Well, another Turk Off is over and Beardy is the winner. His win was historic. In fact, it's the first time in history that a Turk Off was won by anyone other than myself.

Even if it was a fluke; even if it took an almost supernatural turn of events, it is never-the-less A Beardy victory.

For those of you who are having trouble grasping the true significance and nature of this victory, it's like the 1980 USA hockey team pulling off their historic upset over the previously indestructible Soviets at the height of their power. Yes, I would not be surprised to see this made into an epic movie after a few years go by and the dust has settled.

Here's the theoretical cast:

Beardy - Jack Elam
Motherscratcher - Billy Jacoby
Dayf - Sam Elliott
Dubbs - Leif Garrett
Canuck - Yvonne Strahovski

For those that are worried that I'm going to stiff Beardy out of his winnings, I have made this post for 2 simple reasons:

1. To compare Beardy to Jack Elam
2. To link to a picture of Yvonne Strahovski
3. To show off my obscure pop culture acumen
4. To let everyone know that I'm still the best Turker, no matter the final score.
5. To give Beardy a glimpse into his glorious future.

So, here is that glimpse:
There will be no money. I cannot promise that you will receive total consciousness on your deathbed. But I can offer a few cards and maybe something represented by the above picture. It is a legendary Cleveland Christmas tradition.

I hope your package arrives before Christmas. And, I hope that the contents are up to the standard that a Turk Off Champions deserves.

Once, again, well done Beardy.

OK, so it looks like my euphoria over getting 2 relics and an auto was misguided, as Beardy pulled a second relic to go with his auto as well. I could have sworn I only got 2 relics in my other box. Oh well, that's OK.

You might also have noticed that Beardy's miniscule lead held up as well. I couldn't believe it. My packs were all better than his. In fact, if either of us had pulled any of those packs in a different order, I would have regained the lead. It's really amazing, actually.

Does it surprise me? Not is the least. You see, I know how good Beardy is at the Turk Off game. If I had been playing someone else, like Dubbs or Canuck, this would have been over long ago. When it comes to a well played Turk Off those guys are faqin amateurs.

But not Beardy. Well played good sir.

Here is my final submission.

Pack 21:

575 Conference On The Mound CL -1pts
344 Chris Carpenter
624 Fausto Carmona 2pts The ying to Westbrook's bottom of the rotation yang. I can't believe these gus are our 1 and 2.



617 Erick Aybar
418 Noah Lowry Red 2pts


576 Touch 'Em All Cl
611 Jose Capellan
552 Mike Lieberthal

Pack Total: 3 pts


Pack 22:

381 Mark Grudzielanek
496 Kameron Loe -2pts
470 Miguel Tejada
486 BJ Ryan White 5 pts


525 Robinson Cano Red 2/2 = 1pts


491 Rich Harden
479 Brandon Webb
389 Orlando Carbera

Pack Total: 4 pts


Pack 23:

398 Joe Nathan
503 Roy Halladay
432 Matt Holliday
403 JD Drew Black 10pts JD Drew crushed my dreams a few years ago with a grand slam in the ALCS. And the Red Sox fans still don't like him.


611 Jose Capellan Red 2pts


621 Jason Kubel
626 John Rheinecker
404 Bruce Chen 2pts Anyone ever see that movie "They Call Me Bruce"? I used to love that movie. Not that it has anything to do with anything.


Pack Total: 14 pts


Pack 24:

518 Andy Pettite
513 Mike Mussina -1pts
508 Tim Hudson (Damn, wrong uni again)
556 Willy Tavarez
316 Alez Rodriguez Red 2/2 = 1pts


JR Jose Reyes Relic 8pts Another Relic! Can you believe it? I know it's still only 8 points, but another one. That isn't normal, is it? 4 hits in this box?


578 Bunting The Runner Over Cl

Pack Total: 8 pts

B-18 Blanket: Carlos Lee 5pts I have no idea what the heck I'm supposed to do with this.


Well there it is. Finito.

I tried to psych Beardy out a little bit by telling him that I had some good stuff coming up. It wasn't really a lie, as I did pull another hit. (And how crazy is it that it came in my last pack?) But, the truth is I need to win 3 of the last 4 packs and I don't think I have the juice to do it. Not unless I get really lucky. No, Beardy's masterfully played 17-20 packs sealed my fate. That was my 99MPH fastball with 2 strikes and he fouled it back. Kept that at bat alive.

I tip my cap.

No matter what the outcome I have a nice little prize for the Beardman. I wish it included some great Orioles cards, but it probably won't. I haven't busted enough wax in the last 6 months to come up with anything very good. But, I hope he'll enjoy it anyway.

I know there are those of you out there who are feeling really good about yourselves because you predicted a Beardy victory. Well, go ahead, bask in the glow. You might have been right this time. But not because you know anything about the Turk Off.

I think you just picked him because you like dudes with Beards.

OK, so last round goes to Beardy. If I had more than a dozen or so people ever visit my site I'm sure the voting would go through the roof for him. Heck, all you doubters were voting for Beardy at the beginning when I was kicking his fur covered ass from here to Sean Henn.

