User reviews

First off, this is a kids movie so certain allowances should be made for its rubbishness. But I expect that the majority of 7 year olds would find High Noon an unrewarding and painful experience.

The film concerns a group of extremely unscary baddies who decide that world domination can be best achieved by hijacking an amusement park. Two things prevent the villains from carrying out their evil plan. Firstly, the bad guys find themselves easily defeated at every turn by three children and Hulk Hogan. Secondly, those aforementioned bad guys are morons.

The three children are, of course, the 3 Ninjas. They defeat fully grown men in martial art combat at every turn. Particularly remarkable, since one of the kids appears to be about four years old. Of especial note is the second youngest as he sports a haircut that is so abysmally misguided it makes Billy Ray Cyrus's mullet look tasteful. It is a bowl-cut/pony-tail combo; two haircuts from hell all on one head - it is truly horrendous and should really not be seen by younger viewers.

An interesting aspect of the movie is that despite the fact that the fairground has been hijacked, no one seems to have informed the extras. They carry on enjoying the rides as if nothing has happened. As I said earlier, the bad guys are essentially idiots, so its just possible that they have not got their heads round the technicalities of hijacking. But, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter as the film is not exactly convincing in a general sense.

Do I recommend it? Not really but it is an ideal birthday present for a child you dislike.

There two types of bad film.... a)a film so bad you turn it off immediately or b)bad films starring hulk hogan that you have to watch to amuse yourself. Hulk plays Dave Dragon, some old guy who is not very hard and not very funny - and basically the bottom line of the film is some female terrorist tries to take over a theme park. They fail, thanks to some geeky kids who apparently know martial arts. The most annoying thing though is how easily grown adults get beaten up by pesky little kids. This film is so bad, but, fair play, I watched most of it so it achieved something in that sense. Enjoyable if you like ripping it out of bad actors and rubbish plots.

Old sea maps used to leave a warning on the outer edges of the charts. It would read: "Here be monsters." I wish such a message had been written before the opening credits. Oh, actually it was, but it was in code that I deciphered too late to save myself. It was the part which read: "3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain." WOE! WOE UNTO ME!!!!

I'm a man with, admittedly, unusual and quirky tastes when it comes to film and film actors/actresses. I like a lot of character actors because they tend to get the most interesting variety of parts. I really loved Victor Wong's career. Memories of his performances in films like 'Tremors,' 'Prince of Darkness,' and especially 'Big Trouble in Little China' (with another favourite of mine, Al Leong -- the Wing Kong Hatchet Man!!! *LOL*) have put me on a quest to see as much of his work as possible.

A quest that died Saturday afternoon just past.

This deeply regrettable, dreckish, foul excuse of a film and the knowledge that Victor Wong appeared in three other incarnations of it is enough to sour even the strongest movie-goers stomach. Victor's appearance in this awful thing is mercifully concentrated in the opening of the film. It gives him no chance to show off any of his inimitable charm and Victor Wong looks like a tired old man weighed down by the two hardest words that any actor will ever have to listen to: Contractual obligation.

Music: insipid. Direction: insipid. Plot: insipid. Dialogue: insipid. Acting: hit and miss.

The kids all deserved better than to be stuck in this film. For fear that they will track me down and beat the heck out of me with their ninja skills, just let me say that they all gave academy award worthy performances. Exhibit A: the two younger brothers manage to keep a straight face and wait -- holding their fight stance -- for thirty seconds as the three bad guy adults struggle to get out of their costumes and dress up again so that the kids can yell "NINJAS!!!" I don't blame the kids for this despite the fact that they were as unwatchable as everything else here. This film will bore parents to death so unless you want orphans, avoid, avoid, AVOID!!!

Victor Wong (let me return to a bright light for a moment) died after this film. Jim Varney, who also appeared in this film, has also since died. You may draw your own conclusions.

Varney, in all fairness, is probably the best thing in this film. His performance takes him in a scene-stealing direction with a bad guy turn. Out-acting Loni Anderson, Hulk Hogan and all three ninjas, he easily comes across as a bully who is picking an acting fight with unarmed opponents ... I said I wasn't going to blame the kids... this wasn't their fault, this wasn't their fault ...

