My face when 2011

The year's over. How the hell is the year over? Witchcraft is afoot, I know it. I think it's really still February, but the mind control rays from the Tee-Vee got us thinking it's New Years Eve. Gotta boost that economy with extra Christmas shopping when it's really a week after Valentine's Day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Mainly because I'm going out with my wife this evening and I have great expectations of frivolity tonight so I'll play along with the ruse.

I'm gonna say something now that I haven't said in years. This was a good year. You heard me, 2011 was a good year. Not for baseball cards, heavens no. Cards sucked absolute donkey balls in 2011. Sure, the Flagship was solid as usual and I did enjoy the shinies and Transmogrifier. I'll readily admit that. HOWEVER..... Heritage was drab (I'm beginning to think Ben Henry was right when he proposed dropping the Heritage line after 2009). Bowman ALWAYS sucks and there was no Stressbork to cause hysteria amongst the collecting community. Allen & Ginter was disappointing as hell save a couple of insert sets. Lineage almost broke me. Then there's Chrome and Finest and some other junk that no one even remembers anymore and out of all that you got what? A flagship that was ok, some shinies and a few insert sets I guess. And no Upper Deck for the first time since Reagan was President. And Maybe an unlicensed set from Donruss (which is now Panini) and Leaf (Which is no longer Donruss) but I can't even remember if those came out this year or if they are scheduled for 2012. 2011 sucked for cards. If you'd like to make a counter argument, feel free. I'll be happy to listen but I don't think you'll change my opinion.

No, 2011 was just a good year in general. The economy sucked, riots broke out all over the world, the United States Government has decided its mission statement is to actively destroy the nation using any means at their disposal and between pollution, climate change, methane deposits melting in the Arctic, peak oil and nuclear plants melting down we and all our descendants are all pretty much screwed forever. AND I LOST MY FAVORITE HOCKEY TEAM. AGAIN. But other than that, 2011 wasn't all that bad! It didn't seem that bad to me anyway.

A lotta good music came out this year. I made some new friends. I got to share Pokemon with my son and Ponies with my daughter. I finally read a book by Hunter S. Thompson (not that one, but I have it on hold at the library now). I saw the last Harry Potter film and I can now put that whole series behind me forever (I will not forgive JK for killing off Fred). I have come to terms with the fact that I am a gigantic 14 year old boy and will always be so and I don't care who the hell knows it anymore. I've gotten over the massive funk I've been in for several years and am currently working on a whole new set of neuroses to overcome. I've started a hobby that is about creation, not consumerism and accumulation. I'm slowly but surely getting my crap together. I'm enjoying my work. (More importantly, I have a job. way too many people can't say that). Family is doing well. The Braves were really, really good for five months. See? Not a bad year, at least in my neck of the woods. Most importantly I can see this and freely admit it for once. The world isn't terrible, everything doesn't suck.

A lot of blogs are posting the successes for failures of their collecting goals right now. I guess I did ok. I've stopped buying a lot of crap, I've gotten slightly more organized (slightly) and I think I've finally given up on Football, Basketball and especially Hockey. Thanks, Gary. One stated goal was to get wantlists up for every Topps set from '52-'07. I got up to 1980 and that's good enough. I've actually got a few other lists together but I haven't posted them because I don't need people sending me stuff right now. The ones I have up are enough. I also wanted to complete some team sets and some series from older sets and I was able to get that dome. Pretty good year I guess, collecting wise. My goals for 2012 are also ambitious, but I think I can do it if I try. That's for another post though.

