Million Dollar Legs

There is room among movie aficionados to do a full study about "Ruritanian" Romances and films. Besides THE PRISONER OF ZENDA the number of films dealing with fictitious foreign states include musicals, comedies, and even straight political dramas. While all the studios put them out, Paramount certainly seemed to do more of them than the others. Look at THE LOVE PARADE, THE MERRY WIDOW, DUCK SOUP, and the present film, MILLION DOLLAR LEGS. Basically these countries have very poor populations ("Klopstokia" in MILLION DOLLAR LEGS is said to be basically made of nuts and goats; "Marshovia" in THE MERRY WIDOW, and "Freedonia" in DUCK SOUP depend on the largess of one rich woman in each country). The politics are not really democratic. "Sylvania" in THE LOVE PARADE is a monarchy, and has a particularly ruthless (if hapless) ambassador at work for it in DUCK SOUP. "Freedonia" in DUCK SOUP gives up democracy to satisfy a condition for a loan, and adopts an eccentric dictator (although a sharp one). And, although "Klopstokia" has a President, the election is based on physical strength - not on actual popular demand. Moreover W.C.Fields is as capricious in his way as Groucho Marx was in DUCK SOUP. Witness how Fields imagines a General he is dictating a letter to has insulted him, and breaks him to the rank of private.

It is a land of intrigue - for some incomprehensible reason Ben Turpin keeps turning up as a spy on the goings on of Fields and everyone else. The Vice President (Hugh Herbert - not quite so silly in this film as in others) keeps looking for ways of turning out the President either legally or by underhanded ways. When Klopstokia sends a large team of splendid athletes to the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics, Herbert hires the world's greatest vamp/spy - Mata Machree (Lyda Roberti) to demoralize and split up the team (and so discredit the President).

Fields is forced to rely on Migg Sweeney, a brush salesman (Jack Oakie) who is romancing Fields' daughter Angela (Susan Fleming) by singing the national love song, "Woof Blugle Gif" which is based on the tune of "One Hour With Your" from the Paramount film of the same name. He fortunately never gets to sing the entire song in the movie - he does play it on his ukulele. Migg manages, despite his fear for his safety from his prospective father-in-law, does do the best he can to keep the team in tack, and to try to bring it to Olympic gold.

The film is fast, as well as funny. I would give it an 8 out of 10.

First of all, bear in mind that this movie was made in 1932, not 2002. Then, do a little research into the popular media of the day, and you'll get the jokes a lot better. This is one of the funniest movies ever, and it is lightyears ahead of its time. The non-sequiturs (that means lines that don't make sense), the quick cuts, the topical humor - I just love it. What can you say about a country where all the men are named George, and all the women are named Angela? Why? Why not?? Let's take a few examples: do we all understand that it's the Fuller Brush Company that's being kidded in the first scene? Do you know about the terrorists of the day - the 'anarchists' - who were generally portrayed in black capes and hats, carrying daggers and pistols and those old fashioned bombs that look like cannon balls with fuses in them? Do you get the joke - Mata Machree? The image of the femme fatale Mata Hari, coupled with an old Irish song about Mom called "Mother Machree". Do we get that Lyda Roberti (who was Polish) is supposed to be Swedish, since Greta Garbo was the biggest star of the day? And the 'old Klopstockian Love Song' is sung to the tune of "One Hour with You," which was not only a popular film with, I believe, Maurice Chevalier, but was the theme song of the Eddie Cantor radio show, the most popular show of 1932? Movie audiences of the day would have gotten it.

Jack Oakie is perfect as the fast-talking brush salesman who saves Klopstockia. He is definitely a forerunner in style of not only Bob Hope, but of Robin Williams. Fields is hilarious, but so is everyone in this movie. Susan Fleming wasn't much of an actress, but she was beautiful. I just love Roberti, who came from a famous acting clan in Poland, and who died tragically young. She was a hoot, and could have had a memorable career. My favorite line of hers, when she does her hootchie kootchie dance to try to inspire Hugh Herbert to greater feats of strength: "I been done all I can do - in public." There are so many other quotable lines in this movie - it's the kind of movie you watch and recite along with the actors.

It helps to understand this movie to know a little something about what was 'in' in 1932, but it isn't absolutely necessary. The movie has enough funny lines and slapstick even by today's standards. It's also valuable as an example of the kind of editing we now take for granted. The kind of quick cutting and blackouts that we would see in, for example "Laugh-In," was rare in 1932. This was probably the first really screwball comedy, and it's the screwiest one of all.