Final Verdict: (un)watchable... BEARABLE only for those who are die-hard Wong or Varney fans. Also bearable if one chants over and over again the words: "this too shall pass." All others should give a miss with extreme prejudice.

1992's "3 Ninjas" was a really cool movie, back in 2nd grade! I felt that it would of been best to leave it alone. But, like all money hungry executives do, they have to go and make 3 lame sequels that overexpose what made the first one successful: fighting. And I don't know what the hell the filmakers were doing while shooting these movies and casting the stars? I guess they filmed the third one right after the first and intended for that to be the second one, since the kids in it are the same as the kids in the first! (still with me?)

But overall, this is the worst of the four. Was it supposed to be a prequel or something, 'cause all three kids look about 5 years younger than in the previous movies. And even if it was a prequel, the filmakers obviously didn't realize the kids don't get their names until later. Please don't rent this movie to enjoy it with your kids or yourself. Rent it to make fun of it with a friend or sibling, but beware, it might bore you or cheese you to death before you finish it!!

Note: A black belt doesn't screech out a high-pitched "HI-YA" when doing something like throwing an egg at a bad guy or cutting a rope that releases an anvil or something of that sort that black-belts don't do.

the only reason i rented this garbage excuse for a movie is because i am a big fan of the original 3 ninjas movie. when the original came out i was a little kid and it was great. after seeing 3 ninjas kick back and 3 ninjas knuckle up i wasn't expecting 3 ninjas high noon to be that good, since the 2 preceding ones weren't' that great. so finally, 8 years after the release i rent 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain....where shall i begin.

-3 new actors playing the boys, if u can even consider them actors -rocky is "too cool" to be a ninja -colt has a lisp and a pony tail -tum-tum looks like he retrograded back in time and is now 5

-when tum-tum screams hi-ya it sounds like a little girl

-hulk holgan is in this movie -terriorts take over AN AMUSMANT PARK! -worst acting i've ever seen...ninjas, hulk holgan, terriorts included -dummest plot line

this movie killed the 3 ninjas for me. i don't' think i can ever watch the original again and enjoy it. every time i see rocky i will think of a stuck up asshole; colt, i will think of his "new look", and tum-tum i will think of a 5 year old cry baby.

god

This was horrible. I remember that the original movie was mildly amusing, but this stinker left me disgusted. This is one movie where I was actually wanting the villains to win, because of the annyoing, constipated sounding screeching noises that "Tum-Tum" was making for karate yells and what not. I actually laughed when Loni Anderson said "Rest in pieces". The first two movies were cute, the third was...blech, but when a movie stars Hulk Hogan.... slow up on that, you've already lost all the money that you put into this flop; and then some.

My therapist won't like me talking about it but I've got a bottle of calm-down pills nearby in case this review brings up too many memories for me ad causes...a relapse.

This film is dreadful. There aren't enough words to describe how buttock clenchingly bad this film is. It made me want to yell at those responsible about how they were causing physical pain to people with this movie. I was 12 when I first watched this and I thought it was awful then as well. I defy any child to be content with this dross, and if any adult enjoys it I'm sorry but the men in white coats are coming with the special jacket.

The plot is nonsense, the dialogue stomach churning and the acting worse than anything seen in a Friday the 13th movie. Avoid if you like your eyeballs and don't want to spoon them out.

Now if you'll excuse me I'll just take my tablets and go to bed before they come and take me away again...

Hey amigos, your good friend Disco Bob here with a few comments on 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Man, they should've stopped the 3 Ninja series a long time ago. The first was a very fun spin on the Karate Kid series, the second fit right along with the first and was a good sequel, but this one? Horrid. Also, they got Hulk Hogan in it which drops the ratings of any movie. What were they honestly thinking with him and that washed up hag Loni Anderon. Oy vey. I feel vaklempt just thinking about this flick.

Honestly. Do yourself a favor and don't watch this crap. It is not even good enough to be a lame kids movie. In fact, the makers of this film should be sentenced to a life term in prison for exposing the world to such garbage.