One other goal I set for myself. Back on September 1st I decided I was going to do some drawing every day. the drawing eventually came to include sketching with pastels and painting. I have managed to keep this up and do ze Art every single day since then whether I wanted to or not. And trust me, there were days I had no interest in doing anything, especially art. But, I kept it up and I can definitely see marked improvement from when I started 4 months ago. Plus, I'm enjoying myself which is really the point, ya know? I had a couple of other goals in mind when I started drawing. I wanted to do drawings/paintings for the family for Christmas. That didn't happen. I'm getting better, but I'm not quite there yet. I also wanted to do a full size painting for the first time since 1990. I had bought the paper and brushes two years ago and never got around to it. Truth be told, even though I've been painting smaller things this month I still had a mental block on doing a big one. Last night I said hell with it, paint something, dammit. I had a few beers, watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas to jazz myself up, splooched some paint on the palette and Got 'er Done. Behold: The Great and Powerful Trixie.


What, you expected the Mona Lisa? Fine. Just for you, since you've put up with my insanity all year.


I think she looks nice with a stache, goatee and boob job. Enjoy your New Years, everyone. Go out and buy a ticket and take that ride. See you next year...

My absolute favorite player when I was a kid on what I considered to be my very first card ever until someone in my class swiped it twenty-something years ago. I started this one back in October and just now finished it up tonight. I think I'm going to break out the pastels to color it so I've left out the logos and most of  the details for now.



I have three sketch cards and some paintings to work on though, so this one is going to be on the back burner for a while.

This one came from Jeremy over at No One's Going to Read this Blog. This card probably impacted the eventual course of my life more than anything else last year other than actual important things like family and work and such. Emothions went a little haywire over this card, which I received in the middle of my 'not posting' period early last year. I went from amazed by the card, to impressed by the talent to create it, to jealous of that talent, to depressed because I couldn't do something like this, to defiant against the idea that I couldn't do something like this, to inspired to draw Al Hrabosky, then some doodles, then Woody Allen and Larry David looking at badly drawn naked women (don't ask) then... ponies. Not sure what (if anything) I traded for this, but Jeremy is on the sketch card list, just as soon as I figure out something to draw that comes close to this.

Wooo it's the blog's birthday! Let's see how I feel about the state of the card industry!




Not necessarily saying that there won't be a 6th birthday for the blog, but there's definitely going to be some drastic changes around here. Assuming the whole thing doesn't just go poof into the aether when SOPA passes, of course.


This was my Christmas present to myself do don't expect regular posting for a couple weeks...


Never played Majora's Mask, looking forward to that one.

UPDATE: Ponies were demanded and ponies thou shalt have.

The '76 Binder got bulked out a bit with the Secret Santa package. there were more pages completed but I lost track of 'em.



Yes, for vintage sets I pack 'em in two to a pocket. Old school style.

There IS a Sanity Clause!!!


That 70's Card dude (does s/he have a name?) to be specific. He drew my name in Bad Wax's Secret Santa and here's the swag:

12% of the 1976 Topps set (85 cards off the wantlist!)


3 1974 Topps cards, 2 of which I bought a couple weeks ago (oops)


J-Hey Rookie Refractor


And a Freddie Freeman USA Baseball auto.


That's a helluva Christmas right there! Thanks bro!

Merry Christmas and/or The holiday of your choice (especially if it's Festivus)!

NO PEEKING.



It ain't but a few more hours, you can make it.

Also:

BURLAP IS BEAUTIFUL GOD DAMMIT


how the frelling frak is it two hours from christmas eve i haven't bought anything for anyone i've probably got tonsillitis or at least strep and I still have a bunch of work to do even though i'm technically off the rest of the year OH SHIIIIIII- two family dinners tomorrow maybe i'll die in my sleep and won't have to go dear god what has happened to my life


Seriously folks, I got nothin' right now. I don't even know why I'm posting. Here's an Alien playing Vonnegut on the gee-taur.



What? it's like three letters difference.

Here's a '75 card I didn't have.


Even if I already had it I might have redeemed it anyway. Why?


Just because.

