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kimbpaul
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Bloodline (2015)
Watching paint dry. 👎👎👎
Netflix has a 1 "thumbs down" for a dislike rating, 1 "thumbs up " for a "like" rating, and double "thumbs up" for a loved-it rating. This show requires a 3 thumbs down for "I freaking hated this".
I made it through 1.5 episodes of season one. How Netflix thought this boring nonsense was worthy of three seasons is beyond comprehension. There are no likeable characters. Not one. Not even a cute dog. I like Sam Shepard, but his character evokes no emotion. I don't care what happens to him. Sissy just worries and whines, all 3 (living) siblings are unlikable and obnoxious. If they were my siblings, I wouldn't go home for their funerals.
I read through the reviews for the spoilers, hoping for something to look forward to, but the "reveal" is totally unworthy of wasting any more time. I'm out. All you folks rating this 8, 9, 10...wth were you watching?
On the Basis of Sex (2018)
Couldn't finish this.
Felicity Jones is majorly miscast. I can't take her seriously because I can't see past her teeth. I tried in vain to take her seriously, to "see" her as RBG, but I can't get past her.
RBG's story is too important to be reduced to "movie of the week" gloss and trivialities.
Felicity Jones is majorly miscast. I can't take her seriously because I can't see past her teeth. I tried in vain to take her seriously, to "see" her as RBG, but I can't get past her.
RBG's story is too important to be reduced to "movie of the week" gloss and trivialities.
I feel like I'm watching Mad Men meet Ally McBeal.
Unfrosted (2024)
Total Sillieness
It's 2am, I can't sleep, landed on this. Figured it would put me to sleep. I don't like Jerry Seinfeld. I've never thought he was funny, just annoying. Not terribly fond of Melissa Mccarthy either, but she's less obnoxious here than usual. All that being said, I laughed my butt off at all of it. I got the jokes, I understood the innuendos. I grew up in the 60s. Pop-tarts were part of the fabric of my childhood. Those two little dumpster diving kids were hilarious. I'll never look at rice krispie treats the same way. Don Draper and Roger Sterling pitching pop-tarts with sex was brilliant. There may have been only brief, blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameos by so many well-known actors, but they were worth every second. I probably won't watch it again, but I had fun with it once. Now, time to see if I can sleep!
The Pay Day (2022)
Hideously Awful.
How did this crap even get made? Maybe I don't understand british humor, or slang, but that shouldn't be a requirement to watch a movie. Usually, with the aid of captions, I can suss out what the slang means even if I can't understand the accent. I managed to watch about 40 minutes of this before angrily shutting it off. Wooden lines being delivered by robotic actors. Stultifyingly boring. I'm sure there's a whisper of a plot in there somewhere but since it took 40 minutes for the macguffin flashy drive to make its appearance and disappearance, I couldn't believe that there was anything worthwhile coming down the pike. I doubt the script ran longer than 50 pages, as the one-line-at-a-time dialog from the 1st eight characters barely account for three typewritten pages. Boring. Lackluster. Waste of time. Made me wish I could punch both Jenn & George & stuff a sock in Simon Callow's posh mouth.
The Gentlemen (2024)
British humor is... different
Don't beat me up because I don't consider Guy Ritchie film royalty. If I think of him at all, I remember that he used to be married to Madonna, which doesn't earn him any brownie points either. All these 9 and 10 star reviews have me questioning if they were written by family and employees.
So. I have to watch this with captions on because I can't understand all the mumbled dialog, and still the British slang is taking me out of the film. The humor attempts are falling flat, and the music is loud, awful, and overpowering. I've almost made it through the 2nd episode but won't bother going further. The whole story is just too stupid. Might've worked as a standalone 2 hr movie, but 8 episodes of characters making really stupid decisions over and over is ridiculous.
The Anderson Tapes (1971)
-10... Horrible. Unwatchable.
