the anti-soma

I've still not got my kitchen back.  I think we may have to go with a different electrician.  I really, really need my dishwasher.  This is not on.  It's been a month. 

I found out the hard way that I can't tolerate quinine.  I made myself a cocktail with tonic water, and reacted badly to it.  Bad, bad side effects that lasted for more than 24 hours (although the worst was only about 12 hours.  I am...disappointed...by this.  Because a glass mostly full of ice and tonic with a shot of Kracken and a little bit of lime is damn tasty.  And refreshing when it's so stupidly hot and heavily humid as it's been recently.  

My imp's school specified a 1" binder for each class.  We...tried that.  It didn't work.  So didn't work.  Five binders, plus books for classes equals overwhelming for any kid, but neurotypical kids adapt and organize fairly quickly and with varying degrees of well.  Not so much with a neurodivergent kid (like mine, with ADHD).  What we are doing instead is simple: everything goes into a 3" binder with a shoulder-strap.  The classes are divided out by a folder that matches the color we used on his class schedule.  I need to simplify his schedule, too--it's cluttered and confusing for him.  He still doesn't have it memorized, after two full weeks.  

The housework is...in need of attention.  I am trying to keep things picked up off the floor so that I can justify getting a self-emptying robot vacuum.  I can't keep up with the picking up and the sweeping/vacuuming.  Especially not with having to do dishes by hand (even the few that can't be disposables).  

Stress.  Stress sucks.  Especially when you can't stop worrying about things you can't do anything about.  Not because it's national, but because the things you are worrying about aren't things, but the people in your life that you can't do anything to help, either because they fight you on it, ignore you on it, or you've flat given up on trying because they sabotage it.  Stress brings on extra inflammation, and eats energy, and one bad thing about a multitasking brain is that, even when I'm doing something else, I'm still worrying.  Because one track of my brain is still able to focus on that (and does) even when I've got all the others working on something else.  

I have two more weeks before I can get back into my fucking hotmail account.  Two weeks ago, it told me I had to update my security or else.  And then booted me out.  And when I signed in, it told me to input a code from a text.  Sent to my home phone number which doesn't receive texts.  I gave the fucker an alternate email address to send the code to, and it let me in just long enough to input the code from that, then booted me out again, and said I couldn't sign back in until 9/11.  Everything goes to that email addy.  Everything.  Because it's the one I've used for everything since I got married in 2004.  

Dusty Hill died.  So did Charlie Watts.  Yes, I know they were on the older side, especially for rock stars, but damn.  Two of the greats.  I am dreading who's going next.  C'mon, Death, take one of the pop tarts that can't sing or play instead of the greats, this time.  It's been a hell of a month, and I need a fucking break. 

 Migraines.  Migraines can fuck right the fuckety fuck off. I don't get them often, but when I do, they're at the worst possible fucking time, and last a subjective eternity (almost a full three days).  

People who dump kittens can fuck right off.  With a conical cheese grater.  Hell, people who dump any kind of animal.  And they can use Drano as lube.  

Allergies.  Allergies can fuck right off.  My daughter has them.  She's got the same damn symptoms she gets this time every fucking year, and is miserable.  Compounding the misery is that if she goes to school, people will panic.  

Which leads me to...the media.  And politicians.  They can all fuck off either alone or with each other for politicizing a fucking cold.  Yeah, it's a cold on steroids for some, but it's a fucking cold.  

And last, but not least, the fucking shit-for-brains that T-boned my sister's vehicle last weekend can fuck off with the remains of his full-sized pickup jammed up his ass with the bottles of alcohol he'd downed before he got behind the wheel.  May he be visited with all of the injuries he inflicted on my sister and brother-in-law. 

 Month or two ago, my youngest sister and her mother died in a fire.  Her mother...no big loss, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  My youngest brother...is really hurting.* 

Yesterday, my oldest sister and her husband got into a nasty car wreck.  T-bone.  The full-size pickup that hit their smallish SUV was very clearly, from video of the aftermath, going faster than they should have been.  Both survived, but my brother-in-law is likely to be a paraplegic (thankfully--it could have been far worse, looking at the SUV), and my sister-in-law is going to require surgery on Monday for broken ribs and pelvis.  

