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Reviews
Mayfair Witches (2023)
Well it's a show
Dripping with the most pretentious over-affected fake southern accents netflix could buy from the hack films of yester year comes a fraught gothic drama that get's lost in it's attempt at creating suspense, sensuality and dramatic purpose. Again, we learn that the purpose for a film production set partially in New Orleans is a road trip and tax credits. Harry Hamlin truly missed his calling and his time and place in history, when he could have been cast as the lead in all the Dr. Phibes films of the great forgotten age of campy psychotronic horror. Vincent Price would surely not be missed. Jack Huston is under the assumption he's auditioning for a Tennessee Williams play and therefore studied Paul Newman's diction.
I tried to find the right attitude to just enjoy it for what it's worth, but it's so boring you can't keep a focus. Also, no one in the crew can properly block a shot and or scene, especially if it has more than one person in it. All actors in an ensemble shot not speaking general nod emphatically!!! To telegraph their support for whatever fervent declaration advances the next step in the plot which well, whatever is the point? Necklaces and portals to the past? Men who stare at goats? Curses and vintage lace, trans-generational organisms of power? Somehow I would bet watching this on edibles wouldn't begin to hell this mess.
Hit Man (2023)
WTAF? This is the star vehicle for a new generational talent?
God, the hype train is just so good these days, I fell for it and watched this based on baked influence. It went from promising to gutter trash retread of any.light romantic farce ever trasmitted by light weights. I guess if you set it in Bew Orleans, ut automatically becomes slightly erotically charged and off kilter. I see most of the supporting cast brought their best coached S. Georgia dialectics.
Honestly, professor/nopd liason as undercover hitman could have been quite a funny premise in more creative hand, say a modern day George Cuckor or even Farrelly Brothers. Adam Sandler coukd have phoned in something more charming. This was just big sexy time for hunk in geek disguise trysting hot latina beauty brought to you entirely by mediocre talent. The pacing is quite eratic as well, it bogs down and loses all momentum about half way through, which is when my yawns became constant and I wandered off to bed, never to finish.
Maybe you will like it better than I did but I doubt it.
Lance (2020)
More complex portrait than some other docs. Still a pathnarc.
Jeez what a resentful odious creature. The fire in his belly is slowly consuming him. I am so glad he found sports instead of killing small animals as a child, or the world might have had to endure a completely different type of suffering. 10 years later, and a world set on fire since the last set if epics on all if Armstrong's transgressions, and this presents with a littke distance perhaps a more complex portrait of personal ambition in a sport that only seemed to catch on as a result of Lemond and then Armstrong. The most interesting quote in this two parter comes from a former team manager who when talking about Americans involvement in cycling that American sports are Football and Basketball, Anericans that go into cycling don't fit in(as in they are oddballs in their own culture). And yet Armstrong did nothing if not adapt an American competitive approach-win at all costs whether or not you destroy that which you set out to conquer. The family annihilator model of if I can't have it, I will amke damn sure no one else can.
Well anyway, Lance has been to therapy, seen the effects of his consequences meted out on his family, gotten the best coaching, legal and business advice power and influence and money can buy, and he's still desperate to settle scores, although he was nice enough to apologize to Emma the Soignier. It'll be fun in a new way to hear Christian V comment occasionally about Armstrong's alt Tour de France exploits during NBC's race broadcast.
Ren Faire (2024)
Another reality show masquerading as a dcoumentary
Creepy old guy just wants to sell his business find the love of his life at 85, and die when he has determined to go. Who will succeed, who will make it happen? Who wants to climb Little Finger's ladder all the way to the top of this nerd libertarian goldmine? It's just as dull as I hoped it wouldn't be, having known some fun independent characters who participate in these shows and have the courage to step out of big corporatism. This just isn't it. Creators of this are trying to make this Tiger King. Another dud for Max.
Blah blah blah balh ball balk ballast blam balm bilk billing bushleague character count.
The Iron Claw (2023)
Disappointing made for tv melodrama
I'm not getting it. Zac Efron in an absolute firght wig. This seems like a made for tv movie with a predictable story arc. I can't believe it passed for Oscar Bait. I guess the hype is for the athletic training the actors did for the roll. Don't get me, all the cast are rock solid actors. But this is not a well told story, it's not grabbing my attention except for the overacting and the bad authentic costumes and makeup. This picture is very much not for me.