14 minutes in, DNF. Honest to God, I don't know what is the worst part of this crapfest. The jarring robotic beep beep beep signifying some sort of technology was being used? SC's Scottish-Brooklynese accent? The prison therapy circle jerk? Then, because none of that was bad enough, dump Dyan Cannon into the pot and give it a good stir. To be honest, had I looked at the cast list first and seen her name, I would have immediately passed on this flick. I detest her voice, and too many people lied to her when they said she could act. I barely made it through the ridiculous moaning and groaning of fake s*x. Almost bailed at the commercial break, decided to wait a tad longer. Nope. Alan King as mafia boss & more of eardrum- rupturing beeping and I'm done.
Living with Yourself (2019)
Went downhill fast. REALLY fast.
There really aren't any spoilers to follow,
because if you finish the first episode, you already know everything you need to know. The next 6 episodes are filler, then there's the last one...
That last episode sucked 3 stars of what would have been a 5/10. The only reason I was going to give it a 5 in the first place was for Paul Rudd's efforts. I didn't like the actress playing the wife at all. Actually, there are no truly likeable characters at all. The spa guys were momentarily funny.
So much backtracking and point of view switches. The cellphones...how am I supposed to understand that? Wife calls 1 number, sometimes she gets Sad Miles? Sometimes she gets Clone Miles? Sad Miles isn't really dead but spa guys bury him anyway? I didn't understand the Jewish cell tower guy sending a half a pig, but I just this moment figured out the "half-ration" note (his story way back about the concentration camp), but still, a pig?? The graves all looking so new & orderly, easy to find, in a public park forest?
The stupid FDA goombahs should have been played by Melissa Mccarthy & her husband, but it still wouldn't have been funny, still would have been gross.
I'm so glad this is over. I will never want to re-watch it, and I totally don't understand all the reviwers rating this mess 9s and 10s and wishing for a 2nd season.
The People Across the Lake (1988)
Solid block of cheddar..But...GM in a wetsuit!
I knew going in it was going to be hokey. All the clichés were present in the synopsis. So, my biggest confusion centers around where in the hell is Tomahawk Lake supposed to be? I was raised in WI, so I'm familiar with how a normal Midwest accent sounds. Aside from the main family, pretty much everyone else sounds like Beverly Hillbillies meets Deliverance. Barry Corbin raised the bar on "over the top", good for chuckles. The music score is typical 80's TV cheesey synthesizer keyboard, a few strings added to tell us something spooky is about to happen. No spoilers here, you'll figure it out. But, yeah, Gerald McRaney in a wetsuit. Yum.
Meet the Blacks (2016)
Absolute trash. Zero stars.
How do I get one of those jobs where the movie producers & backers pay you to give 9s & 10s on Imdb?? This is total dreck. It's like a thesaurus for profanity. I get that it is/was intended to be a parody but it misses every mark. WHY is cussing up a blue streak supposed to be funny? I can cuss pretty artistically myself, but I use this skill in situations that call for it. These characters couldn't put a 10 word sentence together without 9 of them being a profanity. It's not funny. There is no acting skill required, just the ability to shriek and cuss louder than the crappy background soundtrack. Hard pass, 45 minutes was 40 too many.
The Magnificent Meyersons (2023)
Weird amalgamation of theology
**Minor spoilers**
Well, 36 minutes in, still trying to figure out what this movie is about, (Starz lists it as "comedy"). So far, we have a bench Rabbi and a priest, an angsty Wall Street type, a deaf realtor, an oncologist with a hypochondriac son, a tired wife who had an abortion without telling her husband that she was pregnant in the 1st place, and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone. No matter. Some of these people are members of the Meyerson family, the rest are peripheral. This is a very dialog-driven film. We've heard the characters verbalize their thoughts on Judaism, Christianity, atheism and the existence of hell and heaven. And yes, even whether cats go to heaven. I'm scratching my head, itching to sneak a peak at the "last chapter" so to speak, as I do when I'm on the fence about finishing an iffy book. And, now, enter the aliens. So, that's it for me. There are too many threads and I've lost interest in untangling them. Too freaking weird even for me.
