So, Do You Like ... Stuff?

I’ve been chewing more gum lately. (If that sentence hasn’t pulled you into this column, then I give up on trying exciting new ledes.) Why? Glad you asked. It all started, like many fascinating stories do, because I had water in my ear. Still do, actually, and I’m pretty sure there is some kind of infection happening there. Whatever. The point is, the water was making my ears and head pop. What to do? Then, I remembered all those times I forgot to bring gum on an airplane because riding airplanes also makes your ears pop. I thought, “Hmmm, maybe I’ll try some gum …” So I left work for a few hours and walked down to Circle K to find some gum. There it was, right by the candy bars and barefoot woman muttering profanities to herself. So many options though! Which kind of gum did I want? The kind where I can blow huge bubbles or the kind from the commercials that makes the Eskimo girl wearing a fur coat and bikini want to kiss you? I played it conservative with brand recognition an...