This fucking year.  This awful, horrendous fucking year.  It can fuck off with the pour-spout of a can of gasoline shoved up its ass and a lighter. 

*I met my youngest sister once when she was less than a year old.  I have never met my youngest brother. 

Monday:

The USPS can fuck off with prejudice.  Seriously, if your posted hours state that you open at 8:30, then answer your goddamned phone at 8:40.  And if you don't, don't leave the fucking "we're closed" message on your machine.  And clear your fucking voicemail so I can leave a fucking message, you goddamned ass-weasels. 

To the "mother" driving at ten miles under the speed limit, texting with one hand and smoking with the other while your curly-headed toddler was flapping her arms above her car seat in the back...I hope you realize you're directly harming your baby girl and putting her in imminent danger through your own white-trash habits.  And by so doing, dooming the child to a life of poverty, sponging off the government, and being a generational problem and drain on my children's resources.  Fuck off and die alone in a fiery car crash before she's old enough to remember you, so that she has a chance at a productive, happy life.

Tuesday:

This sinus headache that snuck up on me while I was grading last chance essays can fuck right off.  Ouch.

Thursday:

I can fuck off for attempting to scale back on the amount of naproxin I take.   OUCH.  I really can't afford to feel like this right now.

This was my week.  How was yours?

Fog.  Fog can fuck right off with the burning hatred of sane drivers everywhere.  We've had fog for most of the mornings this week.  And when I'm on the road in the mornings, it's come to the point where the sun's not quite up yet, so the fog's thick, and not going anywhere. 

Which leads me to my next complaint: what kind of absolute fuckwad drives without their lights on, pre-dawn?  And what kind of even bigger mouth-breathing maggot-brained shit wit does this in pea-soup fog that you can't see the next set of stop lights a block away, or even the fucking brush on the sides of the fucking road?

And that doesn't count the fuckers who not only have no clue that you DON'T FOLLOW THE CAR IN FRONT OF YOU THROUGH THE FOUR-WAY STOP, but are so busy texting that they DON'T NOTICE THEY NEARLY T-BONED THE PERSON WHO HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY until brakes screech and horn blares, then has the fucking audacity to SMILE AND WAVE as they go through anyway. 

After I pick the kids up from school today, I'm hiding in the house for at least the rest of the day. 

In order of when they pissed me off:

Microsoft Word can fuck off.  It shat the bed and deleted, with no recovery, two nearly-finished course schedules, this morning.  I had to start over during my office hours, and hand write out the schedules of due dates for my comp 1 and comp 2 classes, just to make sure this did not happen again.

Other parents of kindergarteners in the school that the pixie goes to.  The children's kindergarten teacher should NOT have to remind parents to FUCKING FEED THE FUCKING CHILDREN BEFORE FUCKING DUMPING THEM IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL!!!! What kind of LAZY FUCKING FUCKS doesn't even FEED THEIR FUCKING KIDS FUCKING BREAKFAST???

Bicycle riders can definitely fuck off.  They can fuck off with their handlebars held perpendicular to their anus when they FUCKING FORGET that they ALSO FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING STOP AT GODDAMNED STOP SIGNS.  I FUCKING HAD THE RIGHT AWAY, YOU RANCID TWATSTAIN!!!  Do NOT scream at me with both middle fingers extended because YOU ran the FUCKING STOP SIGN, and vegetation and other vehicles blocked my view of you until AFTER YOU'D RUN THE FUCKING STOPSIGN!!!  May you try that with a city dump truck, because THAT'S THE ONLY FUCKING THING THAT WOULDN'T BE FUCKING TOTALED BY HITTING YOUR GINORMOUS ASS.

Hotmail can fuck off, too.  Changing the privacy and end user agreements should NOT BE CAUSE TO FUCKING GO OFFLINE FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING AFTERNOON.

