Tromafreak

Trash cinema comes in many forms. Funny, shocking, confusing, offensive, scary. And then there's Gummo, which, I guess, is a mixture of all that, and also, just plain pointless. But hey. Not all movies need a point to be entertaining, or to gain a cult following. A fact which makes writer/director, Harmony Korine a very lucky man. Because, even after watching his masterpiece (?), I'm still not convinced this guy has all that much talent. But he does have some pretty unique stuff going on in his head. And above all, that's what Gummo is. Whether it's a good movie or not is debatable, but let's just go with unique at the moment.

About a town full of backwards, hateful dicks who have simply given up on ever being anything. A bad tornado hit this town some years ago, and things were seemingly never fully restored. Ignorant, aimless and bored, these hateful dicks love killing and torturing cats, running their mouths about nothing, getting it on with retards and just hanging around and being trash. Some of them get in fights with chairs. Some of them even win. Hell, some of them enjoy eating spaghetti whilst getting their hair washed. But I don't think any of them are very happy people. And they'd probably prefer to live somewhere else, but are too lazy and stupid to take the steps to do so.

The movie seems to revolve mostly around some ugly little pussy kid who's probably an ass hole, yet, we don't get very many examples of this. The kid pumps iron, using handfuls of spoons, and apparently needs his mother to bath him. There's also some other little weirdo kid, wearing a pink bunny hat, and wandering around in his own little world. I'm not sure what he symbolizes, if anything, but like everyone else, he's just there, existing. Despite everything I've said so far in this paragraph, There's something very real about this movie. And surreal at the same time. It almost comes off as some kind of bleak documentary about a small town full of trash, where a bunch of stuff happens.

As a lifelong cat lover, I find it hard to watch a cat get hurt or killed, even in a movie. But strangely, I see the treatment of felines in Gummo as somewhat fitting for the characters, as they just naturally feel the need to bully and destroy the only thing they see as beneath them. Adding to this perfect portrayal of hateful, pathetic trash.

After despising the abomination that is Spring Breakers, I thought I'd give Harmony Korine one more chance to prove himself not a talentless POS. And much to my surprise, I'm glad I did. I think I actually get Gummo, and even have an appreciation for it. However, I could easily see someone hating this as much as I hated the obnoxious Spring Breakers, because one thing Gummo (and Spring Breakers as well) is not is a likable movie. Seemingly no story, with just a bunch of random scenes put together, showcasing these hopeless citizens and their attempts at killing time and, I guess, having fun. But if you look a little closer, it's clear that these people's behavior tells the story. loud and clear. And it's not a pretty one. Of course, this is not the most entertaining movie I've ever seen, but I'll give Korine one thing. Gummo is far more entertaining than it should be. 6/10

All good things must come to an end. And in 1972, Herschell Gordon Lewis, the creator of the gore film, and innovator of graphic violence in cinema, had his last hurrah. Well, at least his last one for a very, very long time. More on that, later, but unaware to Lewis at the time, this would be it for his active film career. And despite my opinions on this film, I have to admit, the old man went out with a bang. The Gore Gore Girls is a first in several different areas. This is Herschell's first gore film which has profanity other than a "damn" here and there, as well as the first to show nudity, and acknowledge sexuality. An obvious change in the times. Also, this was the first and last film Herschell Lewis submitted to the MPAA for a rating. And for his trouble, he was given a big, fat X, which he could have applied himself. But anyway. Yeah. Sounds like something I would really dig, but it's just not. In fact, it leaves quite the bad taste in my mouth.

Herschell's "This is a business, not art" outlook on directing is heard loud and clear throughout the entirety of this obnoxious, substance-lacking, cheese-fest. None of his movies are meant for superior brains. But this one especially seems like it's intended for only the most dimwitted of trash lovers. A bit of a precursor, if not inspiration for the modern Troma film. And of course, a pretty simple story. Strippers at a sleazy club have been getting slaughtered by a maniac at an alarming rate. A hot reporter enlists the help of private eye, Abraham Gentry, who is supposedly good enough to be a total douche bag at all times and get away with it. Uninterested and unimpressed with pretty much everything but himself, and only concerned with getting paid, the douche bag tries losing her several times. Even going so far as to get her wasted so she'll *beep* off, but this tenacious lady wants some of that, and hopes to help in this investigation if at all possible. Meanwhile, we are treated to some rather inventive murders, one of which includes the killer snipping off the tips of a woman's nipples, and filling up 2 glasses with milk. One of which comes out chocolaty. Of course it does...

While I consider this to be Herschell Gordon Lewis' most overrated (gore) film, I can understand why so many considers this the ultimate in HGL gore. Sure, it's got a lot of that. And it's a little harsher than usual, and there's a noticeable bit of puns, toilet humor and a self awareness not present in Herschell's earlier gore epics. Sounds great. It really does, but something about this movie just rubs me the wrong way. The acting, I can of course handle. But the dialogue seems to have been written by a blithering idiot, and the characters, as well as the actors themselves, were far from likable. Especially that main character, Abraham Gentry. A smart ass dick smoker with a stupid one liner waiting every 10 seconds. A character seemingly meant to be a smooth, pimp daddy who is far too bad ass to give this hot chick the time of day. Whoever wrote this garbage obviously didn't realize they were making this guy out to be more of a homo than anything else. But such stupidity does add a couple of "so bad it's good" cool points. That, along with the unusually painful looking kills, make this one far from unwatchable.

