1 hit today, and it was by JD Drew, who apparently extended his hitting streak to 12 games by doing so. Phillies fans everywhere were booing in spirit.
It was Jason Varitek's 35th birthday today, which the announcers brought up so often I was thinking it might need to be added to my theoretical Matsuzaka drinking game (for every time you hear the phrases "250 pitches", "Matsuzaka generation", "gyroball", "Matsuzaka-Ichiro showdown", etc).
Jeff, that bastard, was actually at Fenway for the game. He'll undoubtedly have a great recap of the game up tomorrow, assuming he hasn't died of happiness in the meantime. I'll edit that in when it surfaces.
In case you're curious, Nikkan Sports has a whole bunch of Matsuzaka stats in English here, where I confirmed my intuition that of all the Japanese batters in the major leagues likely to face Golden Boy, our Kenji Johjima indeed faced him the most, almost the most recently, and with the most success. (Though to be fair, I was mostly remembering Johjima hitting a huge home run off Matsuzaka in the PL playoffs in 2004 when I'd made that claim.)
Of course, that didn't stop Nikkan Sports, like several other papers, of making a big deal over the "Ichiro-Matsuzaka showdown". Torakichi on the japanesebaseball forums astutely and amusingly pointed out that There Are No Non-Japanese Players in the MLB!, at least as far as the Japanese papers are concerned. Even worse, their coverage is all like "Ichiro didn't get any hits off Matsuzaka! Oh... and by the way, Kenji Johjima happened to be 2-for-3 with a walk, and TWO DOUBLES OFF MATSUZAKA. But who cares?"
Oh, by the way, speaking of double play twins, Munenori Kawasaki broke his finger the other day in practice, and is pretty much going to be out for a month. Currently, the Hawks' middle infield is the confusingly-named Honma and Honda, who are both good-glove-weak-bat infielders who bat left-handed, and that's about where the similarities stop.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Okajima Wears Red Socks
It's somewhat surreal, but Red Sox Sign Lefty Okajima is the headline of the afternoon. Contract's for 2 years, $2.5 million according to the AP.
Hideki Okajima, a tall hefty lefty who will be 31 on Christmas, played for most of his career with the Giants, winning two Japan Series with them before being part of the Nippon Ham Fighters team which won this year. He grew up in Kyoto, and went to Higashiyama High, pitching at the spring invitational Koshien tournament in 1992 and 1993. He was drafted as the Giants third-round pick in the 1993-1994 offseason, and went on to pitch well in various roles, shining as both a lefty relief ace and a closer for the Giants. This year he was 2-2 with 4 saves and an ERA of 2.14, striking out 63 in 54.2 innings with a WHIP of 1.09. Lefties hit a miniscule .186 against him, and all of the 5 home runs he gave up were to right-handed batters.
He came to the Fighters in a trade right before the 2006 season, the Fighters sending no-bat catcher Kazunari Sanematsu and journeyman infielder Shigeyuki Furuki to the Giants for him. It's easily one of the best trades the Fighters have ever made. I will always remember Okajima best for moments like this, striking out Kosuke Fukudome in the Japan Series, over and over and over again. Hopefully he will find a suitable new lefty slugger over here to become the bane of. Personally, I suggest Big Jim Fuku-Thome.
The real downside to Okajima's new team being the Red Sox is that there's very little chance of me getting to tell him how awesome I thought he was in the Japan Series, as Sox fans are notorious for filling up Safeco within about five seconds of the gates opening for batting practice, and all the Japanese fans are going to come in to see Matsuzaka, too.
Hideki Okajima, a tall hefty lefty who will be 31 on Christmas, played for most of his career with the Giants, winning two Japan Series with them before being part of the Nippon Ham Fighters team which won this year. He grew up in Kyoto, and went to Higashiyama High, pitching at the spring invitational Koshien tournament in 1992 and 1993. He was drafted as the Giants third-round pick in the 1993-1994 offseason, and went on to pitch well in various roles, shining as both a lefty relief ace and a closer for the Giants. This year he was 2-2 with 4 saves and an ERA of 2.14, striking out 63 in 54.2 innings with a WHIP of 1.09. Lefties hit a miniscule .186 against him, and all of the 5 home runs he gave up were to right-handed batters.
He came to the Fighters in a trade right before the 2006 season, the Fighters sending no-bat catcher Kazunari Sanematsu and journeyman infielder Shigeyuki Furuki to the Giants for him. It's easily one of the best trades the Fighters have ever made. I will always remember Okajima best for moments like this, striking out Kosuke Fukudome in the Japan Series, over and over and over again. Hopefully he will find a suitable new lefty slugger over here to become the bane of. Personally, I suggest Big Jim Fuku-Thome.
The real downside to Okajima's new team being the Red Sox is that there's very little chance of me getting to tell him how awesome I thought he was in the Japan Series, as Sox fans are notorious for filling up Safeco within about five seconds of the gates opening for batting practice, and all the Japanese fans are going to come in to see Matsuzaka, too.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Game Report: Mariners vs. Red Sox - The Wells Fungo Wagon
(This entry is actually about Saturday's game. Mariners 4, Red Sox 3.)
Man, somehow writing about Saturday's game in the wake of Sunday's sweeping finish just feels sort of weird, but it was quite an exciting day and I'll be annoyed with myself if I don't recap it to remember it later. After all, if nothing else, this blog is my journal of the baseball games I've attended this year, and it'd be folly for me to skip chronicling one that I had as much fun at as this one.
I attended this game with my friend Jeff (no, not one of the bloggers), who hasn't been able to make it up here for a game in a while. He couldn't show up for the early season ticket opening, so I left him a ticket in Will Call when I arrived at 3:55pm, and then I got in line for the stadium opening. Surprisingly, the line was pretty long -- I've gotten emails about these "early BP" days before, and just never managed to go to one before, so I had no idea what to expect.
They let us in at 4:05pm, and the first thing they did was give us stuff. One table had people giving out Mariner mints and Oberto beef jerky, another was giving out bottled water and sodas, and there was a raffle form you could fill out to win various prizes like an Ichiro jersey or a Mariners Gift Pack or an autographed baseball or whatnot. After all that stuff, we walked past a brass band and down to the field.
The team was doing some sort of pre-BP warmups when I got there, tossing around a baseball like a hackeysack and just running around and goofing off and such. Then, some players came over to the stands and signed stuff! I brought a "GO MARINERS!" placard that I'd gotten at a game back in 2004 that seemed like it'd be cool to have signed, and I ran down to the field. I was just far enough that the closest I could get to the field was down by the tarp, so I missed the position players, but most of the bullpen was dealing with our part of the line. Cha Seung Baek was the first to come by and I got him to sign the poster; he was actually fairly slow and JJ Putz was like "Cmon, man, you're holding up the line!" to him, so I was like "wait, JJ, please sign this?" and he did, and I really don't remember the order the rest of the guys were in, but I got Sherrill, Woods, and Green after that, and I did call each of them by name and thank them for signing, plus the obligatory "You pitched a great game yesterday, Jake!" to Woods.
(If you didn't see the picture in yesterday's entry, here's what the poster looks like)
I vastly impressed these two 10-year-old-or-so boys who were standing next to me getting stuff signed -- after that, they kept asking me who everybody was out on the field. "Do you see Johjima?" "He's over there." "How about Richie, is that Richie?" "No, that's Sean Green. Richie's over by the fence." "Who's the guy throwing the ball to Johjima?" "That's Chris Snelling. He's awesome. Keep your eye on him." "Who's the tall guy with no hair?" "That's Dominic Woody, he's the bullpen catcher." "How about the Japanese guy standing over there?" "That's Cha Seung Baek. He's Korean." "Oh... err..."
The Mariner Moose came around signing stuff to keep kids happy after the players ran off. I thought it'd be pretty funny to get that one on my poster too, so I did. Oddly, the Moose was left-handed on Saturday. Does that make him a southpaw?
I took a whole bunch of pictures of the guys just tossing baseballs around and hanging out and all, except that I was at a really bad angle for sunlight, and as a result a lot of the shots of their faces have half the face in shade due to the tops of the caps, and I haven't figured out if there's a good way to compensate for backlighting with this camera yet. On the other hand, I did get a few good shots, and they're all up on the picture page. As I said, my favorite one is probably this one of Doyle. He's such a cutie.
