User reviews

I read some reviews before watching this and I saw there were people liking it and people really hating it. So I thought it is a misunderstood film, something disguised as something else and that has some deep or comedic meaning. I was wrong. It is simply a really bad movie. The only reason you might like it is for some really short and not very explicit nun rape or lesbian scenes. Yes, you read that right: some really ugly nuns are getting raped or are doing it with somebody. Occasionally they shoot people. All this with the same ridiculous music in the background. And I really do not care they are nuns one way or the other.

Conclusion: It is not something like a Rodriguez film, it is not posing as a terrible film, it is just what it seems: a really bad movie. In the fine tradition of recyclical "creativity", it is just a clone of sexploitation films in the 60-70's. So avoid this.

B) If you are hoping the same level of entertainment as a Rodriguez/Tarantino film, than this is not it. A) It's not the worst film I've seen, but big screen no-go.

It's some amount of crazy, but not enough to be entertaining. Crazy enough to be "Ewwww... and?", but not enough to go "Ewwww... Ohh!?!?!?!". In essence the film lacks the irony in the story.

This film is of the same genre as Kill Bill, Sin City, Gringhouse and Machete. However, this is one of the worst representatives of that genre. It's most comparable to Machete, but the storyline is not augmented by the irony and there is nothing to hook you onto in the story. The script is dragged out. The story could be presented in a 30 minute film. It's a good story for a depressing documentary, not a action, violence, blood and gore film.

This is not about some clergy members being represented corrupt. This is not about drugs. This is not about violence. It's just a shooter with a lot of vengeance, poor action scenes and a too thin layer of the story sprinkled around.

Full of enough eye candy to make any adolescent boy's (or girl's) sex drive go full throttle, the film finds a drug cartel run by a sinister church who see fit to reducing their ordained sisterhood to nothing more than a nudist colony of cheap labor chemists. As the story opens we are introduced to some of the main players in a dope exchange gone horribly wrong. The lone (innocent) survivor is our heroine, Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega), who is subsequently thrown into forced prostitution by the bikers and drugged out of her mind as she "services" the customers.

As fate would have it, however, a kind-hearted doctor (I use that term loosely) named Mr. Foo (Maxie J. Santillan Jr.) releases Sarah from her bondage and flushes out all the drugs from her system. Upon awakening, Sister Sarah reveals that she has received the "word of God" which has entrusted her with dishing out some divine justice on those who did her wrong. Foo then proceeds to arm are with a pair of silver pistols to help her on her mission only to have Sarah put a bullet through his noggin (not cool, man). Thus begins our heroine's journey of hate-fueled revenge served cold and hard with the most translucent metaphor for phallic aggression a lesbian nun can holster.

Though short lived, Mr. Foo is a pretty cool character- equal parts Yoda and Tommy Chong, Foo exudes a hipster charm that helps balance the darker elements of the story. Unfortunately, what follows after his demise is bleak mess of boobs and talking (plus more boobs), with very little scenes of heavenly justice doled out and nowhere did I ever really see any "big guns" (with great exception to scary ass Xango Henry as Kickstand, a Dulé Hill (Psych) look-a-like). When the biggest threat of a film is a black man's genitals as he violates elderly nuns, there's not much else that needs to be said.

In the end, as much as I wanted to like a film with a name as cool as Nude Nuns with Guns it simply didn't push any one boundary far enough. In fact, I couldn't help but think that this was really lost footage from Machete, given the overall borderland motif and bad-ass, Mexican bikers. It even goes so far as to riff on Rodriguez's Planet Terror theme from the Rodriguez/Tarantino Grindhouse double feature. Yes, there are nuns and they're (generally) nude. Yes, there's softcore rape and bullets to the head. However, a lack of any real action will likely see you walking away limp from this peep show long before the credits ever role.

Of course not.

This is on my top three list of the worst films I've ever seen, and I've seen many, many B and C films. Hell, even "Plan 9 from outer space" is a great film compared to this.

