Bones (season 5)

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Bones (2005–2017) is a crime drama television series on the FOX Network, inspired by real-life forensic anthropologist and novelist, Kathy Reichs. Forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan specializes in reading clues left behind in a victim's bones. Consequently, law enforcement calls her in to assist with murder investigations when the remains are so badly decomposed, burned, or destroyed that the standard identification methods are useless.

The Harbingers In the Fountain [5.1]

Booth: I do not like cats.

Sweets: Well, that's consistent with the person you were before your brain surgery.

Booth: I don't own a nightclub, I'm not married to Bones, you are not a singing bartender and I hate clowns. So, can I go back to work now?

Sweets: When our sense of reality is challenged - you know - really challenged, it can take some time to regain our footing.

Booth: Look, it's been six weeks since I put my brain box through the blender, there. I am back, baby, huh! Special Agent Seeley Joseph Booth!

[Angela has enlisted the services of a psychic, Avalon Harmonia, to perform a tarot reading on Brennan]

Avalon: This man was lost. You brought him the light that showed him the way home. Without it he would have died.

Angela: Booth was in a coma. Brennan read him the book that she was writing. When Booth woke up he thought that they had a whole different life together, he thought that they were married. He thought that for days.

Avalon: You were joined at that time. You're still joined.

Brennan: [Getting up to leave.] Nothing either of you is saying makes sense.

Avalon: [Turns over another card] Were you pregnant?

Brennan: [Dismissively] What? No, of course not.

Avalon: I mean in your book.

Brennan: [Stares, surprised, for a moment] No, I deleted the book. I'm tired, Angela, I'm going to go check in at the office and then go home. Nice to meet you, Miss Harmonia. [Leaves]

Angela: [About Brennan] Underneath the icy exterior beats a very warm heart.

Avalon: Her life is at a very critical turning point. Between great happiness - [She turns over a card.]

Angela: [Reading the card] That's "Death".

[Avalon gives Angela a meaningful look but says nothing.]

Cam: What's really on your mind?

Booth: [Sighs, troubled] All right, um, that, uh, place that I went to, you know, in my coma dream? It was just, Bones and I, it was so real.

Cam: [Bluntly] You're in love with Dr. Brennan.

[Booth is shocked, Cam just smiles gently.]

Booth: [After a pause] What I'm wondering is, am I the same guy?

Cam: A sweet, kick-ass FBI murder solver with hard fists and a lion heart? Mmm, yep, you're still him. My advice, for what it's worth, forget the bruised brain and go with your lion heart.

Booth: Right, right, yeah, and tell Bones how I feel.

Cam: Yes. Except, be sure about your feelings, because if you crack that shell and you change your mind, she'll die of loneliness before she'll ever trust anyone ever again.

Sweets: Do you know what you're looking at?

Booth: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure you haven't been this close to one in a long time.

Sweets: It's a PET scan of your brain.

Booth: Hmm. Then I was wrong.

Sweets: This is called the ventral tegmental area, and this is the dorsal caudate body. Now these two areas have been proven to be linked to romantic love and sexual arousal.

Booth: Okay, if this is your version of dirty pictures, they're not working for me right now. [Closes the laptop computer.]

Sweets: No. [Reopens computer] This, uh, this scan was taken before your operation. The green and blue colors indicate very low activity. The same scan while you were in the coma: lit up like the fourth of July. You were dreaming of being in love, of being married, right? [changes image] The same scan, three days ago. Before your operation you were not in love. After your operation you were. Conclusion: your feelings are not real and will fade away, like every other symptom of your coma. Now, I think you and I both know that Dr. Brennan's hyper-rationale is really just a cover for a very vulnerable and sensitive core.

Booth: Oh, great. So we're talking about Bones' brain, too, here now.

Sweets: So, if you breach those defenses and it turns out you don't really love her -- [puts PET scans on table] -- I left you hard copies.

Avalon: Dr. Brennan, how are you feeling?

Brennan: Well, they gave me medication, so I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel all the time. I came here to see if you ran away.

Avalon: No, I'm here looking for clues. Something I might have missed.

Brennan: In your cards? Because that is a waste of time.

Avalon: You say that after I sent Agent Booth to save your life.

Brennan: Well, you knew where the bodies were buried. You knew Dr. Leacock would attack me.

Avalon: [turns over a card] You were an abandoned child. [turns over another card] The world scares you, so you wrap it up neatly in bonds of reason, education and proof. All riddles are solvable to you, except for one.

Brennan: Yes, the riddle of how you knew where your sister was buried.

Avalon: No. The riddle you can't solve is how somebody could love you.

Brennan: [laughs dismissively] Well, I'm beautiful and very intelligent.

Avalon: The answer to the question that you're afraid to say out loud is: yes, he knows the truth of you, and he is dazzled by that truth.

The Bond In The Boot [5.2]

Sweets: Do you want my advice?

Brennan: No.

Sweets: Okay, if you really want to help Booth, you should let him teach you about plumbing.

Brennan: I'm a wealthy, accomplished woman. Why would I want to learn a menial skill?

Sweets: Well, for Booth, so he can regain whatever he feels he's lost. I think, for once, it would be beneficial if you were the student.

Brennan: Shouldn't we be honest with each other?

Booth: We're honest! I mean, aren't you? I mean, I am.

Brennan: So you have no problem with me making so much more money than you.

Booth: No. [Brennan makes a face] Well, yeah, but it's -- it's a little weird. I mean, you're loaded. You're really loaded, and you still don't even have a flat screen. That's just kind of weird, to be honest. It's a little French, if you ask me.

Brennan: Don't you feel that your life would be different if you were wealthy?

Booth: Sure, but better? I wouldn't have to fly coach but what life throws us, that's what makes us who we are, right? I mean, Fighting through stuff. The good things, they're not any sweeter if you're rich. [looks at Brennan] Parker, okay, gave me hug because it's my weekend and me and you when we solve a case, I mean that's not about money, right?

Brennan: [smiles] No, no it's not.

Rutledge: I'm afraid protocol in the intelligence community isn't as simple as someone like you is used to. [Brennan looks to Booth]

Booth: Someone like me? Look, Rutledge, the more you tell us about your agent's assignment, the easier it will be for us to track down the guy who murdered him.

Brennan: That's what "someone like him" does.

[...]

Rutledge: As far as what assignments he was working on, that information is classified. And far beyond what I am able to share with...

Booth: With someone like me.

Rutledge: Yes.

Booth: FYI, you know what? I have Level 3 clearance and my SSBI was renewed two months ago, which allowed me to get this warrant. [shows Rutledge a warrant]

Brennan: [impressed] Well played Booth!

Booth: Thanks Bones!

Rutledge: [reads the warrant] Right. She doesn't have clearance. [points to Brennan] You can wait in the lobby, Dr. Brennan.

Brennan: [as she is about to leave] You know, I can keep a secret.

Brennan: Rutledge said the bug was checked out in your name.

Mandy: I got the bug because I was afraid Greg was cheating on me.

Booth: So why didn't you mention this before?

Mandy: We weren't supposed to date! I guess it's not like the FBI. We're not allowed to sleep with someone we're working with.

Brennan: Is she talking about us?

Booth: We're not.

Brennan: No!

Mandy: Oh, it's okay. I'm CIA. My lips are sealed.

Sweets: Perhaps he's a double agent. I mean, Rutledge certainly fits that profile. They're usually intelligent male officers, who had poor father figures resulting in repressed anger and revenge fantasies.

Harold: Double agent?

