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The Beekeeper

The Beekeeper

The obvious thing to say about this is that it’s dumb as a box of rocks. It’s harder to assess whether the filmmakers are aware of just how few brain cells the script is rubbing together, or just how minimally cogent the filmmaking is. Everyone involved seems to be only barely invested in making something actually worthwhile, and so perhaps what’s on offer here is an intentional distance maintained from the material. What’s weird is that where I would normally feel a sense of indignation at such contempt for the audience, the proceedings are so pathetic I mostly just feel a sense of pity. Certainly Minnie Driver and Jeremy Irons are capable of much better than this. And Jason Statham, bless him, has repeatedly shown that he’s a blunt instrument that can be used for good or bad. Even David Ayer, who has clearly lost his way, once made actually thought provoking if headache inducing entertainments. None of these people deserve as misbegotten a project as this. 

The worst thing of all is that it’s difficult to try not to get offended at the strident MAGA-baiting on display here. There’s a dimwitted conspiracy mongering, a half-brained anti-urbanism, and a mouth-breathing contempt for the law that are all baldly aimed at the lizard brain impulses of the angriest, most reactionary moviegoing voters out there.

I went to see this while on vacation in the Adirondacks, in a musty multiplex left over from the 1980s, located in a practically abandoned shopping mall. Just before the movie started a group of a half a dozen macho dudes in Carhartt gear came into the theater together, each taking a seat in a different row in the mostly empty theater, sitting as heterosexually apart from one another as possible. They laughed at none of the bits that you’d find hilarious if you’d gone in to enjoy a so-bad-it’s-good flick, and when the lights came on at the end, one of them declared, “That s*** was gooood.”

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