Please welcome Jim Riggleman, your new Mariner bench coach. You may remember Riggleman from such failures as his entire professional career.
After spending hours upon hours doing research and staring at a spreadsheet, I've come up with the following organizational rankings for bench coach performance between 2005-2007:
t-1st: Seattle
t-1st: Texas
t-1st: Oakland
t-1st: Los Angeles (AL)
t-1st: Cleveland
t-1st: Detroit
t-1st: Minnesota
t-1st: Chicago (AL)
t-1st: Kansas City
t-1st: Boston
t-1st: New York (AL)
t-1st: Baltimore
t-1st: Toronto
t-1st: Tampa Bay
t-1st: Philadelphia
t-1st: New York (NL)
t-1st: Atlanta
t-1st: Washington
t-1st: Florida
t-1st: Milwaukee
t-1st: Chicago (NL)
t-1st: Pittsburgh
t-1st: Houston
t-1st: Cincinnati
t-1st: St. Louis
t-1st: San Diego
t-1st: Colorado
t-1st: Arizona
t-1st: Los Angeles (NL)
t-1st: San Francisco
You'll notice that every team has the same rank. This is because bench coaches don't do anything. Should the rest of the staff fill out as expected, Riggleman's job description might as well read "be willing to work through a hangover and take over for Larry Bowa behind third base following ejections."
Bench coach: the only guy in the clubhouse who doesn't need a day off for flu-like symptoms. I wish Jim the best of success enjoying his free money.