- Blaine: Is it just me, or am I the only one who can't seem to find someone special. I beg the question: Am I the only gay man who's looking for more than what's behind the zipper? Why, in an ocean of beautiful men, do I feel like I'm alone at sea?
- Ernie: Listen: writers - when they're alone, they're prophetic; when they're with people, they're pathetic. They're just too in their heads.
- [Blaine laments that Xander slept with Cameron under the mistaken impression that he was Blaine]
- Michelle: As far as Xander's concerned, he didn't do anything wrong. He slept with you - well, I mean "Blaine" - and you can't blame him for that.
- Blaine: Nope, I can't, but I can't be happy about it. Christ! I just hope I wasn't any good!
- Ernie: I knew it was just a matter of time before you walked out and left me alone here living my dreary life. You know, looks fading, withering away on the vine, everyday a step closer to the grave.
- Ernie: [knocking on Xander's door] Xander?
- Xander: [to Blaine on the phone] Hang on.
- Xander: [calling to Ernie] What's up?
- Ernie: Oh, I think we all know the answer to that question.
- Xander: Okay, let me rephrase it: What can I help you with?
- Ernie: Oh, just tell the hottie, that if he's tired of youth, then experience is just down the hall and past the credenza.
- Xander: Mm-hm. Will do.
- Xander: [seeing Ernie's tears] Did you miss the fact that this is a horror film and they all got slaughtered by a homicidal maniac?
- Ernie: Oh, I don't know. It's just the irony of it, you know? Don't you see that it's the tragic end of youth and beauty that's caused by the ugliness and bitterness of an empty heart. Hey, it's a god-damn masterpiece.
- Xander: Well, now that you mention it...
- Ernie: Yeah, it's like Sweeney Todd without the music... or Angela.
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