I went down by the third base line and sat down by the field, since there was nobody there, and just watched people take BP, and shot a bazillion pictures, most of which were of Doyle, and most of which didn't come out well due to the aforementioned backlighting. I didn't have the timing or the location right to get a baseball, sadly -- there was a ball that was on the grass in front of me, and I asked one of the security guys if he could give it to me, but he said he wasn't allowed, though he could kick a ball towards me if it landed on the outer track. A groundskeeper walked by and picked up the ball and threw it to a little kid, and the guard was like, "Tough luck! If only you were five years old, eh?" I watched the ushers put the plastic bags into the seats in the first couple rows, too -- somehow it had never occurred to me that someone had to actually go out and do that before every game. I offered to help, and fortunately, they thought I was kidding.
At 5:05, they opened the normal gates, and within literally two minutes the entire empty section I had was filled with Red Sox fans, so I decided to leave. I went back to the first base side, stood with a bunch of Mariners fans who hadn't moved in an hour, and watched the rest of BP. A lot of them were serious autograph collectors and had a ton of stuff signed that they were showing me; one lady showed me her 2006 team photo with signatures from almost everyone, including Carl Everett. When Snelling was running by to go take BP, a girl in front of me yelled "CHRIS!!!" and got no reaction, so I yelled "SNELLING!!!" and no reaction, and so I yelled "DOYLE!!!!" and he looked over and waved, but didn't come over. Alas. Jose Lopez did come over to the stands a bit later but not near us, and then as the team was running off the field, me and another girl yelled "ERIC!!!" at Eric O'Flaherty, and he grinned and came over to the stands and signed stuff and posed for pictures and all. He seems like a really nice guy.
Hargrove was signing stuff on the dugout, but I decided I didn't really care, took a few more pictures of the Red Sox guys warming up, and then I went down to the team store to try on jerseys. See, we got a coupon to double our STH discount for just that day, so I figured if I was going to get one, I should probably use the discount. I tried on some replica jerseys and they fit okay, but then I was faced with a quandary of which one to get, so I figured I'd come back later. The store was already mobbed even though it was pre-game.
Came back up to the field and the Sox were already done their BP and warmups, which meant the Sox fans were also dispersing. Good riddance. I ate a hot dog and went down to the seat I'm now calling "Warmup Point", because it's the best spot ever to watch/film the opposing pitchers getting their arms loose on the field. It's one of those two seats in the front of Section 151 down by the mechanical scoreboard, and it's never occupied at 6:35pm. This is where I got Randy on Thursday, and Cupcakes and Jae Seo a few weeks ago, and some others I haven't posted. Anyway, David Wells is quite large, which makes my auto-focus work pretty well. He also tends to look upwards while he's throwing, so it wasn't hard to get shots like this one where he's actually smiling.
Unfortunately, the bullpen area was just horrendously crowded, and I couldn't even get a decent hole from the tavern to aim a lens through. I ran over to the Mariners' side of the pen, which was slightly less crowded, but that's like saying Joe Blanton is slightly less huge than David Wells. I wasn't even able to get up against the fence, but somehow I managed a few shots like this anyway, and I have no idea how that came out so well. I've got to learn more about focal length, I think.
I know better than to get trapped in the bullpen during the anthem during a crowded-as-hell game, so I bolted pretty quickly and ran upstairs as fast as I could, and despite my best crowd maneuvering tactics -- which are really quite impressive, just ask some of my friends -- I barely got into my seat in time for the first pitch. Jeff had arrived a few minutes before me, and we had a brief conversation about whether it's better to have a sucky team and an empty stadium or a great team and a full stadium. Honestly, I wish there was some sort of happy medium where the team could be great but the stadium wouldn't be so crowded that I want to punch people. Or at least where the fans would actually know where the hell they were going, rather than this being the one game per year they attend because they saw the Red Sox on TV a few years ago, so they're all just milling around, blocking traffic, trying to figure out where they can buy a big styrofoam finger to wave in the air in front of people who are actually trying to watch the game like myself.
Um, anyway. This may be the most text I've ever written before actually talking about the game that went on.
Gil Meche was fantastic for the first few innings. Infact, he had FIVE STRIKEOUTS AFTER TWO INNINGS. No, I'm not making that up. We were just watching in shock as he kept sending guys back down to the bench. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep that up, and started running into trouble in the third, as Beltre and Lopez both made fantastic plays to save his ass, before Coco Crisp hit one of those home runs that barely cleared the fence to bring the score to 1-0.
After a Spelling Bee segment featuring Ben "Bershard", Gabe Kapler had some trouble tracking an Adrian Beltre hit into the rightcenter gap which turned into a double, and Ibanez singled him home, 1-1. Ibanez also advanced to second on Richie Sexson's pop to center field, which was astounding, given how slowly he appeared to be moving.
Meche really started struggling in the 5th -- I remember thinking how his line for the day was going to belie little details like this -- at that point the 0 walks and 6 strikeouts were going to look pretty good, but he started really getting behind the count on some players and was obviously having some trouble. With two outs, Kapler hit a single up the middle, and again behind the count, he walked Crisp. Loretta hit a fly ball to shallowish center, and Ichiro ran in for it, got his glove on the ball, but it popped out, scoring Kapler and almost scoring Crisp. I almost started to write that down as an E-8, then remembered that most guys wouldn't even GET their glove on the ball, let alone drop it, and marked it down correctly as an RBI single. 2-1.
Betancourt hit a triple in the bottom half of the 5th, and given how much trouble Kapler and Crisp were having fielding it, and how fast Betancourt was running, we almost thought it might be an inside-the-park home run, and stood up to watch, but alas. As is typical these days, with a guy on third and one out, Bohn struck out and Ichiro grounded out. Alas, part 2.
Meche lucked out of the 6th and 7th innings with 19 pitches and a bunch of grounders, including a goddamn nice play by Betancourt where he zoomed like a laser to the middle, grabbed the ball and spun and threw it to first in time to get Kapler. (Something I should point out is that I have several plays on my scorecard denoted with one or more exclamation points for Mariners defensive plays, and none for the Red Sox.) Unfortunately, the Mariners couldn't score enough runs for Meche in their half of the seventh, though they put forth a decent effort. I'd told Jeff about my indecision over buying a jersey, and said, "If Johjima hits a home run right now, I'm buying a Johjima jersey." Johjima grounded out to first, and then Yuniesky Betancourt stepped up to the plate and hit a home run right over the mechanical scoreboard. 2-2.
(Incidentally, Jeff ended up buying a Betancourt number t-shirt later on, to replace his Moyer one. I thought that was particularly fitting, since Betancourt's picture has replaced Moyer's on the 1st Avenue player pictures. But I digress.)
With everyone all excited over Betancourt's home run, somehow I knew TJ Bohn was going to do something besides strike out, and he hit the ball to left for his first major league hit. And I even got a picture of the swing. That was neat. Ichiro singled!... and then Jose Lopez grounded out. No soup for Meche.
The top of the 8th inning was retarded. Rafael Soriano came out and retired Coco Crisp and Mark Loretta. George Sherrill was brought in to face David Ortiz, which makes sense, and the defense went into a major shift, which also kind of makes sense, except then Ortiz tried to bunt the ball down the third-base line, which also makes sense, and was pretty funny. So once you know that the guy's going to be doing his damnedest to defeat your shift, what happens? He hits the ball into the left field corner for a double, which probably would have been gotten by Beltre in his normal position, or run down faster by Ibanez for a single. If Ortiz was actually fast, that may have ended up being a triple anyway, but there are definitely some downsides of being huge and powerful, and speed is one of them. Manny Ramirez was intentionally walked, and then JJ Putz was summoned to take care of Mike Lowell. I labelled the mound conference "Goddamnit" for a reason -- it felt like they'd basically just handed the game loss to Sherrill.
And for a minute, it almost worked out like that. Lowell hit the ball to shallow left field, which scored Ortiz, but Betancourt recovered the ball and threw it to third way ahead of Manny, and from my vantage point it appeared that Beltre tagged Manny on the head, then the ball popped out of his glove, but he caught it with his other hand, and Manny was out, but the run scored. 3-2. I haven't gotten to see what it looked like from another angle.