Your turn.  Sound off, and have a good Labor Day Weekend.

Specifc ones.  Ones with kids.

Two incidents that I personally witnessed this week:

1.  A mother about my age with a two year old, picking up her four year old at the same time I was.  She brought the family puppy (cute dog, by-the-by), and permitted the toddler to control the leash and harass the puppy the whole time we waited for the preschoolers.  While she herself played on her fucking smartphone, and ignored the small child and puppy.  The puppy, after almost fifteen minutes of constant harassment by the toddler, attempted to bite--I put my purse between dog and toddler arm, and the woman FINALLY picked the dog up.

2. A grandmother, waiting for a four year old from my pixie's class, had two smaller grandsons (about 2 yrs, and maybe 8 months) in the car...in the sun...with the windows down.  I pointed out the shaded parking spots just behind her, and she said she was fine.  And the boys in the back were in the shade, so they were fine.*  AND THEN SHE FUCKING LEFT THEM IN THE CAR TO STAND IN LINE TO PICK UP THE FOUR YEAR OLD because she could still see the car. 

Parents: first, never let a small child be around an animal unattended.  That the first woman not only did so but let her small child control the dog's leash, AND IGNORED THE CHILD, is stupid.  That particular woman can fuck off, and I'd be happy to help her take a selfie of the interior of her esophagus after I've shoved her phone so far up her ass that she'll taste shit for a month.

Second: yes, the car's roof shades kids in the back seat at certain angles.  HOWever.  A black car roof GENERATES heat into the interior, and it's a lot more comfortable to small children strapped into car seats to have the CAR'S roof shaded.  I can attempt to shove the grandparent's car up her ass, but I'm sure the keys would be sufficient.  I imagine having the car alarm go off every time she twists around or something might draw attention to the fact that SHE LEFT HOT KIDS IN A HOT CAR TO STAND IN LINE IN WHAT BREEZE THERE WAS.

I'm sorry, people but the safety of a child FAR outweighs convenience or boredom.  If it doesn't, then that person does not deserve to have care of a plant, much less a child.

*Lethargic, panting, and literally having clothing soaked with sweat is NOT FINE.

To the brainless, mouth-breathing, flaming bag of douche that drove the tractor with the chop-trees-apart brush-hog attachement at 15 mph in a 35 mph zone for three miles through a main north-south route between my daughter's school and my lunch, I hope your tractor gets plowed into by a speeding, giant dumptruck, overturns, and pins you away from your phone, on which you spent the entire twenty-five minute drive (which should have taken about half that long, at most) alternately yammering, and braking without warning.  You, sirrah, can fuck right the fuck off with the brush-hog attachment directly powered by your rear exhaust.

To the oddly unChristian individuals in the Christian school parking lot, are you sure this is the example you want to set for your kids?  Really?  Running up on my bumper, flipping me off, and screaming invective that I can almost understand despite having closed windows because I chose to slow and let one of my fellow parents of a pre-K student (3-4 years old) into the queue to leave?  If so, you may fuck off with a poster-board of "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain" made of rusty razor blades and barbed wire embedded in it, sideways, up your ass.  This is the second time you've done this, and I am glad my daughter was distracted enough to miss it.

To the students who...no, I can't tell students who needed help to fuck off just because I'm late enough getting off campus to go pick up my daughter that I don't get to wave at my son through the door as he goes to lunch.  But that did kinda suck, since I missed one of the little things that brightened my day just a little every day this week.

To the stinking twatwaffle that shoved me sideways into a wall because you have such piss-poor planning skills that you were already fifteen minutes late for class: you need to lose about two hundred fifty pounds, at minimum, and start dressing like a respectable college student, rather than like you're advertising for specialized services to a certain demographic that prefers to fuck things with five times their body mass.  And you can fuck off chasing a rolling plate of nachos to help you drop at least a little bit of that weight.

Yes, my day has rather sucked.  If yours has, too, sound off in the comments.