Sweets: By betraying his country Rutledge is, in a sense, choosing a new father. One who might treat him better than the last.

Brennan: Yes, but that would also fit Booth and he's not a double agent. Are you?

Booth: Stop. Watch it, Sweets!

Sweets: Elephants are gray, Agent Booth, but not all gray things are elephants.

Booth: [whispers] That's good for me, right?

Brennan: [whispers] Yeah.

The Plain in the Prodigy [5.3]

Booth: You know, when I was a kid, Bones, I always wanted to be a hobo. I wanted to ride the rails, play the guitar --

Brennan: Be malnourished, riddled with preventable disease.

Booth: I tell you what. You know what? You could make Santa Claus cry. You really could.

Brennan: [notices Booth's "Cocky" belt buckle] Hey, you're wearing your belt buckle again! Cocky.

Booth: Yeah. Ever since the whole coma thing I just kept staring at it thinking to myself, why would I wear something like this?

Brennan: Because you love it. You always have.

Booth: Yeah, that's what I landed on, Bones.

Brennan: Oh, well I'm glad you did. I like it. It's Boothy.

Booth: Boothy?

Clark: Actually, I'm more of a lab rat, Dr. Brennan. Perhaps somebody more outdoorsy would be better.

Brennan: Clark, if there's spinal damage that corresponds to the compression fractures on the long bones, we could have cause of death. I need those bones. You're the most qualified. Don't scratch your neck with the gloves!

Clark: [affects a Southern accent] Well, is it all right if I get a drink of water, boss? You know, it's awful hot out there, and them tools is mighty heavy.

Brennan: Of course you can get water. Why are you talking like that?

Clark: Never mind. I'll go.

Brennan: You just said that you were having sex when you were sixteen.

Booth: That's different!

Brennan: Oh, so there's a double standard?

Booth: Of course! You know what, Cam needs to shut that down. Finish.

Brennan: I said that Michelle should wait until she's at least seventeen and a half.

Booth: Is that how old you were?

Brennan: No, I was 22.

Booth: Twenty-two?!

Brennan: Don't -- why do you sound shocked?!

Booth: No, it's just that that's a good age. Twenty-two??

Brennan: It was an important decision! I gave it a lot of thought. I finally found a man who could provide a skillful introduction, and...

Booth: You make it sound like it was a class that you took. You know, the first time you should be in love. You know, totally goo-goo for the other person.

Brennan: Were you when you were sixteen?

Booth: Well part of me was.

Michelle: But I'm scared. Is that weird? I mean, it's just sex, right? It's all over the TV and everywhere.

Cam: Whoa, there's no such thing as 'just sex', Michelle. Every time you give a bit of yourself to the person you're with. So it's okay to wait as long as you want.

Michelle: I don't want to lose Perry.

Cam: If Perry doesn't understand how you feel, he doesn't deserve you.

Booth: Michelle's family to me. I'm her number one uncle.

Perry: Really? She, she didn't mention...

Booth: I'm also a trained sniper. [reveals the gun in his shoulder holster]

Perry: Ok, wow, uh...

Booth: [puts his arm around Perry] Listen, Perry, all right? You're a red-blooded young man and uh, Michelle's – she's an attractive young girl. So I assume that you...

Perry: What? No, no, no!

Booth: Because Michelle deserves your respect, you understand?

Perry: I do! I do respect her. We were just going to the movies tonight.

Booth: All right. And if you behave anyway less than a gentleman towards her, I'll find you. I think we understand each other, right?

The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood [5.4]

Cam: There's a guy on my street who cut his lawn on the diagonal. The neighbors got angry, someone set his garage on fire.

Booth: Well, I mean yards, sidewalks, you know, clean streets, birds flying by...

Cam: Dead body in the barbecue pit.

Booth: Oh, okay. You know what, I'm going to go talk to the neighbors, see if anyone who cut their lawn diagonally is missing.

Cam: Were you guys aware that Arastoo doesn't really have an accent?

Booth: Yeah, he does. It's thicker than Ahmed the rug merchant. [to Brennan] Was that racist? It sounded racist.

Booth: Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second. You and Parker discussed my sex life?

Angela: Well, we discussed your lack of sex life.

Booth: Angela, neither you nor him, especially him, knows anything about my sex life.

Angela: Well, he knows that daddy ain't getting any, and he's concerned. He thinks you need a girlfriend... to have sex.

Booth: He said that?

Angela: Well, his exact words were, "To sex up." I think you need to talk to him honestly about your love life.

Booth: You kidding me? No offense, but I'm not talking about...

[Cam enters]

Cam: Hey...

Booth: What?

Cam: Want to run our friendly neighborhood suburbanites through the National Gun Permit Database, see if any of them own a .44? Hodgins found that in the pit. [She hands Booth the bagged bullet]

Parker: Hi, Dr. Saroyan. Do you have a boyfriend?

Angela: See? This is exactly how it started with me.

[Cam looks puzzled and amused]

Booth: [Walking to Parker] Come on. Let's go. Come on. I gotta get you back home, or your mom's gonna kill me, all right? [They turn to leave – he looks at Parker's painted face] Let me see this stuff. [To Angela] Does this stuff come off?

Angela: Oh, seriously. That's your big worry right now?

Paula Lindbergh: I was afraid this would come up when I heard you took Trey in for questioning.

Booth: You're right, so start talking.

Paula: I should never have made Elliot move to the suburbs. In a way, I emasculated him.

Brennan: Oh, God. She's a therapist. She talks like a therapist.

[...]

Brennan: Interlocking lines of persuasion between members of the collective result in multiple duplicities.

Paula: Oh, my God. She's an anthropologist. She talks like an anthropologist!

Booth: It takes a village, Bones.

Brennan: I... I beg your pardon?

Booth: A village to raise a kid properly! It takes a village!

Brennan: Metaphorically. It doesn't mean we must all grow up in hamlets of 800 people or less.

Booth: Thanks. Will you be my village?

Brennan: Huh?

Booth: I need Parker to know that I lead a full and rewarding life.

Brennan: But you don't.

Booth: What? Yes, I do!

Brennan: No, you don't. You work too much, you don't socialize, all of which prevents you from having a sex life.

Booth: Okay, let's take a hint from the suburbs and just make it look good.

Brennan: Wait, you to know if I'll help you fool your son into thinking your life is gratifying?

Booth: Yeah! Will you do it?

Brennan: Well, how?

Booth: Come to dinner with us, have fun, laugh at my jokes.

Brennan: That might actually turn out to be fun, thus becoming a self fulfilling desire.

Booth: Right! So, you'll do it?

Brennan: [smiles] Yes! I will be your hamlet of 800 people or less.

A Night at the Bones Museum [5.5]

Cam: What are you doing here, Sweets?

Angela: He's Daisy's trainer. If she attacks, he can put her down.

Angela: When I was in Rio, some kid graffitied a mummy in the National Museum. Next day, choked on his own tongue.

Cam: [stunned] Seriously?

Angela: Death shall come on swift wings to he who disturbs the peace of the mummy.

Cam: I guess I'd be angry too if someone pulled my brain out through my nose and stuck it in a canopic jar.

Angela: Hey! How could you not tell me that you were on a date when I texted you?

Brennan: It was just drinks!

Angela: Celibate. Seeking crumbs. Spill.

Brennan: He's Booth's boss's boss. His name is Andrew.

Angela: Wait, this is his boss's boss? Was Booth upset?

Brennan: Yes. I don't know why.

Angela: Brennan, this could screw up the natural order of things, and Booth wishes that you were going out with him.