The Red Sox brought out Mike Timlin to pitch, at which point Jeff said something like "Wow! Mike Timlin! I remember when he pitched for us! Boy, did he suck!" and then PositivePaul called me, mostly so we could commisserate over George's fate, and then... and then Adrian Beltre hit a home run to RIGHT FIELD, and I couldn't hear the phone, because everyone was cheering too loud, and I also didn't get a picture, because I was holding the phone. (Jeff said that he had been debating snatching the camera from me and taking a picture since he just knew Beltre was going to hit a homer.) Ibanez, whose cheering section was out in full and had a lot to cheer for as their hero went 3-for-4, singled again to left, and Richie also singled, and I had to hang up with Paul because I couldn't hear a damn thing he was saying. Ben "Bershard" came in next and hit one of those "It's too high!" "How can it be too high?" fly balls to center field, and Ibanez tagged up and scored, this time at a speed that didn't make me worry that the time-space continuum was in jeopardy. Johjima and Betancourt both popped out to right after that, but the Mariners were winning 4-3, and that's all that mattered, as JJ Putz came out and STRUCK OUT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SIDE in the top of the 9th, and I even got a kind of cool picture of Hinske whiffing. Yeeeeeehaw.
Paul and his brother-in-law Dave had been sitting only two sections over from us, so Jeff and I went and found them afterwards and hung out chatting for a while. We all tromped down to the team store where I tried to convince Paul to spend $300 on a game-used Sherrill jersey, and he tried to convince me to spend $300 on a game-used Snelling jersey, and Dave was telling us how he wanted to get a game-used Jon Lester ball, and then all three of them convinced me to just go ahead and use my season-ticket-holder-special-doubled-discount to buy a jersey so I have a nice Mariners shirt to wear in Japan (I've got a bunch of number t-shirts, but no jerseys). Unfortunately, the "real" jerseys actually didn't fit me at all -- they were all too long, and all either too baggy or wouldn't button across my chest/hips, which isn't too weird, I guess, given the shape of baseball players. So I tried on the replica jersey again, and it fit perfectly! I ended up getting the Johjima one, so my conversations this time around will be more like "Oh, you from Seattle? You see Johjima?"
As I discovered at Fan Fest, Dave knows pretty much 90% of the staff of Safeco Field, and the team store is no exception. This time he had a friend working there who was explaining to us why there's a Rivera #30 t-shirt available, but not a Snelling or Sherrill or any of the other "second-class" players. Apparently Rivera kept asking them where his shirt was, and they were too nice to say something like "Well, you're not good enough to have one," so they'd tell him they were all out, and finally they decided to just go ahead and make one for him, ordering the smallest quantity possible. He was delighted as all hell, apparently buying like 25 of them to give to his friends, and running around in the clubhouse showing off the shirt to Jose and Felix and all. So, if you want a Rivera #30 t-shirt, you better get one quick, because they're not going to last long!
(I did tell the guy that if they made up a Snelling #32 t-shirt, even if they only printed a hundred of them, I had no doubt in my mind that they'd sell out within a few weeks once DMZ got word of their existence... but, it sounds like they're holding off on Snelling shirts until they're sure he'll be sticking around. Putz, on the other hand, is likely to have a shirt for sure next year, and Sherrill isn't entirely out of the question either. The store guy told us a funny story about how Sherrill and his girlfriend apparently came in and were shopping in the team store after a game once, even with fans around, and absolutely nobody recognized him. That's hilarious, though somewhat unsurprising.)
Jeff and I walked halfway across SoDo to get back to his car and he gave me a ride home. Since he's moving away in a month, it'll probably be a long time before we go to another game together, unless we manage one at the end of September. It's funny, but Jeff is somewhat responsible for this blog's existence in the first place, as he went with me to the USSM feed two years ago where Dave Cameron inspired me to start blogging in the first place, and he even took me to my first King Felix game in Tacoma at the start of the 2005 season. Good times. Despite that I know he's never going to return my copy of Ball Four, it'll be a shame to lose a good baseball buddy.
And, whew, that was a long entry to type out, and I don't blame anyone for not really reading it.
Man, somehow writing about Saturday's game in the wake of Sunday's sweeping finish just feels sort of weird, but it was quite an exciting day and I'll be annoyed with myself if I don't recap it to remember it later. After all, if nothing else, this blog is my journal of the baseball games I've attended this year, and it'd be folly for me to skip chronicling one that I had as much fun at as this one.
I attended this game with my friend Jeff (no, not one of the bloggers), who hasn't been able to make it up here for a game in a while. He couldn't show up for the early season ticket opening, so I left him a ticket in Will Call when I arrived at 3:55pm, and then I got in line for the stadium opening. Surprisingly, the line was pretty long -- I've gotten emails about these "early BP" days before, and just never managed to go to one before, so I had no idea what to expect.
They let us in at 4:05pm, and the first thing they did was give us stuff. One table had people giving out Mariner mints and Oberto beef jerky, another was giving out bottled water and sodas, and there was a raffle form you could fill out to win various prizes like an Ichiro jersey or a Mariners Gift Pack or an autographed baseball or whatnot. After all that stuff, we walked past a brass band and down to the field.
The team was doing some sort of pre-BP warmups when I got there, tossing around a baseball like a hackeysack and just running around and goofing off and such. Then, some players came over to the stands and signed stuff! I brought a "GO MARINERS!" placard that I'd gotten at a game back in 2004 that seemed like it'd be cool to have signed, and I ran down to the field. I was just far enough that the closest I could get to the field was down by the tarp, so I missed the position players, but most of the bullpen was dealing with our part of the line. Cha Seung Baek was the first to come by and I got him to sign the poster; he was actually fairly slow and JJ Putz was like "Cmon, man, you're holding up the line!" to him, so I was like "wait, JJ, please sign this?" and he did, and I really don't remember the order the rest of the guys were in, but I got Sherrill, Woods, and Green after that, and I did call each of them by name and thank them for signing, plus the obligatory "You pitched a great game yesterday, Jake!" to Woods.
(If you didn't see the picture in yesterday's entry, here's what the poster looks like)
I vastly impressed these two 10-year-old-or-so boys who were standing next to me getting stuff signed -- after that, they kept asking me who everybody was out on the field. "Do you see Johjima?" "He's over there." "How about Richie, is that Richie?" "No, that's Sean Green. Richie's over by the fence." "Who's the guy throwing the ball to Johjima?" "That's Chris Snelling. He's awesome. Keep your eye on him." "Who's the tall guy with no hair?" "That's Dominic Woody, he's the bullpen catcher." "How about the Japanese guy standing over there?" "That's Cha Seung Baek. He's Korean." "Oh... err..."
The Mariner Moose came around signing stuff to keep kids happy after the players ran off. I thought it'd be pretty funny to get that one on my poster too, so I did. Oddly, the Moose was left-handed on Saturday. Does that make him a southpaw?
I took a whole bunch of pictures of the guys just tossing baseballs around and hanging out and all, except that I was at a really bad angle for sunlight, and as a result a lot of the shots of their faces have half the face in shade due to the tops of the caps, and I haven't figured out if there's a good way to compensate for backlighting with this camera yet. On the other hand, I did get a few good shots, and they're all up on the picture page. As I said, my favorite one is probably this one of Doyle. He's such a cutie.
I went down by the third base line and sat down by the field, since there was nobody there, and just watched people take BP, and shot a bazillion pictures, most of which were of Doyle, and most of which didn't come out well due to the aforementioned backlighting. I didn't have the timing or the location right to get a baseball, sadly -- there was a ball that was on the grass in front of me, and I asked one of the security guys if he could give it to me, but he said he wasn't allowed, though he could kick a ball towards me if it landed on the outer track. A groundskeeper walked by and picked up the ball and threw it to a little kid, and the guard was like, "Tough luck! If only you were five years old, eh?" I watched the ushers put the plastic bags into the seats in the first couple rows, too -- somehow it had never occurred to me that someone had to actually go out and do that before every game. I offered to help, and fortunately, they thought I was kidding.
At 5:05, they opened the normal gates, and within literally two minutes the entire empty section I had was filled with Red Sox fans, so I decided to leave. I went back to the first base side, stood with a bunch of Mariners fans who hadn't moved in an hour, and watched the rest of BP. A lot of them were serious autograph collectors and had a ton of stuff signed that they were showing me; one lady showed me her 2006 team photo with signatures from almost everyone, including Carl Everett. When Snelling was running by to go take BP, a girl in front of me yelled "CHRIS!!!" and got no reaction, so I yelled "SNELLING!!!" and no reaction, and so I yelled "DOYLE!!!!" and he looked over and waved, but didn't come over. Alas. Jose Lopez did come over to the stands a bit later but not near us, and then as the team was running off the field, me and another girl yelled "ERIC!!!" at Eric O'Flaherty, and he grinned and came over to the stands and signed stuff and posed for pictures and all. He seems like a really nice guy.
