What Is Black Cat Girlfriend Energy on TikTok?

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Plus, check out real-life examples of the black cat gf

Co-authored by Aimee Payne, MFA Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: October 29, 2024 Fact Checked

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Black Cat Girlfriend Meaning & Traits

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Black Cat-Golden Retriever Relationship Theory

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Signs of a Black Cat GF-Golden Retriever BF Relationship

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Famous Couples

The Black Cat Girlfriend has sauntered into her own TikTok meme as the cool, mysterious woman who’s usually paired with her complete opposite – the lovable, outgoing Golden Retriever Boyfriend. She’s introverted and aloof, while he’s affectionate and always happy to see you. But, together, they make the purr-fect pair. In this article, we’ll dive into the quirks of the Black Cat Girlfriend’s personality and explore the ups and downs of her dynamic (and surprisingly adorable) relationship with her Golden Retriever Boyfriend.

What is a Black Cat Girlfriend?

A Black Cat Girlfriend is a woman who is antisocial and introverted but playful and loyal to those she loves, much like a black cat. Unlike her friendly, silly, and outgoing Golden Retriever Boyfriend, she's seen as reserved and a little mysterious.

Section 1 of 4:

Black Cat Girlfriend Meaning & Traits

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The Black Cat Girlfriend is introverted and playful like a black cat. She’s reserved and maybe a little anti-social, secretive, and shy. She’s also fiercely loyal to her loved ones, and if you mess with her relationship, the claws will come out. Her black-cat energy is unbothered and borderline selfish, just like the black cat she’s named for. She may be less likely to show how she feels and definitely not going to chase anyone…unlike her silly and outgoing Golden Retriever Boyfriend.^{[1]
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Research source} Here are some other traits of the black cat gf:
- Quiet around strangers but has a lot to say once you get to know her.
- Likes to playfully tease her partner or friends to get attention.
- May struggle to communicate and even shut down in stressful situations or when there’s emotional conflict in her life.
- Plays a little hard to get at first.
- Prefers to listen to you talk rather than take charge of the conversation.
- Can get annoyed easily, but it usually passes quickly.
- A very calm nature that isn’t easily ruffled. This laid-back demeanor makes her great to have around in a stressful situation.

Section 2 of 4:

Black Cat Girlfriend-Golden Retriever Boyfriend Theory

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The Black Cat-Golden Retriever Theory suggests that a chill girlfriend and a bubbly boyfriend make for the best couples. The idea is that a woman should look for this dynamic if she wants to have a successful relationship that leads to marriage. There is some thought that the Black Cat-Golden Retriever dynamic means that the man is always chasing the woman which keeps them both happy.^{[2]
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Research source} However, this opposites-attract dynamic may mean that your differences balance each other out and make you both feel comfortable and supported.
- The Black Cat Girlfriend may have a calming influence on her hyper partner, especially in stressful situations that can overwhelm the Golden Retriever Boyfriend. Her less trusting nature may also help prevent dishonest people from exploiting her partner’s kindness.
- The Golden Retriever Boyfriend’s extroverted nature may mean they have an active social life that keeps them busy while their partner recharges her social battery. Their positive, trusting nature can help their partner overcome feelings of distrust and suspicion.
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Some feel the Black Cat-Golden Retriever pairing is toxic. While most depictions of Black Cat-Golden Retriever relationships on TikTok are positive, some believe this is an unhealthy relationship dynamic. The idea behind opposites attracting is that we are drawn to people who have traits we wish we possess. When taken to the extreme, this can become codependent.^{[3]
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Research source} The Black Cat-Golden Retriever dynamic also reverses negative stereotypes about how men and women act in romantic relationships, which can be unhealthy.^{[4]
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Research source}
- Black Cat Girlfriend Red Flags: She may be less interested in putting effort into the relationship or have an avoidant attachment style. She may feel smothered and overwhelmed by all the golden retriever energy and attention she gets from her partner.
- Golden Retriever Boyfriend Red Flags: He may be clingy or a people-pleaser with an anxious attachment style. The Golden Retriever Boyfriend may feel unappreciated and unloved.
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The Black Cat-Golden Retriever Theory commonly appears in memes. The Golden Retriever Boyfriend started trending on TikTok in 2021, with users describing him as extroverted, friendly, energetic, easy-going, and affectionate. The term reached its peak popularity in 2023 when Kansas Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, who had started dating Taylor Swift, was identified as an example of a Golden Retriever Boyfriend.^{[5]
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Research source} The theory also extends to same-sex relationships and platonic friendships.^{[6]
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Research source} Examples of the Black Cat-Golden Retriever trend are:
- In November 2022, TikToker @asgvardss posted a video of clips featuring Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair from Wednesday with the caption, “they are literally black cat and golden retriever”.
- In May 2023, Twitter user @itschaennie posted an image of Rosé and Jennie from the K-pop group Blackpink with the caption, “this is literally the perfect example of golden retriever and black cat energy”.
- In October 2023, TikTok user @shanndetrick posted about her husband being more like a golden retriever while she was more like a cat.
- In November 2023, TikToker @ericapadilla posted a video of her walking through a store with her boyfriend. The voiceover says, “How does he not notice that I’m mad at him? We haven’t talked in 20 minutes. What is he even thinking about?” The shot pans to her Golden Retriever Boyfriend, who is eating an ice cream cone and thinking, “I could take a bear in a fight. Not like a grizzly bear, but a black bear. Jump on his back, put him in a headlock…done.”
- In February 2024, Twitter user @Courtneyblum33 posted a picture of Lana del Rey and Taylor Swift with the caption, “black cat girlfriend and golden retriever boyfriend”.

Section 3 of 4:

Signs of a Black Cat GF-Golden Retriever BF Relationship

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A few different traits signal a Black Cat-Golden Retriever couple. So, does your relationship fit the theory? Here is a list of signs that you might be in a Black Cat-Golden Retriever couple, but don’t worry if you aren’t. All kinds of successful relationship dynamics don’t fit this particular dating theory. You might be a black cat who’s in a relationship with golden retrievers if:
- You’re the silent, brooding type who always falls for goofy chatterboxes.
- You’re sarcastic and introverted with a partner who is warm and extroverted.
- You’re standoffish and suspicious with a friendly, trusting partner.
- People think you’re a little intimidating, but your partner is seen as charming and likable.
- You’re darkly playful and mischievous in a way that may occasionally annoy your sunny partner.
- Your cool, collected energy helps your excitable partner calm down.

Section 4 of 4:

Famous Black Cat-Golden Retriever Couples

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Many successful examples of this relationship exist in pop culture. The Black Cat Girlfriend-Golden Retriever Boyfriend dynamic existed before there was a name for it. Here are a few examples of this relationship dynamic from popular movies and TV shows:
- Jackie Burkhart & Michael Kelso - That 70s Show
- Andy Dwyer & April Ludgate - Parks & Recreation
- Morticia & Gomez Addams - The Addams Family
- Amy Santiago & Jake Peralta - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
- David Rose & Patrick Brewer - Schitt’s Creek
- Zendaya & Tom Holland
- Taylor Swift & Travis Kelce
- Rihanna & A$AP Rocky
- Sabrina Carpenter & Barry Keoghan
- Megan Fox & Machine Gun Kelly