Brennan: I drink with him all the time, but with Andrew there is the potential for sex.

Angela: And not with Booth?

Sweets: Dr. Saroyan, I'm having some serious problems with Daisy. Can I ask your advice?

Cam: No.

Sweets: No, really.

Cam: Really. I have a sixteen year old, and believe me, when it comes to dating advice, I am batting a red hot zero.

Sweets: But you've been through this like a million times yourself!

Cam: Did you just call me old?

Booth: Bones doesn't feel the pressure to act or do or say anything that she doesn't want to, and no one, no one, can make her. That's what makes her Bones.

The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken [5.6]

[Inside Angela's office]

Booth: I thought Hodgins would have something on this whole "suspended animation" thing. [hands Angela a folder]

Angela: [amused] Hey, you listen to Hodgins?

Booth: I listen to Wendell.

Brennan: [looks at the file Angela is reading] Woah...what is DARPA?

Angela: Uh, it's a Department of Defense agency. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Hodgins says they're into some pretty weird stuff, like creating super-soldiers who don't need sleep and can kill with their laser beam eyes.

[...]

[Angela shows Booth her reconstruction of the victim's face]

Booth:: [chuckles, looks at Angela facetiously] What's that supposed to be?

Angela: Half man, half chicken.

Booth: Come on!

Brennan: I believe this to be fairly accurate.

Booth: Ok, so you want me to go ask the Defense Department if their experimental super-soldier is half man half chicken?

Hodgins: DARPA created a chicken soldier?

Wendell: I do not see the United States military making chicken soldiers. Eagle, maybe.

Hodgins: That's why we couldn't find his so-called fingers, because they're transformed into talons. I mean, talons would be much better weapons.

Sweets: [shows Booth the menu] Hey, today's special: chicken. Ironic.

Booth: Right... [discreetly aside to Brennan, shields his face with menu] Everything ok there Bones? I know when something's wrong with you. And something's wrong. What can I do to help?

Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.

Booth: [puts menu down] Nothing I can do to help!

Brennan: You want to hear about it?

Booth: No!

Sweets: Why not?

Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends and Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then, you know, the two of them are gonna make up and then they're gonna be mad at me. So, no thank you!

Sweets: It's very interesting.

Booth: [to Sweets] You know, the way you say "very interesting" is very irritating. Listen, Bones, I'd do anything for you. I'd die for you, I'd kill for you, but I am not getting in the middle of two best friends.

[...]

[Brennan gets up to leave]

Booth: [grabs her hand] Woah, woah, listen, Bones. Everything is gonna be ok between you and Angela. All right? You two are like sisters.

Brennan: [sadly] I'm just not used to not getting along with people.

Sweets: Seriously? 'Cause it seems like–– [groans as Booth cuts him off by kicking him extremely hard under the table]

Brennan: Thanks, Booth.

Brennan: Angela'll come around.

Sweets: You're certain that she will.

Brennan: Eventually, Angela will see the rational nature of my argument.

Sweets: She will come around.

Brennan: I already said that.

Sweets: [smiles] Hey, crazy thought. What if this time you were the one who came around?

Brennan: Saving one pig isn't a rational act. Are you suggesting that I point that out to Angela more clearly? Because that would make this conversation very much like a professional consultation.

Sweets: No, I'm suggesting, in a very friendly conversational way, that you help her save that one pig.

Brennan: But we agreed that that's a meaningless act.

Sweets: Meaningless by your definition, not by Angela's.

Brennan: My definition is correct.

Sweets: Yes, and if life were simply a debate, you would win hands down. But we know it isn't a debate. It's something much tougher. You know, our very work shows us that... that those people that call the world an abattoir, a slaughterhouse, they have a point. Now, you handle that knowledge by imposing this gossamer web of rationality over the ugliness. Angela has a very different way of handling it. Sometimes you don't save the world, Dr. Brennan. Sometimes you just make your friend happy.

Brennan: Even when it's irrational? [Sweets nods]

Brennan: You noticed something! See! You've still got it!

Booth: You're not going to ask me what I saw?

Brennan: Do I want to know?

Booth: No. Do you want to know anyway?

Brennan: Nope. It can wait. I trust you.

The Dwarf in the Dirt [5.7]

Sweets: There have been a few changes in Booth.

Wyatt: Since the brain tumor?

Sweets: Yeah, is that why he came to you? He doesn't trust me? Oh, right. How could I forget about cook/client privilege.

Wyatt: Chef/client privileges!

Sweets: Has he also told you about how now when he climbs stairs he leads with his right foot rather than his left? He holds his phone to a different ear. Coffee in his left hand.

Wyatt: How wretchedly observant of you.

Sweets: Not me: Dr. Brennan.

Todd Moore: You two think I killed Bryce, tossed him into a sink hole so I could take over the franchise?

Wyatt: Well, I was there when Agent Booth identified himself as FBI and you ran.

Sweets: Running away from the FBI is always suspicious.

Moore: [slams his hands on the table] I'm Canadian. My work visa expired a week ago. I thought you were gonna ship me back to Sudbury. Have you ever been to Sudbury? [Wyatt and Sweets shake their heads] You would've ran too.

Wyatt: I don't think Booth has brain damage.

Sweets: What's his problem?

Wyatt: May I ask why you didn't publish your book on Booth and Brennan?

Sweets: What, is there a connection between my book and Booth's marksmanship?

Wyatt: I believe you didn't publish it because you're afraid of how Brennan and Booth would react to its conclusion.

Sweets: My book concludes that Brennan and Booth are in love with each other.

Wyatt: It's a scrummy conundrum, isn't it?

Sweets: I believe that as a reaction to the childhood traumas of abuse and abandonment, Dr. Brennan utilizes her intellect to armor herself from intense levels of emotion, like love.

Wyatt: And Booth?

Sweets: Well, subconsciously he's sensitive to her vulnerability. He knows that acting upon his feelings for her would amount to a kind of assault.

Wyatt: I couldn't agree with you more.

Wyatt: Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.

Brennan: I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him.

Wyatt: When you were in the coma, you got a glimpse of another world.

Booth: Great, and how does that help me aim my gun?

Wyatt: Temperance Brennan. You're in love with her. You're building a world around her. Family.

Booth: We're not compatible. She sees the world one way, I see it another way.

Wyatt: Of course! It's absolutely ludicrous, the idea of you together, but the heart chooses what it chooses, doesn't it? We don't really have a say in the matter.

Booth: She doesn't love me. I would know if she loved me.

Wyatt: May I counsel patience on this front. Hope and patience.

The Foot in the Foreclosure [5.8]

[Booth receives a call from a police officer about his grandfather Hank]

Hank: Wait a minute... [grabs phone from the officer] Seeley, I'm fine. I just took a subway to see my friend Willy Louis. I mentioned him to you. We were in the 82nd together.

Booth: [trying hard to keep his cool] Yeah. I remember, Pops.

Hank: Well, the son of a bitch up and died on me! They had the funeral three weeks ago and nobody even told me.

Angela: Hey, Booth must be cute with his grandpa, huh?

Brennan: His grandfather calls him "Shrimp". Booth seems to like it, which I don't understand.

Angela: Well, it's because it makes him feel loved, like when he actually was a shrimp.

Brennan: So the moniker is a sign of affection?

Angela: Very good, Brennan. You never had a nickname?

Brennan: Oh, no, just what Booth calls me; just Bones.

Hank: Did I take these blue pills?

Booth: You took the yellow pills.

Hank: I feel like a damn chemistry experiment! They didn't have this stuff fifty years ago and everybody was fine!

