thank fuck it was a spider imagine if it was like a radioactive butterfly. what do you even do with that

you'd be able to fly if it was a radioactive butterfly ya goof. and also float majestically

instead of fighting crime with my powers id just be called homophobic slurs

kraven the hunter? i hardly kraven the know 'er!

i hate you because this is in my opinion the funniest thing ive posted so far

i actually have super hearing too, i can hear technology make beeping noises from rooms away and it makes me overstimulated

i think i have super autism

trans rights btw

mysterio is such a faggot

you cant be talking like that spider baby

have you seen him hes like if a supervillain fell into a vat of radioactive theatre kids

i feel bad every time i fight kingpin. most of my other villains have superpowers and stuff but fisk is just some guy with a thyroid problem

ive read your fanfictions by the way

youre all freaks

i spend my days wrestling with and fighting other men, getting sweaty and hot in a skintight spider themed costume. i didnt say i wasn't a freak too

just had a fight with the lizard

mightve been just a normal alligator honestly

it was a komodo dragon at least

there was a skink in my apartment

im gonna be busy so the teenage mutant ninja turtles are looking after new york tonight

your MOTHER. GET FUCKING SPIDERMAN'D!!!!!

you think i can trust fucking daredevil hes fucking blind

property is theft - a poem by spiderman

property is theft and landlords are scum, 

baby spiders hatch every time i cum,

capitalism doesnt work, its supporters are liars,

i wake up from wet dreams covered in spiders.

just wanted to make it stream of consciousness, just really like all the thoughts that plague me most often

i know im sorry i hate capitalism too

for the last fucking time i dont fucking "cum webs" im fucking sick of it youre all fucking perverts. i cum millions of spider eggs

keep your mouth away from my spider dick babies

id like to finally put the debate to rest and say officially, ONCE AND FOR ALL, there is no hyphen in spiderman. its one word, guys. one word

"oh spiderman wheres the hyphen" "oh i cant believe you forgot the hyphen" "hyphen hyphen hyphen hyphen" SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP I CANT STAND IT!!!! this was literally the first thing i posted on this blog there is no hyphen maybe in some other universes theres a hyphen but in my universe THERES NO HYPHEN

sorry. i lost control there and im sorry for lashing out. however if one more person asks me about the hyphen ill beat the shit out of you spiderman style

thats acceptable but also do you not have an i key

this might be my toughest foe yet

arent you meant to be in jail??

that was a clever reference and you guys know it

its bruno mars. bruno mars has a song called talking to the moon its a reference

you know what fuck all of you im fucking spiderman i dont need to explain myself to you im fucking spiderman. i can shoot webs and shit fuck you guys

do you think i have money

AITA? i (SM, ambiguous) got into a fight with my partner (Alien, unknown) due to its habit of forcing me to eat people (M, 34) (F, 22) (M, 12) for it to sustain itself.