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Fantastic Mr. Fox (film)

From Wikiquote
Honey, I'm seven non-fox years old. My father died at seven and a half. I don't want to live in a hole anymore. I'm going to do something about it.

Fantastic Mr. Fox is a 2009 stop-motion animated film about an urbane fox who cannot resist returning to his farm raiding ways and then must help his community survive the farmers' retaliation.

Directed by Wes Anderson. Written by Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach, loosely based on the novel of the same name by Roald Dahl.
Based on the beloved book by Roald Dahl.(taglines)

Mr. Fox

[edit]
  • Honey, I'm seven non-fox years old. My father died at seven and a half. I don't want to live in a hole anymore. I'm going to do something about it. [Clicks on his radio...then starts eating his toast in a more animal-like manner]
  • What the cuss?! Where'd this giant fence come from?! We had a master plan!
  • Apple juice? We didn't come here for apple juice. This is some of the strongest, finest alcoholic cider money can buy or that can even be stolen. It burns in your throat, boils in your stomach, and tastes almost exactly like pure, melted gold.
  • I guess we do have these three ugly farmers to thank for one thing: reminding us to be thankful and aware of each other. I'm gonna say it again: aware.
  • Redemption? Sure. But in the end, he's just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a Chinese restaurant.
  • My suicide mission has been canceled. We're replacing it with a go-for-broke rescue mission.
  • [in his letter to the farmers] "Dear Farmers Boggis, Bunce, and Bean, I have no alternative but to agree to your terms. Move the station wagon and open the manhole cover below the foot of the drainpipe next to the cobbler shop, and meet me there today at 10 AM sharp. I will hand myself over to you in exchange for the boy's safe return. Cordially, Mr. Fox".
  • [To Frank Bean, as he prepares for the final battle] Your tractors uprooted my tree. Your posse hunted my family. Your gunmen kidnapped my nephew. Your rat insulted my wife... and YOU shot off my tail! I'm not leaving here without that necktie!
  • HOLY SWEARING CUSS!
  • [In the supermarket, offering a juice-box toast] They say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum, but it's cool to the paw - try it. They say my tail needs to be dry cleaned twice a month, but now it's fully detachable - see? They say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. Yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. I guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. And even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals I've ever met in my life. So let's raise our boxes - to our survival.

Felicity Fox

[edit]
  • [to Mr. Fox and Kylie, suspiciously] If what I think is happening is happening... [zooms in on her] ...it better not be.
  • We're all different... Him, especially. But there's something kind of fantastic about that, isn't there?
  • Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?

Franklin Bean

[edit]
  • Ah, yes. He's very clever, isn't he? Might be a bit difficult, I suppose. [shoots every light around in one fluid movement] But I already figured out where this fox lives. And tomorrow night, we’re gonna camp in the bushes, wait for him to come out of the hole in this tree, and shoot the cuss to smithereens. How does that grab you, fellas?
  • [picks up Mr. Fox's tail] We got the tail, but we missed the fox.
  • That's just weak songwriting. You wrote a bad song, Petey!
  • They took everything? Let me call you back, Petey. [hangs up]
  • [to Ms. Bean while holding Kristofferson upside down] Wrap this wet, little mutt in a newspaper, and put him in a box with some holes punched in the top.