Brennan: Actually, medicine has increased life expectancy quite a bit since 1959. Fifty years ago, you'd probably be dead.

Booth: Bones!

Hank: No, I like her. She's real. She's got balls.

Brennan: Well, ovaries, actually.

Hank: All right, you've got a pair of steel ovaries.

Brennan: Thank you.

Booth: Will you two, please!

[Booth and Brennan are driving to interview a suspect with Booth's grandfather Hank sitting behind.]

Brennan: Being overweight wasn't always stigmatized. During the Middle Ages in Italy, the wealthy and influential members of society were called popolo grosso, meaning literally, fat people.

Hank: Is she always like this?

Booth: You know, Pops, she always has the facts, Pops. Always.

Hank: You should go on a game show. You'd clean up.

Booth: I tell her that all the time, but you know, she's already loaded.

Hank: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money and you're just friends? [Booth looks back at him in bemusement, speechless] I didn't raise you very well.

[Booth and Brennan look at each other awkwardly, still speechless.]

Hank: Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.

Brennan: Scared, what? I'm not scared of anything.

Hank: It all goes by so fast. You don't want any regrets.

Brennan: I don't understand.

Hank: Yes, you do.

The Gamer in the Grease [5.9]

Booth: Fishing is not a sport!

Brennan: What? Monuments to sporting events in ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling.

Booth: Come on! No sweat, no sport!

Brennan: Well -- oh! Boris Spassky at chess. He used to perspire profusely.

Booth: Why do you got to make things so complicated? Let me break it down for you, okay? Basketball, football, hockey: that's a sport. Board games, fishing: not a sport!

Cam: No problem going easy on the fried food after this one.

Brennan: Well, the International Olympic Committee is considering adding chess as a sport.

Cam: Not a sport.

Booth: See! Not a sport!

Cam: Neither is, uh, ribbon twirling, bridge or synchronized swimming.

Booth: Synchronized swimming, that's not a sport, that's for sure.

Cam: Oh, God. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I? Oh, look! Dead guy!

Booth: Yeah, look at that. Colonel's not going to like this one.

Cam: Male, no sign of clothing, all other stats still unknown. He was found at the bottom of this grease receptical by those lovely gentleman over there.

Brennan: The remains are covered in flesh. Why am I here?

Cam: I don't know. I told Booth. Oh, God. In the middle again!

Fisher: He was beaten and stabbed. Somebody really went after this guy.

Cam: Those injuries didn't kill him. There's grease in all levels of the bronchi, which means our victim was alive when he was tossed into the vat. Cause of death is drowning and cooking, or vice versa.

Fisher: Saturated fats; they're a killer.

Booth: Steve Rifton, 26-year-old mailman reported missing by his wife twelve days ago. You figured out he was a mailman and guess what? He's a mailman!

Brennan: Why are you surprised?

Booth: It just surprises me. It amazes me sometimes how you can figure that stuff out. It's a mailman! You figured that out!

Brennan: [smiling] I'm good at my job.

Booth: Wait until you see what I've got here. Okay, here --

Brennan: Marked in red.

Booth: Right. Is Steve Rifton's postal route. And here --

Brennan: Marked in black.

Booth: Right, is the grease truck's route. See what I've done here?

Brennan: Obviously you've created a geographic Venn diagram.

Booth: No, no, no, no incorrect. What I've shown is here is they've overlapped in the same area.

Brennan: You need to Google "Venn diagram."

[Angela walks into her office and catches Hodgins, Sweets and Fisher watching a trailer of Avatar on her big screen monitor]

Angela: What's with the blue people?

Hodgins, Sweets & Fisher: The Na'vi.

Angela: I beg your pardon?

Fisher: Denizens of a lush planet called Pandora.

Angela: [walks in front of the monitor] You boys are not allowed to watch movies on my monitor.

Hodgins: Angela, this is so much more than a movie.

Sweets: Yeah, I mean we're sorry but the screen is so big!

Fisher: You got porn on this thing?

Angela: [unimpressed] Get out. Out!

Fisher: There's a lip here. I'm thinking a smooth, rounded edge.

Hodgins: Okay, Sweets said he had an appointment he can't miss, so --

Fisher: Follow me on this. The mailman is delivering his package to the "lady of the house", if you catch my drift. The husband comes home, finds the nearest blunt instrument, which is a cast iron frying pan, huh? And WHAM! The postman who rang twice never rang again.

Hodgins: Yeah, yeah, that totally works. If the husband is a peacock wrangler who fights crickets after work in a creeping red fescue field.

Fisher: Peacock?

Hodgins: Yeah, what I thought was silk turns out to be the thread from the after feather of a peacock.

Fisher: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me.

The Goop on the Girl [5.10]

Angela: [seeing Booth on a cart being pushed by Brennan only in his boxers] Uh, are we doing an experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd like to help.

Booth: Make fun of the naked guy. Knock yourself out.

Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?

Booth: I'm highly evolved.

Brennan: His pubic extension is entirely within normal––

Booth: [cuts Brennan off] Enough!

Booth: So I have decided to take you up on your offer.

Brennan: What offer?

Booth: You invited me to your house for Christmas dinner. You forgot you invited me.

Brennan: No, it's just -- no! My dad brought by my second cousin and... I really didn't like her.

Booth: Well that makes sense.

Brennan: Why do you say that?

Booth: Because she's family. Ninety percent of the time, family just gets under your skin. That's the difference between family and friends.

Brennan: She's unapologetically dogmatic, she lives her entire life based on the quotations of Benjamin Franklin.

Booth: Maybe she feels the same way about you and your mania of logic.

Brennan: Mania?

Booth: Okay, enthusiasm.

Brennan: Sometimes people are terrible.

Booth: Yeah, I know.

Brennan: Cam says that the victim's mother is burying him on Christmas morning.

Booth: I heard that.

Brennan: It's just him and his mom, right?

Booth: Yeah, guy worked alone, he never had any time for friends. What's wrong?

Brennan: Max told me that being alone at Christmas means that nobody loves you. She's burying her son. Alone. On Christmas. I think that's heartbreaking.

Booth: You know, when I say heartbreaking you say that the heart is a muscle, so it can't break. It can only get crushed.

Brennan: Isn't it heart-crushing?

Booth: You want to go to his funeral?

Brennan: Yes, I would. Then she won't be alone.

Booth: You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.

Owen Thiel: A man died this week. By all accounts, he was a... good man. Loved his mother. Worked hard. Shouldered his responsibilities. Man that any one of us would be proud to call a friend. I killed him with this microphone. I killed him by going on these airwaves and sharing my rage with you, spreading my rage. Now, you can say it wasn't my fault. It was a coincidence. I thought about that. Thought about it a lot, but the fact is—the fact is that if it weren't for me, he might still be alive. I'm so sorry for that. And I remembered something that I forgot over the last few years. That God is not only a god of anger and vengeance. My religious beliefs tell me that Christ did not die in vain. That He died to redeem us all. And I intend to show that this good, simple man also did not die in vain. That he redeemed one angry, shouting man. So these are the last words I will ever broadcast. I hope that they're the words you remember best. Peace on Earth.

The X in the File [5.11]

Brennan: Her skeletal robusticity and large areas of muscle attachment suggest extremely good health.

Cam: A couple of weeks in the desert and no critters got at these remains?

Wendell: Perhaps there was a lot of green radiation from alien hyperdrive systems? [Cam and Brennan look at him strangely] Or something not crazy.

Brennan: The man who found them remarked that he saw several sets of orange eyes staring at him from the darkness.

