The Final Alliance

There are movies you love because of how good you think they are, and there are movies SOME people love because of how bad they are. I have to put my two cents in here for this film being so bad it's good. Trust me, it's HORRIBLE. But on certain levels, like on an Ed Wood level, it's great. The plot is half baked and the acting plummets below the level of EVERYONE in Star Wars Phantom Menace. If you happen to be one of those people who doesn't understand why Hasselhoff gets raked over most of his work, then it is very likely you will love this movie. Not to be missed is John Saxon's performance as an albino gang leader. If the producers of this film didn't have their tongues in their cheeks while this film was produced then I say they are masters of schlock. Otherwise, "Final Alliance" rates among the top adolescent wish-fulfillment wet dream films of all time. Hasselhoff and his pet puma- that says it all.

Terrible acting from all the supporting actors Including Hasselhoff. The 2 bad guys and also the real stars were ok. B movie.

Now you might hate me for my 5 rating, but that is all I can conceivably give this movie. It's bad, really bad. But the big question is if it is enjoyable. I give the enjoyment factor a resounding yes!

Damn, where to begin? Pointless explosions, poorly choreographed fights, weird ADR all throughout the film and some truly hammy acting. The horse and the puma were better actors than some of their human counterparts. You heard that right...a puma. I loved this part because David Hasselhoff had conversations with "Felix" akin to the ones I have with my dogs. So kudos to reeling me in with that detail.

The story is typical straight to video fare of the era. Ex-marine/mercenary comes home to clean up a town overrun by a generic redneck biker gang led by a sheriff who cackles way too maniacally and his second in command albino. You heard that right. John Saxon plays an albino with some questionable style choices. I mean the white boots he wears are ridiculous!! Plus he rides in a side car rather than a motorcycle. A SIDECAR!!

This thing plays out rather predictably, and there are so many action movie tropes that show up that I will leave it to you to find this movie. I mean it has boobie traps AND an armored vehicle. Watch this movie if you can. I think the real debate will be whether this movie or Stone Cold is the true violent B-movie supreme of the early 90s.

The back of the box did not lie- "an adventure that mixes justice with revenge for explosive results" -BOOM! I just watched this hidden gem of a movie. Hasselhoff stars as Will Colton, an ex-marine who returns to his hometown in Texas. A gang of weapons dealing biker creeps killed Hasselhoff's family years back and he is back for revenge. He gets help from a local lady who has also been terrorized by these thugs. The gang includes the police chief, played by Bo Hopkins, which gives the movie some redneck credibility to the rural Texas setting. Actually, I would guess that this film is Italian or South African. The dubbing involved is of the 80's Italian style. Also it stars John Saxon, who is in a lot of the Italian action movies of this time. Also, it has an Italian director. One thing is for sure, it was not made in Texas. But anyways, this movie has some very good action sequences, a good cast, and an unintentionally hilarious script. Hasselhoff has some great conversations with his pet cougar that are awesomely cheesy. And John Saxon as the leader of the pack seems kind of embarrassed to be wearing such a lame looking wig, but he puts together a menacing portrayal of creepiness.

There is a some good motorcycle violence, a cougar, a short love scene featuring Jeannie Moore, a load of European synthesizers futile mimicking honkytonk boogie music, and an Albino Motorcycle . If you happen upon this thing, give it a try. This is a lost classic.

In big, bold white text; David Hasselhoff in... Not without my puma, and call him Felix. Comedic hilarity ensured. Almost in the same league as Chuck Norris and his scene stealing armadillo. Felix definitely deserved that second billing. Also starring John Saxon, like you have never seen him before, a menacingly uptight albino head honcho biker(!?). Those black shades he wears didn't make it look any less conspicuous. If he didn't open his mouth, you wouldn't know.. Glad he does though, as he gets some choice dialogues. And rounding it off is the all talking Bo Hopkins mugging every scene with his bombastic yelling, and bellowing laughter. When the latter two came together (henchman & boss), it always felt like there was some sort in-joke that they only knew about, because it was just so much fun whenever they shared the screen.

"THE FINAL ALLIANCE" (and how does this title tie in to what I'm seeing?) is a cheapjack, straight-to-video action vehicle for a stoic Hasselhoff to show off his styled stubble, leather jacket, close fitting jeans, wicked cowboy hat and to obviously let loose. Well, it doesn't entirely stretch the imagination, as the theme of the plot (an unknown stranger makes himself at home in a small corrupt country town to clean up , but there's also another ulterior motive driving him), has been milked over and over again, but it's absurdly trashy and harebrained (like Hasselhoff and Moore getting their priorities mixed up, as they reinforce their love for each other at the very wrong time) to make this trite entertaining enough that you simply chew up everything about it.

While violent at times (head trauma), for most part its light-weight (due to the humor making light of many situations and the biker cronies even with their nunchucks and chains came off more so bumbling, than threatening), yet there are some boisterous action set-pieces (road chases, booby trapped homestead, assault on an airport hanger) and harmful stunt-work (fire and shotgun don't mix). Mario DiLeo's homespun direction never lets hit a bump either, by keeping it simple-minded and moving at a fast clip. But slow-motion was sorely under-used, only one sequence, still it's a powerful moment due to the circumstance surrounding it. Surely it would bring a tear to your eye.