The Flock (2007)
Unwatchable Crap
Claire Danes and her floppy annoying hair was my first aggravation. Gere's choppy dialog. Constant jump cuts and light flashes and weird over saturated colors. I spent the first 20 minutes trying to figure out what Gere's character was supposed to be, a cop? FBI? Parole officer? Still don't know. Which means, I don't know what Danes was supposed to be either. So the 2 of them are bouncing around, from office to car to diner to office to crime scene to wherever...Danes acting like a vapid cheerleader and Gere acting like he's guilty of something and angry about it. By the time I got to where they're standing on opposite sides of a railway crossing with a train passing between them, my eyes hurt. I quit. I have no idea what this movie was about other than that a girl was kidnapped & Gere is haunted by a previous kidnapping. And I don't care. This mess isn't fit to watch.
Liebes Kind (2023)
Wow.
I've been pissed at Netflix lately, for so much crappy programming. This, though, knocked it out of the park. There were a couple minor plot holes, but it didn't detract enough to bother me. I didn't see the bad guy coming. He totally snuck past me, because his initial entrance into the storyline barely lasted 3 seconds. This was a well written story, very little fluff to distract the viewer. While the German-to-English dubbing left a bit to be desired, it doesn't distract enough to take the viewer out of the story. Hannah's voice didn't quite fit the character. All in all, I binged the whole 6 episodes at once. It was like a book you can't put down and finish at 4am, knowing you have to get up in a couple hours to get ready for work. It was spooky, it was sad, it was horrifying and all of the characters worked. I think there will be some viewers who don't make it past the first episode and blow it off as boring because there's no superficial soundtrack, no car chases, no outrageous fight scenes. There are explosions, but they make sense. And in the end, if you're like me, you give a cheer of "wellll, alrighty then!" and sit back, thoroughly satisfied.
Who Is Erin Carter? (2023)
Pretty location scenery
But that's it. Watched all of 1st episode, thinking nah, it can't continue to be THAT ridiculous, but yeah, it is. I put another 10 minutes into the 2nd episode and called it quits. So. Lead actress is Swedish born, doing an over-the-top posh British accent. The detective buddy sounds Irish rather than Spanish. The little girl can't act, mostly makes obnoxious faces. True, it's probably her character treatment, but she's not likeable or sympathetic at all.
Tiny spoiler.....but only if you haven't made it to episode 2 yet....
She shoots a store robber in episode one, after beating the crap out of him. Then we finish episode 1 with her being confronted by someone out of her past, she goes all Wolverine on her, and it doesn't end well. And is witnessed by her hubby's best buddy, the detective...who, rather than doing his job, helps dispose of the evidence and says since I did you a solid, you're going to have to help me with a little problem I'm having. Episode 2 then starts with nobody mentioning that "something bad happened in the classroom & that's why it's blocked off with crime scene tape". Then, we scootch on home to a bbq, where Detective Buddy reminds her he requires her help with a problem. Kid sees her pulling a weapon out of a hiding spot & is willing to believe mommy's "it's not a real gun" story. And that's where I quit.
Why the hell am I still paying for Netflix? 2 stars is generous.
Jesus Revolution (2023)
I have mixed feelings about this film.
On the entertainment hand, I found the movie to be pretty well cast and scripted, a "feel good" movie with a few tugged heartstrings. Though the actors' ages jibe poorly with the actual characters' ages at the time of the events pictured, the cast was still pretty believable. The actor portraying Lonnie was too old for the character but it was a minor distraction.
