When first getting into IT I realized that there were a lot of common terms that were used that I did not know the meaning of. Some of these terms were words that I thought I knew the meaning of because they were found outside of IT circles, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I decided I should keep a list of these terms somewhere that other new to IT people could reference and not feel quite so lost. Enter this Repo.
Acknowledge. Used when receiving confirmation that something was understood or completed. Could also apply when someone finally admits they broke something: "Yeah, I ACK, it was me."
When an application is in an equivalent state to FUBAR.
Although it may be obvious to some who this refers to, there is a deeper meaning in the IT world. These are the people that will keep your job needed. No matter what discipline of IT you work in. And no, it isn’t because they write the checks. You will see it when you deal with them.
You know that type of person that is just absolutely narcissistic, god's gift to mankind, and for some reason, you just want to smack them as soon as they walk through the room? So imagine that person's aura, and put it on anything from humans to computer applications. This is a douche waffle.
I'm a teapot client error response code indicates that the server refuses to brew coffee because it is, permanently, a teapot. A combined coffee/tea pot that is temporarily out of coffee should instead return 503.
Acronym for Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition (or Repair). Please see the definition for fucked.
Depends on usage.
- If from Consumers, salespeople, or other non-technical people: This serves as a warning for initiation of the ID10T protocol.
- If used by hyper-technical people such as sysadmins: This serves as a warning for a resume-generating event.
Zero. Used when something critical like bandwidth, disk space, or patience is completely gone. As in, “Server’s down, bandwidth’s at GooseEgg, and I’m going home.”
The people that are going to complain about everything you say, do, or think about doing. Also, these are the people that want to do things like have group meetings and get-to-know-you type events. Avoid at all costs. Find your company operations team, they will tell you where the HR-free zones are located.
Pronounced eye dee ten tee. Can also be referred to as the eye dee ten tee RFC, or other technical writing standards. If you type this, you can see it is l33t speak for idiot, but it should never be typed to the person initiating the protocol (in other words, the idiot).
Describes something that’s poorly put together or barely functional. "This janky script is held together by hope and a few missing semicolons."
K Desktop Environment. A graphical interface for Linux that’s as loved by some as it is confusing to others. “KDE is like that IKEA desk you bought: looks great once it’s assembled, but getting there is the real task.”
Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. A fictional "tool" used by sysadmins to metaphorically knock sense into users. Often referred to when a user is beyond help and needs more than just a reboot to fix their issues.
May The Force Be With You. A sarcastic "good luck" said to someone about to embark on fixing an incredibly complex or doomed task.
The real, physical world as opposed to the digital or virtual. When you’re tired of debugging code and just want to go outside and breathe some "Meatspace" air.
To reduce the effectiveness or strength of something, often used in gaming but can apply to software updates that limit functionality. "They totally nerfed this tool in the latest update."
Out of Memory. What happens when a process demands more resources than your system can handle. Also describes how you feel at the end of a long week: “I'm totally OOM.”
See definition for PEBKAC.
Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair. Basically, the user has initiated the ID10T protocol. Can also be used as PEBCAK.
Slang for something that works flawlessly across four monitors. "I got my new setup running quadtastic."
Get ready boys and girls, someone fucked some shit and we’re going to be looking for a new place of employment tomorrow.
Request for Comments. TL;DR; A great read for bedtime, if you ever read one you will know why. Exception: Any RFC submitted on April 1st of any year. Those are actually pretty funny.
Two definitions:
- Read The Fucking Manual
- Read The Fucking Monitor.
Basically, a warning to technical people they are on the verge of initiating the ID10T protocol themselves because the answer to their question is in the documentation, the stack trace on the monitor, or a quick and simple Google/Stack Overflow search away. Can also be used when frustrated with non-technical people for their lack of willingness to read the documentation about a piece of software they are to use.
Code that’s so tangled and hard to follow, fixing one issue leads to ten more, and you'll need a plate of pasta by the end of it to soothe your brain.
HR-safe way to say Tits Up (I must specifically attribute this to G, you know who you are brother).
Too Long, Didn't Read: Basically, this is your buddy saving you from a long, boring (likely written by a c-level/manager/HR type of person) read and giving you an efficient summary of whatever BS the document is about.
Dead as fuck. Please also see the definition for FUBAR.
An elite-level expert, the go-to person for solving problems that no one else can. Typically the last resort before declaring the issue FUBAR.
A powerful, albeit sometimes confusing, text editor in Unix/Linux. If you can quit VI on the first try, you’ve achieved IT enlightenment.
Software or hardware that is announced with great fanfare but either never materializes or is delayed indefinitely. "Oh yeah, that feature is total vaporware."
What The Fuck. Universally understood in IT when something goes wrong in the most unexpected or inexplicable way. "I opened the log file and just... WTF."
Computing devices are acting like douche waffles.
Exclusive OR. A logical operation used in programming and cryptography that returns true when only one of the inputs is true. Also describes a situation where only one of two possible outcomes can happen, but no one knows which.
Your Mileage May Vary. A disclaimer for when a solution worked for one person but may not work for another, especially when dealing with buggy software. "Here’s the fix that worked for me, but YMMV."
An exaggerated version of OMG (Oh My God). Used for extreme reactions, typically when a disaster is even worse than anticipated. "ZOMG, the server crashed during the backup!"