Drifting
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I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.
jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.
I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I’ve never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.
this put such a vivid image in my head i needed to make it real as soon as i got home
This makes me indescribably overjoyed.
(via nuka-rockit)
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Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk
Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump
So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.
BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.
Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’
The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low
BUT NEVER ZERO.
(via just-absolutely-super)
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The poem is, of course, the Two-Headed Calf by Laura Gilpin. I’m planning on a slab of stained glass to slide into the gap between the mountain layers, with a doubled set of gold stars on it. I may wind up doing multiple “skies” that could be swapped out as desired, just for funsies. I could do a ceramic tile with perforations, maybe, or even a watercolor on heavy paper…
(via memento-more-tea)
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so my brother was telling me about this human resources certification he attended a while ago. in a panel, the panelist asked a bunch of people in attendance, “who here knows if an applicant for a job is right for it in under 60 seconds?”
hands shot up around the room, people smug about their ability to “weed out the riff-raff” when it came to hiring for their fortune 500.
“you should all be fired and probably in jail,” they said, waiting for the whole room to get uncomfortable, then continued, “because the only things you can really learn about a human being in under 60 seconds are all things that are fueled by prejudices and biases covered by american law. so now, i will teach you how to stop being racist, sexist, judgmental assholes and hire people that will better your company of employ.”
I need this to be force taught at all companies
Thank you so much for reblogging this at EXACTLY the right moment because this exact post is what I was thinking of when admiring this magnificent post about Shackleton’s polar expedition recruitment methods
(via geekwiththeglasses)
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Turns out the horsemen of the Apocalypse now prefer to go by Shareholder Profit, Private Equity, Corporate Personhood, and Workforce Optimization.
Shareholder Profit: War (the casus belli for attacks on workers’ rights)
Private Equity: Pestilence (they are parasites that voraciously strip the value out of a healthy business until it withers and dies)
Workforce Optimization: Famine (cutting hours and employees until the business is starved of staff, barely functioning)
Corporate Personhood: Death (a hollow, shambling mockery of a human with rights and needs)
Yeah I can work with that.
(via memento-more-tea)
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Oouuuhhhhh you are not majestic but you are having so much fun
(via memento-more-tea)
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The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part.
I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don’t install customer parts.
So I figured if they won’t install customer parts, they’ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle.
So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn’t sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor.
Ho l y
Imma try that last one
I went to my doctor’s office and asked if they had any slots open for that day. They told me they don’t take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment.
So I pulled out my phone and called the office. The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say “I’d like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available.”
He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time?
I said “Yep, I’m standing right here.”
He didn’t understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down.
I hung up and said to the original receptionist, “Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes.”
She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms.
bureaucracy works hard but humans work harder
(via memento-more-tea)