MILLION DOLLAR LEGS (Paramount, 1932), directed by Edward Cline, may have a a backstage musical sounding title to it revolving around sexy-legged chorus girls, but is actually a surreal comedy with all the elements of a slapstick silent Mack Sennett comedy, minus the Keystone Kops and bathing beauties. Consisting of several silent screen comedians of the past, namely Andy Clyde and Ben Turpin (hilarious as crossed-eyed spy), the real stars are Jack Oakie and Susan Fleming, though the movie itself is remembered for the performances of second billed W.C. Fields as the President (not of the United States), and fourth billed Lyda Roberti, as the sexy spy known all over as "the woman no man can resist." MILLION DOLLAR LEGS, pertaining to Andy Clyde's character with the ability to run miles within a few minutes, is mostly an ingredient type of oddball comedy Paramount produced in the 1930s, a plot less story where nothing makes sense though laughs are plentiful right down to the silliest situations. An easy blend of farce and satire predating "Monty Python's Flying Circus" of the 1970s, set in a fictional location, Klopstokia, a locale from the creative mind of Charlie Chaplin, though written by Joseph Mankiewicz, with plot and a "Migg Tweeny" sounding name more like something from of W.C. Fields himself. Even if Fields didn't contribute in the screenplay as he did in his later works, he does retain his familiar character throughout, from some of his classic routines down to a "hearty handclasp."

Forward: "Klopstokia - A Far Away Country; 'Chief Exports - goats and nuts; Chief Imports, goats and nuts; Chief inhabitants, goats and nuts." Klopstokia, population 81,006, a mythological country somewhere on this planet where all the girls are named "Angela" and the men called "George." Enter Mr. Baldwin (George Barbier), manufacturer of Baldwin Brushes, and Migg Tweeny (Jack Oakie), his top salesman whose specialty is selling brushes that brush. On his way to the shipping dock, Migg meets and immediately falls in love with a girl named Angela (Susan Fleming), whose little brother, Willie (Dickie Moore) enjoys shooting arrows at his intended victims, believing all Americans are Indians, and father (W.C. Fields), the the president of Klopstokia. Klopstokia is bankrupt and in desperate need of $8 million. Because every citizen is athletically superhuman, with the president weight lifting ton-heavy objects and using one of his staff members as a human weight lift, Tweeney saves the day by having Klopstokians participate in the Olympics in Los Angeles. All 's well until Mata Machree (Lyda Roberti), a seductress spy, is hired by the president's trusted Secretary of State (Hugh Herbert) wanting to take control of Klopstokia, in order to keep the the Klopstokian team from winning.

Often compared with the Marx Brothers 1933 comedy-satire, DUCK SOUP (Paramount), MILLION DOLLAR LEGS doesn't have any landmark songs as "Hail to Klopstokia" in place of "Hail to Freedonia," but it does consist of tunes as "When I Get Hot" (sung by Lyda Roberti); and "One Hour With You" lifted from a 1932 Maurice Chevalier musical retitled "Wolf-Boogle-Jig" subtitled a Klopstokian love song (sung by Jack Oakie); and "Good Night." Members of the President's cabinet include Billy Gilbert (the sneezing Secretary of the Interior); Teddy Hart (Secretary of War); Irving Bacon (Secretary of the Navy); and Vernon Dent (Secretary of Agriculture). Hugh Herbert, noted for his eccentric millionaire caricatures and catch phrase, "woo-woo" during his years at Warner Brothers, interestingly plays a serious character whose specialty here is overpowering his opponents with arm wrestling. Susan Fleming, Oakie's love interest, who at times resembles Ruby Keeler, tap dancing performer of 1930s musicals for Warner Brothers, never achieved major stardom, yet is known basically as the wife of comedian Harpo Marx.

In spite that MILLION DOLLAR LEGS is a very funny 62 minute movie, it's rarely revived these days. It's reputation and popularity grew, however, through frequent television revivals in the 1970s and early 1980s. The title can often be conflicted with another MILLION DOLLAR LEGS(Paramount, 1939) movie, a college drama starring non-other than future 20th-Century-Fox star, Betty Grable, whose trademark were her "million dollar legs," but not as noteworthy as this 1932 antique.

Distributed on video cassette in 1998 as part of the WC Fields collection, MILLION DOLLAR LEGS only known contribution on cable TV was on Turner Classic Movies in June 4, 2001, as part of it's "Star of the Month" tribute to W.C. Fields. A wild and crazy comedy, MILLION DOLLAR LEGS is something that needs to be seen to be believed. Wolf Boogle Jig. (***)

W. C Fields is the hot tempered President of Klopstokia, an impoverished country where the Presidency is decided by arm wrestling matches. All Klopstokians have impossible athletic abilitites. This 1932 classic is a fun, wacked out laff riot. The writing is perfect. (Sample Fields dialog; "The Constitution forbids me to hit a man under 200 pounds." "I just had my lunch of roast goat stuffed with eel." Lyda Roberti is hysterical as Mata Macree, a Brooklyn accented femme fetale "Not too clozz boyzz, youse catch on fi-yer." 62 minutes of genius comedy.

One simply....one of the funniest movies of the 1930's. Everything's perfect in this little, silly comedy about a small country trying to get out of their financial con-dish by getting a sponsor for their people in the Summer Olympics.

The entire cast is just great from W.C. Fields down to Vernon Dent and Billy Gilbert.

One of the funniest lines: (To Mata Macree's butler:) "I want to see this woman no man can resist." (Butler:) "Madam is only resisted from 2-4 in the afternoon."

This film, along with "International House" and "If I Had A Million" is the kind of silly, clever comedy that only Paramount could've released.