The acting is horrible, so is the script, the scenery, the sound, the editing.. You get the picture.

The films goal is only to show as many naked women as possible, preferably having se x with each other. Plus a bunch of perfect head shots. Yes - all shots are to the head, pretty much no exception.

My eyes and ears started bleeding a little, and a kitten died because I watched this. My life will never be the same.

Though I'm not a believer - I'm sorry God. /:

I wanted to like this one a lot more. But there are some glaring problems that keep it from scoring any higher for me.

First the only people I felt were doing anything with their characters were the leads. Which isn't completely bad, at least they cast people who could act some in the leads.

Lighting and sound really have some horrifically bad moments in the film. Characters talking and you couldn't hear them. And the night scenes with a very nice Chevelle SS 396 where you could only see headlights.

A lot of scenes where you could almost hear the director thinking "yeah, I guess that's okay, but you know what, I think we really need all the girls to be naked and rubbing their boobies over everyone on the set." Don't get me wrong, I like naked girls, but there is a point of diminishing returns when almost Every... Single... Scene... in the film is accessorized by boobies.

There are some very good decisions made that were definite pluses to the film. The love story, while expected, did add to the story and was not completely gratuitous. David Castro's villain has most of the best lines, and several times comes dangerously close to being sympathetic. Asun Ortega does crazy very well, and the 'dress whites' as seen in the poster for the film really added to the moment.

This is not a date movie, shoot it's not a mixed company movie in any manner. But for a guilty pleasure movie to watch when you are home alone, you could do worse.

While the introduction somewhat reminds me of a Tarantino movie that is just the first five minutes. Soon you get to realize that this could not be farther away from a Tarantino movie. The movie has a terribly bad plot and even worse acting. I can't mention one actor that does a good job in this movie. Stay away from this crap. You're better off watching "The Price is right"! The dialogue is obvious and there is no surprises at all and definitely no "wow"-moments. We saw 30 minutes and were so disappointed that we just shut it off. Not to mention the editing. I haven't seen a worse editing in years and I have seen a lot of bad movies in my days, but this takes it all! Please don't ruin yours and your family's night. Go out for a walk, take a long bath. Go to the hairdresser. Even go to the dentist and have a root canal done. Even that is more entertaining than this movie was!

Bad acting, bad camera work, bad effects, everything about this is amateur, it's about the equivalent of a bad porn film caliber acting with some soft porn. I like Tarantino films and I enjoyed Rodriguez's 'Machete' but guys, don't waste your time on this garbage, it's the biggest load of low budget crap you will ever see in your entire life! Yea, its that bad, the reality is Nude Nuns with Big Guns is so poorly done it truly deserves only 1/10, perhaps someone at IMDb HQ can figure out a way or something besides awarding stars to rate movies, may I suggest we begin here with awarding a gigantic piece of turd. A total disaster!! Consider yourself warned.

It's been a while since I could forgo the details of a film's plot and just reiterate the title for reference. But that is exactly the shortcut I could take with Nude Nuns with Big Guns. The film, as directed by Joseph Guzman is about, well, nude nuns with big guns. More specifically, it follows Sister Sarah (Asun Ortega) who after becoming a nun is drugged and forced into a world of crime by the corrupt priests and padres of the clergy.

But after a near fatal encounter, Sister Sarah receives a message from God, one that tells her to kill every last one of those that exploit drugs, the church or any of the innocent workers of the clergy. Lucky for us, a chance encounter leaves Sister Sarah with a big gun, one big enough to help her do God's work in the most violent and exploitive ways possible. As Sarah sets off to religiously 'off' anyone that looks at her funny, the church hires a bike gang called 'Los Muertos' to track down Sister Sarah and stop her before she brings down the entire drug running operation.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns is undeniably 70's sexploitation brought to us with 2010 orchestrated violence. There are equal parts nudity and violence and there is plenty of each to keep audiences grinning from ear to ear with each new character introduction. Just about every female character but one bares her breasts for the film and I, for one, am a better man because of it. Sister Sarah in particular has no qualms about doing scenes involving full nudity between all her gunslinging and brain blasting. Priests, nuns, bikers, lesbians…no one is safe once this sister straps herself with a sizeable firearm.

