601 posts tagged with marriage.
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Love in a time of Roe v. Wade
Jeanne Safer and Richard Brookhiser have been deeply in love for almost 40 years while being passionately committed to opposite sides of the abortion debate. [SLSlate]
They charged it to Univision because @#$% Univision
My mission to ruin a $250 Wagyu steak nearly destroyed my family --
Over the course of three days, I prepared this steak five different ways and, in the process, I developed a relationship with the steak. It became my secret lover. It even caused legitimate tension between my wife and me. Drew Magary for The Takeout
Hopeful Summer - Love Songs Edition
Hi everyone! It's Isaac. You may remember me. I got engaged to my fiancée, Amy, a few months ago. It looked a little bit like this. That was a pretty spectacular moment in my life. And, so, I've been thinking about how all of that came to be. And I got a little bit inspired to make another video that might honor the relationships that made my life possible and what might come for Amy and I in the future. So I hope you enjoy it.[more inside]
My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me
"My wife said you may want to marry me. A little over a year ago, my wife, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, published a Modern Love essay called “You May Want to Marry My Husband.” At 51, Amy was dying from ovarian cancer. She wrote her essay in the form of a personal ad. It was more like a love letter to me. Those words would be the final ones Amy published. She died 10 days later." (previously)
Two Babies and a Bride
ULC-ordained mother-to-be performs maternity ward ceremony from her hospital bed. Adorable photos of both babies included within.
Delaware Bans Child Marriage
On Wednesday, Delaware became the first
U.S. state to totally ban people from marrying where one (or both) are under the age of 18. There are two reasons usually cited for forcing a child into marriage: if someone is pregnant, or religious reasons. But no major religion promotes child marriage. And in some states, there is no minimum age to marriage. Wedlocked is a Teen Vogue series about child marriage in the United States that examines the history of the practice and its modern realities. Also see: PBS Frontline: Child Marriage in America [more inside]
Too many men
Men outnumber women by 70 million in China and India. The consequences of having too many men, now coming of age, are far-reaching: Beyond an epidemic of loneliness, the imbalance distorts labor markets, drives up savings rates in China and drives down consumption, artificially inflates certain property values, and parallels increases in violent crime, trafficking or prostitution in a growing number of locations. [more inside]
Against Marriage
Marriage is what happens when the state gets involved in endorsing and regulating personal relationships. It's a bad idea.
Biggest Family Tree Ever
Because I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets...
In 1889, Tit-Bits magazine offered prizes to single, female readers who sent in the best answers to the question: ‘Why Am I A Spinster?’ Here are some highlights... [sl twitter thread] [more inside]
Love the second time around
He woke her in the middle of the night.
"Will you marry me," he asked.
"Of course I will, darling," she replied, a bit saddened.
Truth was, Michael and Linda Joyce had been married for 34 years, but Michael is battling Alzheimer's and he'd forgotten. [more inside]
"Will you marry me," he asked.
"Of course I will, darling," she replied, a bit saddened.
Truth was, Michael and Linda Joyce had been married for 34 years, but Michael is battling Alzheimer's and he'd forgotten. [more inside]
To live with thee and be thy love
" 'Love = Destroy life of many people who belong to you,' Dawinder texted me one evening. Later, another message came in: 'What is the point of any of this?' " Writing for Harper's, Mansi Choksi explores what's at stake when a northern Indian couple marries for love - which is permitted by law but not by tradition. Social consequences can be severe. Honor killings, for instance, go virtually ignored by the federal government, in part because politicians are hesitant to anger khaps, local councils of unelected elders who enforce traditional rules of the caste system. [more inside]
Marriage equality law passes Australia's parliament in landslide vote
Australia’s parliament has legislated for marriage equality, passing a bill almost unanimously to allow two people, regardless of sex, to marry. [more inside]
G-Day
The ABS will be announcing the results of Australia's same-sex marriage plebiscite in just under eight hours. After a long fought campaign which has seen some of the worst of Australia's homophobia given license to speak up, the same-sex marriage plebiscite is coming to a head. If polling is any indication, with 89 percent turnout, the yes vote looks to be romping home with 63% polling yes.
...filling the hollows...
They survived six hours in a pool as their neighborhood burned
"Jan Pascoe and her husband, John, were trapped. The world was on fire, and Jan was hyperventilating from fear. Then they remembered their neighbors’ pool."
Random Ties that Bind
Match.com went live in 1995. A new wave of dating websites, such as OKCupid, emerged in the early 2000s. And the 2012 arrival of Tinder changed dating even further. Today, more than one-third of marriages start online. Clearly, these sites have had a huge impact on dating behavior. But now the first evidence is emerging that their effect is much more profound.
