Conan the Destroyer

Boy, did this one take a wrong turn at Albuquerque! Although it's still pretty entertaining, it's played far too much for laughs.

Ahnuld is back, and this time he gets more dialogue, a big mistake. He sounds more than a little ridiculous with a large part of his dialogue. Instead of Gerry Lopez, we have Tracy Walter, a fine actor, but too comedic for this (yeah, he's the comic relief, but Conan shouldn't have comic relief). Mako is good and Sarah Douglas sizzles as always. Grace Jones, well, is Grace Jones. If you are looking for subtlety, look elsewhere. And, speaking of subtlety, there's "Wilt, the Stilt." As an actor, Wilt makes a great basketball player. Olivia D'Abo is cute, but little else.

The movie has its moments and the finale is pretty good, but there's a lot of junk in the middle. The fight between Conan and Toth-Amon (Pat "Bomber" Roach) is fantastic, but the campfire scenes after are just plain stupid. Tracy Walter's character gets annoying with the constant Shaggy and Scooby jokes (you know, "I'll wait here. Wait for me!"). The basic story is good and in keeping with Conan traditions, but it descends into camp at the worst times.

Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway were quite familiar with Conan, having written the character for Marvel Comics. How much of their story is in the final film is a puzzler. The elements that work are straight out of Howard and Roy Thomas' comics. The goofier stuff, who knows?

The first film was epic adventure. This is more of a glorified B-movie. It's fun when you have a group of friends together and can "MST3K" it; but as cinema, it's not 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Director Richard Fleischer has done better. Still, it's a great "guilty pleasure" film.