Wendell: Orange eyeballed aliens?

Brennan: Tapetum lucidum of the American coyote glows orange when light strikes the retina. What he saw were likely coyotes, not orange eyeballed aliens. [pauses] Oh, you're being facetious. That was funny.

[Booth is interrogating Marvin Breekman and has his laptop open video-conferencing with Sweets through his earpiece.]

Booth: So Mr. Breekman, you were abducted by aliens five years ago?

Marvin: Yes.

Booth: If aliens are so advanced why would they need probes?

[On Booth's laptop screen. Sweets is looking peeved that Booth is not following his suggestions.]

Marvin: I think they like it.

Booth: [subtly mocking] Why would you hook up with aliens if they like to anally probe you?

Marvin: There are two races of aliens and they do not see eye to eye.

Booth: [looks at Marvin] Right.

[...]

[After questioning Marvin]

Booth: [looks at him, unconvinced] I don't believe you. I think you're lying.

Sweets: [via earpiece] Sometimes I think you just pull me into these interrogations to show off. Wait Booth, I–– [Booth ignores Sweets and shuts his laptop]

Brennan: Oh, good! You got here for the good stuff!

Booth: What good stuff?

Brennan: The MRI. It's an older model but entirely serviceable.

Booth: Okay, for future reference, that's not the good stuff.

Brennan: Sure it is! Look at all those remodeled lateral muletas fractures. Also, signs of inflammation to the tendon fibers here and damage to -- [looks up to see the body appearing to sit up and screams in reaction]

[Booth draws his gun only to have it pulled from his hand by the magnet in the MRI. Brennan shuts the machine down; the body and the gun fall to the ground.]

Booth: [stunned] You know, I won't say anything about the scream if you don't say anything about the gun.

Brennan: [still in shock] Those terms are satisfactory.

Booth: Right.

Sweets: Dr. Hodgins, I'm kind of in the middle of --

Hodgins: You were right, Sweets. Everything is not fine. [sighs] It's not fine at all!

Sweets: This is a good time.

Hodgins: I don't know if I want to crawl into a hole and die or run over Wendell and Angela with a truck.

Sweets: You know, it's natural to have these feelings.

Hodgins: I'm a better man than this! I want to be happy for them, you know, I really do.

Sweets: Well, it's easier for us to accept loneliness as long as the person we were once with is also alone.

Hodgins: Then when she finds happiness with someone else, oh man, it's like being stabbed in the heart.

Brennan: It's ridiculous to think that there's anything on this planet worth seeing which merits crossing what are literally astronomical distances.

Booth: Maybe aliens are anthropologists. Maybe they just want to study our religion, and sex, and love, and our funny languages and line dancing.

Brennan: That's an interesting possibility I hadn't considered.

Booth: Well they're living creatures. They like to reach out, Bones.

Brennan: Living creatures like to reach out and eat each other.

Booth: Oh, so what are you saying? That the aliens just want to come down here and drink our spinal fluid?

Brennan: Well, if the aliens are advanced enough to fly faster than light, then they can probably make spinal fluid.

Booth: Well you just said that aliens are nice.

Brennan: I did not.

Booth: You just basically said that aliens are nice anthropologists.

Brennan: I don't think so.

Booth: You think that aliens are you!

Brennan: [laughs] You got me! I'm one of them. I was sent down as an advanced scout.

Booth: Ha! I knew it! No probing! No probing!

Brennan: [laughs] Hey, probing is a valuable way to gather information.

Booth: I know how you people like to probe!

The Proof in the Pudding [5.12]

Cam: Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?

Brennan: No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.

Cam: Do you want to know why I'm asking?

Brennan: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.

Cam: No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people, besides me, that use that bathroom are you and Angela.

Brennan: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.

Cam: Very true.

Brennan: With Wendell!

Cam: Very, very active!

Brennan: And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.

Cam: You are so cheering me up right now.

Andrew Hacker: [on the phone to Booth] Booth, are you being held against your will?

Booth: [scoffs] C'mon. I can get out if I wanted to.

Hacker: That's not the question I asked you. I asked you, is an agent of the FBI being held by persons unknown against his will?

Booth: Yeah. We all are.

Hacker: Then on behalf of the FBI I am annoyed by their arrogance.

Cam: You two don't understand. Booth is a very patriotic man. He believes this is the greatest country ever.

Brennan: Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.

Sweets: It's naive to think that a country the size and influence of the US doesn't pursue secret agendas.

Cam: Kennedy's assassination wasn't a secret agenda, it was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot for his country?

Brennan: Approximately fifty.

Sweets: Wow. That's a lot of blood to have on your hands. It's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.

Cam: And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right, and who did he trust?

Sweets: The government.

Brennan: [realizes] Oh.

Cam: If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.

[Sweets, Hodgins and Angela watch on as Booth single-handedly takes on the three GSA agents assigned to lock down the lab.]

GSA Agent: [corners Booth] What've you got, feeb?

[Cam cringes as Booth kicks the agent in the groin and subdues him.]

Booth: [handcuffing the agent] Good old American classic on that one, pal.

Angela: [laughs and applauds] Oh my god!

Hodgins: Man, you Butch Cassidy'd them!

Sweets: [cheers] That was totally ninja! Maybe some anger issues there but you kicked ass!

[Hacker enters building with SWAT]

Hacker: [via megaphone] Stand down and drop your weapons! This facility is officially under the jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. [Booth looks at him incredulously] Aw man. Ten seconds earlier and I would've been the hero right?

Cam: Were you aware that JFK had scarlet fever in childhood?

Brennan: Hodgins informed me of that fact, yes.

Cam: Scarlet fever can cause osteomyelitis.

Brennan: It's very rare, Cam. It can happen in approximately one in a hundred cases. It's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy.

Cam: You're a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.

[...]

Booth: [offers Brennan his arm before crossing the street] Shall we?

Brennan: [smiling] We shall.

Booth: You know, you must think I'm crazy for being so happy that it wasn't JFK.

Brennan: I'm very impressed. You wanted the truth, even if it was going to hurt you.

Booth: I learned that from you.

Brennan: Really?

Booth: Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your brain over your gut.

Brennan: That's nice, but I prefer that you always go with your brain over your gut, because your gut cannot think.

Booth: Your brain can't digest a breakfast burrito. I'm just saying, to each their own!

Brennan: To each their own.

The Dentist in the Ditch [5.13]

Hodgins: The spider eggs were on the body before it was encased in the clay. The heat in the lab caused the eggs to hatch and when you shone your flashlight they headed for the light.

Vincent: Based on mandibular indentation, the victim is late-twenties, early-thirties.

Cam: Dr. Hodgins, I can still see one in his mouth.

Hodgins: Yep. These badboys are frontinella communis. They're non-poisonous.

Cam: Yeah, but still with those gross spider faces and legs, though.

[...]

Hodgins: Are you okay there, Dr. Saroyan?

Cam: I'm just itchy all over. I'm gonna go burn all of these clothes and maybe my hair.

Brennan: You think your brother's girlfriend is hinky? Is that slang for pretty or buxom?

Booth: No, it's just slang for iffy.

Brennan: Well, iffy is already slang. I don't see the need for slang for slang.

Angela: Four years ago Jared's girlfriend was a hooker?

Brennan: An escort. I believe in the hierarchy of prostitution, an escort ranks equal to high class call girl.

Angela: And now she teaches grade school?

Brennan: Mm-hmm. I don't see any other injuries to the bone that could be cause of death, that leads us back to the head trauma. Apparently the rule is, once a sex worker always a sex worker.