Dialogue

[edit]
Badger: Don't buy this tree, Foxy. You're borrowing at nine-and-a-half with no fixed rate, plus moving into the most dangerous neighborhood in the country for someone of your type of species.
Mr. Fox: You're exaggerating, Badger.
Badger: [scoffs] I'm sugar-coating it, man. This is Boggis, Bunce, and Bean; three of the meanest, nastiest, UGLIEST farmers in the history of this valley.
Mr. Fox: Really? Tell me about them.
Badger: [sighs] All right. Walt Boggis is a chicken farmer, probably the most successful in the world. He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros. He eats three chickens every day for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dessert. That's twelve in total per diem. Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer. He's approximately the size of a pot-bellied dwarf, and his chin would be underwater in the shallow end of any swimming pool on the planet. His food is homemade donuts with smashed up goose livers injected into them. Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer. He invented his own species of each. He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic cider, which he makes from his apples. He's as skinny as a pencil, as smart as a whip, and possibly the scariest man currently living. The local human children sing a kind of... eerie little rhyme about him. Here, listen to this. [turns on the radio]
Children: [singing] ♪ Boggis, Bunce, and Bean. One fat, one short, one lean. Those horrible crooks so different in looks, were nonetheless equally mean. ♪
Badger: [turns off the radio] In summation, I think you just gotta not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cuss and point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss with somebody, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Mr. Fox: You're not gonna cuss with me! [Both start snarling at each other. Linda notices this, then she pushes the typewriter and they finally settle down] Just buy the tree.
Badger: Okay.
Mr. Fox: [sighs] Who am I, Kylie?
Kylie: Who how? What now?
Mr. Fox: Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? I'm saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you'll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?
Kylie: I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds illegal.
Mr. Fox: Here, put this bandit hat on. [Kylie puts the bandit hat on] Maybe you're a medium. Take it off for a minute. And don't wear it around the house. [Kylie takes it off] And so it begins.
Kristofferson: Do you mind if I slide my bedroll slightly out from under the train set? It's hard to sleep in that corkscrew position.
Ash: [gets up and notices Kristofferson] There's a lot of attitudes going on around here. Don't let me get one. [goes back to reading his book]
Kristofferson: No, it's only just that my spinal-cord...
Ash: [gets up again] Sleep, wherever you want, man. Here, take my bed. I'll just, uh...I'll crawl under the bookcase. [goes back to reading his book again] Who cares if I get splinters in my ears?
Kristofferson: Never mind...
Ash: [gets up one last time, irritated] Oh, are you gonna pout about it? Because I've had it up to HERE with the "sad houseguest" routine! [he glares at Kristofferson, turns off the light, then continues reading once more with the nightlight on]
Kristofferson: Good night. [pulls out the mat under Ash's train set, lays down under the table and eventually starts crying. Ash notices this as he shines his flashlight on Kristofferson, then climbs down, turns the train set on with music playing, then Kristofferson notices this and they both watch the train go around and around the track]
Mr. Fox: I used to do this professionally, and I was very successful at it. I had to get out of it for personal reasons, but I've decided to secretly do one last big job on the sly. I'm bringing you in as my secretary and personal assistant.
Kylie: Okay!
Mr. Fox: This is actually kind of a big deal, so don't just say, "Okay!".
Kylie: Okay. Well, thank you.
Mr. Fox: I'm going to tape this for my records, so don't make a lot of sounds. Meaning, stop rocking.
[Kylie stops rocking his chair, while Mr. Fox turns on a tape recorder]
Mr. Fox: Master plan, phase one, side "A". We'll start with Boggis's chicken house number one. His only security is a few old hunting beagles and a low stone wall. Now, a word about beagles. Never look a beagle directly in the eye. And if--
Kylie: Why not? Beagles aren't so tough.
Mr. Fox: Yeah? Well, first of all, one of these beagles has chronic rabies, which he's on medication for, and if you get bit by him, you have to get shots in your stomach for six months, and second-- Listen, I'm not going to justify this. You just pay attention and stop interrupting me. I'm taping this. I pick some blueberries and lace each one with ten milligrams of high potency sleeping powder, enough to tranquilize a gorilla.
Kylie: How do we make them eat it?
Mr. Fox: Beagles love blueberries. Remember, they aren't very smart, but they're incredibly paranoid, so always kill a chicken in one bite. One bite. Get it? [Kylie looks zoned out] Are you listening to me? I look into your eyes, and I can't tell whether you're getting anything I'm saying.