Online dating may be enhancing racial integration and building stronger marriages. MIT Technology Review writes about a recent study.
Online dating may be enhancing racial integration and building stronger marriages. MIT Technology Review writes about a recent study.
Edith Windsor, 1929-2017
Edith Windsor, the gay-rights activist whose landmark Supreme Court case struck down the Defense of Marriage Act in 2013, has died. Death is sad, but this sentence, near the top of the Time obituary, made me happy: Her wife, Judith Kasen-Windsor, confirmed the death but did not specify a cause.
A thread full of surprisingly interesting and varied love stories.
A question posed to the married men of Reddit: what moment with your future wife made you think "Yup, I'm asking this girl to marry me."? (SLReddit) Although the one-sidedness of the question is not ideal (how about "married women, when did you know you wanted to marry your husband"), there are some great stories in here, from the touching to the silly. [more inside]
Loving, 50 Years Later
This week marks the 50th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the landmark Supreme Court decision that invalidated state laws restricting interracial marriage. Recently, we asked readers to share their experiences about being in a mixed-race relationship. We received more than 2,000 stories in just a few days. Some wrote about the resistance they faced from family and society, while others celebrated the particular richness of their lives. Here are some of those stories.
Plantation Mystique
The American landscape is dotted with places that witnessed enormous tragedies, and much like Flossenbürg they have now been absorbed into the everyday landscape. Unlike Flossenbürg, though, many of these American sites clumsily negotiate their dark heritage or simply ignore it in favor of aesthetically pleasant contemporary landscapes.The Aesthetics of Bliss and Trauma in Plantation Weddings: archaeologist Paul Mullins continues his series on "dark tourism".
Loving
The Loving Project talks with interracial couples about their experiences with race and being together.
We are the Fifteen Percent, inspired by the Cheerios ad, [previously] publishes user-submitted photos of interracial families on its tumblr. [more inside]
You May Want to Marry My Husband
"I have never been on Tinder, Bumble or eHarmony, but I’m going to create a general profile for Jason right here, based on my experience of coexisting in the same house with him for, like, 9,490 days." (SL NYT Modern Love)
"I wondered if that was the reason."
The Politics of Dancing
The economics of dining as a couple - "I am eternally astonished to find not only that many couples I know failed to discuss this key area before they marched up to the altar, but also that many of them still have not developed a joint dining strategy even after 10 or 20 years together. This is madness." Megan McArdle blends economics and marriage therapy.
The women in my family had to be good with money
"I was twelve, in that liminal state between childhood and womanhood, still playing with dolls but also shopping for training bras. Eager to soak up lessons about what it meant to be a woman, I watched, and learned, never once questioning why a woman who had a job had to hide money from her husband."
(Previously somewhat related on mefi: The Fuck Off Fund.)
The Tanzanian wives
In the Mara region of northern Tanzania, Abigail Haworth discovers an empowering tribal tradition undergoing a modern revival
I have also been corresponding with what I think is a robot at Hotmail.
The Emails of Natalie Portman and Jonathan Safran Foer by Jonathan Safran Foer [The New York Times] For over a decade, the Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman and the author Jonathan Safran Foer have amassed countless email exchanges about family, creativity and angry koalas — until earlier this year, when their epistolary archive mysteriously disappeared. On the eve of her ambitious directorial debut, the old friends start anew, reconnecting online to reflect on how the times have changed, and how they have changed over time.
I'm Just A Person
A couple of days later, I stood in front of a mirror and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. When I looked down, what I saw turned out to be just a flat chest with fresh scars on their way to looking healed. My stitches had dissolved. I took my shirt off and stared at myself, thinking, “Lake was right, I can do this.” - Tig Notaro on luck, love, family, friends, fame, stand up, her new book, and life after breasts
Richard and Anthony
In April of 1975, Richard Adams and Anthony Sullivan sought a green card for Mr. Sullivan, as Mr. Adams' husband. 41 years later, "the green card, granting Anthony permanent resident status in the United States, was issued on the 41st anniversary of his Boulder, Colorado marriage to Richard — a same-sex marriage that remained in the record and which was never invalidated by Colorado officials. "
The good news is that it doesn’t matter
[A] hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating.
Alain de Botton explains why you will marry the wrong person.
When to stop dating and settle down, according to math
Optimal stopping is a math theory that can be used to solve real world decision problems. In the real world, it is often applied to help decide when to stop dating and get married.
Charles Darwin’s List of the Pros and Cons of Marriage
You savor the repetitive, deliciously mundane rhythms of survival
What Romance Really Means After 10 Years of Marriage "You are both screwed, everything will be exactly this unexciting until one of you dies, and it's the absolute greatest anyway."
