Eliezer Alfonzo is the opposite of back. He is...front?
Alfonzo went 5-9 in his first two games as a Mariner, with a big home run. Since then he's gone 4-32 and swung at everything. He did seem to bond with Felix, which was nice to see, but that relationship was doomed from the get go. It'd be nice if Felix would make more talented friends.
Alfonzo will probably clear waivers and report back somewhere in the minors, so that's good news for all you Eliezer fans. The bad news is that he'll probably clear waivers because he's bad, but if you've been able to shut that out this long, I'm sure you'll have no trouble shutting it out again.
Josh Bard doesn't completely suck, so, yay.