Hargrove was signing stuff on the dugout, but I decided I didn't really care, took a few more pictures of the Red Sox guys warming up, and then I went down to the team store to try on jerseys. See, we got a coupon to double our STH discount for just that day, so I figured if I was going to get one, I should probably use the discount. I tried on some replica jerseys and they fit okay, but then I was faced with a quandary of which one to get, so I figured I'd come back later. The store was already mobbed even though it was pre-game.
Came back up to the field and the Sox were already done their BP and warmups, which meant the Sox fans were also dispersing. Good riddance. I ate a hot dog and went down to the seat I'm now calling "Warmup Point", because it's the best spot ever to watch/film the opposing pitchers getting their arms loose on the field. It's one of those two seats in the front of Section 151 down by the mechanical scoreboard, and it's never occupied at 6:35pm. This is where I got Randy on Thursday, and Cupcakes and Jae Seo a few weeks ago, and some others I haven't posted. Anyway, David Wells is quite large, which makes my auto-focus work pretty well. He also tends to look upwards while he's throwing, so it wasn't hard to get shots like this one where he's actually smiling.
Unfortunately, the bullpen area was just horrendously crowded, and I couldn't even get a decent hole from the tavern to aim a lens through. I ran over to the Mariners' side of the pen, which was slightly less crowded, but that's like saying Joe Blanton is slightly less huge than David Wells. I wasn't even able to get up against the fence, but somehow I managed a few shots like this anyway, and I have no idea how that came out so well. I've got to learn more about focal length, I think.
I know better than to get trapped in the bullpen during the anthem during a crowded-as-hell game, so I bolted pretty quickly and ran upstairs as fast as I could, and despite my best crowd maneuvering tactics -- which are really quite impressive, just ask some of my friends -- I barely got into my seat in time for the first pitch. Jeff had arrived a few minutes before me, and we had a brief conversation about whether it's better to have a sucky team and an empty stadium or a great team and a full stadium. Honestly, I wish there was some sort of happy medium where the team could be great but the stadium wouldn't be so crowded that I want to punch people. Or at least where the fans would actually know where the hell they were going, rather than this being the one game per year they attend because they saw the Red Sox on TV a few years ago, so they're all just milling around, blocking traffic, trying to figure out where they can buy a big styrofoam finger to wave in the air in front of people who are actually trying to watch the game like myself.
Um, anyway. This may be the most text I've ever written before actually talking about the game that went on.
Gil Meche was fantastic for the first few innings. Infact, he had FIVE STRIKEOUTS AFTER TWO INNINGS. No, I'm not making that up. We were just watching in shock as he kept sending guys back down to the bench. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep that up, and started running into trouble in the third, as Beltre and Lopez both made fantastic plays to save his ass, before Coco Crisp hit one of those home runs that barely cleared the fence to bring the score to 1-0.
After a Spelling Bee segment featuring Ben "Bershard", Gabe Kapler had some trouble tracking an Adrian Beltre hit into the rightcenter gap which turned into a double, and Ibanez singled him home, 1-1. Ibanez also advanced to second on Richie Sexson's pop to center field, which was astounding, given how slowly he appeared to be moving.
Meche really started struggling in the 5th -- I remember thinking how his line for the day was going to belie little details like this -- at that point the 0 walks and 6 strikeouts were going to look pretty good, but he started really getting behind the count on some players and was obviously having some trouble. With two outs, Kapler hit a single up the middle, and again behind the count, he walked Crisp. Loretta hit a fly ball to shallowish center, and Ichiro ran in for it, got his glove on the ball, but it popped out, scoring Kapler and almost scoring Crisp. I almost started to write that down as an E-8, then remembered that most guys wouldn't even GET their glove on the ball, let alone drop it, and marked it down correctly as an RBI single. 2-1.
Betancourt hit a triple in the bottom half of the 5th, and given how much trouble Kapler and Crisp were having fielding it, and how fast Betancourt was running, we almost thought it might be an inside-the-park home run, and stood up to watch, but alas. As is typical these days, with a guy on third and one out, Bohn struck out and Ichiro grounded out. Alas, part 2.
Meche lucked out of the 6th and 7th innings with 19 pitches and a bunch of grounders, including a goddamn nice play by Betancourt where he zoomed like a laser to the middle, grabbed the ball and spun and threw it to first in time to get Kapler. (Something I should point out is that I have several plays on my scorecard denoted with one or more exclamation points for Mariners defensive plays, and none for the Red Sox.) Unfortunately, the Mariners couldn't score enough runs for Meche in their half of the seventh, though they put forth a decent effort. I'd told Jeff about my indecision over buying a jersey, and said, "If Johjima hits a home run right now, I'm buying a Johjima jersey." Johjima grounded out to first, and then Yuniesky Betancourt stepped up to the plate and hit a home run right over the mechanical scoreboard. 2-2.
(Incidentally, Jeff ended up buying a Betancourt number t-shirt later on, to replace his Moyer one. I thought that was particularly fitting, since Betancourt's picture has replaced Moyer's on the 1st Avenue player pictures. But I digress.)
With everyone all excited over Betancourt's home run, somehow I knew TJ Bohn was going to do something besides strike out, and he hit the ball to left for his first major league hit. And I even got a picture of the swing. That was neat. Ichiro singled!... and then Jose Lopez grounded out. No soup for Meche.
The top of the 8th inning was retarded. Rafael Soriano came out and retired Coco Crisp and Mark Loretta. George Sherrill was brought in to face David Ortiz, which makes sense, and the defense went into a major shift, which also kind of makes sense, except then Ortiz tried to bunt the ball down the third-base line, which also makes sense, and was pretty funny. So once you know that the guy's going to be doing his damnedest to defeat your shift, what happens? He hits the ball into the left field corner for a double, which probably would have been gotten by Beltre in his normal position, or run down faster by Ibanez for a single. If Ortiz was actually fast, that may have ended up being a triple anyway, but there are definitely some downsides of being huge and powerful, and speed is one of them. Manny Ramirez was intentionally walked, and then JJ Putz was summoned to take care of Mike Lowell. I labelled the mound conference "Goddamnit" for a reason -- it felt like they'd basically just handed the game loss to Sherrill.
And for a minute, it almost worked out like that. Lowell hit the ball to shallow left field, which scored Ortiz, but Betancourt recovered the ball and threw it to third way ahead of Manny, and from my vantage point it appeared that Beltre tagged Manny on the head, then the ball popped out of his glove, but he caught it with his other hand, and Manny was out, but the run scored. 3-2. I haven't gotten to see what it looked like from another angle.
The Red Sox brought out Mike Timlin to pitch, at which point Jeff said something like "Wow! Mike Timlin! I remember when he pitched for us! Boy, did he suck!" and then PositivePaul called me, mostly so we could commisserate over George's fate, and then... and then Adrian Beltre hit a home run to RIGHT FIELD, and I couldn't hear the phone, because everyone was cheering too loud, and I also didn't get a picture, because I was holding the phone. (Jeff said that he had been debating snatching the camera from me and taking a picture since he just knew Beltre was going to hit a homer.) Ibanez, whose cheering section was out in full and had a lot to cheer for as their hero went 3-for-4, singled again to left, and Richie also singled, and I had to hang up with Paul because I couldn't hear a damn thing he was saying. Ben "Bershard" came in next and hit one of those "It's too high!" "How can it be too high?" fly balls to center field, and Ibanez tagged up and scored, this time at a speed that didn't make me worry that the time-space continuum was in jeopardy. Johjima and Betancourt both popped out to right after that, but the Mariners were winning 4-3, and that's all that mattered, as JJ Putz came out and STRUCK OUT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SIDE in the top of the 9th, and I even got a kind of cool picture of Hinske whiffing. Yeeeeeehaw.
Paul and his brother-in-law Dave had been sitting only two sections over from us, so Jeff and I went and found them afterwards and hung out chatting for a while. We all tromped down to the team store where I tried to convince Paul to spend $300 on a game-used Sherrill jersey, and he tried to convince me to spend $300 on a game-used Snelling jersey, and Dave was telling us how he wanted to get a game-used Jon Lester ball, and then all three of them convinced me to just go ahead and use my season-ticket-holder-special-doubled-discount to buy a jersey so I have a nice Mariners shirt to wear in Japan (I've got a bunch of number t-shirts, but no jerseys). Unfortunately, the "real" jerseys actually didn't fit me at all -- they were all too long, and all either too baggy or wouldn't button across my chest/hips, which isn't too weird, I guess, given the shape of baseball players. So I tried on the replica jersey again, and it fit perfectly! I ended up getting the Johjima one, so my conversations this time around will be more like "Oh, you from Seattle? You see Johjima?"
