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Hollywood Shuffle

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Hollywood Shuffle is a 1987 satirical film about an actor limited to stereotypical roles because of his ethnicity who dreams of making it big as a highly respected performer. As he makes his rounds, the film takes a satiric look at African American actors in Hollywood.

Directed by Robert Townsend. Written by Keenen Ivory Wayans, Robert Townsend, and Dom Irrera (uncredited).
Bobby Taylor was on his way to becoming a star, when a funny thing happened...

Bobby Taylor

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  • I have the respect of the community, and that makes me proud...So if you can't take pride in your job, remember, there's always work at the post office..

Mr. Jones

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  • Bobby, this ain't the 'Poot Butt League', man...ain't no 'Poot Butts' around here. This is not your average hot dog stand You know what this is? This is 'Winky Dinky Dog.' It sends chills up my spine every time I say it - Winky Dinky Dog! Bobby...say it with me...Winky Dinky Dog! WINKY DINKY DAAWWGG!

Speed

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  • I believe this movie. A dude could jump off a mountain and not hurt himself, 'cause he did brace himself, and knew something about the levels of gravitivity and polarity.
  • Dirty Larry - the movie where the crooks wait for Larry to go in his jacket, pull out a big ass gun. What'd they think he was lookin' for? His American Express card? Damn! We both gave "Dirty Larry" the finger!

Other

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  • NAACP spokesman: They'll never play the Rambos until they stop playing the Sambos.
  • Uncle Ray: There ain't nothin to it but to do it.
  • Sam Ace: I knew exactly what she could do. And she did too. As she walked towards me, I saw that twinkle in her eyes. I knew it was time - to do the nasty. And I like - doin' the nasty. She was a good kisser; but her breath was stinky. But so what? You don't get rid of a Rolls Royce because it has a dent in it. I had never done it before on my desk. I was just glad to be on top. I'd hate to. do the nasty with a stapler up my ass.
  • The guy from the Dirty Larry clip: What you say, honky sucker pig-head jive-turkey fool?
  • Tyrone: I didn't like this movie at all. First of all, it was the fact that I couldn't say the title. I get tired of titles I can't pronounce and shit. If you want people to come and see it, a muthafucker got to be able to tell his woman where he's gonna take her.
  • Casting Director: Relax! But I need some tension at the same time. But not too relaxed. But don't forget to give me sparkle.
  • Jheri Curl: Please! Gimme my activator!
  • Protestor: I think Bobby Taylor is a two-bit goat smellin' spook, obviously from the Coon Repertoire Theater of America. We are out here sweatin' like niggas on the way to an election in Georgia because he chooses to bug his eyes, yank his dick, and pull his raggedy skid marked drawers out the cracka his Black ass! I have nothing else to say about Bobby Taylor!

Dialogue

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Bobby Taylor: I wish Tiny would bring his big fat ass out here... Tiny! I'm going to make it up to you, I'm going to be a star.
Tiny: No, you're gonna be seein stars!
Mr. Jones: And I got a new one, Bobby! Winky Dinky Ho Cake.
Bobby Taylor: Ho cake?
Mr. Jones: Ho Cake! Hos got to eat too!
Bobby Taylor: How can you tell if you have a good script?
Batty Boy: Does your character…die?
Bobby Taylor: No.
Batty Boy: Then it’s a good script. Just one hit movie can give you success for life. It’s not about art! It’s about sequel! One film... one!! You can make an entire career. Just look at me! Batty, batty, batty!
Bobby Taylor: [to Batty Boy] I read in a magazine that you still take acting classes. And that you don't drink or do drugs.
Body Guard #2: [Batty starts breathing heavy and shaking] Relax, Mr. Batty. Relax.
Body Guard #1: Don't say drugs around the man. And don't say coke or free base, neither - unless you got some.
Jesse Wilson: This is bull shit.
Bobby Taylor: What are you talking about?
Jesse Wilson: This is some more of the white man's stereotype of a black man, yeah, brother.
Bobby Taylor: Really?
Jesse Wilson: Yeah, brother. Only an Uncle Tom would do this shit. They just lookin' for somebody to sell out.
Bobby Taylor: Sell out?
Jesse Wilson: The only role they gonna let us do is a slave, a butler, or some street hood or something. Don't sell out, brother. Don't be a butler or a slave.
Receptionist: Jesse Wilson? Jesse Wilson, you're next.
Jesse Wilson: That's me! Good luck, brotha.
Speed: Welcome to Sneakin' In The Movies. My name is Speed and this is my homeboy Tyrone. And we are like movie critics and shit
Tyrone: Well not really. Peep this. Each week me and my boy, you know, we go to different theaters and stuff and sneak in and check out the movie.
Speed: Then we come back and tell you all what's up. Like if you should pay money and shit.
Speed: [reviewing 'Dirty Larry'] Realism is important to me, and this was bullshit. This is the movie where the criminals wait for Dirty Larry to reach into his jacket and pull out a big ass gun. What did they think he was looking for, his American Express card?
Tyrone: He's supposed to take the money.
Speed: Right.
Tyrone: Take the ho. Take the ho! You know that.
Speed: Right.
Tyrone: And take the car and get the fuck outta there.
Speed: I can't believe it. Because, he would have been dead a long time ago. Talkin' that shit, "Make my day."
Tyrone: Right, right! 'Cause as soon as he said, "Make my day," boom. Do 50 bullets in your ass make your day?
Casting Director: I have another very good idea. Could you tell him to be a little more - you know.
Director: Yeah, Bobby - Bobby, I need a little more black. You know what I'm saying? Like, stick your ass out, bug the eyes, you know how to move, you know.
Bobby Taylor: Yeah, jive - jive ass. Jive ass. Jive ass.
Bobby Taylor: [in the "Black Acting School" fantasy sequence] Hi. My name is Robert Taylor - and I'm a black actor. I had to learn to play these slave part - and now you can too, in Hollywood's first "Black Acting School". It teaches you everything! Learn Jive Talking 101...Let's talk to a graduate. This is Ricky Taylor. Ricky graduated from my class three years ago. Ricky, can you tell us what you've been doing since you graduated.
Ricky Taylor: Well, Robert, I've played nine crooks, four gang leaders, two dope dealers, and I played a rapist twice. That was fun. Currently, I'm filming a prison movie. I play this tough con and I have to fuck this new inmate.
Bobby Taylor: That sounds wonderful! I'm so happy for you. Need I say any more? It's Hollywood's first Black Acting School. It teaches you everything.

Cast

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