Filling up space with characters to meet the limit. Filling up space with characters to meet the limit. Filling up space with characters to meet the limit.
Black Sails (2014)
Middlebrow t&a story with bad dialogue writing. Entertainung enough
This epuc spends to much time dialoguing plot points that would work better if they were demonstrated by action sequences that are expisitory. Otherwise a fairly straightforward story is made confusing and tedious. Or maybe it was poor editing choices that thwart the storyline juxtapositions so they are muddled. The acting is very uneven with a few standouts-the old cranky nemesis of Vein, the governor, Silver, among them. Dude that plays Blackbeard is just so bad an actor(rip), but this might have bedn his best effort, because he's not asked to carry the series, and alot of mediocre talent with bad accents and a thirst for melodramatic soliloquy, even better if done oiled up and barechested or with heaving bosom cinched to chin. A true Michael Bay classic.
Not bad if you've run out of interesting things on Netflix, Vikings and The Last Kingdom are far superior all around, for romantic historic adventure epics.
Dalíland (2022)
Exceedlingly tedious
If you saw Almost Famous, you've seen this movie. That's it. It's a tedious story told through the eyes of a young and beautiful artistic ingenue, dazzled by sordid drama and high camp of the tortured artist and his entourage and the soul crush of the business behind art. And you've seen it before, the scenes of the beautiful people writhing in soft focus dance, the artist posed before his work in moments of deeply mysterious contemplation. And because this is just a sloppy mess, it comes across as millenial era creatives filming pretty people romping through a designer wardrobe closet from the 1970's, playing dressup in pretty clothes as if it recreates something meaningful. A boring derivative costume drama about an eccentric surrealist. A most complete package of missed opportunities in story telling and performing, The cast used as props.
30 for 30: I Hate Christian Laettner (2015)
Well i didn't like it
Back to back in march madness, compared to the doc of the fab five, just not very interesting. I didn't learn much that I didn't already know, it was very repetitive, the interviews had nothing but tropes and sound bytes. They gave it a try but the creators didn't build much of compelling narrative for such a repellent 'hate the player' iconclast personality. Some of the hate Laettner isn't on him, it's institutional. Duke has an outsized reputation considering what an elitist little stone bubble it is in the middle of Durham. But that tough love, bully you into being better uber competitive thing hasn't aged well. I wonder why Laettner didn't have better pro success? Oh well, he's aged well, seems happy, I hope he's evolved sunce he's had kids.
The Girls on the Bus (2024)
Soapy tropey nonsense-like cheap pink champagne it will give you a headache while you're still consuming.
This could be any fill in the setting sex in the city rip off the the pop pretty girl problem of the moment. Griffin Dunn sadly continues to standing for any other wizened mild mannered corporate boss because he hasn't had a good role since After Hours. Eric Stolz again, is completely wasted. And the lead actors really don't have much to work with script wise. I wish I could tell you which pretty modern women with problems show it reminds me of, they all run together, all equally vaccuous, glib, barely scratching the surface of what they attempt to portray. Best guess is Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce. The ghostly presence of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson isn't helping. First two episodes I thought there might be hope but this is just ripped from the headlines nonsense for people who can't read good. By episode three, I'm bored.
The Truth About Jim (2024)
House of straws
God save everyone from their prick stepfathers from the 70's and 80's, those who survived abuse and those who didn't. Also, the woman presenting her obsession is building her online presence. Somewhere in between is a long winding syncretic account with no there there except perhaps wish fulfillment. It's self aggrandizing behavior inverted. Long story short, conventionally media pretty girl spins family history for drama and attention, and the newly minted MAX jumps at opportunity for the cheap. I hope she gets some more therapy. This is unwatchable and manipulative. Rape and murder core.....