So, now I bet you all think you're pretty smart don't you. Think you're pretty slick. Now that Beardy is in the lead y'all think you got one up on the old Scratcher now doncha?

Well get a load of what's coming here. It'll blow your mind. I know it blew mine.

All kidding aside, these were some great packs. I don't know how Beardy can hold the lead with what I pulled here.

Check this out:

Pack 17:

351 Mike Piazza
619 Joel Zumaya
622 Drew Meyer
359 Javier Vazquez Gold 20pts Sweet friggin gold card. Not that it's a big surprise. I figured there was one lurking in the box somewhere. I can only hope that Beardy didn't pull one out on the same pack and have it be an Add Back or something. Actually, I kind of hope he does because that would be a kick ass card.



429 Johan Santana Red 2x2 = 4pts See what I mean? I'm on a roll.


612 Lastings Milledge
577 Around The Horn CL
557 Mike Maroth

Pack Total: 24 pts



Pack 18:

376 Miguel Olivo
594 Jeff Mathis
572 Pujols At Bat CL 2pts


349 Mariano Rivera Red 2/2 = 1pts


541 Ronny Cedeno SP 5pts Lots a good stuff in this pack and it's just getting warmed up.



JM Joe Mauer Relic 8pts My third hit! I don't know. I can't remember, but I think I only got 2 relics in my last box. This box I have 2 relics and an auto. I'll be disappointed if it turns out that all boxes have this. Right now I think I got one of those rare boxes with extra hits. It feels like it should be worth more than 8 points, Mauer being the MVP and all, but I'll take it.



368 Johnny Estrada

Pack Total: 16 pts


Pack 19:

564 Trot Nixon
512 Brandon Inge
567 Shawn Chacon -1pts After that Mauer hit, not even Chacon can bring me down.
439 Matt Morris Red 2pts


532 Scott Rolen SP 5pts What happened to this guy? Is he any good anymore? I don't even know where he plays now. I want to say Toronto, but I don't know for sure. Does anyone know? Has anyone looked in Larussa's trunk?




586 Mickey Mantle 2/2 = 1 pts Whenever I see the Mick I think of the story that Jim Bouton told in his book Ball Four. He said that Mickey owned a restaurant and at the end of the night you got a free meal if you could guess which table Mickey was under. (For all you kids out there - that means he drank a lot.)



601 Brian Slocum 2pts



453 Jake Westbrook 2pts Speak of the one armed devil (who will probably be toeing the rubber for the Tribe on opening day. Has there ever been a season with 162 rainouts?


Pack Total: 11 pts


Pack 20:

599 Ian Kinsler 2pts I've loved Ian Kinsler ever since he ended up on my fantasy team by accident because I drafted 2B last. He ended up being the best 2B in the league that year. Also, everyone likes him because he's the small white guy who everyone is contractually obligated to call gritty and say things like "he plays the game the right way" and "he's a gamer" and other stuff. Unlike most of those guys, he's also really talented and can, you know, play the game the right way. And, effectively too. I think that's the important part.


484 Casey Blake 2pts


546 Vincente Padilla
479 Brandon Webb Red 2pts


325 Magglio Ordonez SP Ad Back 5x3 = 15pts Well, I'll be a horses behind. I told Beardy that I didn't think there were any Ad Backs in the base set because I didn't pull a single one in my other box. Then he pulled one. I thought I was going crazy. Now I pulled one too. I'm beginning to think that my other box was just a major dud.



468 Curtis Granderson
441 Zach Duke
452 Hank Blalock

Pack Total: 21 pts

Well, there you go. 4 pretty solid scores, if I do say so myself. And I do. You should really listen to what I have to say. I'm one of the world's foremost authorities on Turk Offs so I know what I'm talking about. So when I tell you that these are 4 stellar packs you can pretty much take that to the bank.

I guess that this is as good a chance as any for a clean sweep, but I really doubt it. I'm hoping to pull back into the lead but it wouldn't be surprised by a tie this round. Just take a look at the competition. Beardy wouldn't have gotten this far if he wasn't an expert Turker and he's obviously no pushover.

Oh yeah...that's right...you all know that already. Most of you voted for the Beardmeister.

Well, the Turk Off is neck and neck. Beardy is ahead in the popular vote while I maintain my slight edge in the electoral college. We all know which one of those counts.

I see that Beardy put up his next batch of packs. I'm dying to see what he got but I decided to get my post up first. There's no particular reason why. It's just the way I decided to do it.

The following takes place between pack 13 and pack 16 of the Turk Off:


Pack 13:

589 Stan Musial 2pts Stan the Man. As awesome as this guy is the card should be worth more than 2.


598 Josh Barfield
480 Phil Nevin
363 Hideki Matsui 2/2 = 1pts


467 Mark Buehrle SP 5 pts



367 Jay Gibbons 2pts


378 Coco Crisp -2pts
463 Mike Lowell

Pack Total: 8 pts



Pack 14:

386 Cliff Lee 2pts It would be nice to have C.C. and Cliff as our 1 and 2 starters next season. Yeah you don't run across back to back Cy Young winners all that often. But, we'll go into this season with a rotation featuring one guy who hasn't pitched in almost 2 years due to Tommy John surgery and another who was sent to SINGLE A to try to remember how to pitch. So that should be pretty good to.