We have some real winners proposing and making laws.  First, we have sanctuary cities, where people who committed a crime to even be in this country, where apparently it's only a little thing where one of these criminals murder a woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There are reasons I refuse to visit St. Louis and Kansas City in my own state.  That is one of them.

Then we have to appease the sackless herbivores** by creating a policy which disarms our soldiers and prevents them from defending themselves, despite the fact that they also argue that our soldiers and cops are the only ones trained enough to be permitted to own and carry said firearms.  And, of course, gun free zone equals target rich environment for those who have no intention of obeying the law, which led to four of our United States Marines being murdered by hajji at a gun free recruiting area.

And now, we have yet another law passed aimed at public schools in VA: the Every Child Achieves Act. They're so proud of themselves for naming art and music as core subjects.  Sad and sorry thing is this: they just doomed the teaching of art and music to go the same way as reading, writing and math--teaching the subject is going to go the way of teaching subjects tested always do.

And that's leaving aside the simple truth that not every child is capable of achieving to the same levels.  Many are not capable of achieving to the lowest level deemed adequate.  Are they going to do the same as they did with reading, writing, and math, and dumb everything down to the level that the least capable is able to reach, and ignore the ones that are capable of the top levels of achievement?

I know, I know: these things I've mentioned are either against the law (which criminals ignore, as I have already pointed out) or an unintended consequence.  Actually, all three instances are all unintended consequences of totally asinine laws, written and passed by mouth-breathing morons who happen to be for sale tto the highewst bidder.

I'm still debating whether our elected civil servants are whores or pimps, considering that they take the money while the rest of us get screwed. 

I wish they'd go fuck themselves instead.


*Idiots In Charge

**I do not claim credit for this lovely turn of phrase.  It was coined either by the lovely Tam from View From The Porch or one of her friends. 

Seriously: I got nothin'.  I'm damn near done with grading, and as of 10:00 today, I am done with classes. 

I got three more pens re-sacked last night, and will be reassembling and testing them today, and fixing more of the ones I still have to go (after I find and watch videos on replacing J-bars in lever fill pens, and pressure bars in button fill pens). 

Once I'm done with the ones I've got, I'll have another three fountain pens, six vintage ballpoints (which I'll need to research), and one vintage mechanical pencil (which I'll keep, should it be bulky enough to make using it comfortable).  And I'll focus on getting what I have fixed posted and sold on Etsy. 

So no, I really don't have anything to bitch about this week. 

If you do, have at it in the comments. 

Y'know, the United States government has a long and, quite frankly, nasty habit of selling land that was set aside for individuals to others. 

Especially where Native American lands are concerned. 

I honestly don't know why I'm surprised by this. 

I am beyond disgusted, and think that the perpetrators need to be horsewhipped so hard their descendants bear the scars, but not surprised.

And John McCain was in on it.

Profanity laced rant (co-written by my beloved husband) below the fold.

Catching a cold (including post nasal drip and the accompanying cough) right on the heels of pneumonia can seriously fuck off. 

I am so fucking tired of this shit it's not even funny.

Pneumonia can fuck right the fuck off with knobs and cheese.  I swear, I have never in my life been so sick as I have been for the past two weeks.  I'm getting better, but it's slow going, and I still get tired really easy...which can also fuck the fuck off, since there's shit that needs done, and it takes teamwork to get it done!

I am so ready to have this all the way behind me.

What's made your week(s) blow?  Sound off in the comments.

Well.  I'd be finished after today, were it not for the mush-brained twatwaffle who thinks Kipling's Kim described the Great Game of nations in unironic terms (assuming he knows that's where the terms he's been gleefully throwing around come from), and has embraced whole-heartedly applying the term "Great Game" to things: we have the Great Game of Business, and the Great Game of Education.

Why on earth did the Board of Trustees decide to hire a community college player on as a growing and developing full university president?

Because of this idiot, every class must do something during scheduled final exams time.  Yep, every class.  From Choir to Ceramics to College Composition.  Knowledge-based classes and skills-based classes.

I can see the point with the knowledge-based classes, all of which now require a comprehensive final exam, but skills-based?  It's fucking stupid.  It's a waste of the students' time, the instructors' time, and of the resources of the university. 

