Blast from the Past (1999)

Alicia Silverstone: Eve

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eve : Now hold on, hold on just a minute! In the first place I do not fall in love with weirdos who I've only known for four or five days!

  Troy : Yes you do.

  Eve : And I don't fall in love with grown men who collect baseball cards!

  Troy : Yes you do.

  Eve : Or pee in their pants when they see the ocean!

  Troy : Yes you do.

  Eve : Or have perfect table manners!

  Troy : You know, I asked him about that. He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn't know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?

  Eve : What?

  Troy : He thinks I'm a gentleman and you're a lady.

  Eve : [disgusted]  Well, consider the source! I don't even know what a lady is.

  Troy : I know, I mean I thought a "gentleman" was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible.

  Eve : Where do you think he got all that information?

  Troy : From the oddest place - his parents. I mean, I don't think I got that memo from mine.

• [Adam has bought rollerblades] 

  Adam : Eve, can I skate around your block?

  Troy : [suggestively]  How about it, Eve - can he *skate* around your block?

  Eve : No.

  Troy : Just a few laps.

  Adam : It won't take long.

  Eve : No.

• Eve : What kind of wife are you looking for?

  Adam : Oh um, well... one who's not a mutant.

  Eve : [laughs]  No dogs, huh. OK. Cool.

  Adam : And if it's possible, I'd like to marry someone from Pasadena.

  Eve : [laughs]  Um, when do you need her by?

  Adam : Two weeks?

  Eve : Well, I can probably get you laid in two weeks, but to locate a non-mutant wife from Pasadena takes some time.

  Adam : That's what I was afraid of.

• Eve : Here ya go, one champagne cocktail.

  Adam : Oh, thank you.

  Eve : I thought only hookers drank those things?

  Adam : Well, I know Mom sure likes 'em.

• Troy : Eve, a man walks into your life, who's the kindest, most polite, most incredibly rich guy you've ever met...

  Eve : And I have him committed.

  Troy : Yes. Yes you did.

  Eve : Well, at least I fell for him before I knew he was rich. That's new.

• Eve : What have you been doing?

  Adam : Watching television... in color.

• Eve : Whenever Adam gives me, such obviously incorrect information. I just smile, slap him on the knee and look out the window. Why spoil his dreams? They're such wonderful dreams.

• Eve : So for four thousand dollars, all I have to do is drive you to your hotel?

  Adam : Uh-huh!

  Eve : That's it?

  Adam : Yes.

  Eve : And I don't have to take a physical in your spaceship?

• [Adam, Eve and Troy are at the club, looking for a girlfriend for Adam. Adam spots a lovely young woman] 

  Adam : How about her?

  Eve : No way.

  Adam : No way? Why not? I, I think she's very attractive.

  Eve : Adam! She's got 'bitch' written all over her. You do know what 'bitch' means, don't you?

  Adam : [nodding]  Well, well, yes, I do. I do have a dictionary. But I can't understand for the life of me why you would say that about her. Or why Cliff would say that about *you*!

  [Troy stifles a laugh; Eve glares at him and then at Adam] 

• Eve : Where are you parked?

  Adam : I came on a bus.

  Eve : Why does that not surprise me.

  Adam : I dunno. Why doesn't that sunrise you?

  Eve : Well, I guess because I'm a little psychic. I have this thing.

  Adam : Oh, that's nice.

  Eve : Yeah, let me guess something. This is your first visit to La-La-Land. You're staying somewhere in Hollywood because like an idiot you thought that would be an exciting place to stay. Am I right so far?

  Adam : So far?

  Eve : Yes, I'm right?

  Adam : Right.

  Eve : I knew it. So anyhow, you get on a bus and before you know it you're stuck in the San Fernando Valley without a clue, which brings us to here. Correct again?

  Adam : Again.

  Eve : Where are you staying? The Holiday Inn.

  Adam : Oh. Yes! Yes! The Holiday Inn. That's exactly right.

  Eve : See, I'm psychic. I mean not completely but pretty much. Pretty good, huh?

  Adam : No, that was amazing!

  Eve : Yeah I know. Thanks.

• Eve : Oh, you coward.

  Troy : Gentleman coward.

• Eve : [to Adam, about Troy]  He's gay, by the way.

  Adam : [thinking she means that Troy is happy]  Well, good for you!

• Eve : Have you ever had sex before?

  Adam : No.

  Eve : How is that possible?

• Adam : What do mean you can get me laid?

  Eve : Uh, can we talk about that a little later?

  Adam : Of course.

  Eve : Great.

• Eve : I'm sick of working for that dickhead.

  Adam : What?

  Eve : You know, a walking penis capable of intelligent speech. A dickhead!

• Eve : And now I suppose he's trying to make those two dancers feel as comfortable as possible.

  Troy : No. He didn't go home with them.

  Eve : [Eve gives a happy look to Troy]  ... Well.

  Troy : He went home with Sophie.

  Eve : [screams really loudly]  No!

  Troy : Yep.

  Eve : No!

  Troy : She swept him out of the room, whispering little sweet French nothings into his ear.

• Eve : [Trying to get rid of Troy]  You! Go to the bathroom!

  Troy : What, right *here*?

  [pause while Eve stares at him] 

  Troy : Well I thought I should check, you're being so bossy!

• Troy : Can I ask you some questions?

  [Adam nods] 

  Troy : When did Alaska become a state?

  Adam : 1959.

  Troy : Okay, and who owned it before we did?

  Adam : Russia.

  Troy : And when did we get it from them?

  Adam : 1867. Seward's Folly. We purchased it for $7.2 million. Tidy sum then as well as now. I'm quoting my father, of course.

  Troy : Alright, what's the state capital?

  Adam : Juneau.

  Troy : Hello? It's Anchorage! Gotcha!

  Adam : Mm-mm, sorry. That's the largest city.

  [Troy leaves the room] 

  Adam : Where's he going?

  Eve : He's going to check your answers on his computer.

  Adam : He has a computer?

  Eve : Sure.

  Adam : In the house?

  Eve : No, actually, it's in the back yard. Of course it's in the house. It's in there.

• Eve : Rule number one in North America: no strangers in the car.

  Adam : Well if it will make you feel any better, I don't have a gun.

  Eve : Oh, well that changes everything.

• Eve : It's truly amazing what you can get done when you have unlimited funds.

  Eve : Do you know you can get whole house built in a matter of months?

  Eve : All you have to say is this, "I don't care what it costs" and of course you have to really mean it, which no one ever does.