Angela: You know, it really would have been better if Booth never ran her record.

Brennan: He said it was my influence. That it was the rational thing to do.

Angela: No, sweetie, he's rationalizing. Which makes what he did irrational, because he's rationalizing that Jared cannot make rational decisions for himself. You do the same thing all the time. Maybe that's what he learned from you.

Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.

Brennan: Yes, but so are we all. Except for Angela.

Angela: Oh, right, and yet who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures?

Brennan: When Booth and I first met, I didn't believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was simply brain chemistry, but perhaps Booth is correct. Perhaps love comes first and then creates the reaction. I have no tangible proof, but I'm willing to accept Booth's premise.

The Devil in the Details [5.14]

Booth: Right now I'm more worried about a safe distance between you and me.

Brennan: Why?

Booth: Why? Because we're going to a church, and you tend to get blasphemous in churches.

Brennan: You're afraid that if God smites me with lightning you could get hit?

Booth: Yeah, I'm usually standing right beside you.

Brennan: The Greek god Zeus also used lightning to incinerate his enemies, although Zeus apparently had better aim than your god.

Booth: Exactly. Stuff like that. Just don't say stuff like that.

Hodgins: The accelerant was common motor oil, available at any gas station.

Cam: Well, at least it wasn't brimstone, available only from Hell.

Hodgins: Are you asking me to do an experiment?

Cam: With Arastoo.

Hodgins: Why are you saying his name like that?

Cam: Like what?

Hodgins: Arastooooo. You're chewing on his name.

Cam: Arastoo said that he looks at the devil every day.

Hodgins: Maybe he has low self-esteem.

Cam: Or — you know what they call us, right?

Hodgins: They, being?

Cam: Muslims. Some Muslims. The ones over there trying to kill us.

Hodgins: Yeah, they call us the great Satan. Oh.

Arastoo: [walks in] Look here, what I found. Radiating microfractures in the cartilage of the victim's vestigial tail.

Cam: Radiating microfractures plus a ruptured intestine?

Hodgins: What does that mean?

Cam: He was slammed into something.

Arastoo: Perhaps, in fact, he did wrestle with an archangel and lose. [pause] As it should be. The devil lost, as he always must. I will inform Dr. Brennan. [leaves the room]

Cam: The devil lost?

Hodgins: As he always must.

Cam: [out of Arastoo's earshot] What if Arastoo means us?

Hodgins: Arastoo is a very sweet, gentle guy, you know?

Cam: I know, but that doesn't mean that in his heart he looks down on us! Do you want to work with someone who thinks you're the great Satan?

Hodgins: No! I don't want to be the Great Satan. I don't even want to be a minor demon.

Dr. Copeland: I've listened to you take shots at my profession, and that's okay. I'm a big boy, a tolerant man, but I want you to think about something. I spend every working hour of every day trying to help people who are living in Hell. That's an honorable way to spend a life. Perhaps more honorable than figuring out what happened to dead people who are already beyond pain and suffering.

Brennan: Intentions, however misguided, do count. I understand that.

Dr. Copeland: I hope you won't think I'm too picky when I point out that that wasn't an actual apology. But perhaps it's the best you can manage.

Brennan: You have faith that you will retain your faith? Why?

Booth: Because, Bones. The sun will come up and tomorrow's a new day.

Brennan: I know that feeling.

Booth: Really?

Brennan: Mm-hmm.

Booth: You know what it feels like to get your faith back?

Brennan: When I see effects and I am unable to discern a cause, my faith in reason and consequences is shaken.

Booth: Then what happens?

Brennan: Two plus two equals four. I put sugar in my coffee and it tastes sweet. The sun comes up because the world turns. These things are beautiful to me. There are mysteries I will never understand, but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause. Even if I can't see it. I find that reassuring.

Booth: And life is good again.

Brennan: Life is very good.

Booth: Yes, it is.

The Bones on the Blue Line [5.15]

Hodgins: Page 187. [places Brennan's new book on the table] Mind reading it aloud?

Angela: Page 187. I am not reading the sparky bits to you! You get somebody else to do that, sicko.

Hodgins: Okay, fine. Read it to yourself, then. [watches as Angela reads] That's that thing that I do. Nobody does that thing. It's my thing that I do.

Angela: Right.

Hodgins: It's not a well known thing. It's, you know, my thing that I do.

Angela: Right. I remember. I was there.

Hodgins: You told Brennan about that thing I do!

Angela: It's a very good thing.

Hodgins: It's my thing! That I do! Did you tell her that it was my thing?

Angela: You mean did I give you credit?

Hodgins: Yes! Did you?

Angela: No.

Hodgins: Good, because I don't need her looking at me thinking about that thing I do.

Angela: Well that's good, then.

Hodgins: But now that thing I do is in print and every guy that reads that book is going to give it a shot. [sighs] Oh, well. You know I've got other things that I do. [Angela laughs] My advice: only sleep with guys that can't read, because otherwise you'll never be rid of me.

Booth: [notices Sweets looking distracted] Sweets?

Sweets: [snaps out of it] Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Booth: You sure you're ready to come back to work?

Sweets: Yeah, I'm fine.

Booth: That guy in the subway, one way to look at it is, um, that he died happy.

Sweets: [looks at Booth curiously] What?

Booth: You think about. Guy gets this great news. What does he do? He shares it with a stranger.

Sweets: You're gonna think I'm stupid for saying this but the whole thing, it felt like a message.

Booth: Right, a message. I believe in messages.

Sweets: Yeah, it was like a message. "Go ye forth and live life to the fullest". Something like that.

Booth: [smiles] Live life to its fullest. Maybe we should do that more often. Moment to moment, day to day.

Brennan: I believe my books are popular because they introduce the reader to the world of forensic anthropology. Why aren't you writing? You usually write down everything.

Riku Inagawa: Why did it take so long for Dr. Reichs to have sex with Agent Andy?

Brennan: For the same reason that she used stable isotopes to determine that the victim spent her childhood in east Timur. The oxygen isotopes we ingest through food and water are incorporated into the hydroxocarbonic appetite of bone. You should be writing this down.

Inagawa: Will she ever tell Andy about her affair with Ryan?

Brennan: That was inconsequential fluff, Miss Inagawa.

Inagawa: It's why they fight in chapter six.

Brennan: They identify the lotus tooth in chapter six.

Inagawa: That is when their passion is released. Page 187.

Brennan: Why are you only asking about things that mean nothing?

Inagawa: Those are the things that mean everything.

Daisy: Where are we going?

Angela: Cam asked me to get you out of the lab.

Daisy: Why?

Angela: Because you keep sighing and moaning.

Booth: I still can be surprised by people.

Brennan: Is that good or bad?

Booth: Bad, I think. I don't know.

Brennan: Well, if she's convicted, even with good behavior, she'll be in prison for the next fifteen years.

Booth: Yeah, but he said that they're soulmates and he'll wait for however long it takes for her to get out.

Brennan: Soulmates?

Booth: Soulmates. Yeah.

Brennan: The idea of soulmates actually originated with Plato.

Booth: Yeah, you mean the clay that kids play with?

Brennan: No! The anc-- aw. [laughs]

Booth: What?

Brennan: You're joking.

Booth: Me, joke? No. [smirks]

Brennan: No, the ancient Greek philosopher. His theory was that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs and two faces. Zeus was threatened by their power and split them all in half. Condemning us all to spend our lives trying to complete ourselves.

Booth: [smiles] I don't believe that's true.

Brennan: [laughs] I agree. It's ridiculous.

