Sons of Steve Garvey

Dodgers. Mets. NLDS. 2006. Remember that? 2006 was a shitty playoffs year. First there was Joe Beimel. Joe Fuckin' Beimel. That's right, we're not afraid to bring him up because he's a symbol of the Dodgers' haunted playoff history against the Mets — a history that can get purged today.

Then there was the infamous home-plate double play, starring Paul "Fuck the Dodgers" Lo Duca. That's right, same year! The Dodgers' most humiliating playoff moment of the aughts still stings nine years later.

But...things are different now. The Dodgers, playing like zombies until, oh, the seventh inning of Game 2, are now the most hated team in the playoffs.

Chase Utley, true Dodger

— Sons of Steve Garvey (@sosgsosg) October 11, 2015

And in the center of the storm is one Chase Utley, until recently firmly in the Jim Thome school of "Legends for Other Teams with a Few Meaningless Innings as a Dodger."

If the Dodgers can step on the Mets' throat today, reveling in the boos and inevitable HBPs, and come away with a huge Game 3 win, we'll look back at the "Chase Utley moment" that started it all. Go make history, Boys in Blue!

GIANTS 7, DODGERS 2

The Dodgers are 2-0 against the Diamondbacks and 2-1 against the Padres, but they're now 0-2 against the Giants after San Francisco once again busted out the bats at Dodger Stadium. In the past two games the Giants have outscored the Dodgers 15-6.

Paul Maholm was ineffective, allowing a solo home run to Michael Morse and a three-run shot to Pablo Sandoval. Jose Dominguez relieved Maholm in the fifth inning and promptly gave up a solo homer to Buster Posey.

Juan Uribe and Andre Ethier contributed RBIs for the Dodgers, and Yasiel Puig had a single, was picked off first base to end the third, and presumably showed up on time.

All from MLBTR:

• Cubs Designate Blake DeWitt For Assignment
• Rangers Sign Joe Beimel
• Cardinals Sign Alex Cora
• Mariners Sign Hong-Chih Kuo

Eric Gagne and Joe Beimel were fan favorites at Dodger Stadium, and both of them would like to recapture some of that old magic. And for some reason, the LA Times felt compelled to send their few baseball reporters not covering Manny's return in San Diego to Quebec and Washington, D.C., to get the players' full stories:

Game (not) over for former Dodger Eric Gagne (LA Times)
Joe Beimel longs to make his home in L.A. (LA Times)

Note to Ned Colletti: Pedro Martinez is still available too. Why not make it a full pitchers' reunion?

It's Opening Day for the first blockbuster movie of the summer, and what better way to celebrate than to consider some of the finest sideburns in major league baseball. Wolverine, as you know, is big with the burns, which can be better seen on this French advance poster:

Hmm, France got the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine a couple days earlier than we did in the States? Sacre bleu! Call me (sar-)Kozy, but that sounds pretty bizarre to me. At least they can't take our MLBers with the burns, including the Dodgers' own:

Joe Beimel, who was the Dodgers' resident king of sideburns from 2006-2008, picking up a nifty 101 Ks over his time as a resident setup man. Hard feelings over his 2006 playoffs beer accident and bad cover-up incident seemed to dissipate over time, particularly in the 2008 season when he held a 2.02 ERA. Beimel's boffo burns led to the birth of Troy from West Virginia, still one of the most frightening Dodger fans I've seen on YouTube. Beimel is continuing his success with the Nationals this year, holding down a 1.23 ERA--but has only appeared in eight games this year, too. All the time hanging out in the bullpen should give him more time to trim his burns to maximum precision.

Jonathan Broxton now wields not one, but both of the biggest sideburns on the Dodgers' squad. The robust closer casts such a large shadow on the Dodgers' staff (literally), that I confess I missed talking about Big Jon during this initial draft of this post. Luckily, we've got great friends over at Mike Scioscia's Tragic Illness who wisely informed me of my notable omission. My bad!