Seriously, there are a lot of cut corners here, and the story is worse than that of a cheap porn flick. Anyone who payed to see this movie in a theater was robbed. It still amazes me that this could have been printed, honestly, the movie is just one stupid gag after another, one's we have already seen and are tired of. On a scale of 1 to 10, I wouldn't give it a score at all, it is not good enough.

This movie was a real treat. I say "treat" in the sense that it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, hence I love it. The plot is ridiculous & other posters have done a good job at pointing out the shortcomings so I'll keep this brief. As someone alluded to previously & after a secondary viewing last night re-enforced, it is quite comical how the "terrorists" go through extreme measures to get into the park (ie; having a ship offshore, jet skis, scuba diving, underwater lasers etc,) when they could just pay the nominal fee to gain access to the park! That was great. Hulk Hogan as always, is a crowd pleaser. I like at the end when he knocks off the tops of the underwater breathing apparatuses with a single blow & they masquerade as oxygen diffusing projectiles! Jim Varney obviously was funny in his role as the antagonist, no doubt ashamed to be cast in such a lousy movie. And the three "ninjas"? Don't even get me started. So cheesy with the Ayais! over & over. Terrible actors, but it all adds to the ambiance of a wonderful film, albeit low budget & misconstrued, unintentional comedy. Would highly recommend, & it goes without saying that a solid buzz while embarking on such a journey will no doubt add to the enjoyment derived from this little gem. Cheers!

The thing that most people have to realize when watching a movie such as this one is its not made to be reviewed by people over, lets say 10. But seeing as how most under the age of ten have the attention span of a wet rock, I'll do it for them.

I recently showed this movie to my kids, all of which are under the age of ten. And they loved it. I on the other hand walked out of the room. My kids were so entralled that two of them have now taken up karate lessons.

that means Its served its purpose... they stayed still for 2 hours and I got to get some work done.

I think worst movie ever is being too kind. If I had the option of watching this again or ramming nails through my head, I would choose the latter and I hope all of you do as well. This has got to be the dumbest idea I have ever heard of. And Hulk Hogan? Wow, he is just absolutely pathetic. Stick to wrestling - that's something you suck at slightly less than acting.

...and that was the atrocious lesbian subtext between the little girl and Loni Anderson! Some of the lines from the lady in leather were so morally wrong they were superb! That said, the rest of the film was poor, with the three kids not even comprehending the basic rules of the ninja (as in STAYING UNSEEN AND SILENT!). The fight scenes were static and bland. If you want a good ninja film for the kids, rent Surf Ninjas. Also, even thinking about Colt's haircut still makes me cringe a week after I saw the film...

This movie was the worst I've ever seen. I hope they don't keep it in the video stores, because kids don't need to see all that bad acting. Even Hogan was stupid! The kids do okay with the martial arts, but you can so tell that they hardly ever connected the blows. The least they could have done was make it look real!

Here are ten reasons 2 watch this movie 1) You have done EVERYTHING in life so u are basically jobless.

2) You are an IMMESNSE fan of Hulk Hogan from his earliest days of wrestling n before u die u have 2 see whatever movie he's been in.

3) You want 2 know what is the meaning of 'gay'.

4) You always wanted see what a movie would look like if it was made by a 2 year old.

5) You have permanent brain damage n can swallow even the most disgusting piece of crap put in front of you.

6) You want 2 be a director and after watching this movie you have hope that if this piece of crap makes it , U have a better chance.

7) You hate yourself ( warning :After watching you'll hate urself more)

8) You love 2 point n curse at the TV

9) If you have the habit of crying at something funny n laughing at something serious.

10) If you're on he brink of suicide watching this movie will speed it up.

A colossal mess. Badly acted, poorly written, sorely misdirected. The "3 Ninjas" series never needed a sequel, much less the uncountable number it has spawned.

The infamous 3 Ninjas go to a theme park in this sequel and use Hulk Hogan to fight off a bunch of terrorists (?). Miserable, putrid stuff. The acting is in league with "Pod People" (1983).

Do NOT watch this movie! I feel stupiderererer already.

0/5 stars.