The Mighty Boosh (2003)
Interesting if a bit lost in translation in the US
American viewer here. I've been hereing this show referenced in various places without knowing why. Finally used the little knowledge device from my pocket and read up on it. I really just watched out of curiosity having often wondered who is that weird guy with the out of date 1970's glam rocker hair on the British baking show. He always seems so out of place but is obviously some sort of celebrity. So now I know his appearance is his trademark and he's pretty immune to embarassment. As far as the Boosch goes, Some of the bits go right over my head because I don't understand some of the local british references but it's very creative. Somehow it reminds me most of the very early Pee Wee Herman Show episodes, with the blend of art props music and dream stream of consciousness stuff. Also, Kids in the Hall, though it doesn't have Lorne Michaels production money behind it. And of course Tracey Ullman. Tracks with some experimental stuff from Night
Flight in the 80's. It seems rather out of time for the 2000's, but then I have to remind myself that smart phones and social media hadn't infiltrated pop culture yet when this was made. This is some heavy duty Art School low budget project creativity and it grows on you if you appreciate that sort of thing. Cover page of Goth Weekly indeed.
Summer of Rockets (2019)
Chaotic mess with polish around the edges
This is the 1950's cold war equivalent if trying to explain Qanonymous to a rational person. One crazy mess that takes hours to tell, and when you're finished, no one's the wiser but agree it was wasted time. I almost expected Julian Fellowes to be involved the campy melodrama and money spent on production and convoluted story lines that get more fraught the longer you watch. It's attempting to be a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, but is really just reverse circlejerk. Decent Cast is wasted in a trashy senseless mess of a melodrama.
Blah blah blah bobs lawblob blah blah blah.blah.
The Garden: Commune or Cult (2023)
Not a doc series, just a reality show
Problem with anarcho communal living is well, sooner or later there's lord of the flies drama unless everyone involved is very clear about what collective goals are and ethics are respected. 20 minutes in and this looks like big brother in the woods. And 'Man I know the CIA is looking at us' just demonstrates the level of thoughtfulness. Problem with every person you're gonna see here is the level of self importance and narcissism. Some of that will fade with age but not particularly helpful in a collective.
As for the commune v cult question, click bait irrelevance. Go do your thing. You should be far too busy growing animal tending and maintaining to be social media influence pedaling.
As for the show, i gave it 20 minutes before all the reality show structures fully came together. Not a documentary; nothing of note to learn here. You can't even see inside their "greenhouse" which has very little thermal or lighting functionality. So maybe it's their humboldt skunkweed bunker and arsenal. Ho hum.
Radical Wolfe (2023)
Michael Lewis coming off like a deliberate obtuse ingenue. He is not.
Opening scene, i said to myself who is this numbskull in the seersucker suit who grew up in New Orleans and thinks it isn't a literary town. Because he didn't pay attention to authors names, like author of the Hardy Boys as a kid? And yet comes from old New Orleans money and elite east coast education, that takes as much pride in the finer points of art as they do about entertaining and making sure their kids marry well, conservative as their tastes may be.
Here's another fun quote: i look at him as a role midel, but an imperfect role model'. But I don't think anyone else took the chances that Tom Wolfe took, not just stylistically but morally. , as we scan to a black and white still of his sartorial choice of footware.
Michael Lewis thinks there was no sense of style in newspaper journalism before the 1960's. This is just lazy writing for an audience who has largely abandoned the written word in print as a mode of creativity, communication, and craft, of vocation.
AH Liebling, Studs Terkel, Dorothy Parker, Henry Miller, Ernest Hemingway, or the early Arm Forces work of Hunter S. Thompson Joan Didion, Molly Ivins or John McPhee. I could go on. Tom Wolfe is best known as a fashion plate who had a genius for explaining in detail one or another forces of contemporary culture to the more traditional culture mavens of the day. The Electric Acid Koolaid Test is well worth reading, but then you read Ken Kesey. Mau-Mauing the Flak-Catchers and I am Charlotte Simmons are bookends to a career that was prime and fashionable, but doesn't age well, becomes what it attempts to skewer.
This documentary kind of has the same problem and its less than the sum off its parts, a glossary of tidbits and quotes. It's lazy and boring.
Into the Woods (2014)
My ears and head hurt
I lasted just long enough for red riding hood to make her first appearance. The face looks disturbingly plastic and the voice is terrible. Somehow Anna Kendrick was shrieking, and well, 5 minutes in and I know Tracey Ullman and Christine Baranski aren't going to salvage this abomination of filmed
Musical theater.. i realize all the cast have the ambition to show off their singing chops because I guess they want to keep up with the masked singer or the greatest voice. But the libretto and the music are horrible. All ready know James Coburn or whatever his last name is is going to overdo every scene he is in so desperate is he to have someone love him. The music is hopelessly atonally modern without having a reason d'etre. Someone somewhere needs to step up and teach musical theater kids and their grown up counterparts about interpretation and the amazing versatility of vocal dynamics when people train and don't have an end goal of trying to screech over each other to convey meaning. It's discordant constant horrible noise. For godsakes the cast and director need to listen to some Ella Fitzgerald, Julie Andrews, and Maria Callas recordings. I want no more of this, was just rooting around on hulu looking for something mildly amusing to watch. This ain't it folks. Guess I'll watch only murders in the building again.