Well, I said you could force me to read the Great Gatsby and you done it. 21 votes out of 45 (and I voted twice) led the pack by a wide margin. So, I'm reading the thing. I'm up to chapter 5 and so far it's like being at a party where I don't know anyone and the people I meet I don't particularly like and that's ok because most of the guests there are looking down on me and avoiding me at all costs so I'm just downing as much free booze as possible and hanging out in the library checking out all the other books I could be reading. Oh, and every once in a while I see a cockroach on the buffet table or a dead mouse behind the bar. I'm contemplating just ripping out page 73/74 for the squicky racial references. Oh, and there's a few Gatsby cartoons in Hark, A Vagrant! which I've also been reading so I kinda spoiled the ending a bit. Oh, but it's good though. Images... Images everywhere. Doc Ecklebergs' eyeballs will be staring me in the back of the head until I finish the damn thing so once I get this posted I'll get back to reading. Here's the rest of the reading queue.


This one didn't technically end up in the top three, but I'm reading it on Christmas anyway. While watching A Christmas Story. And if anyone bothers me I'm pounding them like Scott Farkus.


Ah, here we go... the perfect counter to Gatsby. F. Scott may have had Zelda, but Bruce had Ossie Davis as Jack Kennedy. I think we all know who wins there!I have no idea what to expect from this one. I flipped through the pages and there's pictures and graphs and stuff in there. I hope I didn't make a terrible mistake by thinking this is a novel and not an actual self-help book explaining how to make love the Bruce Campbell way because there's a picture of Bruce and Jack Nicholson in there and I don't really want to know how to make love like that.


NOT looking forward to this one. Especially in my current morbidly depressed state of mind. (Did I mention I inexplicably and irrationally hate Christmas this year for some reason?) The peeps have spoken though, and I can't very well be a comics hipster without reading this even once no matter how often I hang out on /co/.


Finish up with a baseball book. I drew the dude, I may as well read him. If I knock these suckers out before January I might jump into The Illuminatus! Trilogy. I have a week off next week and got today off because I got a sore throat last night which made me nauseous when I brushed my teeth and I puked this morning right as my carpool got here so I'm sick and embarrassed. That information probably wasn't really necessary. The point is I will have some down time and a horrible case of drawer's block and I'm almost done with my Arrested Development DVDs so I'll have a lot of time to read. What's that you say? Why don't I just blog about cards? What a ridiculous question.

I got nothin' funny today. Here's the vintagiest vintage I managed to pull from the Transmogrifier.


BLUH. Senators. Don't talk to me about congressmen right now. Stupid mumble grrrrrr. My anger is somewhat mitigated by my confusion over this photo. How exactly did this shot become "Topps Generic Pitcher Pose #24"? I've seen pitchers doing this plenty of times on cards, not so much during an actual follow through on a pitch. As far as I can tell he's making a gang symbol with his right hand. Or perhaps he's signaling to a girl in the crowd that, yes, he is willing to go two in the pink, but no further. A man has to draw the line somewhere. Whatever the hell he's doing Jim looks just as perplexed about the whole thing as I am. Perhaps these poses are an elaborate troll by the Topps photographer.

 Here comes another one...



.

Here's another redemption from the Topps Diamond thingy.


This one came in a 4-for-1 deal for a 1990 Nolan Ryan Highlight card. there was a '74 Dave LaRoche, a '76 Tony Taylor, a '80 Larry Christenson and Tidrow. That seems like a slick deal, but Dick is the only one I actually had shipped. The other three were dumped. I can't remember if I redeemed Tidrow because I needed this card for the set or just for the epic moostache. I shaved my goatee once to give myself a mustache like that one time and my wife scolded me until I shaved it completely. Then she told me to grow the beard back because I looked weird with no facial hair (and she's right - I look like Peter Griffin, but dorky) and that made me sad. Dangit, I'm being a downer again. HEY LOOK - BASEBALL GAME



Fly out. DOWNER.

Here's something happy since I'm a downer. Enjoy it, after Wednesday it'll be a felony.



