I don’t care if you never say either of these, make your choice now

i'm the girl who makes up all the fake folk etymologies. it's fun and easy for me. nobody pays me, i just do it for the love of the game.

#here's a couple hot new ones fresh off the dome: #genitals are called yr ''loins'' bc it was a mishearing of the cockney pronounciation of ''lines'' as in ancestry/breeding #atom is actually the acronym A.T.O.M. - All Things Of Matter #discord was originally dis-chord in the musical sense - a chord that is wrong or off in some way #boom. there ya go. three beautiful lies free to go out into the world #my life goal is to achieve something as powerfully garbage as Ship High In Transit. someday...... #misinformation

unofficial linguistics post

– パプリカ Paprika (2006) dir. Satoshi Kon

George: thats all he would say, was "keep administering the shocks, keep going."

jerry: so what did you do??

george: what do you think i did? i kept administering the shocks!

jerry : even though you could hear the person on the other end--

george: well what was i supposed to do!

jerry: --screaming and begging for mercy?

george: "keep going, keep shocking him," the guy was telling me! *puts his head in his hands* he was in charge of the experiment, he was paying me, what was i supposed to do? tell him to go suck a lemon?

jerry: so what you're telling me is, you were just following orders?

*kramer enters wearing a brand new pork pie hat with the price tag still on*

kramer: guess who just got paid to sit around in a room pretending to get electrocuted all day!

Moooola!

This is cosmic horror. To me.

Artist is Thomas Deininger.

@andrasandreas replied:

I love Wikipedia subsections that are just absolutely unhinged out of context

Peak comedy right here

I hate r*hanna because one time my mom took me to the petting zoo and this big ass goat bit my hand and chased me around the farm and I know in my heart that it was her doing

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

subpoena

tumblr

alcohol

war thunder forums

this site is so funny you sound evil

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

Losing my mind over this

george is too relateable

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for