Big Sky (2020)
Embarassing.
Wasn't expecting a whole lot, but a basic level of function and wit in a David E Kelley ep series. But this is laughably bad, titillating made for tv movie drama. A few talented cast members can't save a modern day Charlie's Angels meets Mr Mercerdes meets Norman Bates wanna be creepy but with sheepskin and truckers and sex trafficking. The writing is just terrible. The characters cardboard, the tropes stultifying. You'd think with all that covid time on their hands, the writers might have come up with something interesting, but tge instacart delivered gummies were just too powerful. Woooeee, feel the rage and the crisp mountain air. .
The Age of Innocence (1993)
Beautiful movie if you are able to appreciate it
Ponderous and suffocating are the only words I have for this film adaptation. And that is as intended. It's operatic tragedy masquerading as a period piece. I think that might have been it's appeal for Scorcese to challenge himself in his studies of the trappings of New York. Having lineage from people like this and people aspiring to this, I can appreciate it to a point, but it is rather two dimensional, which is perhaps as intended in the pov of the author. Great adaptation, beautifully designed and filmed, really nothing to complain about and yet, I do not like it. Not the fault of Scorcese, just my own bias. When this film came out, I avoided it like the plague. The film world then had so many interesting and diverse works to offer and this somehow seemed tired and been there done that. Still seems that way to me after 30 years, thematically. I will say this, I think
Scorcese generally is more a perfector of than innovator in his illustrious career. That in the end is one of his gifts to the world, besides his detailed history of New York through era specific visual storytelling.
Playing by Heart (1998)
Participation trophies for all
I'm not seeing what everyone else is gushing over. I'm waiting for the plot payoff but it's not coming and i'm at the end. Nothing insightful to think about.
My impressions:
Dennis Quaid is just bad in this. He really does have limits as an actor and this is beyond his scope.
Non exhaustive List of ensemble dramas about relationships of the era. Love Actually, Grand Canyon, Magnolia, Short Cuts, Boogie Nights, Singles, Four Weddings and a Funeral, the ice storm, all about my mother, big nighT, home for the holidays. This is another one. It doesn't stand out in any way. I fail to see the uniqueness others do. It is very much a 90's flick though.
Ryan Phillippe's frosted tips were ahead if their time. He still is just trying to be seductively reading lines.
Angelina Jolie proves once again that staring into a camera luminously with a remarkably beautiful face while reading lines does not equal acting.
Wooden performances from so many. Gena Rowlands and Sean Connery could sleepwalk through their roles and still have gravitas and i think they did.
Gillian Anderson had to try several things before she could find a way to demonstrate her abilities. This was an early attempt to bridge to a better place. Meh in Scully hair makeup and wardrobe.
John Stewart playing himself easily. He will always be my Death to Smoochie hero.
Madeline Stowe and Anthony whatever his name are are the most natural actors in this film. He's had alot of tv drama to practice with. Madeline just has a natural presence the way Spencer Tracey did.
Ellen Byrstyn type cast once and forever as mother in a crisis.
Jay Mohr is well, dying son in a bed trope, thankfully not overdoing his few lines. But role does not require much of him. His attempts to jump from snl to movies didn't work out well. He's not an actor. But his agent tried.
The Killer (2023)
Meh and misses
This seems sloppy. Goof-talk about the sunshine state and scenes very obviously south louisiana with plants architecture and then the french spelling. Some of that you's have to live in Louisiana to catch. But my point is, for a director known for meticulous work, this is not. It just seems sloppy, the voice over narration becomes annoying quickly, and there seem to be some continuity issues with the plot. It's also just not engrossing at all. No reason to be interested is given. Oerformances phoned in, even Tilda can't save it. Just another anti hero assassin movie with pulpy script. Yawns abound.