Booth: Right? [they smile]

The Parts in the Sum of the Whole [5.16]

Brennan: What did you think we were going to talk to him about?

Booth: The whole, uh, love thing?

Brennan: The love thing? Oh, his conclusion that we're in love? I don't care about that.

Sweets: What mistake?

Booth: Hint: it's not what you think.

Sweets: You disagree with my conclusion that the two of you are in love, and the sublimating energies of that connection are responsible for the energy, vigor, and rigor that you bring to your homicide investigations.

Booth: I just told you it's not what you think and you immediately say what you think.

Brennan: That's your interpretation. We recognize your right to interpret.

Sweets: You do?

Brennan: That's your right as a psychologist to get everything wrong.

[Flashback to Booth and Brennan's first case]

Booth: I'd ask you out if I could.

Brennan: Why can't you?

Booth: Well, FBI rules again. No fraternizing with other agents or consultants.

Brennan: That's too bad.

Booth: I'm glad you think so.

[Flashback to Booth and Brennan's first case]

Booth: Okay, excuse me, you know what, you really need to learn how to speak to human beings.

Brennan: I speak six languages .. two of which you've never even heard of.

Booth: You know what, you're a cold fish.

Brennan: You're a superstitious moron!

Booth: Get a soul!

Brennan: Get a brain!

Booth: I'm a gambler. [Brennan gives him a quizzical look] I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I wanna give this a shot.

Brennan: You mean us? [Booth nods] No, the FBI won't let us work together --

Booth: Don't do that, that is no reason -- [he kisses her, but after a moment she pushes him away]

Brennan: [close to tears] No! No!

Booth: [desperately] Why? Why?

Brennan: You -- you thought you were protecting me, but you're the one who needs protecting.

Booth: Protecting? From what?

Brennan: From me. I -- I don't have your kind of open heart.

Booth: Just -- just give it a chance, that's all I'm asking!

Brennan: No, you said it yourself: the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

Booth: Well, then let's go for a different outcome, here! All right, let's just hear me out, right? You know when you talk to older couples who, you know, have been in love for thirty or forty or fifty years, all right? It's always the guy who says, "I knew." I knew, right from the beginning.

Brennan: Your evidence is anecdotal.

Booth: I'm that guy. Bones, I'm that guy! I know.

Brennan: [crying] I -- I am not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change! I don't know how. I don't know how. [Booth looks crushed] Please don't look so sad.

Booth: All right, okay. [sighs, then hangs his head.] You're right. You're right.

Brennan: Can we still work together?

Booth: [Booth hesitates, Brennan gives him a pleading look] Yeah. [wipes away a tear]

Brennan: Thank you.

Booth: But I gotta move on. You know, I gotta find someone who's -- who's gonna love me in -- in thirty years, or forty or fifty.

Brennan: I know.

The Death of the Queen Bee [5.17]

Booth: I can't believe you grew up in this area...

Brennan: Yes, I am an alumna of Burtonsville High.

Booth: Ever bring a boy out here and, uh-

Brennan: And what, touch his genitalia? No.

Booth: Whoa! 'Kay, I was thinking that, maybe, just a little smooching...

Brennan: I used to come here to find animals to dissect; I didn't have a boyfriend.

Booth: Well, maybe because you were cutting up little woodland creatures, maybe?

Brennan: Becky, right? I'm Temperance.

Sheriff Conway: Have I arrested you before, hon?

Brennan: No, you were my lab partner in Chemistry at Burtonsville High.

Sheriff Conway: Are you absolutely sure? I have an excellent memory.

Brennan: Positive. Though you are thinner now, which is better for you cardiovascular system. In High School, you were quite overweight, hence the derision from the other students.

Sheriff Conway: Yeah, I remember you now; the Creepy Girl.

Sweets: Now, this first victim, Sarah Tidwiller, was a member of the class of '94?

Booth: And the second victim was killed just before the reunion of the same class, so it doesn't sound like a coincidence to me. The cops here agreed to keep everything quiet until we ID the victim and catalogue the evidence.

Sweets: And this, uh, Ray Buxley, was a prime suspect in '94?

Booth: Yeah, he was the High School Custodian, but they didn't have enough to hold him.

Sweets: [reading file] Lives alone, low-status job, obsession with gruesome crime stories, surrounded by teenage girls - Very creepy. It's like, Freddy creepy....

Angela: Is there a problem?

Brennan: This fracture was made by a blunt object, striking her face at an almost 90-degree angle.

Wendell: That's in my note, yes. And the remodelling gave us an approximate age - about 30...

Brennan: 33. She was 33.

Angela: Well, how do you know that?

Brennan: Because I'm the one who broke her jaw... with a tennis racket. This is one of my classmates... Evelyn Simms.

Booth: Bones, you're tearing up.

Brennan: This is the prom I never got to go to...

The Predator in the Pool [5.18]

Catherine: A seasoned law enforcement agent who still has empathy for victim. I'm glad to know you're out there.

Booth: At your service.

Brennan: Where's the nearest place a tiger shark, a hammmerhead and a red snapper could co-exist?

Andrew Hacker: How about the aquarium? [Brennan and Catherine look at him] [jokingly] Hey you don't get to be the Deputy Director of the FBI by just dressing well and kissing ass. [chuckles] OK, yeah, that's most of it but I'm probably right about the aquarium.

Brennan: What's wrong with these angelfish?

Marilyn Stoddard: They've been listless the past few days. Most likely due to something they ingested.

Booth: Or someone.

Brennan: We should take these fish back to the lab.

Stoddard: No, you can't! These are a gift from Morocco!

Brennan: They need to be tested for trace evidence in a murder investigation.

Booth: We'll get them back to you. Don't worry.

Brennan: I may or may not get them back to you.

Booth: [aside to Sweets] Just tell me if any of these kids is a killer.

Sweets: Well, it's pretty tough to tell your average nine-year-old from your average psychopath.

Booth: Don't say that, all right? I have a kid nearly that age.

Sweets: Children are still forming their sense of ethics at this age. Like I said, they're basically sociopaths.

[Booth and Hacker are discussing the suspect, a Russian mobster known as "Vladov the Impaler"]

Booth: Well, I'm not afraid to bring this guy in.

Hacker: You should be. You value your pension, you should be.

Booth: Ok, well, I'm not, even when you sound like Yoda.

Hacker: You want me with you when you talk to him?

Booth: Why?

Hacker: Vladov the Impaler? The nickname is self-explanatory.

Booth: Nah, I can handle it.

Hacker: Good. But I truly hope that you don't end up getting eaten by sharks because your successes have done wonders for my career.

The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle [5.19]

Cam: Check this out. [Cam, Booth and Brennan look into an industrial size washer at human remains] Good luck on the ID. Too bad they didn't do him on the delicate cycle, huh?

Booth: No. No. Uh, let's -- you think, we can go twenty minutes on this case without talking about testicles?

Sweets: Please.

Brennan: Okay.

Booth: Great.

Brennan: Booth has made a social contract with a marine biologist.

Sweets: Sorry?

Booth: [laughing] It's amazing that you go from injured testicles to the woman I'm dating. [turning to Sweets] And you, you're supposed to say, "Oh, that's interesting," in a very annoying way.

Brennan: It was a logical transition.

Sweets: But it is very interesting.

Brennan: Booth and I are friends. Catherine is an intelligent, attractive woman, and I'm intrigued by their developing relationship.

Booth: That's nice. I think.

Sweets: Yeah. I think it is nice.

Booth: Thank you, Bones.

Sweets: Wow. You two seem to be handling dating very well. I'm impressed.

