A guide to the memes, terms and references used frequently by Mile High Hockey authors and members.
Over the years, the writers and users of MHH have come up with a cornucopia of various memes, inside jokes, jargon and player nicknames. This glossary is an attempt to help new members get comfortable quickly and to help old users remember old stuff we don't talk about anymore.
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2nd 2nd: The Avs hit a rough spot, they played well enough in the first two periods and then deteriorated in the third. So we started calling it the 2nd 2nd in hopes that they would play like it was still the second period.
Adrian Dater: The long-time Avalanche beat writer for the Denver Post. By most accounts a nice guy, Dater has been the primary source of Avalanche-related traditional journalism for years. MHH links to his articles and blog posts constantly, and he wrote a pretty good book about the old Avalanche/Red Wings rivalry. There are also rumors that some kind of love triangle has developed involving Dater with MHH head writer David Driscoll-Carignan and blogger/member Jibblescribbits. Details are sketchy but rumors abound.
Altidudes/Altiboobs: The Altitude Network game announcers Mike Haynes and Peter McNab, depending on how good or bad their commentary is during any given game. And just in case you weren't aware, former Bruin McNab once climbed into the stands and beat a fan with his own shoe.
Arby's: There was a nasty incident during the first game of the Avs-Sharks series in 2010. I don't want to mention any names, but it involves one of the MHH writers. Okay, it was Mike. Rumor has it, Mike understandably threw a fit when an Arby's Sandwich Specialist failed to include Arby's Sauce with his order. And, really, can you blame him? That shit is pretty much inedible without the sauce. Anyway, Mike was so thrown by this atrocity that he skipped the game that night and missed the Avs surprising win. The Avs ended up losing the series, and we blame it all on Mike for not repeating his sandwich punching routine for good luck.
Arnason: Pictures of former Avalanche center Tyler Arnason are sometimes used to punctuate points in the threads or otherwise provide comic relief. This photo, perfectly capturing the total lack of heart or emotion displayed by Arnason on the ice, appears most often. Arnason has been an MHH whipping boy since the 2008-09 season, when his complete void of talent or desire to win became unavoidably apparent. He now plays for Dynamo Riga in the Russian KHL, and updates on his progress in the Motherland appear frequently, usually labeled under his poorly-translated alter-egos "Taylor," "Tayler," and "Trailor."
A Whole Bunch of Guys: In a particularly angry game the Avalanche had a number of guys go into the penalty box at one time, the play by play announcer didn't know who it was so he simply said " a whole bunch of guys". If you missed the game, trust me, it was a funny moment.
Because 20 is Different than 30: McNabb let this gem out during a game and we have run with it.
Bertuzzi: Poop, feces, shit.
Concussions: The Avalanche had an incredible number of players out due to concussions, any time another player became injured it was known as a concussion of X injury, example a hand concussion, a lower body concussion.
Excluding Zetterberg: The nickname given to Red Wings blog Abel to Yzerman (no link on purpose) by MHH user Bob in Boulder, ridiculing the exclusion of Henrik Zetterberg from the alphabetical pantheon of Detroit stars supposedly honored by the blog's name. Don't waste your time visiting that site, by the way.
Datsyuk Did It First: After a beauty of a goal by Matt Duchene, a poster on Puck Daddy commented that Datsyuk did it first, it made us laugh and we enjoy mocking people, so it has stuck.
Fixed: A practice fairly common across many blogs and message boards, it is the practice of humorously editing a previous quote. A word or phrase from the quote is struck out and replaced with a new word or phrase in bold type. The second commenter then states "Fixed." For example:
Original comment:
At least the Avs will have depth at D this season.
"Fixed" comment:
At least the Avs will have
depthoverpriced underperforming bodies by the truckload at D this season.Fixed.
Guinea Pig: The unofficial mascot of MHH for the last half of the 2011 season.
"How do you like them apples, Gilmour?": Self-explanatory if you watch this video. Originally screamed by Mike Haynes, long-time Avalanche play-by-play announcer for the Altitude radio/television network.
Jibbled: A reply has been "Jibbled" when it is mistakenly made to the main blog post instead of a user comment below that post. This fairly common fail is named in honor of MHH user Jibblescribbits because he does it constantly. Variations exist, including "Jibblekopfed," referring to user Hopfenkopf, who does it almost as frequently as Jibblescribbits, and, ironically, often when replying to Jibblescribbits.