There is a semblance of a story in Nude Nuns with Big Guns, but the plot goes in usual directions ensuring that what it lacks in originality as a revenge flick it makes back up in sheer audacious and gratuitous nudity and violence.

Asun Ortega is competent (and evidently confident) in the lead role and everyone involved in the production hams up their part with just enough cheese and lack of seriousness that the film actually works as a watchable piece of exploitation.

Director Joseph Guzman takes a major step forward from his 2009 debut in Run! Bitch Run! While both Run and Nuns are of the same genre that Robert Rodriguez tried to capture with 2010's Machete, Guzman has shown a maturity with both the camera and with the promotion of lurid subject matters.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns isn't for everyone, but it is for everyone that reads the title of the film before putting it into the DVD player or downloading through VOD. It is guaranteed to entertain while titillating and it proves that exploitation films are alive and can work given the right exposure and attention.

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The Mexican cartel have stooped to a new low. They are now resorting to kidnapping people and forcing them into b grade soft porn flicks.

Please give generously to stop this form of human trafficking.

On the lighter side of things, it is a difficult movie to watch. At least everyone had a turn at speaking some lines which would be a plus for any actor. The downside would be the level of flesh you would have to reveal in order to get those lines. You'd be working pretty hard to keep your clothes on in this flick. Sympathy goes out to the pizza boy who had the unfortunate luck to make a delivery to the set and forced to work as evil Hench men number 6 for the extra tip.

'Nude Nuns With Big Guns' is the best film title that Lloyd Kaufman never came up with, and sells director Joseph Guzman's movie in true exploitation style (although a more accurate title would be 'Ugly Nude Nuns, A Couple Of Whom Have Fairly Big Guns', but which is obviously less appealing and doesn't trip off the tongue quite so easily).

'Nude Nuns' is, if you hadn't already guessed, yet another faux grind-house pic in the tradition of QT's 'Death Proof', Robert Rodriguez's 'Machete', the Rutger Hauer flick 'Hobo With a Shotgun', and Guzman's own 'Run! Bitch Run!', loving tributes that attempt to emulate the gritty style and outrageous content of sleazy low-budget cult classics from the politically-incorrect 70s and early 80s.

Unfortunately, as far as I am concerned, very few of these homages have been completely successful at recreating that authentic grind-house experience, the films too slick or too deliberate in their execution to be wholly convincing; sadly Nude Nuns is no exception, although I have to admire Guzman for such a bold attempt.

Being a genuine low-budget production, this is able to go places that many larger productions wouldn't dare, offering far more in terms of sleaze than any of QT's films (while mercilessly mocking the Catholic church), with an emphasis on rape that is quite staggering; however, despite this undeniably gutsy approach, the film still feels too self-consciously cool to be totally satisfying, the gimmicky editing being particularly grating (does EVERY character really need to be introduced with a freeze frame and caption?).

Of course, any film with (ugly) topless nuns aplenty, drug dealing priests, skeezy strippers with fake tits, rampant lesbianism, a rapist called 'Kick Stand' (on account of his big tool), and plenty of violence (including that exploitation classic—the severed penis!) is worth a watch in my book—just don't expect it to be as awesome as the title suggests.

I do not recall seeing a movie that was worse than this one. 1 hour and 22 minutes of utter crap. I it unbelievable how a group of people can say "hm, OK, we have this idea, it's kinda good, but we don't really have more than 5 minutes of story, so let's just have a lot of nudity involved" - or how on earth they did it. (..honestly, a porn movie with a plot is better than this - and that says it all!) I am WARNING YOU! Do NOT waste your time with this movie - it's the worst pile of crap I've seen. I would not recommend this to anyone - and I sincerely hope that after reading this review that you will decide not to waste your time with this movie.