It's too bad HGL decided to take a 30 year break after getting into the advertising business. Yet, come the 80's, Herschell's old gore films would gain a new level of notoriety from a new generation, as well as from the old one, which made him the legend he is today. With the help of Mike Vraney and Something weird Video, Herschell's massive catalog would finally get the long overdue VHS (and eventually DVD/Blu-ray) releases they deserved. A preservation project the late, great Vraney would do for the memories of many great, and not so great directors of forgotten old school B-movies. The films of Herschell Gordon Lewis would become the crown jewels of Something weird. And in 2002, Herschell went on to make his first jewel in 30 years, with the long awaited sequel to Blood Feast. Blood Feast 2 All You Can Eat. A masterpiece I would much rather remember him for. And he's made another one since then, and has another one on the way. Good 'ol H.G. may be older than dirt, and he's made a lot of terrible movies, but it feels so good to have him back! 4/10

Film adaptations of TV shows rarely work. And vice versa. It's just two different worlds of mainstream entertainment which have their own separate formulas. But to attempt a big screen version of a soap opera, in my humble opinion, is usually a lost cause. Dan Curtis, creator of the popular Gothic horror soap, Dark Shadows, attempted a film adaptation a year earlier, with House Of Dark Shadows. A retelling of the original storyline of Vampire, Barnabas Collins. The show's most popular character. A good movie. A great movie, some may say. But does it really do the show, and more specifically, that storyline, justice? Not really. It's too many episodes to cover, and to anyone who is familiar with the show, the movie should seem very rushed in comparison. Like I said. A good movie. But it's flaws are there, and they're obvious, but a lot of them couldn't be helped. Fast forward a year later. Dark Shadows has been cancelled. But the movie was a hit. And I think we all know by now what happens any time a Horror film gains even a glimmer of popularity.

With the constant stress of the show no longer holding him back, Dan Curtis gathers up as many DS cast members he can and makes plans for yet another movie. Since the first one centered on Barnabas, it's only common sense that this new movie would revolve around the second most popular character, Quentin Collins. Although, Quentin's story would not be a recreation of anything. Merely a Dark Shadowsy story that might remind one of several of the show's story lines. I tend to think this was the right decision as it eliminates the possibility of the movie having to be molded after a series of events it couldn't possibly live up to.

Filmed in the same eerie old mansion as House. This was a fine choice for location, but it ain't Collinwood, but whatever. It isn't clear as to whether or not the events of the first movie actually happened from this movie's point-of-view, or if this is a stand alone story, but Collinwood is currently abandoned, which makes me think it is acknowledged. Quentin Collins, and his wife, Tracy, have inherited Collinwood and are on their way to Collinsport, Maine to collect and to live a life of luxury. And Quentin, being the painter, is looking forward to much inspiration amongst the beautifully dreary scenery. Before the couple is even settled in, the first glimpse of weirdness comes from the housekeeper. Or whatever she is. Just some person who takes care of stuff, I guess. Grayson Hall plays Carlotta Drake, who seems to know a bit much about this house, and is slightly too invested in how things go. Also, Quentin is being plagued by nightmares. Reliving memories that aren't his own. Or are they? Quentin is remembering things that happened to a man named Charles Collins, who lived at Collinwood over 150 years ago.

Charles was married to Laura Collins, but fooled around with his brother Gabriel's wife, Angelique. A witch. We witness the events which led to Angelique's hanging by a witch hunting Reverend, as well as Charles' own demise at the hands of his brother. The more Quentin has these dreams, the less he seems like Quentin. He becomes cold, distant and temperamental. He attacks and berates Tracy without provocation. We find out the ghost of Angelique is involved. She wants Quentin to be Charles, and she wants Tracy gone. This may not be the same Angelique from the show, but anyone familiar knows what Angelique wants, Angelique gets.

While Night Of Dark Shadows may not have the same problems as the first movie, that doesn't mean it doesn't have its own problems. One big problem that not only killed this movie, but the chances for a third one, is the fact that a whopping 45 minutes was ordered to be cut. Still an hour an a half long even with the missing scenes, the film was stripped of many conversations and situations which gave the film much more of a point. as well as the characters depth. Still eerie, haunting, atmosphereic and creepy, but something is clearly missing from this movie. Something about it is so empty, so lonely. As if it's in need of an extra main character. No. It's merely missing 45 minutes of story. That's all. Still very much worthwhile for a Dark Shadows fan or a fan of stuff like Burnt Offerings. An absolutely gorgeous score by Robert Cobert, which is what really saves this one for me. As I said, there was to be a third Dark Shadows movie, but after dealing with the frustration of this one, and probably a growing boredom with the world of Dark Shadows in general, Dan Curtis decided to move on to non- Dark Shadowsy projects. As with the show, fans will always be forced ask the "what if" questions about this movie. That is, as long as the film in its entirety is without release. It's not perfect by any means, but for the time being, Dan Curtis' final chapter in the Dark Shadows story will have to do. 7/10