Reviews

99% of the cast are amateur professionals, didn't have a single feeling for any of them, it was predictable at every turn, and why the guy didn't store his disc at work in a secure news office rather than his apt in a cheap locking drawer was the worst offense, and driving like a maniac back to court with an official police car chasing then lighting him on fire infront of a bus? Pfft. I only mention that one because it was as stupid as the same detective doing donuts around the ADA in the parking lot later. The whole thing was a bore.

So now since I have to blab 600 words I'm going to say I have loved film since I was a kid, my uncle used to take me to see the 007 films of the early 70s and watched Dracula and horror movies on a black and white tv when he babysitted me at 4 and scared the heck out of me and gave me nightmares I will never forget as long as I live, 52 yrs later I can still remember 2 that were better than any horror film made, assault on precinct 13 from the 70s has nothing on my imagination.

It's bad, you know the second they reference The Postman Always Rings Twice and Double Indemnity right at the start it's not going to be good. Then by the time the Detour scene comes in It's like a dead dog stinking up the joint and you just want to bury it humanely. I know Kruger from her role in Inglourious Basterds, and a few other flicks out there where she did a decent job. She's got talent. This was not one of those roles, none of the actors did a passable job from the sheriff to probation officer Azaria, the daughter, husband, boyfriend/thief, they all stunk, people reference Lifetime and Hallmark, this is not even on that level, there isn't even a believable love or lust scene or dramatic bit in the movie. This is CBC quality, aka Canadian Broadcasting Corp stuff here, we're talking The Beachcombers or Littlest Hobo type 70s stuff here. The ending was a blessing, of course she ends up with the daughter lol, so predictable and 2022, the bore is over at least, not a chance I will ever watch this again.

So watching this you ask many questions, why did he kidnap Tiresia? What was his motive? In the end I deduced he was just a sick man who likes to observe and gain trust before he lashes out and destroys that that entertains him. The Hedgehog was a metaphor for what he was capable of, watch, feed, observe, and when he tires of you? He's a twisted sick man, the depressing tone of the movie parallels his and Tiresia's pain and outsider status. It's funny how he has to kill or think he killed and T has to be savaged and blinded to come to terms with who they really are and what their calling in life is. Then they meet again, how Tiresia doesn't recognize his voice is beyond me, he had her locked up for weeks at least and was a bit psychic, or maybe he/she did know amd ignored it because life was better as a blind sage who was looked after. And how he just stumbles on this village is again a stretch if he wasn't a father while imprisoning her, are we supposed to believe he is anyone other than who he is? Other reviews suggest it's a different character, but isn't it funny he runs the male version of Tiresia over at the end if so?? There's two crazy people running around the same countryside or one mad Padre, I think he dumped his victim(s) there because he is familiar with the place and works there, he just didn't expect to find her alive when he came back from his absence or sabbatical and decided to finish off the threat realizing T is a clairvoyant or gifted. All in all a cinematographic masterpiece in the use of light and shadows, like a Carravaggio painting. The plot was weak, the premise was weak and I know nothing about Greek mythology so can't comment on that side. Worth a watch for the visuals and interesting cast, other than that? Watch Chocolate for the visuals and story line if you want big scale 80s independent cinema or Manon Of The Spring from the 90s instead, the latter being french language with great cinematography as well as a decent story.

There's no way this is a 7.1 out of 10 movie, the whole thing is juvenile at best, she makes silly choices right from the start, who in this day and age doesn't street view when they are renting a place, especially the dilapidated streets of Detroit, then lets assume like every other young person out there that she wouldn't phone Mom or a friend or somebody and say there is a weird guy here at my rental, what should I do? So she stays like any female would do right? Lol, then hears weird stuff and her door is open at night and she's still ok with that and gets up in the AM and finds out she's in a dump but doesn't grab her belongings and just beat it after the interview like any other human under 80 in the whole world would do let alone a Z or Millennial female.

And why exactly would she be staying after her meeting? Wouldn't you go back where you came from and wait to hear the outcome? You think you're starting next Monday or something and should stick around? Lol. Then you get the K guy getting smashed out, her being trapped for the 2nd time until old Justin Long shows up, another oblivious tool who does the exact opposite of what any normal person would do who had rental house in the middle of a war zone, measure the place and search Google to see if the creepy basement adds value to your $50K house among $1000 houses. Sure, makes sense.

None of it makes sense, then the silly flashback to the 70s, the homeless guy saving her, warning her and then going back because she has to save that unknown guy, lol, as if. Total failure and it's as ridiculous as saying a Hallmark Movie represents real life. Bad acting all around except the Skarsgard guy. Long fails again like he did in Drag Me To Hell and Jeepers Creepers, they should just let him stick to comedy like Idiocracy or Accepted where he can be just average and nobody cares. He's a 1000 lb anchor as far as horror movies go, and this was a dog of a movie. Stick to The Conjuring universe or a classic horror thrillers rather than waste your time on Barbarian, the creature? Hilarious and laughed so hard at it, wish I could say the movie didn't make me laugh as well.