324 Jimmy Rollins
349 Mariano Rivera -1pts
532 Scott Rolen White 5pts


491 Rich Harden Red 2pts



630 Justin Verlander 2pts Detroit will probably suck next year to, but at least they get to watch this guy every 5 days.


335 AJ Burnett
628 Michael Pelfrey

Pack Total: 10 pts


Pack 15:

538 Jose Vidro
544 Chris Capuano
402 John Patterson
336 Mike Sweeney
441 Zach Duke Red 2pts Man, a lot of guys named Zach around lately. I love that show Chuck and maybe my opinion is colored due to his character, but Zachary Levi looks like the most unlikeliest guy to be named Zach I've ever seen. Zach. Zach. It's such a weird name to begin with.


526 Jeff Kent
539 Alex Gonzalez
434 Joe Blanton

Pack Total: 2 pts


Pack 16:

554 Jeff Francis
613 Fransisco Liriano
536 Kelvim Escobar
499 Marcus Giles White 5pts


431 Ben Sheets Red 2pts


560 Vernon Wells
550 Curt Schilling
379 Moises Alou

Pack Total: 7 pts

I don't know what to make of this set. Only one really bad score, but also none that are untouchable. Of course I thought 32 was untouchable. I'm prepared to go 0-4 here, but I'm expecting to split it. I'll find out directly.

If there's one good thing that comes from the Turk Off...wait, what the heck am I talking about? There are COUNTLESS good things that come from the Turk Off. But, here's one of them: we now have a name for my years long obsession with getting Curtis Granderson to grow a huge fro. The "Granderfro" is the perfect name for what would ultimately be a glorious hairsyale of indescribable beauty.

So dubbed by the illustrious Commissioner Dayf, proving once again that while I may be a silly little blogger, he is an artist.

But back to the Turk Off and Beardy's formidable latest submission. Do I have the stones to stave off what could be a clean sweep by the Wonderbeard? Read on to find out.

Pack 9:

417 Bobby Crosby
412 Doug Davis
435 Sean Casey
534 Doug Mientkiewicz
573 Bonds On Deck CL Red 2pts


409 Carlos Guillen
391 Jermaine Dye
506 Rickie Weeks

Pack Total: 2 pts


Pack 10:

318 Shawn Green
446 Orlando Hernandez
443 Kris Benson -2pts Oh crap. I didn't realize when I made the negative player list that Benson was an Oriole. I thought he played for someone else. Oh well, I'll take the hit here. I think if Beardy pulls a Benson he should get his 2 points, though. It was my mistake.


542 Mark Hendrickson White 5pts


316 Alex Rodriguez Red Add Back 2x3 = 6pts I know he's a Yankee, but he's in his M's uni so I didn't take the penalty. I think that is proper scoring. May need a ruling by the Commish.



382 Justin Morneau
377 Roy Oswalt
603 Nat McLouth

Pack Total: 9 pts


Pack 11:

505 Pedro Martinez 2pts I'd be much more excited by a Pedro card if it didn't look so much like Gary Carter standing there on the pitcher's mound.


585 Tom Seaver 2pts Sweet retired player card. I'm a little jealous of Beardy's Nolan Ryan, though. Not because Ryan is better than Seaver (I don't think he is), but because Ryan's stirrups look so awesome in his card. Be sure to check it out at Beardy's Blog.


531 Chad Cordero
408 Jaime Moyer
393 Paul Lo Duca Red 2pts


504 Victor Martinez 2pts Seeing Victor again in his Tribe uni brings a smile to my face, while the tears roll down.


514 Mike Cameron
562 Kenny Rogers

Pack Total: 8 pts


Pack 12:

523 Dan Haren
459 Xavier Nady (Damn, no SP. Wrong uni.)
423 Vinny Castilla
341 Dontrelle Willis Red 2pts


524 Adrian Gonzalez SP 5pts


602 Matt Kemp
CB Clint Barmes Red Auto 25pts Nice! A red auto! I was hoping for some kind of auto variation. Can't knock this card.



355 Adam Dunn

Pack Total: 32 pts

Well it looks like I'm going to barely hang on to the Turk Off lead after a historic set of packs that includes the first ever Turk Off tie. It will be neck and neck going into the bottom half of the Turk Off.

It was a mighty blow losing the pack that I pulled the Red Auto in. I mean, what the heck are the chances that we are both going to pull a red auto in the same friggin' pack? I guess the way it played out is fair because McCann is better than Barmes. It's disappointing none-the-less.

With all of the big hits out of the way it will be small ball down the stretch.

And, while I have been holding my own in the poling, Beardy still leads. This despite the fact that I've been winning the Turk Off for the entire time? What's wrong with you people?