Coach Skip: Let's see some hustle!
Kristofferson: Coach, we don't have whack-bat where I'm from. What are the rules?
Coach Skip: There's no whack-bat on the other side of the river?
Kristofferson: No, we mostly just, uh, run grass sprints or play acorns.
Coach Skip: Huh. Well, it's real simple. Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and the player at whack-bat. Center tagger lights a pine cone, chucks it over the basket, and the whack-batter tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock. Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls "hotbox". Finally at the end, you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine.
Kristofferson: Got it.
Coach Skip: Go in for Ash. Substitution! Ash, come out. You need a breather.
Ash: What, what? Come out? What? I still feel good, Coach. Let me finish this eighth.
Coach Skip: No, no. Come on. Step out. Step out. Let's go.
[Kristofferson runs out into the fiend]
Ash: Am I getting better, Coach?
Coach Skip: Well, you're sure as cuss not getting any worse.
Ash: Really? You mean you I can end up being as good as my dad if I keep practicing?
Coach Skip: Your dad? Your dad was probably the best whack-bat player we ever had in this school. [points to the scoreboard showing Mr. Fox's name as Most Valuable Player of the year for four years] No, you don't wanna have to compare yourself to that.
Ash: No, but I think I have some of the same raw natural talent, don't you?
Coach Skip: You're improving. Let's put it like that.
Mr. Fox: I spotted a couple of broken burglar bars underneath the back door to Bean's secret cider cellar.
Kylie: We're breaking into Bean's house?
Mr. Fox: Cellar.
Kylie: Where he lives?
Mr. Fox: Where he keeps the cider.
Ash: [appears behind them] Below where he lives.
Mr. Fox: Where'd you come from? You go back to the tree and do your homework.
Ash: I wanna help you steal some cider.
Mr. Fox: We're going to a book party, and you keep your mouth shut about any cider because no one ever said that. Now get out of here!
Ash: But-- Uh..
Mr. Fox: But Nothing! You're gonna get me in a lot of trouble! Besides, you're too little and uncoordinated. [Ash scowls, twitches his ear and spits and Mr. Fox points at the tree] One, two, three! [Ash growls with rage and storms back to the tree] Where the cuss does that kid get off? Can you believe that? How did he get tipped off?
Bean: Ah, so good of you to come! I'm happy to see you! You both looking splendid! How ya been, Walter? In good health, I trust.
Boggis: Uh, uh, uh...
Bean: Nathan, all is well?
Bunce: Uh...
Bean: Wonderful! Any fox problems?
Boggis: Are you joking?!
Bunce: It's horrible!
Boggis: We're miserable!
Bunce: He's laughing at us!
Boggis: It's humiliating!
Bunce: We're furious!
Boggis: I don't even want to talk about it.
Bean: [drinks a glass of cider] Perhaps we ought to kill him.
Boggis: Well, that seems rather obvious.
Bunce: He's too sneaky!
Bean: Ah, yes. He's very clever, isn't he? Might be a bit difficult, I suppose. [shoots every light around in one fluid movement] But I already figured out where this fox lives. So tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes, wait for him to come out of the hole in the tree, and shoot the cuss to smithereens. How does that grab you, fellas?
Boggis: Yeah, don't see why not.
[Mr. Fox and Kylie are sneaking through the Fox family's kitchen. Meanwhile, Felicity sees them from a doorway]
Felicity: Another book party?
Mr. Fox: [surprised] Oh! I didn't see you sitting in the dark over there. [grins sheepishly] Yeah! No actually, there's a fire. I just got the call. They said maybe it's arson. I've got to interview the marshal and see if it's...
Felicity: [turns on the light] Kylie, is he telling the truth?
Kylie: [turns to Mr. Fox] I... I don't want to be put into the middle of this.
Mr. Fox: Thanks, Kylie.
Felicity: [notices something off to her right, points to Kristofferson wearing his bandit hat] Why is he wearing that bandit hat?
[Kristofferson, who is halfway out the door leading to the kitchen from the stairwell leading upstairs and pulls his bandit hat up to obscure his face]
Mr. Fox: His ears were cold. He's not with us. [to Kristofferson] Go back to bed.
[Kristofferson leaves and closes the door, Felicity looks back at Mr. Fox and Kylie]
Felicity: If what I think is happening is happening... [the scene zooms in to an extreme close-up of her] ...it better not be.
Ash: [after Mr. Fox has just lost his tail in the shooting] It'll-- It'll grow back, won't it?
Kylie: Tails don't grow back.
Ash: Tails don't grow back?
Kylie: Uh-uh. Except for lizards.
Mr. Fox: Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be tail-less for the rest of my life.
Ash: Well, anyway, it's not half as bad as double pneumonia, right? I mean, his dad's got one foot in the grave and three feet on a banana peel. That's a lot worse than just...
Kristofferson: [ricochets an acorn around the room, which lands in the teacup he is holding. The others glare in amazement] Excuse me, everyone. I'm gonna go meditate for half an hour. [exits quickly and shuts the door]
Felicity: [to Ash, sternly] You have got twenty-nine minutes to come up with a proper apology.
