Wedding Crashers (2005)

Bradley Cooper: Sack Lodge

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeremy Grey : Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's got to be an interesting combination.

  Sack Lodge : I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that?

  Jeremy Grey : Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on, or just your general point of view towards everybody. But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched.

• Claire Cleary : [to Sack]  I can't marry you.

  Sack Lodge : Secretary. Your daughter's a little...

  Secretary Cleary : Sack, I've always liked you. So I put up with your stories about scallops and otters, and it's all good because you seem to make her happy and that's what matters to me most. But this is *her* decision.

  [he makes a mock salute to her] 

  Secretary Cleary : I stand by my daughter.

  Sack Lodge : [waving him off]  You don't know shit.

• Sack Lodge : Claire, you get your fucking ass on that altar right now!

  John Beckwith : Wow, we're getting a great preview of what marriage is gonna be like with Ike Turner over here.

• Sack Lodge : What's this, uh, company called?

  Jeremy Grey : [Screaming because Gloria is secretly masturbating him to the end; climaxing]  HOLY SHI...

  John Beckwith : [Thinking fast]  Shirts and Pants! Holy Shirts and Pants. It's a little corny and obvious, but what do you get out of being subtle, right?

• [Claire enters the bathroom and finds Sack vomiting in the toilet] 

  Claire Cleary : Are you okay?

  Sack Lodge : Well, Claire. My head's buried in a toilet. What do you think? You do the math.

  Claire Cleary : Honey, it's ok to be vulnerable sometimes, it's just me.

  Sack Lodge : You know, you can just cut that psycho babble bullshit your mom tells you ok? You wanna help me out? Do ya? Do ya kid? Why don't you go get me a 7Up, ok? All right, 'cause I think I might get vulnerable again.

• Claire Cleary : So is it just about the money?

  John Beckwith : No no, it's about, uh, investing in companies that are ethically and morally defensible.

  Sack Lodge : Well, like what? Give me an example.

  John Beckwith : Like what? Well, there's the company that we have where we're taking the, the fur or the wool from sheep and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew. And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew, then um... make little shirts and pants for other homeless people to sell. It's a pretty good deal.

  Jeremy Grey : [fumbling his words because Gloria is giving him a hand job under the dinner table]  People - People helping people.

  Claire Cleary : That's - that's very admirable.

  John Beckwith : Thank you. Although, don't make me out to be a saint just yet. We do turn a small profit. After all, someone has to pay for the, uh,

  [motions to Jeremy] 

  John Beckwith : Lap dancers for the big guy here.

  Jeremy Grey : [laughing pleasurably]  Oh, ha ha ha, he's joking around. It feels so good when he jokes.

• John Beckwith : Whoa, hold it, Sack!

  [Sack punches John] 

  Trap : OK, Sackmaster, one more. We should get back to the bar.

  Sack Lodge : You get near my fiancée again, I kill you.

  John Beckwith : Let me say one thing.

  Sack Lodge : [to Trap]  Did you check out the rack on that bartender?

  Trap : Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you.

  Sack Lodge : Oh my God, yes, she will, you're right!

• [the men are hunting quails in the forest; Secretary Cleary blows his quail whistle] 

  Sack Lodge : There's something not right about these guys.

  Flip : What do you mean?

  Sack Lodge : I mean, it's time to send them home.

  Flip : Sack, don't do anything crazy.

  Sack Lodge : Just relax. I'm just gonna scare them a little bit.

  Flip : All right.

  [Sack cocks his rifle and aims it at Jeremy] 

  Sack Lodge : [Yells]  TO THE RIGHT!

  [Everyone aims and shoots; John and Jeremy screams; John falls to the ground, pulls the trigger, and then shoots Jeremy] 

  Jeremy Grey : [Screaming]  Aaaahhh! They got me!

  Sack Lodge : [laughs]  Oh, shit!

  Jeremy Grey : THEY GOT ME!

  John Beckwith : Oh, shit.

• Sack Lodge : Why don't you tell her, John?

  John Beckwith : I don't know what goin' on.

  Sack Lodge : [whispers]  You don't know?

  John Beckwith : I'm playing Catch-up too.

  [Sack punches John in the chest] 

  Claire Cleary : [yells]  Sack! What are you doing?

  Sack Lodge : You remembering yet? You remember yet?

  Claire Cleary : [to John]  Are you okay? Sack!

  Sack Lodge : They're not who they say they are, Claire. Those aren't even their real names.

  Claire Cleary : What?

  Sack Lodge : No, everything they told you was a lie.

  Claire Cleary : [confused]  I-I don't understand what your saying.

  Sack Lodge : Claire, they crash weddings. They crash weddings so that they can sleep with girls. Everything that they told us has been a complete fabrication!

  Claire Cleary : You're joking.

  Sack Lodge : All of it was a - Don't you fuckin' get up!

  Claire Cleary : Sack, will you just stop?

  Sack Lodge : [backs away]  Okay. Okay.

• Sack Lodge : Are you not getting enough attention?