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Reviews
A Touch of Frost (1992)
Frosting on the TV Cake
I've just finished my third time through the original set of shows and am finishing up seasons 14 and 15, where Frost seems a bit nattier than before but is still a remarkable man and character. I'm American and totally in thrall to British murder shows; Frost and Vera are far and away my favorites! (But where is Frost season 13, BritBox?) The mix of excellent mysteries, humor, and genuine empathy in Frost despite his curmudgeonly outlook make him a memorable and relatable character; the supporting characters are equally fine in each episode. I cringe when American crime shows get all personal with the cops, but here the relationships fit seamlessly with each situation. I also happen to love hearing David Jason speak, especially when he leans into a suspect and fires questions at him or her. This is a comfort-level watch for me unlike any other detective program (except Vera).
Queen Bee (1955)
Definitely a Queen-B Movie
Well, you could just pare away all the non-Crawford scenes and have a terrific example of high-class melodrama. Unfortunately, there are other actors in this movie zombie-ing through an inexplicable script that's like sandpaper for your eyes and ears while making no sense at all. Basically, everyone hates everyone else and everything and there's no real context for it except some mechanical moments that supposedly reveal why everyone hates everyone else. And although the movie supposedly takes place in the South you'd never really know it except for the columned portico of the mansion and the Black servants who are compelled to smile when Eva mentions how the grandfather once had 1,000 slaves. So, not pleasant. I think they might have been aiming for a "Streetcar" or "Jezebel" vibe here but it doesn't ever rise to anything more than a flat "Co-cola." And to be honest, half the time Crawford's on screen I couldn't help thinking of Faye Dunaway.
Down Low (2023)
Repulsive "Comedy"
There have been funny movies built around dead bodies and trying to hide them, but this is not one of those. An amusing start soon veers into WTF territory as the main characters make one clearly bad decision after another and logic swirls down the drain. It's not that bad decisions can't lead to funny situations, it's that ones that would clearly lead to consequences in the real world (which this movie positions itself in) such as murder, have none here. That leaves a viewer dumbfounded. After two deaths, the two leads are having cocktails and reminiscing about what an exciting they've had, for example. It's simply not credible. And the ending at Gary's funeral is so out of bounds it makes you feel no one was really thinking the plot and characters through. Sloppy, tonally deaf, wasting Judith Light, and just repulsive all around.
Bros (2022)
A Gay "Annie Hall"
A little while into this movie I realized it was a gay version of "Annie Hall." Nerdy Jewish guy who's always going on about things meets attractive (gorgeous in this case) but a bit personally awkward goy guy with whom he has an on and off relationship. Opposites attract, lots of fumbling, New York surroundings, very awkward dinners with friends and handsome guy's family where nerdy guy goes over the top being politically gay. (Thinking of Annie's stolid WASP family seeing Alvie as a Hasidic Jew during Thanksgiving.) I may be being to harsh but Billy Eichner, like Woody Allen write the movie so gave himself the lead. We'll, that said, I enjoyed most of the film. Some very funny moments that send up over-sensitive blocs in the lgbtq community, some sharp writing, fun cameos by Debra Messing, Bowen Yang, and Harvey Fierstein, and the easy on the eyes Luke Macfarlane, plus a steamy yet funny sex scene (with actors chastely still wearing their boxers and no sign of arousal) put this in the fun movie category. I'd have appreciated less Eicher bitching about everything and more character development but on the whole a funny and entertaining movie with a full roster of actors of all backgrounds. I don't get the title, though; seems to point in another direction.
Intrusion (2021)
I can't believe I watched it all!
Ok so I admit I stayed to the end, but more to see how much sillier it could get than anything else. I started to fall away from it when the gun came out and hubby expertly shot the intruders. Not once did Meera think, "where did this man I've been married to for 12 years learn to shoot like that?" And despite that there seem to be no police investigations, no legal aftermath, no trauma of any note for either of them. When Meera leans where the intruders live she goes to the trailer park and wanders around without anyone noticing her until the end of the scene. When she discovers the extremely large and elaborate secret dungeon hubby has built as part of their house, she goes into it by herself and finds the missing girl but of course is captured by hubby, who ties her up, yet she mysteriously escapes and the girl mysteriously undoes her gag...I could go on. I always wonder in these cases how such a huge and heavily fortified lair could be built (under his own home) without anyone's noticing or remembering or what...Anyway I'm rambling. This movie is more fun for its obvious mistakes and clichés than it is for its plot, characters, etc.
Resurrection (2022)
What was it?
A top candidate for worst movie I've ever seen. Totally scattered, illogical, wearying, and lacking a satisfying build of either character or plot. Hall is unsympathetic from the beginning, so there's nowhere to go as the movie progresses. Her 8-minute monologue is tedious and should have been the first third of the movie: Remember, it's show, don't tell! Her overprotectiveness regarding her daughter is just repulsive and her daughter has to spend most of her screen time being either a bitch or her mother's victim. The whole conceit that Tim Roth has a baby inside him is just ridiculous and silly and the Grand Guignol scene near the end to recover it from his body is just risible, not horrific or cathartic. Several scenes that were supposed to elicit gasps garnered laughs instead from the preview audience I was in. I don't think the director really knew how to pace the movie or determine how reality and non-reality were supposed to be woven together. What was real or in Hall's mind? Do we care? Not really. Where did that baby come from? I didn't care because I'd given up by the end of the movie. A genuine waste of time and talent.
The Selling (2011)
Hilarious comedy/horror mix!