As I discovered at Fan Fest, Dave knows pretty much 90% of the staff of Safeco Field, and the team store is no exception. This time he had a friend working there who was explaining to us why there's a Rivera #30 t-shirt available, but not a Snelling or Sherrill or any of the other "second-class" players. Apparently Rivera kept asking them where his shirt was, and they were too nice to say something like "Well, you're not good enough to have one," so they'd tell him they were all out, and finally they decided to just go ahead and make one for him, ordering the smallest quantity possible. He was delighted as all hell, apparently buying like 25 of them to give to his friends, and running around in the clubhouse showing off the shirt to Jose and Felix and all. So, if you want a Rivera #30 t-shirt, you better get one quick, because they're not going to last long!
(I did tell the guy that if they made up a Snelling #32 t-shirt, even if they only printed a hundred of them, I had no doubt in my mind that they'd sell out within a few weeks once DMZ got word of their existence... but, it sounds like they're holding off on Snelling shirts until they're sure he'll be sticking around. Putz, on the other hand, is likely to have a shirt for sure next year, and Sherrill isn't entirely out of the question either. The store guy told us a funny story about how Sherrill and his girlfriend apparently came in and were shopping in the team store after a game once, even with fans around, and absolutely nobody recognized him. That's hilarious, though somewhat unsurprising.)
Jeff and I walked halfway across SoDo to get back to his car and he gave me a ride home. Since he's moving away in a month, it'll probably be a long time before we go to another game together, unless we manage one at the end of September. It's funny, but Jeff is somewhat responsible for this blog's existence in the first place, as he went with me to the USSM feed two years ago where Dave Cameron inspired me to start blogging in the first place, and he even took me to my first King Felix game in Tacoma at the start of the 2005 season. Good times. Despite that I know he's never going to return my copy of Ball Four, it'll be a shame to lose a good baseball buddy.
And, whew, that was a long entry to type out, and I don't blame anyone for not really reading it.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Temporary Game Report
My computer just crashed and ate my entry. I'll try to rewrite it in the morning, I'm tired as all heck -- got to the park at 4pm for the Season Ticket Holder early BP thing, and didn't get home until after 11pm. So here is just me pointlessly bragging:
I couldn't think of anything good to bring to get signed, so I brought this. I pretty much got the whole bullpen to sign it -- Sherrill, Woods, Baek, Putz, Green, O'Flaherty (!) and the Moose. Neat, huh?
I have a bunch of pictures that I took. (edit: I've thumbnailed them now.) I highly recommend Doyle or Richie or Meche.
More report tomorrow. I own the Red Sox.
I couldn't think of anything good to bring to get signed, so I brought this. I pretty much got the whole bullpen to sign it -- Sherrill, Woods, Baek, Putz, Green, O'Flaherty (!) and the Moose. Neat, huh?
I have a bunch of pictures that I took. (edit: I've thumbnailed them now.) I highly recommend Doyle or Richie or Meche.
More report tomorrow. I own the Red Sox.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Game Report: Mariners vs. Red Sox - Long Ball, the Musical
Red Sox 9, Mariners 4.
Jamie Moyer:
It's hot out at Safeco
Who knows where the plays go
I'd like to see some zeroes in their box.
I know I'm feeling rotten
My arm is made of cotton
I'm sweaty, I'm ready, so bring on the Sox.
Kyle Snyder:
How did I get here? It feels like a dream
From lousy Kansas City to this super-awesome team
I won't let them know
That I can't really throw.
It seems that I've got
to give it my best shot.
David Ortiz: Hey mon, I'm playing first!
Manny Ramirez: Ain't that where you the worst?
Gabe Kapler: I'm out in left field being Manny's feet...
Trot Nixon: At least I get to play.
Coco Crisp: You say that EVERY day.
Mark Loretta: Calm down, you guys, and revel in this heat--
Youkilis, Ortiz, Manny, Varitek: We'd like to hit the long ball!
Alex Gonzalez: That'd be sweet!
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
We hit 'em for Francona!
The long ball,
From here to Barcelona.
There's no corner of the outfield stands,
No spot in either 'pen
We'll hit the ball way out there
And we'll hit it out again!
Some people criticize us
And they say that we depend
On the glory of the home run
As our one offensive friend.
It's not that we're all slugging,
It's just that when it's hot
We'd rather circle bases on a trot.
Nixon: What?
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball!
The far wall--
Francona: Youkilis. You're up.
Ortiz:
Whoa, mon.
Watch that ball go, mon.
Youkie flies ta center and Markie goes ta right.
I'm gonna aim, mon.
This swing's my game, mon.
Slow-pitching Jame, mon...
[THWACK]
Adam Jones: Oh shit, it's gonna be a long night.
Ortiz:
I loving this first base!
I never lose my place.
Raul Ibanez:
Maybe if I hit a grounder
It'll smash your face.
Kapler:
Yippee! They made an error!
I thought that I'd be out.
But now I do the dance of joy and shout!
Gonzalez:
I love facing Jamie Moyer,
Truth be told.
It's not just pitching slowly
'Cause he's old;
It's that he's throwing cookies
And hitting them's so fun--
My average against him
Is a perfect number one!
Moyer: WHAT?
[THWACK]
Ibanez: Hey, that was a nice shot. He hit the Emerald Queen sign.
Betancourt:
You say Manny being Manny
I say Yuni being Yuni
Who say Richie being Richie?
You see Jamie being Jamie--
Bloomquist:
I'm Willie being Willie!
Betancourt: [rolls eyes] Really really?
Sexson: This is silly.
Moyer:
Why can't my team score some runs?
I'd like to have a longer rest just once.
Varitek: Trust me, Moyer, you will always remember this as the day you almost struck out...
[THWACK]
...Captain Jason Varitek.
George Sherrill: Jesus CHRIST will someone warn me when Moyer's gonna serve up another one so I don't get hit in the head on the way to the can.
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
The far wall,
We're gonna hit them out there
If we're hitting them at all!
Gonzalez:
My perfect average is intact,
I'm going to walk to first, infact.
Kevin Youkilis:
They call me the "Greek God Euclis",
They say I'm down with OBP.
Rather than being rebukeless,
I'd rather them think, "You KILL this"...
[THWACK]
Sox Fan in Section 152: Use the force, Youk. Use the force.
Mike Morse: What?
Greg Dobbs: Dude, you're not even here. Lay off my roster spot.
Moyer:
It's still so freaking hot out,
And I just can't get a break
How much freaking longer
Is this inning going to take?
Ortiz:
I loving this first base!
I can walk there at my pace!
Manny: [rapping]
Hey yo wussup hey
I'm Manny ya say
I'm the dude puttin' spikes in your E.R.A.
I'm the Moyer Destroyer,
I got a good sense
I'm puttin' the ball right over da fence
I'm the spark in the dark
Ain't no question no mark
That I'm gonna hit it straight outta da park
[THWACK]
Ichiro: The long ball...
Adam Jones: It has a sort of catchy tune, doesn't it?
Ibanez: The far wall...
Adam Jones: So this is what real major leaguers hit like, huh?
Moyer: I wondered when he'd finally go and make the bullpen call...
Johjima: You do okay, Moyer-san. Only give up six hits.
Sexson: Yeah, and five of them were jacks!
Johjima: Sounds like good poker hand!
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
The far wall,
Just give us a few hours, we'll hit homers to McCall.
We launch them to the outfield,
We don't know where they'll fall.
They could land in the bullpen
Or in the entry hall.
It's typical with Boston
To see the game be tossed in.
No matter the location
You'll see our dedication
To conquer every team for Red Sox Nation!
Mike Hargrove: Okay, guys, we're changing this musical to "Into the Woods."
Jake Woods: What?
Mike Hargrove: Just throw strikes, son.
Jamie Moyer:
It's hot out at Safeco
Who knows where the plays go
I'd like to see some zeroes in their box.
I know I'm feeling rotten
My arm is made of cotton
I'm sweaty, I'm ready, so bring on the Sox.
Kyle Snyder:
How did I get here? It feels like a dream
From lousy Kansas City to this super-awesome team
I won't let them know
That I can't really throw.
It seems that I've got
to give it my best shot.
David Ortiz: Hey mon, I'm playing first!
Manny Ramirez: Ain't that where you the worst?
Gabe Kapler: I'm out in left field being Manny's feet...
Trot Nixon: At least I get to play.
Coco Crisp: You say that EVERY day.
