happylittletree

The primary reason Lawn Dogs is so maddening is that it's horribly obvious in its efforts to be irreverent. Oh look, a free-spirited girl scout befriends grown trailer trash of the opposite gender, isn't that strange & befuddling? Oh look, the lawn boy blocks cars on a bridge to casually strip naked & perform an Olympic-caliber dive into the lake while everyone watches, isn't that arty & unexpected? There are some interesting images that might intrigue you, but that's just high style with little content outside of a handful of good performances.

saving graces? An adorable Mischa Barton is excellent as curious young Devon-- she was certainly talented at this age, though that might be hard for some to believe since she's inexplicably worsened with age (or laziness?). You might find flaws with her in Lawn Dogs if you're searching for them, but it's probably because you can see the Marissa Cooper in her and because Devon is a cliché construction: precocious youth represents innocence, revolts against the hypocrisy surrounding her. I've seen it, read it, heard it before, and never before did I have to roll my eyes with pseudo-evocative comments like "I don't like children. They smell like TV". A 10-year-old abstracting via synesthesia to get her disillusioned point across? That's abusing any willingness I had left with this movie to suspend my disbelief. But that's not her fault. Overall she's endearing, engaging, even funny, which makes her weekly exhibitions of "acting" on The OC all the more unforgivable. Of course, the #1 reason to watch this movie is Sam Rockwell, who I have yet to see give an uninspired performance in anything. Always bold, unusually brilliant, he'll strangely affect you whether you want him to or not. It's actors like him who make you realize why you love the movies. The relationship between Barton & Rockwell's characters is the third saving grace. Read: the problems with this film do not lie in the performances.

I'm not going to argue with anyone if they love the movie, there may be moments that resonate with you. But like it for it's strengths and not because you're mistaking well-shot moments of quiet insipidness for moments of meaningful poignancy. If I had seen it 10 years ago when I was 13 and just starting to consistently watch indies then I might have enjoyed it more. But I've seen enough to know that Lawn Dogs chews up & spits out ideas & techniques pilfered from preexisting offbeat movies without actually having any real insights of its own. The overt symbolism between class differences is so obvious it's insulting, and comments meant to be profound are executed with as much depth & insight as angsty teen poetry. Now let's count the painfully obvious cliché's, shall we?

1) guy from wrong side of the tracks as society's scapegoat 2) unlikely relationship between kindred spirits: this usually comes in the form of crossing age, gender, & class differences 3) Projecting a myth/fable/fairy tale/work of literature/history lesson as a conscious allusion to the themes & realities of the film. Yeah, I read several versions of Baba Yaga (also known as Bony Legs) when I was younger and it doesn't work so well here as, say, the use of "Peter Pan" in "ET" or countless other movies where this technique is used. 4) precocious youngster represents natural goodness & guides the action of the story 5) manicured lawns and pristine suburban sprawl represent falseness, superficiality, a loss of individuality

None of these would be remotely problematic if they were better executed with some originality. Think how well the show "Weeds" pulls off #5. But I digress…

Lawn Dogs says little and means even less. This movie is like a sentimental blubbering loner who sits, cries, whines, but is never for a moment aware enough to know why. You take an interest, you feel kind of bad...but in the long-run you're not really sure why on earth you're supposed to care.

The film tries to camouflage its mediocrity behind an edgy MTV style aesthetic, which only works if you're in sixth grade. the film doesn't even manage to capture a remotely compelling portrait of struggling actors in LA before accelerating into a ridiculous turn of "let's make our friend famous".

Steve Strait isn't bad, could be promising in future projects, and Pell James is decently likable but bless her heart she's not yet strong enough to carry a film. As far as Ashlee Simpson goes, she's really not the worst actress on the planet or even in the movie, but that's the most positive thing about her i could think of to say. When she's not visibly trying to be arty and deep her acting talents stand above Jessica Alba & Paris Hilton, yet still decidedly below a cadaver on CSI. Watching her jam is especially hilarious. I don't think her voice sounds bad, but she's transparently trying so hard to be rock that I was surprised the extras didn't start booing her pretentious efforts. It's one of those movies that fails because you're not watching characters, you're watching unconvincing people who seem to think they're acting. Honorable mentions: Shannyn Sossamon is amusing as a dim supermodel, and Carrie Fisher is great because she looks like she can't wait to get away from all these boring prats and home to a very dry martini. And a warning to all: the lack of excitement makes the movie feel an hour longer than it is.

So if you're like me and you love to make fun of bad movies aimed at the WB crowd, or if you're one of THOSE who actually thinks "one tree hill" is a good show, then Undiscovered is a decent rental. if not, don't waste the 90 minutes of your life.