AIM love, IRL
"I changed the quotes in my AOL Instant Messenger profile almost daily, and fretted over the right combinations of font and color to make my IM voice look as bright and edgy as I wanted to be in real life. I started conversations with acquaintances who made me feel shy in person. I imagined I had inner beauty and wit, and that in chatrooms and AIM was where I could shine until that outer beauty showed up. And slowly, the IRL me started to become more like the me I allowed myself to be online... Matt and I built our relationship over AIM. We used AIM because it was our most practical option; like many teenagers in the year 2001, we didn't have cell phones. We did have computers in our respective bedrooms, though, and parents who weren't expecting phone calls after dinner hours."
It was never about the glass
(non)Marriage Equality
Couple to begin court fight against ban on heterosexual civil partnerships Rebecca Steinfeld and Charles Keidan, who describe themselves as feminists and reject marriage as a “patriarchal” institution, will pursue their claim against the government’s equalities office on Tuesday. The case is being brought on the grounds that the refusal to allow them to participate in a civil partnership amounts to discrimination, breaching their right to family life under article 8 of the European convention on human rights. [more inside]
Vietnam lifts ban on same-sex marriages
Mail Order Brides
"Marcia Zug is an associate professor of law at the University of South Carolina who specializes in family law. She is writing a book due out in May 2016 on the international marriage industry, called 'Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches.' The reason that mail-order brides continue to be popular, she tells me, is that conditions for women in some countries remain bleak, and as long as women have few prospects for a good match at home, they will look elsewhere for someone to start a family and life with. [more inside]
Fresh roses dropped into her lap every day
Equality is necessary, but it is not enough.
"Last week the Empire State Pride Agenda, one of the nation's largest LGBT advocacy groups, announced its closure. This came on the same day that staff members of Freedom to Marry finished packing up their cubicles, and a few weeks after cutbacks had been announced by other gay equality groups. For decades the LGBT movement has advocated for legal equality. The new LGBT movement should recognize that equality is necessary, but it is not enough." [more inside]
Swipe right on monogamy
"There's the Jamaican bobsled team, so TAKE THAT, stereotypes!"
“Black Folk Don’t...” is an open conversation that invites everyone to take a second look at the grey areas between us all, no matter the race, and most importantly to do it with a sense of humor. This documentary web series is a special presentation of BlackPublicMedia.org, directed and produced by Angela Tucker, with support from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Did you know that black folk don't… [more inside]
The Notorious RBG
'Marty Was Always My Best Friend': Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Love Story, an excerpt in Jezebel from the new book Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik. [Don't read this unless you're ready to sob like a baby.]
I'm not one to speak out on the LDS church... But this has gone too far!
Mormon Church makes same-sex couples apostates, excludes children from blessings and baptism
More details in the Salt Lake Tribune.
Mormon Church Bleeding Members Over Gay Marriage
More details in the Salt Lake Tribune.
Mormon Church Bleeding Members Over Gay Marriage
America's Child Marriage Problem
In the United States today, thousands of children under 18 have recently taken marital vows — mostly girls married to adult men, often with approval from local judges. In at least one case, a 10-year-old boy was legally married. [more inside]
The Spiritual Ordeal of Marriage
National Magazine Award Finalist Katy Butler describes a heartfelt experience attending the Art and Science of Love, a Gottman workshop, with her "almost husband". "I remember the cautionary words of Wendell Berry in an essay on marriage...'Some wishes cannot succeed. . . . Because the condition of marriage is worldly and it's meaning communal, no one party to it can be solely in charge. What you alone think it ought to be, it is not going to be. Where you alone think you want it to go, it is not going to go. . . . When you unite yourself with another, you unite yourselves with the unknown.'" John Gottman's well-known research on successful marriages.
Take *that*, assholes
A Modest Proposal - David Sedaris talks about the pros and cons of getting hitched
I have never turned heads
What happens when women propose to men
"Reactions to that one simple gesture (a marriage proposal, from a woman) contain sexist multitudes. After all, women are conditioned from an early age—by Disney, their families, the wedding industry—to hope for marriage, but simultaneously discouraged from taking any initiative in making that marriage happen. And men are expected to fear—or at least resist—matrimony. Should they decide they'd like to wed, they're required to spend an enormous amount of financial and emotional capital to create a (preferably public) display of atypically masculine vulnerability and emotionality. The sheer popularity of YouTube proposals complete with flash mobs, tear-y eyed assembled family, and the bride's shocked gasps caught in three angles is a strong indicator of the pedestal upon which we place these stories. With the reverse proposal, all this fanfare is still required, but both partners face the prospect of a lifetime of ribbing and weird comments from strangers..."