Jimmy Howard: We love to poke fun at Red Wing fans. Really. We first started sarcastically calling Jimmy Howard a shoo-in for the Calder Trophy towards the end of the 2009-2010 season, mostly to chide his supporters. We then expanded our scope a bit, naming Howard a front runner for ALL the NHL awards plus things like the Nobel Peace Prize. He. Is. Just. That. Good.
King of the World/Game Thread Leader: The title bestowed upon the MHH member who posted the most comments during a game thread back when those stats were still counted. The crown was most frequently worn by three prolific commenters: Savage33, SlamDunkTheFunk, and Americanario.
Lawinengefahr- Means the scoring machine, beware of the Avalanche. It started in November 2010 with RandyTime, and his GDT pic submission.
Les Ailes: Short for "Les Ailes de Rouges", the phrase means Red Wings in French. In the words of MHH user Jibblescribbits, who coined the term, "Double the arrogance of Montreal Canadiens fans… half the Cups." Other derogatory terms for the Red Wings include: Detoilet, EmptyTown, Red Wangs, and various others.
Mini Golf: A clever euphemism for sex. As in, "I won't be in the live thread tonight, as I'm hoping to engage in a few rounds of mini-golf with the significant other" or, "Gee, I spend all my free time blogging from this computer in my mother's basement...I wonder how come I'm writing about mini-golf all the time instead of actually playing it?"
Mission 16W: The official name given to the 2001 Avalanche playoff run by the players themselves. Ray Bourque, chasing the first and only Cup of his career, encouraged his teammates to focus only on winning the sixteen games necessary to become champions. They did, and the rest is history.
Must-Win: During the early games of the 2007-08 season, the term "must-win" was used a bit too often by founder Joe Dunman during his preview threads. Eventually realizing the silliness of calling the 17th game of the season a "must-win game," Joe changed the tagline of the site to "Mile High Hockey: A Must-Win Blog." It remained that way for several months. MHH users, and especially writer David Driscoll-Carignan, continue to make fun of Joe to this day for his overuse of the phrase, and rightly so.
Nicknames: See separate Player Nickname Page.
Power Play Kittens: During the 2007-08 season, the Avalanche power play under former coach Joel Quenneville was extremely bad. In fact, it was so bad that it killed kittens. Game recaps would feature a tally of the number of kittens killed (failed power plays) during each game, complete with a clever Q-shaped sign of a kitten being crossed out. Now defunct, this meme was retired upon Quenneville's departure during the summer of 2008.
Sunny Side McNabb: Peter McNabb an announcer for Altitude has a sunny disposition and likes to point out all the excellent things that the Avalanche do, even if they aren't doing it at that time.
Ti4T: "Tanking It For Tavares" became the unofficial slogan of the 2008-09 season, as the wheels came off the Avalanche bus and they became one of the worst teams in the NHL. Since John Tavares was the top-rated player for the 2009 draft, MHH users concluded that the Avs were purposely sucking in an effort to pick him or a similarly-ranked prospect. Variations included "Ti4H" (tanking it for Victor Hedman) and "Ti4D" (tanking it for Matt Duchene). The Avs ultimately finished as the third worst team in the league and also got the third pick in the draft, choosing Duchene. Tavares was chosen first overall by the Islanders.
Top 19 List: See the MHH front page for a list of the Top 19 Avs of All Time. It's an awesome list, but is mostly notable for the amount of time it took Joe to finish it. Since we love nothing more than finding a joke that we can ride into the ground here at MHH, we still make frequent references to said list.
Unipron: The current RBK version of the Avalanche jersey. The decorative piping that runs from the shoulder, inside the arm, down the sides of the jerseys makes them look like aprons, therefore, uniform + apron = "unipron." An excellent visual diagram can be found in the comments to this post.
Young Guns: In a post about the Avs' young stars, Paul's Coffey came up with a cute little photoshop. It may not have been the most original idea ever and the omission of Chris Goddamn Stewart raised a few eyebrows, but it was an instant hit among the Mile High shut-ins. A couple days later, MHH member xskatebakerrx printed out a poster-sized version (now with more Chris Stewart) and brought it to the game. Her pretty mug (and Bob in Boulder's sweatshirt) was captured on TV and Matt Duchene reportedly used the photoshop as his facebook profile pic for a while.