Brennan: Well, you've known me for two years, Sweets. You should expect to be impressed by me.

Brennan: Booth seems to like Catherine, don't you think?

Cam: I do. I'm glad. It's been a long time since he dated anyone.

Brennan: I know. It's important for Booth to share his life. I prefer being alone.

Cam: But you're seeing Hacker.

Brennan: Yes, I like him. But not like Booth. I mean, not like Booth wants to like someone.

Cam: All organisms evolve and develop along patterns only recognized in retrospect. Your life doesn't exist outside the laws of nature.

Brennan: Then in ignorance, I await my own surprise. Although the odds of it to involving a commitment to another person are remote.

Booth: We have some unanswered questions about Kurt Cobain's death and thought maybe you can give us some insight.

Bebe: [jumps up in excitement] Seriously?

[Booth grins and takes out his handcuffs]

Brennan: I believe he was being ironic but if you do have information about this Cobain person I'm sure the FBI would appreciate that too.

Booth: [stares at Brennan] Thanks Bones.

Brennan: Our partnership is so important to me. You know that, right?

Booth: Sure. Yeah. Die for your partner. That's the way I look at it.

The Witch in the Wardrobe [5.20]

Clark: Dr. Brennan wants me to identify the best solvent to remove polystyrene from the bones. So I put myself in the mindset of Dr. Hodgins and came up with this experiment.

Cam: I have a new appreciation for Dr. Hodgins.

Sweets: So, I've been thinking about dead cats.

Brennan: That ... doesn't seem like a good use of your time.

Angela: [while Hodgins is giving her a massage] Oh, thank you God! Oh!

Hodgins: God is a little formal. Hodgins is fine.

Booth: [upon seeing a naked ritual] Okay, why is it when things like this happen, it always happen to people you don't want to see naked?

Clark: Those naked ladies were trippin'.

The Boy with the Answer [5.21]

Booth: You okay?

Caroline: Oh, you mean because this case is a career killer? I'm cute, I can always find a job.

Caroline: So, how's your girlfriend holding up?

Booth: She's fine. She's not my girlfriend.

Caroline: Oh! So those looks between you...

Booth: Nothing.

Caroline: Right. Hope you're more believable on the stand.

[regarding Max trying to kill Heather Taffet]

Max: I was doing it for you.

Brennan: No, I don't want you to kill people for me. Just buy me a sweater like a regular dad.

Brennan: I'm tired of... all of it. I'm tired of dealing with murderers and victims and sadness and pain.

Booth: Bones, it's what we do, all right? We catch the bad people, make the world a better place.

Brennan: No Booth. That's what you do. And somehow I got caught up in it.

Brennan: I have the sense that everything's changing, Booth.

Booth: Not everything. Look, we're still partners, right? And Taffet, she's put away. I mean, you're feeling good about that, right?

Brennan: You almost died, Booth. That could happen again. What if next time I can't get to you?

Booth: It's not going to happen again.

Brennan: I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality.

Booth: You know what? Maybe you just need to take some time off. Go to a beach. Lay in the sun.

Brennan: I might need more than a little time.

Booth: [shakes his head] Don't make any decisions about your future right now.

Brennan: I'm just saying --

Booth: You know when a dentist gives you anesthetic and tells you not to operate any heavy machinery or make any important decisions within twenty-four hours? All right, this case was bigger than a root canal. Come on, let's just go back inside and have one more drink. Come on, just one. [takes her hand and tries to pull her inside]

Brennan: No, I'm tired, Booth. I'm going to go home. [hails a cab]

Booth: All right. Come on, let's get you in the cab. I know, it's been a long long day. [Brennan gets in the cab] All right? Hey, I'll see you tomorrow, right?

[The cab pulls away from the curb, Brennan looks over her shoulder at Booth as she rides away]

The Beginning in the End [5.22]

Brennan: The term garbage is relative. The only intrinsic value things have is what we give them. It seems odd now, but in Holland tulip bulbs were once as valuable as houses. Maybe we all overvalue things that are essentially worthless.

Angela: Well that was more than a comment on this case. What's going on, Brennan?

Brennan: What separates what I do here from what this man did?

Angela: So, going to Malulu is worth more?

Brennan: Maluku. Yes. The murders will never stop, but this find has real finite value. I'd be able to answer questions about our origin! Evolutionary tract! It has implications for history, science!

Angela: Listen, you're allowed to make life changes without picking a fight with your old life.

Brennan: But I need a break from that life. I'm worried all the time. Worried that Booth might get hurt on a case and I couldn't prevent it. Worried about what our partnership means.

Angela: So you want to get away from Booth?

Brennan: No, it's just -- I just need some perspective so that I can view my life with some objectivity.

Angela: Have you talked to him about it?

Brennan: The army wants Booth to go to Afghanistan to train soldiers in the apprehension of terrorists.

Angela: Is... is he going to go?

Brennan: Even though he said that he wasn't, it felt like he wanted to. Perhaps it's all for the best.

Angela: [scoffs] You two at opposite ends of the world? I don't think so.

Booth: Where did you learn how to throw a fast ball like that, huh? You were amazing.

Parker: You taught me.

Booth: No! No. Hey, I'm not that good. Right? Yeah.

Parker: Dad?

Booth: Yeah?

Parker: Are you going back to be a soldier?

Booth: Uh, why are you asking me that?

Parker: Mom said the Army called our house, looking for you.

Booth: I'm not in the Army anymore, Bub. I'm out, okay? I made a decision to stay with the FBI to be with you all the time.

Parker: So... it's my fault?

Booth: What's your fault?

Parker: It's my fault people will die?

Booth: No. That's-that's not what I meant.

Parker: I want you to save lives.

Booth: Yeah, well I do that here.

Parker: No, here you catch people that kill other people. There you would make it so people won't die. Isn't that better?

Booth: It was just a phone call, buddy. That's all. It's over with, alright? I've got an even better idea. What do you say we go get one of those huge, giant, root beer floats that you love so much, huh?

Parker: Sure.

Booth: Yeah, alright. That's my kid.

Daisy: So you're coming?

Brennan: Agent Booth and I are partners, I have to discuss it with him first.

Daisy: He's probably gonna go be a big hero in Afghanistan.

Brennan: He says he doesn't wanna go.

Daisy: Lance said that Booth has the psyche of a true warrior, that it's a miracle he hasn’t gone back long before this. Maybe you’re holding him back the same way he’s holding you back... I should not have said that... but sometimes my mouth just has a mouth of its own.

Booth: I don't do really good with change, I guess.

Brennan: Well, you're better than I am

Booth: The pyramids are better at change than you are. ...It's a joke. Hey, I was being affectionate.

Brennan: Oh. [Pause] Will you go back to the army?

Booth: It's what best for me right now.

Brennan: I'll only be gone for a year.

Booth: Me too. So, hey, what’s a year?

Brennan: It’s the time it takes the Earth to make a full revolution around the sun.

Booth: In the scheme of things. You know, the grand scheme. I’m just saying a year, you know, it’s not too bad.

Brennan: Right.

Booth: Right?

Brennan: We can come back, pick up where we left off. Nothing really has to change

Booth: No, things have to change. You know what? Hey, I taught you about eye contact, you taught me about evolution. So... here’s to change.

Brennan: To change.

Caroline: If it's gonna be your last case together, then do it properly.

Brennan: It's not our last case.

Booth: We'll be back in a year.

Caroline: Tight as a drum, that's what I want. And trust me, the way you two are running from each other, you'd better be damn sure of these little trips you're taking.