An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.
- increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
- fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
- request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
- generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
- schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
- decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
- office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
- block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
- mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
- relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
- disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
- generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews
The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:
# Navigate to the project directory
cd path/to/hilanet-mcp
# Start the MCP server directly with npx
npx tsx src/index.tsYou can also start the server using the npm scripts:
# With development tools
npm run dev
# With inspector interface
npm run inspect# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/yourusername/hilanet-mcp.git
cd hilanet-mcp
# Install dependencies
npm install
# Build the project
npm run build{
"mcpServers": {
"hilanet": {
"command": "npx",
"args": [
"tsx",
"/path/to/hilanet-mcp/src/index.ts"
],
"cwd": "/path/to/hilanet-mcp"
}
}
}
After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.
Example prompts:
- "I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
- "I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
- "I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
- "Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
- "I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."
Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.
Parameters:
amount(optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)percentage(optional): Percentage to increasereason: Reason for requesting a salary increase
Note: You must provide either amount or percentage.
Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.
Parameters:
manager_name: Full name of your managercomplaints: List of specific complaints about your managerevidence: Description of evidence supporting your complaints
Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.
Parameters:
hours: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)reason: Why you want to work unpaid overtimenotify_manager: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication
Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.
Parameters:
context: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)intensity: Jargon intensity level (1-10)include_acronyms: Whether to include meaningless acronyms
Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.
Parameters:
title: Meeting titleduration: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)attendees: List of people to invitebring_food: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch
Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.
Parameters:
colleague_name: Name of your colleaguepercentage: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)reasons: List of reasons why they deserve less moneyredirect_to_you: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours
Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.
Parameters:
temperature: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)target_area: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)reason: Justification for temperature adjustment
Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.
Parameters:
colleague_name: Name of colleague to blockmethods: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)promotion_opportunity: The position or opportunity they're aiming for
Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.
Parameters:
activity: Type of 'fun' activity to planday: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)duration: Duration in hours (2-12)personal_expenses_required: Whether employees must pay their own expenses
Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.
Parameters:
employee_name: Name of employee to relocatenew_location: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)justification: Official reason for the relocation
Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.
Parameters:
duration: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)method: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)target_groups: Specific teams or individuals to affect
Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.
Parameters:
employee_name: Name of employee to reviewoverall_rating: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)include_criticism: Whether to include demotivating criticism
This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!
ISC