Mark Loretta: Calm down, you guys, and revel in this heat--
Youkilis, Ortiz, Manny, Varitek: We'd like to hit the long ball!
Alex Gonzalez: That'd be sweet!
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
We hit 'em for Francona!
The long ball,
From here to Barcelona.
There's no corner of the outfield stands,
No spot in either 'pen
We'll hit the ball way out there
And we'll hit it out again!
Some people criticize us
And they say that we depend
On the glory of the home run
As our one offensive friend.
It's not that we're all slugging,
It's just that when it's hot
We'd rather circle bases on a trot.
Nixon: What?
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball!
The far wall--
Francona: Youkilis. You're up.
Ortiz:
Whoa, mon.
Watch that ball go, mon.
Youkie flies ta center and Markie goes ta right.
I'm gonna aim, mon.
This swing's my game, mon.
Slow-pitching Jame, mon...
[THWACK]
Adam Jones: Oh shit, it's gonna be a long night.
Ortiz:
I loving this first base!
I never lose my place.
Raul Ibanez:
Maybe if I hit a grounder
It'll smash your face.
Kapler:
Yippee! They made an error!
I thought that I'd be out.
But now I do the dance of joy and shout!
Gonzalez:
I love facing Jamie Moyer,
Truth be told.
It's not just pitching slowly
'Cause he's old;
It's that he's throwing cookies
And hitting them's so fun--
My average against him
Is a perfect number one!
Moyer: WHAT?
[THWACK]
Ibanez: Hey, that was a nice shot. He hit the Emerald Queen sign.
Betancourt:
You say Manny being Manny
I say Yuni being Yuni
Who say Richie being Richie?
You see Jamie being Jamie--
Bloomquist:
I'm Willie being Willie!
Betancourt: [rolls eyes] Really really?
Sexson: This is silly.
Moyer:
Why can't my team score some runs?
I'd like to have a longer rest just once.
Varitek: Trust me, Moyer, you will always remember this as the day you almost struck out...
[THWACK]
...Captain Jason Varitek.
George Sherrill: Jesus CHRIST will someone warn me when Moyer's gonna serve up another one so I don't get hit in the head on the way to the can.
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
The far wall,
We're gonna hit them out there
If we're hitting them at all!
Gonzalez:
My perfect average is intact,
I'm going to walk to first, infact.
Kevin Youkilis:
They call me the "Greek God Euclis",
They say I'm down with OBP.
Rather than being rebukeless,
I'd rather them think, "You KILL this"...
[THWACK]
Sox Fan in Section 152: Use the force, Youk. Use the force.
Mike Morse: What?
Greg Dobbs: Dude, you're not even here. Lay off my roster spot.
Moyer:
It's still so freaking hot out,
And I just can't get a break
How much freaking longer
Is this inning going to take?
Ortiz:
I loving this first base!
I can walk there at my pace!
Manny: [rapping]
Hey yo wussup hey
I'm Manny ya say
I'm the dude puttin' spikes in your E.R.A.
I'm the Moyer Destroyer,
I got a good sense
I'm puttin' the ball right over da fence
I'm the spark in the dark
Ain't no question no mark
That I'm gonna hit it straight outta da park
[THWACK]
Ichiro: The long ball...
Adam Jones: It has a sort of catchy tune, doesn't it?
Ibanez: The far wall...
Adam Jones: So this is what real major leaguers hit like, huh?
Moyer: I wondered when he'd finally go and make the bullpen call...
Johjima: You do okay, Moyer-san. Only give up six hits.
Sexson: Yeah, and five of them were jacks!
Johjima: Sounds like good poker hand!
Red Sox (Chorus):
The long ball,
The far wall,
Just give us a few hours, we'll hit homers to McCall.
We launch them to the outfield,
We don't know where they'll fall.
They could land in the bullpen
Or in the entry hall.
It's typical with Boston
To see the game be tossed in.
No matter the location
You'll see our dedication
To conquer every team for Red Sox Nation!
Mike Hargrove: Okay, guys, we're changing this musical to "Into the Woods."
Jake Woods: What?
Mike Hargrove: Just throw strikes, son.
Labels:
Frivolous,
Humor,
Mariners,
Red Sox,
Song Parody
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Book Review: Mind Game: How the Boston Red Sox Won A World Series
Mind Game: How the Boston Red Sox Got Smart, Won a World Series, and Created a New Blueprint for Winning, by Baseball Prospectus Writers
(I feel a little weird reviewing this book, since I sort of know a few of the authors, which is why I've procrastinated on it)
The amazing part about this book is how it's written by 20 different people, but it flows really well, for the most part, as if one author wrote it. Towards the end of it I almost felt myself playing a game with the book -- I'd be reading a chapter and come across a particularly witty phrase (for example, "...ever since Bill James discovered America...") and immediately think "Okay. Who wrote this chapter?" Sometimes I'd be right, sometimes I'd be wrong. The fact that I was more often wrong than right says something about the quality of editing and the ability of most of the authors to keep to one style and produce a homogeneity of writing quality.
The unamazing part of this book is the numbers. While I'd say about half of the numbers in the book were genuinely useful, interesting, timely, and proved a point, I'd say there were plenty of superfluous ones as well, which mostly just interrupted the flow of the book for me as I paused to look at them; often they were based off Prospectus equations which aren't easy to find or remember, even if you're familiar with the results and the use of the statistics. Fortunately, most of the time the gratuitous numbers segments were at the end of chapters, which meant you could look at them, decide whether you wanted to spend the time to really grok them, and then either go on to the next chapter or immerse yourself in math for a few minutes. I have to admit that I just skimmed the 40 pages of lists at the end.
As a result, this was a terrible bus book for me; it was slow-going and had a lot of context to keep, if I didn't finish a chapter on one ride. I have a feeling it'd be a bit better if I had read it at home and was able to look up the stats that I didn't recall offhand, although that too would have interrupted the reading flow, I think.
However, despite this, it was a genuinely interesting, informative book. I learned a lot from reading it. It was sort of cool to see them apply prospectus-isms to some older Red Sox teams, and some of the number-crunching actually really helped me better understand some points (the chapter on deconstructing Mariano Rivera was particularly good). I thought some of the tangents felt unnecessary (there seemed to be a lot about baseball brawls, although maybe that was a bigger part of the 2004 Sox than I personally recall?), but overall, things were good.
The "Caveman Cleans Up" and "Holy Gospel of On-Base Percentage" chapters were particularly amusing to me since I recently read "Idiot" and revisited "Moneyball". Infact, in general, this was a very odd book to read right after reading "Idiot", because it was a complete 180 on viewpoints. Johnny Damon would tell you something about a player being a great guy, and BP will give you the numbers about exactly how great he was.
So, while "Idiot" is a pretty quick read if you want to revisit the 2004 Red Sox for fun, "Mind Game" will be a much longer read, but you'll learn a lot more. If you enjoy reading Baseball Prospectus articles in general, you will probably adore this book. If you're the sort of baseball fan that goes "Ack! Numbers! Whatever, you gotta have HEART!", then you probably won't like it.
(I feel a little weird reviewing this book, since I sort of know a few of the authors, which is why I've procrastinated on it)
The amazing part about this book is how it's written by 20 different people, but it flows really well, for the most part, as if one author wrote it. Towards the end of it I almost felt myself playing a game with the book -- I'd be reading a chapter and come across a particularly witty phrase (for example, "...ever since Bill James discovered America...") and immediately think "Okay. Who wrote this chapter?" Sometimes I'd be right, sometimes I'd be wrong. The fact that I was more often wrong than right says something about the quality of editing and the ability of most of the authors to keep to one style and produce a homogeneity of writing quality.
The unamazing part of this book is the numbers. While I'd say about half of the numbers in the book were genuinely useful, interesting, timely, and proved a point, I'd say there were plenty of superfluous ones as well, which mostly just interrupted the flow of the book for me as I paused to look at them; often they were based off Prospectus equations which aren't easy to find or remember, even if you're familiar with the results and the use of the statistics. Fortunately, most of the time the gratuitous numbers segments were at the end of chapters, which meant you could look at them, decide whether you wanted to spend the time to really grok them, and then either go on to the next chapter or immerse yourself in math for a few minutes. I have to admit that I just skimmed the 40 pages of lists at the end.
As a result, this was a terrible bus book for me; it was slow-going and had a lot of context to keep, if I didn't finish a chapter on one ride. I have a feeling it'd be a bit better if I had read it at home and was able to look up the stats that I didn't recall offhand, although that too would have interrupted the reading flow, I think.