Ok folks, there's less than a week 'till Christmas, I'm completely burned out, I hate cards right now, I hate Christmas even worse, you all are sick of me posting ponies and I just don't give a crap anymore. I'm mailing it in. Besides, once SOPA is shoved up our asses we'll all get legally shut down anyway the moment we criticize any of the major players in the industry so what's the point of making any effort. And anyone complaining too loudly about SOPA will be permanently taken care of with the NDAA. So fuck it. I'm a powerless serf and I'll keep posting stupid shit to the interwebs to amuse myself for as long as my masters allow it. Throughout the holidays you're getting Transmogrified cards.

1977 Topps Juan Beniquez. I'm meh about '77 Topps and I love 1978 Topps but I've somehow managed to accumulate way more of the '77s. This one was traded for a 1977 Richie Zisk that I already had. Like most of the '70s cards I redeemed this was in decent shape. Corners are a bit soft and it you stare at it long enough you can see the slightest hint of a wrinkle going through the RANGERS on top. It will fit in with the other '77 detritus in my collection.

Unfreed Die-Cuts since you can't see them worth crap in the viddy:







My favorite related video to this one:


Nomnomnom!

There was a mild kerfuffle on the bloggerwebs yesterday as there were at least a half a dozen posts about 2011 Topps American Pie being an actual thing. Knowing that I have not been paying attention to new products at all lately The Dean of Card Bloggery was kind enough to inform me of this fact.



Wow, this has totally broken my formatting. Lemme, um, hold up a sec.










Ah, here we go. With all due respect to the Dean, my answer is:



You see, while American Pie May have a Frank Zappa card and a Ramones card and maybe even a Frank Black card it doesn't have the best Frank Zappa card ever in it. I've got that one.



Now if there's a Don Van Vliet card in there, I'm on it.

Nope, I didn't draw this card of Sir Charles. This was an actual card in an actual licensed product, 1999 Upper deck MVP Basketball. I found this thing looking for some Mavs cards for Big D over at Hey, That's Mine! Jason James Kline drew this masterpiece and it was selected as a winner for Upper Deck's Draw Your Own Card contest. How fabulous is this card? Let us count the ways.

Louis XVI Chair - Check.
Butler - Check.
Basketball on a Silver Platter - Check.
Monocle - Check.
Ruffled Cuffs - Check.
With no sleeves - Check.
Legs crossed English style - Check.
Might be a walking stick, might be a Wizard's wand - Check.
Daintily sipping tea - Check.
PINKIE MOTHAF@$%#ING EXTENDED - Now that's class right there.

Now this is how a sketch card is done.


Since Big D is a Mavs fan and they just won a Championship, I figured a basketball subject might be a good one for his sketch card. I don't remember any of these trades anymore, I think he sent me some stickers. Who's the face of the Mavs? Why, Dirk Nowitzki of course. Here was my attempt:


Not bad, but it ain't no Sir Charles. I was thinking of these old Topps inserts when I originally came up with the idea. I regret now not doing this one on sketch paper and pasting it on card stock to copy the original dimensions. I think this would have worked better if Dirk was a little more lanky and noodley. Dirk is a little short on the standard sized card. The final sketch looks more like the the Dallas Mavs made a guest appearance on A Pup Named Scooby Doo after the Harlem Globetrotters cancelled. Dirk could be Shaggy's long-lost older brother. Which could work because...


Just look at that face. That's an awesome face! I didn't just dive into this one, I did a little planning beforehand.


Let's block everything out, figure out a pose...


Let's take that pose on a test run. Uh oh! Watch those hands, Dirk! The face isn't quite right. Time to experiment.


Hey, art isn't always pretty. This is kinda horrifying actually. Once I decided I couldn't draw another eye without gouging my own out I figured out the color pallette and dove right in. I shoulda practiced some more.

Ways Dirk is not as fabulous as Charles:

Dirk is 12.
With a full goatee.
Soft, gentle eyes instead of crazy caveman eyes like I wanted.
Still can't draw hands.
Totally ran out of room for the legs and it shows.
KNEES DO NOT GO THERE.

I am however, proud of that hair. Sir Charles wishes he had hair like that.