Ash: [snaps, gestures wildly] Me? Me have an apology? He gets a bandit hat? He just got here, and he gets a bandit hat? Where's my bandit hat? Why didn't I get shot at? It's because, you... you... YOU THINK I'M NO GOOD AT ANYTHING!!! Well, maybe you're right, thanks. [stomps away in regret and shuts door upon exit]
Kylie: [sighs; to Mr. Fox] Told ya not to bring him.
Mr. Fox: Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer? At this point we'll be lucky if we can flip this tree for half of what we've already sunk into it. I won't be able to sleep on my back for six weeks, and my stomach I feel congested. Why the cuss didn't I listen to my lawyer?
Felicity: Because you don't listen to anybody.
[the noise of digging is heard, they jolt up]
Mr. Fox: What was that?
Felicity: What? I said--
Mr. Fox: Wake up, everybody, they're digging us out!
Felicity: They'll kill the children!
Mr. Fox: Over my dead body, they will!
Felicity: That's what I'm saying! You'd be dead too in that scenario!
Mr. Fox: Well, I'm arguing against thatǃ
[They begin arguing over each other]
Felicity: What are you talking about?
Mr. Fox: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?ǃ
Kylie: STOP, STOP, STOPǃ! You say one thing, she says another, and it all changes back againǃ
Felicity: I'm going to lose my temper now.
Mr. Fox: When?
Felicity: Right now.
Mr. Fox: Well, when...? [Felicity slashes at his face with her claws, Mr. Fox shouts and groans in pain]
Felicity: Twelve fox years ago, you made a promise to me, while we we're caged inside that fox trap. That if we survived, you would never steal another chicken, turkey, goose, duck, or a squab, whatever they are, [voice breaking] and I believed you. Why? Why did you lie to me?
Mr. Fox: Because I'm a wild animal.
Felicity: You are also a husband, and a father.
Mr. Fox: I'm trying to tell you the truth about myself.
Felicity: I don't care about the truth about yourself. This story is too... predictable.
Mr. Fox: Predictable? Really? What happens in the end?
Felicity: In the end, we all die...unless you change. [leaves]
Mr. Fox: [yells] YOU SCARED THE CUSS OUT OF US!
Badger: [growls in an irritated tone] A lot of good animals are [starts yelling] PROBABLY GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF YOU! [everyone looks shocked, then he continues his speaking] We've been digging in circles for three days. HALF the woods have been obliterated, NOBODY can get out! Right now, my wife's huddled at the bottom of the flint-mine with NO food, NO water and 27 STARVING animal brats!
Phil: I just want to see a little...sunshine.
Mr. Fox: But you're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes barely even open on a good day.
Phil: I'm sick of your double talk! We have rights!
Beaver's Son: We don't like you, and we hate your dad. Now grab some of that mud, chew it in your mouth and swallow it.
Ash: I'm not gonna eat mud!
Beaver's Son: Cuss yeah, you are! [picks up a large glob of mud and shoves it in Ash's face. Ash makes a gagging sound but does not react further]
Kristofferson: [takes off his shoes] Don't do that.
Beaver's Son: Why'd you take your shoes off?
Kristofferson: [pushes Ash away] So I don't break your nose when I kick it. [proceeds to take Beaver's son out with some precision karate moves, ending with a throwdown on the ground. Beaver's son then gets up and walks away crying]
Ash: I can fight my own fights.
Kristofferson: [turns to Ash] No, you can't.
Ash: You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I-I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock.
Kristofferson: We look good.
Ash: Yeah, we do.
[after the animals have been flushed into the sewers by Bean's cider, Mr. Fox goes into a tunnel to be alone, Felicity follows]
Mr. Fox: Badger's right. These farmers aren't gonna quit until they catch me. I shouldn't have lied to your face. I shouldn't have fallen off the wagon and started secretly stealing chickens on the sly. I shouldn't have driven these farmers so far and tried to embarrass them and cussed with their heads. I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it. And now there's only one way out of this. Maybe if I hand myself over and let them kill me, stuff me, and hang me over their mantelpiece...
Felicity: You'll do no such thing.
Mr. Fox: Darling, maybe they'll let everyone else live.
Felicity: [sadly] Oh, why did you have to get us into this, Foxy?
Mr. Fox: I don't know, but I have a possible theory. I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I'm the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if they aren't knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself. Foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey, and outsmart predators, and that's what I'm actually good at. I think at the end of the day, I'm just...
Felicity: I know, we're wild animals.
Mr. Fox: Hmm. I guess we always were. I promise you, if I had all this to do over again, I'd have never let you down. It was always more fun when we did it together, anyway. [both foxes kiss and hug] I love you, Felicity.
Felicity: I love you, too. But I shouldn't have married you.
