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Gladiators (2024)
Hit and Miss
The show has been something of a surprise, and certainly manages to bring some of the old magic back to the screen. There are problems though, the presenting team simply doesn't work. The Morecambe & Wise act that Brad & Lad seem to be going for completely misses the mark, it simply doesn't fit this show. The other issue is that we have two pantomine villains: Legend and Viper. Out of the two, Legend is more convincing, and at least has an element of cheek to his act, and he does look half-convincing as a competitor, but what is the point of Viper? A couple of changes and the magic might be complete.
Absolutely Fabulous (1992)
Braincell Killer
I have no idea why this is rated so highly, it's just a nightmare to watch. The two main characters are the kinds of people you'd do everything to avoid in real life, so why you'd want them to be front and centre of so many scenes is absolutely beyond me. Bubble is one of the very few good things about the series early on, but her character is destroyed when she's suddenly turned into the kind of character that Julie Walters plays so well. June Whitfield's stinging remarks raise a smile or two to begin with, but that wears off quickly. Any supposed satire gets lost in the oh-so-wacky behaviour of Eddy and Patsy. As for the rest of the characters - Bo and Marshall are about as funny as an Ethiopian famine appeal, John who appears in later episodes is just plain awful, I couldn't work out the point of Fleur and Catriona, and Katy Grin? Grin? Not once! I guess you had to be there at the time for this one, because without that big dollop of nostalgia, there doesn't seem to be much left.
Been So Long (2018)
Awkward
We nearly gave up on this film after some of the horrendous songs at the start, but we soldiered on. Things improved when the two main characters were allowed to act somewhat naturally, they weren't perfect, but they worked well enough to move things along... until the next awful song. The seemingly random moments that popped up from time to time did add up to a very small something in the end, but not enough to warrant their inclusion - they just stole time from the only slightly interesting part of the story. Anyway, don't give up too quickly, it does improve - just not by much. Without the songs, this may have managed 6/10... as it is, it's an awkward 4.
The Virtues (2019)
A Slow Road to a Cracking Conclusion
I agree with the reviewer who complained about the high scores handed to this series from the very start. The first three episodes felt far too thin in terms of content and really only had occasional moments of brilliance. That said, the final episode is an absolute cracking bit of telly, and is well worth 10/10... and more. I'm so glad we stuck with it, and we only did that because we are big fans of Shane Meadows' work. If you're reading this and you gave up on it early on, it might be worth you giving it another go, the payoff is well worth it.
Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (2014)
Nativity 3: Dude, This Smells of Donkey Dung
The first film with Martin Freeman was thoroughly enjoyable with a fabulous finale. The second film with David Tennant was problematic but had some laughs along the way. This disaster with Martin Clunes (who is one of the many issues) is a complete and utter disaster. There is nothing positive to say about this at all... the concept is terrible, the casting is terrible, the songs are terrible, and the messages it gives to children are equally terrible. THE FILM IS TERRIBLE!!! If you like Christmas... avoid this film. If you haven't seen this film yet... avoid this film. This film is not even a film... it's a nightmare. It would be no exaggeration to say that the best thing to come out of this dungfest comes straight out of Archie's backside. The maddest thing about it is that they've made ANOTHER ONE! Surely when you've sunk this low, it's way past the time to stop. I wish there was a way to award minus scores on here, but even then there might not be a low enough option.
Watership Down (2018)
Not That Bad!!!
I notice that the 1-star ratings are pouring in, and I can't help finding it rather odd. Yes, the animation is a little off. Yes, the plot can be hard to follow at times because some of the rabbits look a little too alike. Yes, it's a bit too long at nearly three and a half hours. And no, it doesn't compare well with the 1978 film... but 1/10? Really? People need to look beyond the problems and see the story. They need to think about what the story is putting across, and how a new generation who might not have seen the 1978 version are being allowed to see this message... They might even be curious enough to check out the film after seeing this. Look beyond the nostalgia or your hatred for CGI, and ask yourself... is there something more than nothing here. Don't be put off if the rating continues to slide, because whilst there is plenty to criticise here, it is far from a complete loss.
ETA: The third and fourth parts were weaker than the first two, and I have to admit that I lost interest during part three, it was just too drawn out for how little was going on. Part four was slightly better, but three and a half hours was simply too much in the end.
Hold the Sunset (2018)
Farty Towels
We felt like giving up after one episode, but we decided to see if it was first episode syndrome. We wish we hadn't bothered. It just isn't funny. There's nothing else to say. If a sitcom isn't funny, then it isn't a sitcom. We won't be back for number three. You'd have to be mad.
Babs (2017)
A Mess
I was looking forward to this, but what a massive disappointment. The constant jumping back and forth completely destroyed any flow. Jaime Winstone was completely miscast. She's lovely enough, but she's not Babs, and she sounds like a rabbit being put through a mangle when she's singing... totally unpleasant.
There were plus points. Samantha Spiro was excellent, as was Honor Kneafsey... and Robin Sebastian was again fabulous as Kenneth Williams.
The BBC have produced some excellent stuff, but this simply wasn't up to snuff. In terms of Carry On films, this was more Carry on Abroad than Carry on Camping.
Three Girls (2017)
Grim, Powerful and Frustrating
This three part mini-series was shown over three nights, and it knocked me for six for each of those three nights. The subject matter is grim, but it would be since it is the real-life story of the Rochdale child sex abuse ring. There is enough impact in the stories of the three girls at the centre of it all, but the performances of those involved make sure that it smacks you between the eyes. Maxine Peake is phenomenal as the frustrated NHS sexual health worker who nobody will take seriously. Paul Kaye is superb as the helpless father of one of the girls. Lisa Riley is brilliant as the mother of the other two girls. Lesley Sharpe is fantastic as the copper struggling with her own doubts about the system. And of course the girls playing Holly, Amber and Ruby are all unbelievable in their ability to be believable. If you watch this and aren't emotionally drained after each episode, there is something seriously wrong with you.
If you didn't watch it, find it. This really is how you do it. Awesome. Incredible. Sad. Disgusting.