- Mike Ross: We're gonna be running as soon as I open up that hatch.
- Klaus Nemnez: I've been running all my life!
- Crystal Skull: We have come back. Come back to the world that has always been ours. You have no place in it. You cannot defend yourselves. Our civilization does not accept intruders. We have returned to re-establish our presence. You have violated our world, and therefore you must be punished. All of you will be executed! All of you, except one...
- Bill Cook: He means me - we hit it off right away!
- Bill Cook: If you ask me, we're just heading around in circles.
- Washington: What's wrong with circles?
- Bill Cook: Well, since I don't have old Allah watching over my sweet ass, I'd feel a lot better if I knew we were heading for dry land, you know.
- Washington: Oh, your damn thoughts don't go north of your neck anyhow!
- Washington: Hell, I thought you said there was nothing to it!
- Mike Ross: Yeah, well I'm just trying to remember the nothing, all right?
- Dr. Cathy Rollins: It's terrible, Mike. It's like living something unreal.
- Mike Ross: Unfortunately, it's all very true.
- Dr. Cathy Rollins: [examining stone tablet] It's fantastic. I've never seen anything like it. Where did you find it?
- Professor Peter Saunders: Five thousand, seven hundred-and-twelve feet down. The spectograph makes it about twelve-thousand-years-old, a lot older than anything you'd ever dig up in Mazzedland! And we've gotten you here to decipher the inscriptions on that tablet!
- Dr. Cathy Rollins: What's going on here? Who are you?
- Professor Peter Saunders: Of course, I'm sorry. I'm Professor Saunders, Peter Saunders, nuclear physics. A couple of years ago, a Russian sub armed with nuclear missiles foundered right underneath this rig. We're going to float it.
- Dr. Cathy Rollins: What's this got to do with it?
- Professor Peter Saunders: [shrugs] Well, that's what we're hoping you'll tell us...
- Bill Cook: It's a good thing that island is where we want to go, because it's pulling us in like a kid pulling a kite!