On the factual side (since the movie identifies as documentarial in nature), I feel like the movie whitewashed its main characters into a ministry of "all are welcome, open heart, open doors" when that isn't quite true. Evangelical Pentacostal at the root, faith-healing, speaking in tongues, anti LGBTQ, association with Billy Graham Crusades, Southern Baptist Convention and some pretty right-leaning messages broadcast via mega churches and the Trinity Broadcasting Station leave me convinced, as usual, that the real reason churches in general continue to proliferate is to generate wealth for a few at the top of the pyramid and keep the sheep in the audience hypnotized by lulling messages.
Do some research on Chuck Smith, Lonnie Frisbee, and Greg Laurie, as well as Harvest Christian Fellowship and Harvest Crusades. This movie leaves a lot out of the real history of Chuck & the kids.
Watchable, but with a spoonful of salt.
*For the record, I'm an old white lady who walked away from a Pentacostal church as a teenager and, after decades of searching for a spiritual home, find myself happily identifying as agnostic. Go ahead and come at me, I'm too old to give a crap.
Blood & Gold (2023)
Wow...this is awful.
MAYBE if I understood German and could watch it without American accented English audio. MAYBE if the dubbing from German to English had been done by actual English speaking German actors so I could keep my head in the story. The dubbing just doesn't work & is too distracting. Additionally, it's as if the dubbing actors were reading off a script without any knowledge at all of the film. They're just delivering lines without the correct emotion for the scene. This is so bad. I figure any review scored over a 5 is phony. Quentin Tarantino ought to be pissed at all the folks mentioning his name in any comparison to this mess. 30 minutes and I'm out. This is so awful it's not even funny.
18½ (2021)
I feel cheated and slightly dirty.
The premise sounded interesting, "what if...??"
Started slow, had some really unnecessary characters, probably just to fill time. I was annoyed and grossed out by the whole bossa nova - dinner scene & had to fast-forward through most of it. Blechhh! Surely the writer could have come up with a better way to insert these characters into the storyline? Ugh. So I got to the end, and I was even madder. I had to rewind because another reviewer mentioned the play/record button. I was then able to listen to the "recording" and ignore the fight scene, then the ending made slightly more sense, but still.....soooo many plot holes. I'm pi$$ed off and feel cheated out an ending that would have worked. The wonderbread arc was totally ridiculous. I really wish I hadn't seen this. Can't recommend it. Skip it. I promise, you're going to wish you had if you watch it anyway. Don't say you weren't warned.
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story (2023)
Worth the wait.
Shondaland knocked it out of the park with Queen Charlotte. I binged all 6 episodes today and it was great fun. The costumes were delicious, the characters well fleshed out. Charlotte's backstory makes her more human, explains her iron maiden depiction of Season 1/Bridgerton easier to understand. (Caveat:
season 2 I didn't care for, didn't even finish). Now, just for fun, I might have to go back and watch it again. Every once in awhile I got confused by the quick flashbacks & bouncing back & forth between young Charlotte and older Charlotte, which is why I gave this an 8 instead of a 9. Lady Danbury is, once again, my favorite character. She's devious, but humanized. She's just taking care of business. And George...well, he's just George. Thankfully, Charlotte didn't go over the wall.
The Wedding Ringer (2015)
I didn't want to like this
I was just killing time & landed on this. It's rude, crude, and socially unacceptable, and pretty funny. I really don't usually care for Kevin Hart, because his rat-a-tat-tat machine gun humor delivery exhausts me. In this flick, it works. Would've loved to have had more of Cloris, but her two lines were hilariously delivered. The football game was too funny. There's something in this movie to offend everyone. Even Don Johnson gets a 3 second blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo while the guys are faking their buddy moments & taking pics. The last names of the groomsmen being sport super heroes was cute, as were the "real things" playing the old football guys. I giggled plenty.
And, on a side note, all you folks using the word 'cringe' incorrectly just to sound cool? Quit. Doing. That. It just sounds really ignorant.
Who Killed Santa? A Murderville Murder Mystery (2022)
12 minutes...
