Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: So, Lieutenant. How was the ambush class?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Well, uh. You know, sir. One ambush class is about the same as the next.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Is that so? It might interest you to know that I stopped by the ambush class this afternoon. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the my Lieutenant had shrunk several inches, become a non-commissioned officer, and changed his race.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: You stopped by?
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Lieutenant, why was Sargeant James teaching that class...
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Why did you have to stop by?
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: ...instead of the Marine I had assigned to teach that class?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Of all days to stop by...
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: [McGillis interrupts] Lieutenant, I can stop by anytime I want! What's going on?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: [Holowachuk answers scared] Well, sir, I'm not at liberty to say.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Holowachuk. You are one of my most reliable officers. I know you wouldn't disregard your duties unless you had a very good reason.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Thank you, sir.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Well? What is it?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: I'm not at liberty to say.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: [McGillis puts his hand on Holowachuk's right shoulder and makes him nervous] Son, are you in some kind of trouble? Gambling, liquor, a woman?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Boy, wouldn't that be nice?
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: All right then. What is it?
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Believe me, sir. If I were at liberty, I would say. But I'm not.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Very well, Lieutenant. You leave me no other choice. You will replace Lieutenant Williams as Officer of the Day. Report here at 1900.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Tonight, sir?
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: If you can make it.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Does it have to be tonight?
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Affirmative! Lieutenant Williams asked to be relieved of his duties. Some party, or something, he wants to go to.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Very well, sir.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Lieutenant. I don't know what brought on this abhorrent behavior of yours but, while you sit here alone tonight, maybe you can decide whether it was worth it or not.
Lt. Eugene 'Gene' Holowachuk: Damn.
[Holowachuk slams his hand on McGillis' birthday cupcake]
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: [McGillis stands beside a nervous Holowachuk] Lieutenant, you've crushed my cupcake.