It is often said that undeveloped characters in movies are as shallow as cardboard cut-outs. In this film they are not even cardboard. They are paper - in fact, they are newspaper, with print which can be read from the other side. The so-called 'Nude Nuns...' eroticism pales into insignificance when one thinks of the way Ken Russell portrayed it with infinitely more depth and shock. 'Nude Nuns...' has hardly any erotic titillation for today's audience, conceived as it is in 1970s attitudes - indeed the stealing of hackneyed effects, such as the 'spaghetti western' character description through text-on-screen over still-shot, is boring beyond words. Just who is this trash aimed at?

The title is unfortunately way funnier than the movie itself. I guess this also works as a trailer, but not as a whole. Acting and general "execution" (pun intended) are not up with the high concept idea of the movie. The main actress is anything but convincing, the villain on the other hand shows that he had the time of his life (actually some of his quote are really good, but I don't know who to credit for them: screenwriter or the actor himself).

All in all a rather weak "nunsploitation" movie (I think that's the correct term/genre), but then again it is in good company I guess. And as I stated above, some of the quotes are really funny, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

Well personally I am not a fan of the sexploitation movies, not the ones back from the day in the 60s-70s, not the ones from today. But still, being a movie enthusiast, I do try to spread out and watch a multitude of movies.

The story in "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" is about Sister Sarah who is abused by the clergy and subjected to drugs. Recovering from the drug abuse, Sister Sarah is visited by God, who gives her a sacred mission to purge all those who oppose him. Armed with God's will and some big guns, Sister Sarah sets out on a holy mission.

I will say that the story was entertaining enough, but at the same time it was so cheesy and full of plot holes that anything even resembling a coherent storyline fell through and scattered before the wind. This movie is not the type of movie you watch because it has a riveting story.

And it should be said that there is a great amount of nudity and lesbian scenes in this movie, after all it is a sexploitation movie. And there is also a lot of what could best be described as religious sacrilegious stuff (as regarding to Christianity) going on throughout the entire movie. There was something Tarantino and Rodriguez-like over this movie, but then at the same time it never really fully rose up to even reach those directors to the knees. But it was a great enough attempt to imitate their styles. Oddly enough, the movie here did pull that off well enough at its own pace and level. There was that old 70s feel to the movie, gritty and dirty.

As for the acting in the movie, well don't get your hopes up, as most of the people in the movie just put on average performances. However, it should be noted that David Castro (playing Chavo) actually did most of the lifting in the movie, carrying the movie a great way with his performance. The cast is not to blame though, as the script didn't allow the characters to be explored and fleshed out in any type of depth, making them appear as shallow characters, with only Chavo and Sister Sarah showing any kind of character development. The rest of the characters were like generic drones just standing in as fillers.

One thing that was great about the movie was the music, even though they had one particular song that was either used in a previous movie or just a blatant almost note by note copy of that particular song. I just can't remember where I heard it before, though I am partial to say either "Planet Terror" or "Machete". It was something from either a Tarantino or Rodriguez movie, of that I am almost certain.

As a plus, this movie had the most hilarious choking scene I have seen so far in a movie (where Sister Sarah is choking someone with rosary beads).

I am pretty sure that if you are fan of this particular genre of movies, sexploitation, then you might find "Nude Nuns with Big Guns" to be an interesting movie. Personally, I didn't find this movie to be overly interesting, as I am not a fan of this particular genre, but I stuck with it and watched it through to the end.

I understand why so many people haven't given this nunsploitation much points. It is really back to memorylane when exploitation and nudity was normal. If you watch them nowadays it looks mostly stupid but if you can dig exploitation then you will just love it. It is really where exploitation or even nunsploitation is all about, nuns getting undressed and having lesbo sex. And here they go full monty, pubic hair included. Their are biker gangs available, the corrupt priest. The music, the gratuitous nudity, the credits. the red stuff do flows but not that copious. So don't expect gory stuff, it's just all about nude nuns and revenge. In fact, the title says it all.

