Director of recursive obfuscation for omnidirectional media disbursement and stochastic community scaffolding via the Open Ambiguity Protocol. Former chief architect of technical specificity at the International Consortium for Situational Systematic Redundancy and Programmatic Regression Analysis. Previously, lead team lead at CorpCorp, where I spearheaded initiatives in cyclical dependency injection and overengineered solution architectures.
- Industrial Inconvenience Engineering & Applied Confusion
- Force Push & Pray (FPP) — Certified
- Verbose Abstraction (with an emphasis on cubic regression and existential dread)
- Liquification
- Analytical Analysis
- Foxes (not the sly ones — the ones that keep eating the cables in the server room)
If “registry hive corruption as a service” ever hits GitHub trending, I’m switching back to Windows.