Funniest movie I've seen in a long time, cleverly spearing a lot of horror movie conventions while keeping a fairly even balance between scariness and laugh-out-loud humor. I've always wanted to see a ghost movie where the protagonist doesn't just shrink in terror or go into some kind of slow-motion coma. This is it! There's a lot packed in here with plenty of throwaway jokes and surprises. Barry Bostwick's cameo as Father Jimmy the exorcist is priceless and tells us that the creative team really knew its film history. The end credit scenes (watch to the very end) are magnificent non sequiturs. Well done. (The credits say 2012 but information says 2021 release. I wonder why the gap.)
Agnes (2021)
Most misleading trailer ever
This is the most Catfishy movie ever. It was sold through the trailer as a demonic possession movie, which is why I decided to watch it, but two-thirds of it is dreary, bland, and simply uninteresting talk about religion. It was really a tract, not a horror film. The trailer has all the horror; just watch that and you'll be fine. The producers were too cowardly to present the movie fairly and the director and writers clearly didn't think it through. Terrible.
I'm Your Woman (2020)
Great premise that peters out
This film begins with a man bringing a baby home to his wife and telling her not to worry about where it came from. Soon, she's awakened in the middle of the night by a man who tells her to get moving while packing thousands of dollars from her husband's closet into a bag. Something has gone wrong and Eddie is nowhere to be found. A captivating premise! As the movie progresses, it becomes clear that Eddie is not just a thief but a killer who has likely been killed by the men looking for the money, so his wife has to run, protected by a mysterious man. Again, a very interesting twist on the usual crime story. But then things bog down and become farfetched and just inexplicable instead of creating more tension and intrigue for the viewer. Most egregious is the last 20 minutes, which fail to account for anything or tie up any loose ends, instead opting for a self-conscious ending that tries too hard to be arty in a vague and unsatisfying way.
Half Brothers (2020)
Road trip nightmare by the numbers
A perfectly awful, unfunny, mechanical, buddy/road trip/learning to be a better person movie that features a goat for absolutely no reason except someone must have said, "Let's have a character steal a goat! That'll be a barrel of laughs!" Which it is not. There was not a single genuine moment in this misguided movie. Each scene seemed scripted by an algorithm. One scene at an airport ticket counter was a direct steal from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. We watched it to the end so I can guarantee there's not a single laugh to be had that isn't forced out of the actors, and the attempts at pathos are bathetic and totally artificial. I could go on but there's no point. Deep six this one.
Echo in the Canyon (2018)
False advertising
Don't go expecting to see a cool documentary about a wonderful era of pop music and culture. Yes, there are interviews and archival footage but way too much time is devoted to Jakob Dylan and some concert he put together featuring thinly talented contemporary musicians singing those songs and offering banal observations about an era before they were born. It might have been interesting to hear how current performers have been influenced by the California sound, but all they do is imitate the sounds without any of the depth. Very disappointing and very incomplete.
Stuber (2019)
A steaming pile of nastiness
One of the most, if not THE most, appalling movies I have ever seen in over 50 years of going to the movies. I hardly know where to begin in describing its badness. It's in a category of its own, really. Brutal, absurd, unfunny, and tasteless, its lack of any redeeming qualities is matched only by the cravenness of the people who made it. Imagine every cop movie cliche: death of a partner, neglected and resentful daughter, a case that's being "kicked up to the Feds," a big score that's "going down" right when the cop is supposed to be at his kid's big art show, a crooked cop, and on and on. Then add massive gunfights with plenty of heads spurting blood, a death in the first five minutes of a character meant only to give the cop another reason to be on the case. Give the cop LASIK surgery so he has to stumble around and use Uber. Add "jokes" that are as limp as cooked spaghetti and as dated as The Terminator and Sade (both in actual use here) plus the ongoing humiliation of Kumail Nadjani's Uber-driving character as well as of the actor, and you get a movie that almost literally made me sick. The only thing worse was hearing so many people in the audience laughing at the violence and not at the jokes. Some movies you just don't like; some, like this one, are objectively bad. Bad in their conception, bad in their execution, bad in their spirit. Even though we saw it for free I feel like 20th Century Fox owes me at least $15.00 and an apology. Revolting.
A Nice Quiet Life (2018)
Did the cast members even know each other?
I've seen plenty of gay-themed movies, but this was one of the worst. Wooden acting, poor line readings, and absolutely no chemistry among any of the actors. Jeremy responds to everything with a vacant stare and a pause as if he's trying to remember his line, but that's about the same for all the others. The romantic scenes were more like business meetings. I don't really know about schizophrenia but I can't imagine that it comes on all of a sudden and immediately goes from A to Z. And frankly, I don't see why Jeremy would want to give up his life and career for someone he's really just met. I certainly never felt they were truly in love. And the return of the unfaithful boyfriend made no sense.
Us (2019)
Worst Movie of the Year so far
Not a single scary moment, not a single unpredictable thing. After a tedious introduction to the family, all hell breaks loose and just keeps going with lots of scary eyes, standing in place, telegraphed events, revenge-y violence and I could go on and on. So many holes that weren't filled: How did the doubles find their doubles? Who managed to put together that huge project without anyone knowing? Why was it located under an amusement park? Where did they get all those red coveralls and shears? Who cares? Not me. Plenty of almost scares, then nothing...Dialogue minimal and banal when it managed to happen. The "twist" at the end had me yawning. I dare you to tell me how incredibly metaphorical or social-commentary-oriented this movie is. Just a waste of time, energy, good actors, and pixels. Fortunately, I saw it for free. The trailer is the only scary thing about this misbegotten movie. Sometimes you shouldn't let a person be writer, producer, and director, no matter how good his first movie was (Which it was).