However, despite this, it was a genuinely interesting, informative book. I learned a lot from reading it. It was sort of cool to see them apply prospectus-isms to some older Red Sox teams, and some of the number-crunching actually really helped me better understand some points (the chapter on deconstructing Mariano Rivera was particularly good). I thought some of the tangents felt unnecessary (there seemed to be a lot about baseball brawls, although maybe that was a bigger part of the 2004 Sox than I personally recall?), but overall, things were good.
The "Caveman Cleans Up" and "Holy Gospel of On-Base Percentage" chapters were particularly amusing to me since I recently read "Idiot" and revisited "Moneyball". Infact, in general, this was a very odd book to read right after reading "Idiot", because it was a complete 180 on viewpoints. Johnny Damon would tell you something about a player being a great guy, and BP will give you the numbers about exactly how great he was.
So, while "Idiot" is a pretty quick read if you want to revisit the 2004 Red Sox for fun, "Mind Game" will be a much longer read, but you'll learn a lot more. If you enjoy reading Baseball Prospectus articles in general, you will probably adore this book. If you're the sort of baseball fan that goes "Ack! Numbers! Whatever, you gotta have HEART!", then you probably won't like it.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Book Reviews: "Idiot" and "You Never Forget Your First"
I finished reading both of these books this week in tandem (you'll understand why in a second), and since I'm trying to do book reviews to also keep myself updated on my "what I've read" list, I figured I should write something about them.
Idiot, by Johnny Damon (with Peter Golenbock)
I am sure you've all seen or heard of this book already. The paperback edition even contains COOL PICTURES FROM 2005! Since, after all, this book was originally written and published in the winter of 2004 following the Red Sox winning the World Series.
Anyway, I found this book to be pretty entertaining, although it's not necessarily a "you absolutely must read it" sort of book outside of Red Sox fans, and even then, due to his new uniform, maybe not even then. As you'd expect, only the first 1/5th of it is about pre-Red-Sox Johnny Damon -- growing up, getting drafted, playing for the Royals and the A's, and then, BOOM, free agency, here we come Boston. After that, aside from bits and pieces of personal life details, the rest of the book is pretty much all about the Red Sox, mostly about 2003 and of course 2004. So, if you're a Red Sox fan, you still would probably enjoy reading this book, because it's sort of like re-living those seasons and championships, just through a different perspective. And if you aren't a Red Sox fan, you might enjoy reading this book anyway just because Johnny Damon's got crazy stories to tell about all the guys on the team (well, mostly he makes fun of Kevin Millar for being a loudmouth).
However, the biggest irony I must mention is that Johnny Damon spends a good half of the book always interspersing little details about how "We have to beat the Yankees" or "The Yankees and George are always trying new things to foil our plans" or "We're just proving that the Red Sox are not second fiddle to the Yankees", etc, etc. Lots of anti-Yankee stuff... and where's Johnny Damon playing now? The Yankees! Hee! So it's definitely pretty funny to read some of his sentiments during this book (and about his hair) now that we know where he'll be playing in 2006. On the other hand, he does spend a good chunk of time talking about how awesome Jason Giambi and Derek Jeter are, so I guess he's covered there.
You Never Forget Your First, by Josh Lewin
Now this IS a "you totally should read it" sort of book.
Also, as far as being a bus book, this is about as perfect as they get.
Basically, Josh Lewin (one of the TV voices of the Texas Rangers) went out and interviewed a ton of baseball players, asking them about their MLB debut, what was going through their head, what strange circumstances led up to it if any, what were they thinking when they got the phone call saying "You're going up!" and so on. So in a 250-page book, you have 120 players covered, each around 2-3 pages. Each player's section has a couple paragraphs summarizing who the player is and the highlights of their career, then has a couple paragraphs from the interview about their MLB debut, then has the box score of that game, plus little random factoids about the date, usually connected somehow with the player. (For example, Jamie Moyer's is "Also on June 16, 1986: Simply Red begins its rise on the pop charts with their hit single 'Holding Back The Years'. AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'Holding Back The Years' is precisely what Moyer has been doing since his mid '90s renaissance, pitching into his forties for Seattle.")
Almost all of the interviews are really interesting and entertaining, like Torii Hunter telling how he was put in a pinch-runner and Terry Steinbach messed with him pretending he wasn't going to get off base, and Hunter started running back to the dugout, only to have Terry yell "No, man, I'm just kidding with you!" as the stadium's all laughing like "Ahh, rookie." Or did you know that Mike Hargrove is the first person Roger Clemens ever struck out? And then there's Justin Morneau talking about how Larry Walker was such a big hero to him as a Canadian player, and his first game he happened to be playing against the Rockies, and Walker sent over an autographed bat for him saying "Welcome to the show. Make Canada proud." Joe Nuxhall (the youngest player ever, during WWII) mentions coming home the day of his debut like "School was fine, and oh, by the way, I pitched to Stan Musial!" And Eric Byrnes talks about how in his debut, he was doing okay, getting a few hits, then Steve Reed took offense at something and beaned him, which started a big brawl -- "Welcome to the big leagues. Two veteran teams going at it, and just because I had taken a big swing against Steve Reed, I guess. Whoops."
The biographies of the players are pretty cool too, with random trivia. Byrnes can name all 43 US Presidents in order. Tony LaRussa got his law degree the year before he became the White Sox manager. Kevin Millar himself described his bearded look as "Amish Porn Star". In addition, Millar trivia includes that he was never drafted for baseball, not in highschool or college, and worked his way up through the independent leagues, with the St. Paul Saints. Steve Stone is proud that he and Sandy Koufax are the only Jewish winners of the Cy Young. Alan Trammell snuck into Jack Murphy Stadium when he was a kid to watch Roberto Clemente take batting practice. Juan Samuel named one of his kids Samuel Samuel. And how did I never notice that the Tigers great Al Kaline's name spells out "alkaline"?
As if this wasn't enough to be fun reading, even just looking through the box scores of all the debuts is really awesome, and seeing names of players you'd totally forgotten about. Since this book features people who debuted anywhere from 1944 to 2004, there are all kinds of crazy lineups to see. Seeing the players who debuted in the early 80's either for the Phillies or against the Phillies just brought back a shock from lineups I hadn't seen since my childhood. A shocking number of people in this book, including Jamie Moyer, debuted against Steve Carlton. Heck, even A-Rod's debut in July 1994 made me think "whoa!" as he mentioned that the Mariners pitcher that day was Dave Fleming, a man I'd never heard of until a USSM post this week. And actually, the craziest Mariners-related debut featured in this book was that of Ron Wright, who basically appeared in exactly one game for the Mariners, managed to produce 6 outs in three at-bats by way of a single, double, and triple play -- and never got into an MLB game again.
This book is pretty fantastic, especially if you're the sort who's really interested in players' rookie cards and years and all. I happened to pick it up in a bookstore one day and read through a couple of the players' stories, but thought, "Gah, I don't want to pay $25 for this in hardback" and put it down. A week or two later I saw it in another bookstore, picked it up, read a few more players' stories, thought "Awesome! But ugh, $25, I wonder when it'll come out in paperback?" A week or two after that I was in yet another bookstore, saw the book again, picked it up, read it for ten minutes, and thought "You know, I'll be saving myself a lot of trouble if I just BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY", so I did that. And I don't regret it -- this was not only a great bus book but also hugely entertaining.
Idiot, by Johnny Damon (with Peter Golenbock)
I am sure you've all seen or heard of this book already. The paperback edition even contains COOL PICTURES FROM 2005! Since, after all, this book was originally written and published in the winter of 2004 following the Red Sox winning the World Series.
Anyway, I found this book to be pretty entertaining, although it's not necessarily a "you absolutely must read it" sort of book outside of Red Sox fans, and even then, due to his new uniform, maybe not even then. As you'd expect, only the first 1/5th of it is about pre-Red-Sox Johnny Damon -- growing up, getting drafted, playing for the Royals and the A's, and then, BOOM, free agency, here we come Boston. After that, aside from bits and pieces of personal life details, the rest of the book is pretty much all about the Red Sox, mostly about 2003 and of course 2004. So, if you're a Red Sox fan, you still would probably enjoy reading this book, because it's sort of like re-living those seasons and championships, just through a different perspective. And if you aren't a Red Sox fan, you might enjoy reading this book anyway just because Johnny Damon's got crazy stories to tell about all the guys on the team (well, mostly he makes fun of Kevin Millar for being a loudmouth).
