- Sox: How's it feel... death?
- Lillith: It feels like snow and stars.
- Gaia: Aw, that's pretty!
- Lillith: I remember once lying in the snow under a clear blanket of stars, there were so many stars... You couldn't comprehend what it was like. That vast un-knowable void. But now I understand it. I feel I'm a part of it, that infinite nothingness... I wanna strip. Who's on? Fuck it, I'm gonna dance.
- [first lines]
- Announcer: George W Bush has won his fourth consecutive term as president, taking Florida, which due to a glitch in the Jeb B voting terminals, tallied one single vote for President Bush and Vice President Schwarzenegger. Bush's presidency was unanimously declared legally binding by the Supreme Court as well as "totally cool" by Supreme Justice Jenna Bush who subsequently set in motion another Supreme Kegger. Following the landslide victory, a constitutional amendment banning public nudity was implemented. Shortly thereafter, President Bush dissolved Congress, claiming it was "cramping his style." American Troops continue to be strung thin due to the still raging wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Iran, Lebanon, Libya, Pakistan, Venezuela, France, Canada, and Alaska.
- Dr. Genet: The virus is based on the human X chromosome, so it stays more pure from woman to woman. But once you get a man in there, like everything else, it all goes to shit.
- Davis: I need to talk to you.
- Jessy: Make it quick.
- Davis: I need to know what the meaning of life is.
- Jessy: You're kidding.
- Davis: I know we're Christians, and what you're doing is a sin, but the intent is, well, Christ-like with you sacrificing yourself and all. So what are morals? Do the ends justify the means? But then again the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so... darn, I'm out of clichés.
- Kat: [getting back to her "Collected Works of Nietzsche" after becoming a zombie] This makes so much more sense now.
- Madame Blavatski: I see strippers dead. Then, I see her not so dead. I see severed heads and not so dead, too. But, I also see not so dead stripper strip! And she - how you say - knock them dead! Or, not so dead, as the case may be.
- Berengé: Your duty is to be an individual. The mind is a flame to be kindled - and a vessel to be filled.
- Cole: Put the gun down, Ian.
- Ian: How do I know that you're not one, huh?
- Cole: [takes the gun and points it at Ian] How do I know *you're* not one of them?
- Madame Blavatski: Because zombie doesn't piss in pants. You two! Boys with toys. Stop this foolish nonsense. We must work together.
- Ian: Let me put it to you this way: you are useless! You're dead to me. And I mean, real dead, not like dead dead. You got *nothing* - until you can do what those zombie bitches can do.
- Paco: [naming the bullets as he puts them in his gun] Pancho Villa. Montezuma. Cesar Chavez. Cinco de Mayo. Guacamole.
- Dr. Chushfeld: Major! Thank God you guys are here. It's bad in there.
- Maj. Camus: It better be. Right, Lieutenant?
- Lt. Ryker: We're the best of the best, sir! We drink napalm and piss fire!
- Maj. Camus: Semper-fi!
- Lt. Ryker: Hoo-rah!
- Maj. Camus: So what seems to be the problem, doc?
- Dr. Chushfeld: Believe it or not - zombies!
- Maj. Camus: Nothing like a good challenge.
- Lt. Ryker: We improvise and adapt, sir!
- Maj. Camus: We just stopped that thing, what was it called again, Lieutenant?
- Lt. Ryker: Armageddon, sir!
- Maj. Camus: That's the one. Lieutenant Ryker here killed Satan himself with a sharp stick. Good work soldier!
- Maj. Camus: So what do we have to do to take one of these zombies down, doc?
- Dr. Chushfeld: Well, what works for us is we've been surgically removing the medulla oblongata.
- [Camus cocks shotgun and blows a zombie's head off]
- Dr. Chushfeld: Or that.
- Ian: Tired of that same old lap dance? Well pull up an extra seat, young fellas, and experience Rhino's exclusive face dance! One of our lovely ladies will sit on your face and give birth to your head!
- Kat: [to Jessy] Kid, it takes more than desperation to get out there on that stage. You either got it or you don't, baby.
- Kat: [to Jessy] You have to be a warrior. A soldier. Fearless. Uninhibited. A stripper with a take-no-prisoners, raw, survival instinct.
- Paco: [after seeing that a bar patron has been killed] Holy shit! Hey, do I have to clean this mess up?
- Ian: [points to Paco's hand] You see this! You see this! What color is that?
- Paco: Cappuccino?
- Ian: Right. Meaning you're cleaning this entire fucking mess up. Can you handle that? Or, do I have to go find somebody else out in front of Home Depot?
- Madame Blavatski: But what about the girls, huh? They're good girls.
- Jessy: They're zombies.
- Madame Blavatski: No. They're strippers.
- Berengé: [cocking shotgun] They're zombie strippers!
- Madame Blavatski: Girls, we talk. Hmm? In the old country, I strip for my bread and borscht. And vodka.
- Jeannie: [Newly turned zombie, challenging zombie Kat] Warriors come out to play! Warriors come out to play!
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