120 Funny Congratulations Messages for Promotions, Marriages & More

There are so many momentous occasions in life that deserve congratulations, and sometimes, those moments can be made even more fun with a bit of humor! Whether you’re celebrating someone’s new job, marriage, graduation, or any other achievement, make them smile with a lighthearted joke. Keep reading for the most hilarious congratulations messages for all occasions.

Funniest Congratulations Message Ideas

“If I say congratulations can we go back to focusing on me now?”
“Congratulations on doing that thing you did that you said you were going to do. You did that thing!”
“Congratulations! How are you so awesome? You’re making me look bad.”
“Bravocado! You guac!”
“Congrats on your continued success! You’re buying the champagne, right?”
“Hear that? That’s the sound of your coworkers saying mean things about you… Congrats on your promotion!”

Section 1 of 13:

Short & Silly Congratulations Messages

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Pull one of these lines out to make your successful friend laugh. While it’s important to express sincere congratulations when someone achieves something, it’s also okay to make a lighthearted joke or two, especially if you have a close relationship. Just make sure the joke is appropriate for the situation. Here are some examples:^{[1]
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- “Great job on that thing you did. Congrats.”
- “Hooray! Time for a happy dance.”
- “Can someone please spray from Febreze? Because I am so stinking proud of you!”
- “You did it! I knew you had it in you, even if I had to use a magnifying glass to find it.”
- “Bravocado! You guac!”
- “Congrats! Decent job.”
- “Congratulations! You’re kind of a big dill now.”
- “If I say congratulations can we go back to focusing on me now?”
- “You did it! I’m not really sure what “it” is but congratulations anyway!”
- “Good things come to those who work their butts off! Congrats!”

Section 2 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for a Promotion

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Cheer a coworker on as they climb the corporate ladder. Just because your coworker gets a promotion doesn’t mean you can’t joke around with them anymore. Think of some ways you can tease them, like listing ways their promotion can actually benefit you rather than them or how their job is about to get a lot more stressful. Here are some examples:
- “Hear that? That’s the sound of your coworkers saying mean things about you… Congrats on your promotion!”
- “Congratulations on your promotion! I still don’t understand what you do, but clearly you’re doing something right!”
- “They promoted you because they realized you’re the only one who knows how to fix the printer. Congrats!”
- “Congrats on the promotion! I’m so happy for you and not at all jealous.”
- “Now that you’re in a higher position, can you pull some strings to get us better parking spots?”
- “Stop being so awesome. You’re making the rest of us look bad.”
- “Congrats on the promotion! Now you can officially boss people around and get paid for it!”
- “Congrats! With great power comes great… meetings. Lots of meetings.”
- “Promotion = more responsibilities, but also more excuses to bring in a cake for the team.”
- “We’re already wondering how your new role may benefit us… Congrats by the way.”

Section 3 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for a New Job

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Tease a coworker for leaving you behind. Getting a new job can be exciting, but it can also be bittersweet leaving a good work friend. Congratulate your coworker on the job, but don’t be afraid to let them know how much you’ll miss them—even if you have to do it sarcastically. Here are some examples:^{[2]
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- “Congrats! Hope your new job doesn’t suck as much as this one.”
- “You’re dead to us. Thank God you’re leaving.”
- “Congratulations on your new job! I’m glad someone made it out of here alive!”
- “You were too good for this place! I’m glad you knew it, too.”
- “Please take me with you! Don’t leave me here with these losers!”
- “Have fun at your new job, traitor!”
- “Treat a new job like a new love affair; it’ll end if you take it for granted. Wishing you all the best!”
- “It’s a wonder your boss hired you—were they dazzled by your charm or just desperate? Either way, congrats!”
- “Yay! You’re leaving one boring job for another. Congratulations!”
- “Dear meanie: I hope your new job is the worst. Sincerely, your old (better) coworker who misses you already.”

Section 4 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for Marriage

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Tease your favorite couple about their future together. Weddings are a great opportunity to celebrate a couple’s love for each other, but most married couples will tell you marriage is no picnic. Prepare the newlyweds for the rollercoaster that awaits them by lightheartedly poking fun at the idea of marriage. Here are some examples:^{[3]
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- “I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’d be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.”
- “May your day be extra special and fun—because tomorrow the hard work begins!”
- “They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it. Congratulations, you kooks!”
- “I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
- “Congratulations on signing your life away!”
- “Marriage is like a roller coaster – exhilarating, occasionally terrifying, and best enjoyed with someone by your side. Buckle up for the ride!”
- “Marriage is grand—and divorce? Well, that’s at least 10 grand. Here’s to a lifetime of savings and love!”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards. At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade. Congratulations!”
- “Marriage advice: Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.”
- “Look, I have a chauffeur and a car ready at the gate if you change your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!”