Mr. Fox: In a way, I'm almost glad that flood interrupted us because I don't like the toast I was giving. I'm gonna start over. [pause] When I look down this table, with the exquisite feast set before us, I see: two terrific lawyers, a skilled pediatrician, a wonderful chef, a savvy real estate agent, an excellent tailor, a crack accountant, a gifted musician, pretty good minnow fisherman, and possibly the best landscape painter working on the scene today. Maybe a few of you might even read my column from time to time, Who knows? I tend to doubt it. [pause] I also see a room full of wild animals. Wild animals, with true natures and pure talents. Wild animals with scientific-sounding Latin names that mean something about our DNA. Wild animals each with his own strengths and weaknesses due to his or her species. Anyway, I think it may very well be all the beautiful differences among us that might just give us the tiniest glimmer of a chance of saving my nephew, and letting me make it up to you for getting us into this, this crazy... whatever it is. I don't know. It's just a thought. Thank you for listening. Cheers, everyone.
[mimics draining an imaginary glass and smashing it to the floor]
Kylie: Let's eat! [everyone stares at Kylie] What? I was just playin' along with the bit he was doing...
Mr. Fox: [in a cellar with many of the other animal characters] Alright, let's start planning. Who knows shorthand? [Linda raises her hand] Great! Linda! Lutra lutra - you got some dry paper? [she holds up paper] Here we go. Mole! Talpa europaea! What d'you got?
Phil: I can see in the dark.
Mr. Fox: That's incredible! We can use that! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Rabbit! Oryctolagus cuniculus!
Rabbit: I'm fast.
Mr. Fox: You bet you are. Linda?
Linda Otter: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Beaver! Castor fiber!
Beaver: I can chew through wood.
Mr. Fox: Amazing! Linda!
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Badger! Meles meles!
Badger: Demolitions expert.
Mr. Fox: What? Since when?
Badger: Explosions! Flames! Burning things!
Mr. Fox: Demolitions expert! OK! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: [grabs Weasel] WEASEL! MUSTELA NIVALIS!
Weasel: STOP YELLING!!
Mr. Fox: Ha! Ha-ha! Whoo! Okay. Ash, you and Agnes team up with these little kids and put together some kind of KP unit to keep this sewer clean. It's good for morale.
Ash: Done. [to Agnes] What's KP?
Agnes: I think it means janitors. [Ash spits]
Vole: Hey-hey! Down here. I wanna go with you, too. I wanna fight!
Mr. Fox: Good, fabulous! Microtus pennsylvanicus!
[Vole laughs]
Kylie: Hey, I didn't get a job yet, or a Latin name. What's my strength?
Mr. Fox: Listen, you're Kylie. You're an unbelievably nice guy. Your job is really, just to...be available, I think. I don't know your Latin name, I doubt they even had opossums in Ancient Rome.
Ash: I can fit through there. Want to know why?
Kylie: Why?
Ash: Because I'm little.
Ash: Psst. Psst. It's me. I'm rescuing you.
Kristofferson: I've got mixed feelings about that.
Ash: I don't blame you. Can you give me a karate lesson real quick?
Kristofferson: Okay. Stand like this. Position yourself on the balls of your feet. Close your eyes. You weigh less than a slice of bread.
[as Mr. Fox, Kylie, Ash, and Kristofferson drive out of Bean Annex, Kylie notices something]
Kylie: Don't turn around!
[the animals stop the motorcycle and see a wolf staring at them from a snowy mountain]
Mr. Fox: Where'd he come from? [to the wolf] Where'd you come from?! What are you doing here?! [points to the wolf] Canis lupus! [points to himself] Vulpes vulpes! [to the others] I don't think he speaks English or Latin. [speaks French to the wolf] Pensez-vous que nous allons vivre un hiver rigoureux? I'm asking if he thinks we're in for a hard winter. [the wolf continues staring at them] He doesn't seem to know. [to the wolf] I have a phobia of wolves! [the wolf continues staring at them; Mr. Fox sheds a tear and then raise a fist in the air; the wolf does the same] What a beautiful creature. Wish him luck, boys.
Kylie: Good luck, wolf.
Ash: Good luck, wolf.
Kristofferson: Good luck out there.
[the wolf starts to walk away but gives them on last look before disappearing into the forest]
Mr. Fox: I guess now that Kristofferson's dad's already down to single pneumonia... ...and getting better, he'll be going home soon, huh?
Felicity: Actually, when he spoke to me from the hospital, he said... ...he was already talking to Weasel about real estate availabilities ...down in our sewer system.
Mr. Fox: Oh, really? Well, now's the time to buy.
[Mr. Fox sips his juice]

Taglines

[edit]
  • Based on the beloved book by Roald Dahl.
  • Jason Schwartzman is The Muscle
  • George Clooney is The Brains
  • Meryl Streep is The Brains Behind The Brains
  • Willem Dafoe is The Rotter
  • Michael Gambon is The Scoundrel
  • Owen Wilson is The Whistle-Blower
  • Wally Wolodarsky is The Lookout
  • Dig the life fantastic.
  • His life is fantastic... his wife is fantastic... his neighbors, not so fantastic.
  • This year, forget super... ignore incredible... it's all about fantastic.
  • He's one fox you can't out-fox.

Cast

[edit]

[edit]
Wikipedia
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