I s'pose that just matches the fat-fuck waste of space sitting in the university president's office. 

I got a mailing from our health insurance provider last week.  It was with great trepidation that I opened it, since we have a catastrophe plan, one that if it weren't "grandfathered in" (until the PTB decide otherwise), because I've heard of some insurance companies cancelling those plans and either leaving customers hanging or moving them automatically into plans that comply, whether or not the individual can afford it.

All it was was a notification that I have benefits that cover reconstruction surgery should I ever have a mastectomy. 

But the "Affordable" Care Act, and all those involved in both writing it, and raping the country with it can fuck the fucking fuck off.  Each of those involved in raping the country with the ACA can sodomize themselves with a printed copy of it, each page folded until it's all corners, and inserted individually. 

This week can fuck off so hard.  Monday, the alarm didn't go off.  No, Odysseus and I didn't have class, but the kids still had school...and they were being good, and didn't wake us up until ten 'til eight.  They're late if they arrive after 8:05, and we managed to somehow get them there by ten after.  That can fuck off. 

Second, I got sick that night with a mild gastric virus that made me run a fever, and feel like I'd eaten glass...and caused bloating and pain from that...Monday night.  I'm only just now getting over it. 

Third, my CD player in the bedroom quit working. 

And last, but not least, I think I'm coming down with a cold. 

I am so ready for this week to be over...

I really didn't care for the symbolism, yesterday, of the flag coming down over the Pentagon.  Really, really, really didn't like that.  I have to wonder if the twatwaffle that thought of the whole lowering of flags to "honor" the attacks have forgotten our national anthem:

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

The flag needs to never be lowered to "honor" victims of a war declaration.  If anything, it should be raised higher.  Because lowering it?  Yeah, I can see that in honor of something like Sandy Hook, or Columbine, where lone crazy attacks the completely innocent.

When it's brought to half-staff in "honor" of the victims of enemy action during time of war...that stinks of surrender.

And that...that can fuck off.

A good friend of mine was hospitalized at the start of the week because her insulin prescription ran out, and the pharmacy, which is not in town, but is the only pharmacy covered, declared that they'd tried to reach her doctor (lies), but never got a refill order, so she could just bugger off to the hospital with DKA.  Because an emergency 'scrip is far more than they can afford.  So the "Affordable" Care Act and the machinations it's forced insurance companies into to be able to stay afloat can fuck the fuck off.  And King Putt can chansawdomize himself with a rusty, poorly lubricated chansaw that jerks to stops and starts at random intervals.

The lightning storm that blew the fucking AC compressor off the fucking unit can FTFO.  The kids have been whiny, the cats have been whiny, and I've completely lacked patience with the cats underfoot and the kids' acting out.  Thank God that was under warranty--otherwise...yeah, it would hurt family finances.  A lot.  As it is, it's still going to smart.  And that can fuck off, too.

And, once again, nursemaid's elbow can fuck the fucking fuck off.  One of the pixie's preschool classmates had her daddy cause a case.  I don't know who was more distressed, the little girl or her daddy.  And yes, I did help. 

You, sir, are an unmitigated fool and an ass.  You, sir, in your fucking retarded fucking ruling that polygamy is protected under an individual's first amendment rights to freedom of religion, have sentenced us to challenges by goat-fuckers flooding the country through our open borders to the south. 

It isn't just the fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy in their religion, you mouth-breathing fuckwit.

May your daughter (should you have one) marry into the harem of a Muslim man who believes in the gentle corrections dictated by Shari'a law, without knowing what she's getting into.  And may you realize, at that moment, that it's your own fucking fault for the fucking stupid legal decision you made that opened the door for it.

So, the pixie caught something from one of the little snot-gobblers that she goes to preschool with last week.  About Tuesday night, I caught it.  I've spent two-thirds of the first week back to class sick.  And that can fuck off.

Here's hoping I don't lose my voice next week.  

How has everybody else's week been?  Sound off in the comments.