to any new people on here PLEASE for the love of god at least put on an icon or human-sounding bio before following anyone cause now i think half the people i blocked are fucking real

god yeah sorry i probably should have clarified. for the new people: there’s been an influx of bots recently appearing alongside the growing userbase, so a lot of you might be hardblocked by someone if you follow them with a completely empty blog because they assumed there’s not a real person behind your account

WEAK. JEANS. I died a little inside lmao

no other warning like this is on any of the other products on the site.

Cops are trained to be bad. Anyone who insists on being good is not welcome.

joining tumblr for the first time now is like in movies when the city kid goes to the small small small town and someone there is like “we ain’t got nona that weefee or whatever but we’s got Jimbo who yells the news and that’s good enough” and points to Jimbo who is currently asleep on his rocker

Except for us it’s like “we ain’t got no al-go-rithm but we do have haiku-bot and that one destiel screengrab that tells us the news and that’s good enough”

Knives! Get your Knives here for no particular reason!

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Special discount if your name is Brutus for no reason in particular!

You know what? Fuck you.

*unshrinkies your dinks*

no..... my dinks....

*unskrinkies you*

I love Josh’s anti-classism so much. I grew up in a single parent household that didn’t have time/the ability to cook. I taught myself as an adult and ended up loving it. I cook with this stuff a lot. Shit, the RealLemon juice ends up in a lot of my cocktails. Sure, I like fancy ingredients when I can afford them and I have things I get picky about using - but I have bad hands, mincing garlic is painful as fuck. There’s a lot to be said for knowing how to work with what you have. Don’t shame people for trying, don’t shame people for feeding their families things that they enjoy.

if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook

i had to draw her she's so nostalgic

ms paint study from 2021

Yeah, I guess I do. But like, what even is a star beam, you know? Now, a lead pipe to the shins? That's just reliable, baby.

Ollie loves to have the bases of his ears massaged with my thumbs and whenever I do it for him his eyes close and pushes so hard into it that he has to brace with his legs to avoid falling over and he purrs, and every time I do it I think about how he can’t do that for himself on his own, and how wonderful and strange it is that our two species happened to evolve in a way that allowed a bread loaf-sized obligate carnivore capable of receiving the most satisfying ear rub imaginable, but only from a giant omnivorous ape

imagine if the most pleasurable deep-tissue back massage on earth could only be performed by bigfoot

Doodled my outfit today

Okay but this fit is absolute fire, looks cozy af and all the colors compliment each other so well 😍

Hehe thank you :D

I took a 6yo boy to his placement and as soon as I got him situated in the back he saw my SpongeBob driver’s license air freshener hanging on my rearview mirror. He asked if that’s really SpongeBob’s driver’s license and I said yeah it’s real. Then he asked where I got it if SpongeBob’s underwater so I told him I wore a helmet like Sandy and stole it from SpongeBob when he slept, and without missing a beat he goes “That’s identity fraud”

He's right