Clayton Kershaw seems to be a late entrant vying for the most distinctive sideburns on the Dodger squad--though to be fair, we've seen some different facial hair options from camera-shy Andre Ethier as well this year. It would be daring for a position player to have his whiskers encroach upon the hirsute cheeks of what has become the pitching staff's territory. But hey, the season is still young, so who knows which Dodger will take the sideburn crown?

The Dodgers could always make a trade to bolster their sideburn needs. The early-season slump of Russell Martin shouldn't cause any of us Dodger fans huge alarm (though Martin is precariously near Mendoza territory after Thursday's game), but Joe Mauer of the Twins could always carry the sideburn torch. A .328 hitter last year, Mauer is set to rejoin the Twins in May after being sidelined by inflammation in the right sacroiliac joint--nothing that a couple of mutton chops can't fix!

Dustin Pedroia, MLB09 The Show cover boy, deserves a mention not only because he's pretty a good player, but the fact that he's a good player means that Pedroia's diminutive size does not result in overuse of the cliche "scrappy," a la David Eckstein, for whom the term is used to rationalize effort over statistics.

And finally, Brady Anderson deserves a mention from the veterans committee. He may have been out of baseball for a decade, but his sideburns hearken back to a time when Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling were on Beverly Hills 90210. The first time, that is.

Any others we may have missed?

Kershaw photo: Harry How/Getty Images

We've been asked to write a few kind words about Jeff Kent. Keeping in mind what our mothers taught us, this is what we came up with.

Relief pitcher Joe Beimel played for the Dodgers only three seasons, yet in that time he experienced highs and lows most players never see during their whole careers. Wherever he ends up this off-season, we can say we've rooted for a player who's not your typical professional athlete.

First, the numbers: Beimel was a workhorse for the Dodgers, appearing in an average of 72 games per season. In 2007 and 2008 he was especially relied upon as a lefty specialist, logging fewer innings pitched than games played. He had an ERA of 2.02 in 2008, his lowest as a Dodger.

However, it was the 2006 post-season that defined Beimel's tenure as a Dodger. In New York on the eve of the NLDS, Beimel broke curfew and went to a bar, where he accidentally cut his hand on a broken glass. Initially he lied about the incident, saying it had occurred in his hotel room. The truth soon emerged, though—and Beimel was too injured to pitch.

The incident seemed to have affected Beimel dramatically. He spent the next 15 months alcohol-free and now says he drinks only socially. In addition, he has been very open in sharing his thoughts on those troubles—as well as the tattoo he says he got to remind himself about the consequences of that night.

2008 provided a measure of redemption for Beimel. Back in the playoffs, the Dodgers called upon him three times in the NLCS against the Phillies. Beimel surrendered two walks in Game 2 but also recorded one out each in Games 4 and 5. It may not have been a star turn, but for someone waiting to prove himself for two years, it must have been a relief.

photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images

Traffic stop stuns Dodgers (Dodgers.com)

Dodgers detained and searched (Diamond Leung)

Much ado about nothing, but not to the guys it happened to (Tony Jackson)

$1.925 million for one year sure sounds sweet to me. And it's not like the Dodgers won't use the lefty in 2008, if 2007 was any indication.

Beimel appeared in a career-high 83 games to set a franchise record for left-handed pitchers last season and went 4-2 with a 3.88 ERA and one save. The 30-year-old joined the Dodgers in 2006, going 2-1 with a 2.96 ERA and two saves in 62 games. He has an overall big league record of 16-22 with a 4.58 ERA.

The last Dodgers' player remaining in arbitration, Beimel can earn an additional $40,000 each by appearing in 50, 60, 70 and 85 games this season.

He had asked for $2.15 million and was offered $1.7 million after making $912,500 last season.

From T-Jax:

Lefty Joe Beimel went to the hospital after last night's game with heart palpitations and remains there now. It isn't thought to be serious, and there is an outside chance he will be available to pitch tomorrow night. ... Meanwhile, Beimel and Wolf aren't the only ailing lefties. Hong-Chih Kuo, who was optioned to Triple-A Las Vegas on Saturday, never got there. He has been placed on the major-league disabled list (15-day) with irritation in his elbow that isn't thought to be related to his two Tommy John surgeries.