Zombie Town (2023)
Oh its a lensed story alright
Someone has to employ comedians from the last century and 19 years with longer bio's than they have film credits, so there's that. It's generally lacking in anything interesting of note. Kids in the Hall alums have done better things. But obviously this wasn't geared towards adults. I just have a hard time believing it is entertaining for YA either. Yawns galore. I gotta type somemore stuff for minimum character quota. Chevy Chase gives this movie gravitas if that tells you anything. Dan Akroyd gets to vent his paranoid delusions in a healthy way. I don't know, but kids these days they just don't understand.
Reptile (2023)
Satisfying, surprisingly so
Well what do you think if that. A neo noir drama meant for actual adults that is not insulting to the intelligence or wrapped up in gimmicks. Excellent casting of experienced character actors and nice performances from Alicia Silverstone, too many times typecast, and Justin Timberlake,not just a disney brat-boy band hottie . It's reminiscent of american crime dramas that rely on story and character and a sense of paranoia and foreboding rather than car chases, flashy scenario or snappy dialogue. I was pleasantly surprised. Much more restrained than say a Sydney Lumet drama. Nice to see new blood escaping typical formulas for the genre. It's always worth giving a look at what Benecio del Toro involves himself.
Encounters (2023)
Nothing new here, just discussion of belief systems
I'm sure people saw something they can not explain, but that's the only relevation. One guy talking about knowing and having encoubters at night in his bed, clearing describing sleep paralysis. People are suggestible and have very different interpretations of unusual events and novel experiences. Unexplained doesn't necessarily mean extraterrestrial. This series tilts toward conspiracy and apocalypse cultures merging, and a subtle anti or post scientific pov. People are reaching for connection and creating these hybrid belief structures to replace what they have lost in traditional belief structures. Poignant, credulous revelations from real people and one or two skeptics or experts per episode to make it all 'fair and balanced'. Considering who some of the creative and productive crew are, you might think the final product would be better, but in the end it's just a more refined version of the traditional unexplained phenomenon media presentation that H. G Wells and Orson Welles proved was possible.
Champions (2023)
Predictable
I feel like there's a backstory here because Woody Harrelson doesn't do bs treaclish hollywood feelgood formulaic nonsense. He's # built a resilient career out of being selective and fearless. The bball team players are charming stand up performers, but this is just so predictable I honestly said some of the lines before they were spoken, verbatim. The special needs community deserves better than this and audiences don't need to be talked down or preached to. Kaitlin Olsen is as bad in this as she is in Curb Your Enthusiasm ir maybe worse. I guess there's something in the improv chemistry at IASIP, because otherwise she's just interesting.
The three is for the actors from the special needs community. Everyone else just phoned it in.
Big George Foreman (2023)
Stultifying
It takes alot of work to make a golden age of late 20th boxing come from nothing champ's life vacuous fluff but this delivers. Such un-nuanced performances, a script with no momentum and nothing much to say, and the viewer comes away knowing nothing about Foreman that they didn't know if they were born before 2000 or read in a wiki page. Louis Gilliard jr channeling a Damon Wayans character from In Living Color is just embarassing in a cheap fright wig and beard.
The dialogue is just nothing but cheap cliches cut and pasted from inspirational sports drama trailers and the lead character has three facial expressions: pouty man baby, angry man baby, and aw shucks ignorant man baby. And like the joke in Zoolander-the expressions are all the same. Even Forest Whitaker struggles not to be a lifetime movie caricature. A terrible movie in the most bland way possible.
BS High (2023)
Omg this is so pretentiously bad
Partly my fault for wasting my time anymore now that serial documentaries are the 'erudite' alternative to reality programs for relatively cheap to produce streaming filler entertainment. I really can't take this glorification of a psychopath as star of the show to drive this story, it's sickening. It makes all the investigators and journalists complicit to the crime of glorifying his behavior simply by giving him a mic and a camera lens. It's not about anything else than Roy Johnson, so the title, pun included, and certainly the descriptions are deceiving. It's a cringe filled story you've heard many times before only this has been stretched from a 30-60 minute spot to a serial, a meta con with in a con with in a con. HBO is over. 30 on 30 produces much better sports documentaries. Notable quotes: "i could tell you some stories you'd never believe, but I'd literally say whatever I need to say to pull that dog up out you." "One of those stoid kids, I mean one of those young men that I like..."