Section 5 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for Graduation

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Make a student laugh on their special day. Whether someone is graduating from high school or college, graduation is a day for celebration. Put a big smile on the grad’s face by congratulating them and then promptly welcoming them to the “real world.” Here are some examples:^{[4]
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- “Your big brain impresses me. Congratulations.”
- “Congrats on finally escaping the clutches of education! Don’t worry, the real world isn’t as scary as it seems… Okay, maybe a little.”
- “Here’s to the graduate: may your future be as bright as your phone screen during a boring lecture.”
- “Way to go! Have fun dressing up in a gown and silly hat!”
- “Congratulations to ChatGPT for graduating! After all, it did all the hard work!”
- “I always knew you would barely graduate. Well done!”
- “Welcome to the real world. Don’t worry, none of us know what we’re doing here either!”
- “Congrats on graduating! Did you ever think this day would come? We didn’t think so either!”
- “Congratulations! I guess I have to stop calling you an idiot now that you’ve graduated.”
- “Congrats to me sitting through your whole graduation ceremony.”

Section 6 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Quotes

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Share a fun, inspirational quote to show your support. If you’re having trouble coming up with a good joke on your own, why not use someone else’s? Plenty of funny quotes about success have been attributed to celebrities, comedians, and historical figures over the years, and many of them can be applied to several different situations. Here are some examples:^{[5]
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- “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
- “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.” – Al Bernstein
- “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
- “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude MacDonald
- “Whatever you do, always give 100%—unless you’re donating blood.” – Bill Murray
- “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” – Marvin Phillips
- “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire
- “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs... one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
- “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

Section 7 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for Success

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Celebrate someone’s success by making them laugh. Sometimes, a lighthearted joke can make someone even happier when they’re celebrating an achievement. Just make sure you actually offer your congratulations, as well, so they feel supported. Here are some examples:^{[6]
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- “Your continued success is starting to get annoying. Congrats anyway.”
- “Congratulations on doing that thing you did that you said you were going to do. You did that thing!”
- “Congratulations! Success looks good on you!”
- “Congratulations! Your success is almost as impressive as my ability to pretend to care.”
- “Well, look at you overachieving and making the rest of us look bad. Congrats!”
- “Took you long enough! Congratulations on your achievement!”
- “Cheers to your success! Here’s a gold star.”
- “Good things come to those who hustle! Congrats!”
- “Remember—success is the best revenge. Congratulations!”
- “Congrats on your continued success! You’re buying the champagne, right?”

Section 8 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for Friends

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Make a cheesy joke to cheer on your friend. Your friend probably knows what to expect from your sense of humor, so don’t hold back. Come up with your best dad jokes and puns to show your support for their achievements. Here are some examples:
- “Congratulations on your achievement! Now, let’s celebrate by binge-watching Netflix until we forget what day it is.”
- “You snailed it! Shell yeah!”
- “Congratulations! This is an excellent opportunity for some wine.”
- “You’ve got to be kitten me! You’re pawsitively amazing!”
- “Congratulations! How are you so awesome? You’re making me look bad.”
- “Congratulations! Your future is so bright I have to wear sunglasses just to look at you!”
- “Congratulations… or sorry. Whichever is most appropriate.”
- “Can you stop being so amazing? The rest of us can’t handle it.”
- “Congratulations! Guess you can add ‘superhero’ to your resume now.”
- “Congratulations on reaching the next level of awesomeness! Now, let’s celebrate with cake and questionable dance moves.”

Section 9 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for a New Baby

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Help new parents destress with a funny joke. The arrival of a baby is an incredibly special moment for parents, but everyone knows how stressful a newborn can be. Let the new parents know what they’re in for by making a joke about how busy and tired they’re about to be. Here are some examples:^{[7]
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- “Cuteness factor just increased exponentially! Congrats on this new little love of your life!”
- “Congrats on the baby! Let’s plan something fun in about 18 years.”
- “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Congratulations!”
- “Congratulations! Remember, 99% of parenting is trying unsuccessfully to sit down.”
- “Babies are magic. They make love stronger, homes happier, the days shorter, the nights longer, and bank accounts emptier.”
- “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”
- “May your coffee be strong and your baby naps long.”
- “Congrats on your new alarm clock, also known as a baby!”
- “Don’t worry about the difficulty of raising a child. It’s just as easy as running a marathon, doing your taxes, and wrestling an octopus at the same time… every day.”
- “Welcome to the parenthood club! Eat, sleep, poo, repeat.”