However, the biggest irony I must mention is that Johnny Damon spends a good half of the book always interspersing little details about how "We have to beat the Yankees" or "The Yankees and George are always trying new things to foil our plans" or "We're just proving that the Red Sox are not second fiddle to the Yankees", etc, etc. Lots of anti-Yankee stuff... and where's Johnny Damon playing now? The Yankees! Hee! So it's definitely pretty funny to read some of his sentiments during this book (and about his hair) now that we know where he'll be playing in 2006. On the other hand, he does spend a good chunk of time talking about how awesome Jason Giambi and Derek Jeter are, so I guess he's covered there.
You Never Forget Your First, by Josh Lewin
Now this IS a "you totally should read it" sort of book.
Also, as far as being a bus book, this is about as perfect as they get.
Basically, Josh Lewin (one of the TV voices of the Texas Rangers) went out and interviewed a ton of baseball players, asking them about their MLB debut, what was going through their head, what strange circumstances led up to it if any, what were they thinking when they got the phone call saying "You're going up!" and so on. So in a 250-page book, you have 120 players covered, each around 2-3 pages. Each player's section has a couple paragraphs summarizing who the player is and the highlights of their career, then has a couple paragraphs from the interview about their MLB debut, then has the box score of that game, plus little random factoids about the date, usually connected somehow with the player. (For example, Jamie Moyer's is "Also on June 16, 1986: Simply Red begins its rise on the pop charts with their hit single 'Holding Back The Years'. AUTHOR'S NOTE: 'Holding Back The Years' is precisely what Moyer has been doing since his mid '90s renaissance, pitching into his forties for Seattle.")
Almost all of the interviews are really interesting and entertaining, like Torii Hunter telling how he was put in a pinch-runner and Terry Steinbach messed with him pretending he wasn't going to get off base, and Hunter started running back to the dugout, only to have Terry yell "No, man, I'm just kidding with you!" as the stadium's all laughing like "Ahh, rookie." Or did you know that Mike Hargrove is the first person Roger Clemens ever struck out? And then there's Justin Morneau talking about how Larry Walker was such a big hero to him as a Canadian player, and his first game he happened to be playing against the Rockies, and Walker sent over an autographed bat for him saying "Welcome to the show. Make Canada proud." Joe Nuxhall (the youngest player ever, during WWII) mentions coming home the day of his debut like "School was fine, and oh, by the way, I pitched to Stan Musial!" And Eric Byrnes talks about how in his debut, he was doing okay, getting a few hits, then Steve Reed took offense at something and beaned him, which started a big brawl -- "Welcome to the big leagues. Two veteran teams going at it, and just because I had taken a big swing against Steve Reed, I guess. Whoops."
The biographies of the players are pretty cool too, with random trivia. Byrnes can name all 43 US Presidents in order. Tony LaRussa got his law degree the year before he became the White Sox manager. Kevin Millar himself described his bearded look as "Amish Porn Star". In addition, Millar trivia includes that he was never drafted for baseball, not in highschool or college, and worked his way up through the independent leagues, with the St. Paul Saints. Steve Stone is proud that he and Sandy Koufax are the only Jewish winners of the Cy Young. Alan Trammell snuck into Jack Murphy Stadium when he was a kid to watch Roberto Clemente take batting practice. Juan Samuel named one of his kids Samuel Samuel. And how did I never notice that the Tigers great Al Kaline's name spells out "alkaline"?
As if this wasn't enough to be fun reading, even just looking through the box scores of all the debuts is really awesome, and seeing names of players you'd totally forgotten about. Since this book features people who debuted anywhere from 1944 to 2004, there are all kinds of crazy lineups to see. Seeing the players who debuted in the early 80's either for the Phillies or against the Phillies just brought back a shock from lineups I hadn't seen since my childhood. A shocking number of people in this book, including Jamie Moyer, debuted against Steve Carlton. Heck, even A-Rod's debut in July 1994 made me think "whoa!" as he mentioned that the Mariners pitcher that day was Dave Fleming, a man I'd never heard of until a USSM post this week. And actually, the craziest Mariners-related debut featured in this book was that of Ron Wright, who basically appeared in exactly one game for the Mariners, managed to produce 6 outs in three at-bats by way of a single, double, and triple play -- and never got into an MLB game again.
This book is pretty fantastic, especially if you're the sort who's really interested in players' rookie cards and years and all. I happened to pick it up in a bookstore one day and read through a couple of the players' stories, but thought, "Gah, I don't want to pay $25 for this in hardback" and put it down. A week or two later I saw it in another bookstore, picked it up, read a few more players' stories, thought "Awesome! But ugh, $25, I wonder when it'll come out in paperback?" A week or two after that I was in yet another bookstore, saw the book again, picked it up, read it for ten minutes, and thought "You know, I'll be saving myself a lot of trouble if I just BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY", so I did that. And I don't regret it -- this was not only a great bus book but also hugely entertaining.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
The Postseason, Bronx Bomb Shelter Style
It was a dull Tuesday afternoon in the locker room of Yankees Stadium, the day after a grueling loss in game 5 of the ALDS. Various players were milling about, cleaning out their lockers. Some were still trying to get in some workout time in the weight room, and a few sat around chatting idly. Derek Jeter was sitting by his locker, staring at a piece of paper in his hand.
Mike Mussina walked up to him. "Answering some last-minute fan mail?"
Jeter looked up, as if in a daze. "No... I wouldn't call this fan mail, exactly. Here, read it, Moose."
Mussina picked up the letter and read it to himself. His eyes first lit up with bemusement, then briefly flared with anger, and then fell into a dull stare.
"I dunno," replied Jeter. "He's got a point."
"What, that we're all a bunch of overpaid losers now?"
"No, I mean, did you see that episode of Queer Eye? We really did luck out, man. Do you really want to get your back waxed on national TV?"
They both paused for a minute, looked at each other, and flinched at the thought.
"I hope it's not the White Sox, then," mused Mussina.
"Why's that? 'Cause they beat the Red Sox?"
"No." He grimaced. "What's one of the few things that should hopefully never, ever, ever be seen on television ever again?"
Jeter thought for a minute. "Randy Johnson's face?"
Mussina shook his head. "Worse. Two words." He shuddered, as if it pained him to say it.
Jeter gave him a blank stare. "I give up."
"Duque Dance!"
Mike Mussina walked up to him. "Answering some last-minute fan mail?"
Jeter looked up, as if in a daze. "No... I wouldn't call this fan mail, exactly. Here, read it, Moose."
Mussina picked up the letter and read it to himself. His eyes first lit up with bemusement, then briefly flared with anger, and then fell into a dull stare.
Dear DJ,"So this is it, huh," Mussina said. "We're getting sympathy from Johnny Damon and the Red Sox."
Since we're kinda in the same boat here, man, I figured I'd drop ya a note with my condolences. Look on the bright side... I can tell you there's a lot more that goes with being the leadoff man on a winning World Series team these days. For example, you know that those Queer Eye guys want to do another show for whoever wins this year? So they can raise money for the Little Leaguers down in Louisiana? You may think it's humiliating getting beaten by the Angels, but trust me when I tell you there's nothing more humiliating than getting groped by that Carson Kressley guy on national TV. Did you see those crazy-ass pinstripes he put Mirabelli in last year? Hoooooooly shit, man, you should consider yourself lucky.
By the way, Manny says hi too. He says you guys can be friends now that you both hit lots of homers in the postseason and still lost. He had a message for Alex too, but he kept dissolving into giggles before he could get it out. I think it was something like "MVP my .133-batting ass, Slappy!" At least, that's how Bronson Arroyo translated it.
I'll see ya out on the warpath again next year, bro. Keep it real.
Love, JD
P.S - My hairstylist says to tell Alex that she doesn't care what anyone says, he's still a hottie.
"I dunno," replied Jeter. "He's got a point."
"What, that we're all a bunch of overpaid losers now?"
"No, I mean, did you see that episode of Queer Eye? We really did luck out, man. Do you really want to get your back waxed on national TV?"
They both paused for a minute, looked at each other, and flinched at the thought.
"I hope it's not the White Sox, then," mused Mussina.
"Why's that? 'Cause they beat the Red Sox?"
"No." He grimaced. "What's one of the few things that should hopefully never, ever, ever be seen on television ever again?"
Jeter thought for a minute. "Randy Johnson's face?"
Mussina shook his head. "Worse. Two words." He shuddered, as if it pained him to say it.
Jeter gave him a blank stare. "I give up."
"Duque Dance!"
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