• John Ulmer

I swear at the beginning with the parents, I felt like they were just smiling too much and it looked like they were just going to say cliché' things like "Oh, you kids!" or "That's coming out of your allowance" while smiling at the camera on cue.

Now, granted, this is a movie for kids, but I think we are starting to insult our kids just a little bit. I mean, we do actually have a decent cast for a kid's flick, but these adults really sunk beyond the kid's humor. While it has some good morals and another happy ending, just the jokes got old and I think we are just insulting our kid's intelligence and humor.

1/10

PS: Loni, lay off the fake tan!

Let me just say that a nice introduction is not needed in this piece of leftover meatloaf that needed to be produced by a Fishcer Price karate team.

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain had a plan in it's motive to be produced. It wanted to show compassion. It wanted to show teamwork, brotherly love and it wanted to show Hulk Hogan's acting abilities. It all failed in that.

Three brothers who happened to be in an amusement park will save the day because the amusement park is taken over by terrorists! There are also subplots of Hulk Hogan's character being a has-been (so is he) and the eldest ninja who'll get the heart of this ten-year-old girl. Lame! Colt is played by this kid who will become the future Canadian band Moffats-parody lead singer. Tum-tum is a little Hilary Swank stuck in a Baby Gap model's body. Rocky is this over-the-top, meant to be "cool" punk who can't kiss at fourteen.

The supporting kids are just as weird. The computer girl had not a cinch of fear since there was a four-minute bomb inches away from her face. The "roller coaster-Come save me!" girl was the miscast of the entire debacle. Can she even stand still? Why is it such a good idea for terrorists to take over an amusement park? Why cast a has-been wrestler who can't even say his name right? Why are Jamaican men such good computer junkies? Why cast a toddler (who yelps like a strangling cat) into saying those damn "Ay-Ya's" over two dozen times?

I liked these ninja movies. The first ones? Great. I was like three when that came to video. But this? This is the limit of underdeveloped. It looked like it was directed by a damn pro-kids pedophile! I would just say that the hype, the story, the climax and the stupendous fight scenes (where the kids close their little eye-dy widey's to kick the bad goons) take the cake as making this pure garbage.

Don't waste your time, I did.

This movie has to be one of the 10 stupidest movies ever. It was boring even to a 7-year old watching the movie with me. This movie seemed to go on for ever. It's as bad as watching Barney or Tele-tubbies. I do not recommend this movie to anyone.

Every once in a while a film comes along that makes you glad to be alive. Cinema is a beautiful art form, and no cinema is more gorgeous than 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain. Epic on a grand scale, the cinematic majesty on display would make Kurosawa's corpse reanimate just so it could kill itself in shame at never meeting the grandeur of vision presented herein. I saw this movie and broke down in tears, as I knew my eyes had witnessed the most beautiful sight since Stallone and Carl Weathers flirting with each other on the beach in one of the Rocky films. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll curse yourself for thinking that the greatness of the previous 3 Ninjas movies could ever be topped.

Bravo. Bravo.

The only reason I bought this DVD is because I'm such a fan of Varney's. I wouldn't have known about this movie much less get it if he wasn't in it. While lots of people rag on Hulk Hogan, he wasn't the worst actor. By far, the most wooden performance goes to Loni Anderson. If this is a family oriented movie, why in the world did they have her dress in that skanky leather outfit that was far too short? Terrible casting as far as Loni goes. She was supposed to be the evil Medusa but I didn't buy it. She just didn't have the quality of pulling off the 'bad guy' type of role. She was much better on 'WKRP in Cinncinati'. I got a little tired of Tum Tum's 'Ay-yahs' after a while. They were too high pitched and over done. All 6 stars go to Jim Varney. I was actually rooting for Lothar to become successful in his mission for he was the only one of the bad guys with the brilliance to pull off the heist. He easily outshone all the stars, as usual. He always gives 100% to whatever role he played as you can see here. Jim and Victor were the two best actors in this movie. Maybe if Jim had cast and directed this, it would've been a bigger box office success. The man was a brilliant actor and a genius. If you're a fan of Varney's, then yes, get the movie just to watch him. Otherwise, don't bother.