Section 10 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for a New Car

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Make fun of a new car owner’s driving skills. Whether it’s their first car or a replacement, getting a new car can be very exciting. In addition to congratulating the new owner, take the opportunity to call them out on their bad habits, like being late, parking poorly, or constantly bumping into things. Here are some examples:
- “Congrats on the new car! Now you have no excuse for being late.”
- “Congrats on the new wheels! Now, let's see if you can parallel park it without hitting the curb.”
- “Congratulations! Remember, with great power comes great... insurance payments.”
- “Your new car is awesome! Can I have a ride?”
- “Congrats on the new car! Time to hit the road and make some memories (and maybe a few U-turns).”
- “Congratulations on your new car! May you never confuse the gas with the brake.”
- “Congrats on the new ride! I’ll be staying off the roads from now on.”
- “Well done on becoming your own taxi!”
- “Now that you have a new car, we expect chauffeur services to be available 24/7. Congrats!”
- “Congratulations on the new car! Don't forget to give it a name and treat it like part of the family.”

Section 11 of 13:

Funny Congratulations Messages for a New Home

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Share a hilarious housewarming wish with a new homeowner. Joy, laughter, and happy memories are what makes a house a home, so help the new homeowners start off strong by making them laugh at your congratulations card. Make a joke about moving in, embarrass them in front of their neighbors, or tease them about all the money they spent. Here are some examples:^{[8]
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- “You found the perfect place! Now enjoy watching your Pinterest boards come to life!”
- “Okay, so it isn't the Barbie-pink Malibu dream house you always imagined it would be, but it's still cute.”
- “Congrats on the 30-year mortgage! Your ex was wrong—clearly you’re not afraid of commitment!”
- “Enjoy this housewarming essentials kit: WD-40 for everything that doesn’t move and should, duct tape for everything that moves and shouldn’t, and garbage bags to hide the rest.”
- “Congrats to you, and condolences to your neighbors. Have you told them how you like to garden in the nude?”
- “Congrats on the new place. When can I invite myself over?”
- “So now that you can’t afford to go out anymore, what are we going to do for fun, and why is it always going to be in your living room?”
- “Even though you have a new address, here’s hoping the Wi-Fi password stays the same.”
- “So glad you got your own home! This will make it way easier to overstay my welcome now.”
- “I think it’s so cool you bought the haunted house. You’re so brave! Wait, you did know it’s haunted, right?”

Section 12 of 13:

Alternative Words & Phrases for Congratulations

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Say something other than “congratulations” to be unique. If you want to make your message stand out, try saying congratulations without actually saying “congratulations.” There are plenty of alternative words and phrases to use instead, and many of them can be hilarious depending on the rest of your message. Here are some examples:^{[9]
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- Huzzah
- Slow clap
- Attaboy/attagirl
- Hip hip hooray
- High five
- Yippee
- Take a bow
- I salute you
- Hats off to you
- Three cheers

Section 13 of 13:

How to Write a Funny Congratulations Message

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1
Make it personal. When writing a congratulations message, funny or otherwise, show the person you care by personalizing the message to them, their accomplishment, and your relationship with them. For example, a message congratulating someone on the birth of their baby should have a different tone than a message congratulating someone on a new job.^{[10]
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- Tailor your jokes to the person. For example, cursing may be okay if you’re congratulating a friend but probably wouldn’t be appropriate in the workplace.
2
Balance the funny with the sincere. It’s totally okay for your congratulations message to be funny, but remember to add some genuine compliments as well. After all, this is probably a big deal for the person you’re congratulating. In general, stick to one joke, then write another sentence or two letting the person know how excited for and proud of them you are. It’ll make them laugh while showing them that you genuinely care about their accomplishments.
- If your whole message is dedicated to teasing the person, they may feel like you’re making fun of them and aren’t happy for them.
In addition to congratulating the person on their current achievement, it’s generally a good idea to include well wishes for the future. This is especially true for congratulations relating to jobs or promotions, graduations, or marriages. It shows that you’ll be cheering them on every step of the way.