Quotes

The Lost City

Beth Hatten: I found a British guy in a cave! I thought he was a little boy, but he has a full beard!

Alan: We're gonna go *through* the jungle. We're gonna go *to* the airport and find a phone so you can have your cake and get what you want.
Loretta: And eat it too?
Alan: If that's what you want to do with your cake, fine. Let's go.
Loretta: That's the only thing you do with cake.
Alan: Not mine.
Loretta: I don't know what your people do, but my people eat it.
Alan: You... could... give it to someone as a gift.
Loretta: Those people are still going to eat the cake. Everybody eats cake.
Alan: What about the people who jump out of it? They don't eat it. When they're in it.

Alan: That was different than I had in my head. I just wanted to stop them.
Loretta: Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
Alan: No, I think that was us. I think we did it. We did the one the guy, right? That was like you know, we just wanted him to stop. But I think the other guy could've moved. I mean, really. So that one was on him.
Loretta: Even if we weren't here, that could've happened.
Alan: Why you gonna stop next to a cliff?
Loretta: But they were wearing helmets, so maybe they're...
Alan: But the rest of their body didn't have a helmet. So there'd just be a head.
Loretta: They were driving recklessly, right?
Alan: Don't be mean on a bike. Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
Loretta: I mean, perhaps they're fine.
Alan: Yeah, probably not, but that's okay. That's all right. You know, things happen. Let's go.

Loretta: Maybe I can shield you.
Alan: You are *not* shielding me. No, I should be shielding *you*.
Loretta: Why? Because I'm a woman? That's supremely sexist.
Alan: Well, look I don't think using women as human shields is exactly the change that Gloria Seinfield had in mind, do you?
Loretta: Gloria Steinem?
Alan: Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine. Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
Loretta: I'm a woman; I can't mansplain anything.
Alan: Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do.

Abigail Fairfax: There's a tunnel. This could lead to the tomb.
Alan: That's not person sized.
Abigail Fairfax: Ah, speak for yourself. Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide.
Loretta: More like a rock sphincter.
Alan: Or a troll anus.

Alan: All right, then. How would you write this?
Loretta: Okay. Warmed by the fragrant fire...
Alan: Mm-hmm. Starting strong.
Loretta: Mm-hmm. Lovemore's hands explored the... contoured scenery of Dash's body. Familiar terrain made new and exciting with every... with every scarlet rim.
Alan: And that didn't, uh... didn't turn her off?
Loretta: No. Because with every cardinal ridge, Lovemore discovered another letter in the language that only their bodies spoke.
Alan: And what were their bodies saying?
Loretta: Take me... take me, take me. How's that?
Alan: It was good.

Loretta: They will come for me.
Abigail Fairfax: Who, exactly? Your, your many cats?
Loretta: Oh, I don't have cats.
Abigail Fairfax: Somehow even more sad.
Loretta: I have a hamster, asshole!
Abigail Fairfax: You have a hamster's asshole?
Abigail Fairfax: No, there was a - there was a - a comma
[growls]
Abigail Fairfax: There was a comma - forget it. I bet your brother never had to kidnap anyone!

Abigail Fairfax: [while slow clapping and sarcastically urging his thugs to do likewise] Let's give a nice round of applause to Loretta! She earned it. A geriatric shut-in left you holding your dicks in the jungle.

Beth Hatten: I'm about to ask you something, and you better tell me the truth. Have you ever murdered anyone before?
Oscar: [scoffs awkwardly] No.
Beth Hatten: I don't know if I really buy it, but let me tell you something. If you ever think about murdering me, I promise, I *will* murder you first.
Oscar: My pleasure.
Beth Hatten: You are weird. Let's go.

Jack Trainer: We only use ten percent of our brains... I simply switched to another ten percent.

Allison: Let's go in the other room and talk about whichever war you lived through.

Beth Hatten: You need to send officials here.
[abruptly pointing on the map on her tablet]
Local Policeman: [playing cards] We're closed.
Beth Hatten: You're closed? You know, I've been trying to take a nap for a year and half?

Alan: [At 0:53:35, as he's boosting Loretta up the cliff] Don't flex. Just ride the head.

[last lines]
Julian: [mockingly as Alan loses his footing] Watch your step there...
[suddenly slips off the ledge and plunges bellowing into the misty abyss far below]

Alan: There was a woman running up to me and she's so happy and saying "Dash, Dash!" I thought: how can I be ashamed of something that makes people so happy? Do whatever you want, Loretta, but don't underestimate the fans of your work and describe it as schlock. It's not fair to them.

Loretta: [realizing that they need to scale a cliff] Do you see what I'm wearing? I'm in a glitter straight jacket.

Alan: [on being spotted] You look like a disco ball.
Alan: [causing Shades to be clotheslined by an overhanging branch] Go to sleep
[Shades falls from the branch onto the road]
Alan: ... asshole.

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