Super Troopers (2001)

Marisa Coughlan: Ursula

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ursula : [talking into voice filter]  Freeze motherfucker.

  Foster : Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.

  Ursula : Drop your coat and grab your toes.

  Foster : What?

  Ursula : I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.

  Foster : Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.

  Ursula : Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.

  [Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"] 

  Ursula : [still talking into the voice filter]  You don't have these at your station?

  Foster : [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it]  I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?

  Ursula : I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.

• Ursula : You're not going to tell anybody about this?

  Foster : I already told my mom.

• Officer Smy : Ursula, what the fuck? There's no TP in the bathroom!

  Ursula : What about the piece stuck to your shoe?

  Officer Smy : What ABOUT the piece stuck to my shoe?

  [Looks down] 

  Officer Smy : SHIT!

  Ursula : [Stifles a laugh] 

  Officer Smy : You know, you might get ahead around here if you made the extra effort.

  Ursula : Oh why... did you want me to wipe your ass?

  Officer Smy : [Flustered]  That's not what I meant!

  [With a pompous gesture] 

  Officer Smy : Well around MY house, my wife knows to refill the TP.

  Ursula : I'm not your wife, Smy.

  Officer Smy : No, and if you were, I'd take you down a peg or two.

  Ursula : Oooooooh.

• Thorny : I'll give you the fat guy for Foster. And uh, how about that stupid guy for Rabbit.

  Ursula : Well, you're going to have to be more specific, they're both kind of fat and stupid.

• Foster : We could be like Cagney and Lacey.

  Ursula : Right. Except Cagney and Lacey were both women.

  [beat] 

  Foster : I could be Lacey.

• Foster : [Drunk]  Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on?

  Ursula : Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.

• Officer Smy : [to Ursula]  If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.

  [to Foster] 

  Officer Smy : Hey douche bag.

  Foster : [to Ursula]  If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.

  Ursula : Nice try.