And 11 seconds. That's all that I could stand of this trash. Not sure what I was hoping for, I should have known better. Jason Bateman only has one character, as another reviewer pointed out, and that is dead-pan Jason Bateman. Then I heard Will Arnett speak. As usual, I had confused his name with Will Forte, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish it. Maybe if the plot had killed him off immediately instead of Santa, it might have been okay. No such luck. That obnoxious voice...is it his real voice? It always sounds so incredibly, loudly fake & forced, like he came up with it for a comedy sketch and now thinks he has to use it for every character. I'll have to scout around for the British version. It HAS to be better than this.
Lupin (2021)
Watch it with the English subtitles
Definitely skip the French-to-English dubbing. The actors hired to dub the English are horribly miscast, sound like they are high school students recording a cold table-read. I had to switch to subtitles 15 minutes in, thinking if there wasn't some improvement once I could get the voice tones of the individual actors I'd have to quit watching. I wanted to at least watch a full episode before deciding whether to continue.
As it stands now, 1 full episode in, the story feels a little Pink Panther-ish, a little Saint-ish, a little Now You See Me-ish. There's a few too many balls in the air, maybe one more episode will help me decide.
Let No Man Write My Epitaph (1960)
Lackluster Cheesieness
Shelly Winters over emotes her usual whiny character, James Darren has no character presence at all. Dame Ella & Mr. Ives must've needed the money. One more "baby" out of Mr. Real Corinthian Leather and I'd have thrown something at the screen to shut him up. I guess this is how gritty poverty was imagined by Hollywood in 1960.
As there are so few reviews and nothing below 6 (until my 3, which is really for no good reason other than it killed some time before a better movie started) the current average rating of 7 is way too high for this movie. Why were 60's films so awful? So unless you need to waste 2 hours, pass this one by; it's seriously overrated.
Rat Race (2001)
I've seen this so many times...
...that I can recite almost all of the dialog, but haven't seen it in about 10 years. Finally figured out how to connect my DVD player to my smart TV & voila, Rat Race! I still live this stupid, funny flick. Fave scenes are the airport tower "failure ", the ex-boyfriend revenge scenes, and the Smashmouth concert ending. Too many fun scenes, the whole thing is a funny mess. Prairie dogging...hahaha! Ewwww. If you've had a crappy day, there's enough ha-ha's to forget all about it.
Mr. Arkadin (1955)
Really awful.
I've read that there are an unknown number of versions of this film. 3, maybe 4, and apparently it's difficult to know which version you've actually watched. Well, the one I'm watching is called Confidential Report, on TCM. If any of the other versions are at all similar to this one, then they all suck. The dialog, the dubbing, the bad wigs and worse accents. The worst has to be Robert Arden. I can't tell if he's personally a horrible actor, or if Welles told him to be so incredibly obnoxious and use that grating voice. So much scene chewing that it feels like the main cast was having a contest. Can't for the life of me figure out why I even tried to watch this ego-stroking Wellesian crapfest.
Leave No Trace (2018)
Ignore the haters.
This was superb. I'm not a fan of Ben Foster, but I think he was perfectly cast here. The dad was kind & devoted, loving, but misguided, doing what he thought was best for his daughter but forgetting that she wasn't supposed to be fighting his demons. Being a loner myself, that RV camp & its occupants looked like heaven to me. Couple of plot holes, didn't detract from the story enough to worry me. I'd bypassed this a couple times, glad I watched it. Y'all busting on the dad's mental health have obviously never walked in a veteran's boots, and it shows in your cruel comments. Shame on you.
Jack Reacher (2012)
Cruise is a huge mis-cast
Lee Childs sold out when he allowed Cruise to abscond with the Jack Reacher character so beloved by all of us fans of the books. I categorically refuse to see these films. Joe Mangeniello would have been better cast as Jack. Height, brawn, voice just deep enough to match what's in my head when I read the novels. I've seen the trailer & that's all I care to see, wish I could un-see it. Lee, you screwed up big time.