Judging by the reviews I've read so far, people have watched this movie called 'Nude Nuns With Big Guns' and been shocked to see nude nuns with big guns. It has nude nuns in it and shock horror they have bloody big guns. I thought for a movie with such a low budget it was brilliant. Do you want an overly complicated story line? Do you want million dollar special effects? Do you want a movie without nude nuns or big guns in it? Move along then. If you want to watch a movie with nude nuns shooting priests with big guns this the movie for you. Low budget B movie excellence. There's not much else to say. The story line is really simple. A nun is abused, drugged and forced to work as a prostitute, she escapes and gets her divine revenge by shooting everyone in sight. Great stuff!!

Pun intended.

This enjoyable thriller was on The Horror Channel and Radio Times didn't give a rating, nor even marked it up as a film, even! Their scantiest of synopsis forced me to look elsewhere and here on Amazon, a number of positive reviews had me checking it out. I had been expecting the worse and whilst not a classic, was certainly better than I anticipated.

Yes, the nuns are often completely starkers and occasionally get shot in the head in a similar state. There is an element of style over substance, with the warm-tinged colours of New Mexico and with an atmospheric, screechy, very Spanish sounding wailing guitar soundtrack, that does indeed come right from a Robert Rodriguez flick. The ultra violence, with quite a lot of bullet generated spatter, with slo-mo camera and emphasised music is very Tarantino. The quick cut to red/sepia/black and white and meaningful-looking panning in some scenes add interest and variety.

With a topless bar called The Cherry Popper and the film's title, you sort of know where you are with this one. Obviously one for adults only, for liberally minded heterosexual males (most likely) and for late nights, to unwind to and to not take very seriously.

The actual story is a bit of a mess but I didn't watch this film for its storytelling, nor its screenplay - and I doubt if many will. Having said that, it's not just a soft core nude fest, this is also a thriller, with horror overtones.

At the moment, I'm seriously thinking of buying the DVD, which is quite an endorsement as it means that I obviously want to see it again. I was a bit disappointed with the rather thin sounding, almost mono soundtrack and I'd be keen to know how this sounds on the DVD. I guess it would be the same.

Yes, the title is shamelessly attention grabbing, but for once that's OK, because there are indeed nude nuns, with big guns. But you get a whole decent movie as well, which certainly wasn't expected. Bonus!

The title alone sounded good, like those cheesy B-movies. When I saw it, it was disgusting, stupid, and unpleasant. It glorifies rape, murder, and sexism, which isn't a good thing. There's a scene where two criminals decide to sexually assault an innocent daughter & mother that are just getting gas while being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As I watch this disturbing scene, I thought to myself, "what's the point? THIS is entertainment?! It isn't". Whoever was involved with this movie should be ashamed of themselves.

There are much better films of this genre like Zombieland, Machete, From Dusk Till Dawn, and many more. Don't waste your time with this piece of garbage. The filmmakers obviously think that sexual assault and discrimination of women is okay in society, which makes me angry. I can't believe this movie got made. It needs to rot in hell with Satan and Hitler!

When our houseguest told me that this movie had scored a 3.4, I figured that he meant on a ten-point scale. Having sat through this PoS, I have to assume he was looking at a site that was using a 100-point scale.

Usually, when I see movies like this, I figure I'm gonna be watching a "so awful it's good" type of movie. No. This movie was merely awful.

While it did have the plus side of having lots of gratuitous nudity, I don't think even a fapping 13yo. boy would have been all that interested in it. Low rent.

With "Big Guns" in the title, I'd assumed that it would be a relatively fast-paced shoot-em-up. Not so much. To say that it was "deliberately paced" would be charitable. Even to say that it was "plodding" would be rather charitable. Now, it might have been the results of a heavy meal, beforehand, but this "action" movie damned near put us all to sleep. The only real action came in the last five minutes of the movie. It wasn't enough and it wasn't all that compelling.

This movie was bad, but not in the good way. It truly suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.