From Diamond-L:

Joe Beimel was admitted into a nearby hospital yesterday after experiencing heart palpitations. Beimel, who apparently has no history of heart trouble, might remain in the hospital for further testing to determine the cause.

Hong-Chih Kuo was placed on the 15-day disabled list with elbow irritation after undergoing an MRI on Monday, and he won't be throwing for the next 7-10 days. Kuo had been optioned to Las Vegas last week, but never left Los Angeles after complaining of elbow trouble. The irritation was toward the back of the elbow instead of the ligament, so it is not believed to be related to his two previous Tommy John surgeries.

Joe Beimel is the latest Dodger to feel twangs of injury this spring, following in the footsteps of Rafael Furcal. Maybe he is looking for an excuse to spend more time at the Vero Beach Bar and Grill.

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Left-handed reliever Joe Beimel, who allowed Boston's only run in Monday's 2-1 Dodgers win, will have his throwing elbow examined Tuesday because he felt something "mushy" after his one-inning appearance. "It didn't bother me on the mound, but I felt it after. They'll look at it tomorrow," said Beimel, who allowed three consecutive two-out hits in the eighth inning and was rescued on a perfect relay from Delwyn Young to Tony Abreu to Sandy Martinez that erased the potential tying run at the plate.

It was Beimel's second appearance of the spring after suffering a gash to his pitching hand that kept him out of the playoffs. He struck out pinch-hitter Jacoby Ellsbury and made a goalie-like stop of Alberto Castillo's comebacker to start the eight inning, then allowed three crisp hits -- a single by Brandon Moss, a single by Alex Prieto and a double to Luis Jimenez. On the double, Moss scored and Prieto was nailed at the plate.

See, that's why we won our arbritration ruling. Mush that, Joe.

From "Repko off and running — pain free: Speedy outfielder hopes injury-plagued days are behind him after successful foot surgery" from the L.A. Times:

VERO BEACH, Fla. — Like every player in camp except pitcher Yhency Brazoban, outfielder Jason Repko is running through drills without restrictions. This is especially encouraging for the Dodgers because running is something Repko does particularly well and it's something he was unable to do most of last season.

The right ankle injury he suffered May 9 when he ran into the outfield wall at Dodger Stadium has completely healed and he also believes the planter fascia in his left foot that plagued him for three years is cured.

Also, an update on fallout from Waterglassgate:

There has been no backlash against pitcher Joe Beimel, who cut his hand on a glass in a bar before the playoff series against the New York Mets and was unable to play.

Even pitcher Brett Tomko, who had the harshest comments about Beimel at the time, has no hard feelings.

"It's way behind us," Tomko said. "He has apologized, the team re-signed him, so there is obviously no problem there, and as players, we turn the page and all pull together."

Yes, we turn the page and all pull together, playing together as a team and taking it one game at a time. No problem there.

Dodgers' Beimel wants to put past behind him...

...but we won't let it go!

Don't worry, Joe. Once the season begins, we'll find new things to bitch about.

From "Beimel arbitration panel sides with LA: Left-handed reliever posted a 2.96 ERA in 62 games during '06" at Dodgers.com:

LOS ANGELES -- Left-handed reliever Joe Beimel, whose breakthrough 2006 season ended in pain and embarrassment, lost his salary arbitration case when a panel on Saturday chose the Dodgers' figure of $912,500 instead of the $1.25 million he sought.

After listening to presentations from the player and club on Friday, the arbitration panel could only pick one number or the other, nothing in between, and does not issue any explanation about its decision. Beimel earned $425,000 last year.

Hold on, Joe, and try to grasp the shards of your broken spirit. A cut in pay may lower the bar on your value, but to us you're a slice above, a real smash. Don't bottle up your feelings, but stay sharp and don't let this opportunity slip from your hands.

From "Rangers gamble on Gagne" by Tim Brown at Yahoo! Sports:

Gagne is an incredible teammate, often offering spare bedrooms to rookies and other newcomers. Russell Martin and Jason Repko are recent boarders. He even took Joe Beimel out for a couple beers in New York City, which, granted, did not work out so great for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Thanks a lot, Eric. Thanks a lot.