Ryan Reynolds: Michael Bryce
Photos
Quotes
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Sonia Kincaid : I would make a great mother, don't you think?
Michael Bryce : Oh, my God. A child would be so lucky to have you as its host.
Sonia Kincaid : Thank you. It must be your powerful asexuality that makes you such a good listener.
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Darius Kincaid : Are you using pepper spray?
Michael Bryce : I'm on sabbatical.
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Sonia Kincaid : I need you to protect us. We're trying to have a baby.
Michael Bryce : May God have mercy on our souls.
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Russian Mobster : You're gonna tell us everything you know.
Darius Kincaid : I'm not telling you shit! Aaagh!
[Darius gets tasered by the Russian Mobster]
Michael Bryce : You can electrocute him all day, it'll only make him angrier
[the Russian Mobster moves in on Bryce with the taser]
Michael Bryce : I, on the other hand, will tell you everything.
Darius Kincaid : What? Really?
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Bobby O'Neill : They're planning a full-scale cyber attack. Do not screw this up.
Michael Bryce : Oh, we are definitely gonna screw this up.
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Michael Bryce : [to Darius and Sonia who is driving but the pair start making out] Let's not do that guys, let's just focus
[leans over the backseat and takes control of the steering-wheel]
Michael Bryce : I got it. No, it's fine. You guys just... you guys have at it. Maybe feather the brake a bit.
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Darius Kincaid : Now repeat after me, "I'm unlicensed, and I don't give a fuck."
Michael Bryce : I'm unlicensed... and that's terrible...
[Kincaid slaps Bryce]
Darius Kincaid : Again?
Michael Bryce : I'm unlicensed and I don't give a fuck.
Darius Kincaid : Louder!
Michael Bryce : I'm unlicensed and I don't give a fuck!
Darius Kincaid : Robust!
Michael Bryce : [yelling] I'M UNLICENSED AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!
Darius Kincaid : Great! Now let's go do what we do, and fuck some shit up!
Michael Bryce : Let's fuck some shit up.
[suddenly gets surrounded by Interpol agents]
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Michael Bryce : [to Sonia and Darius] Can we just acknowledge that not only are we safe, this really feels like a new beg...
[tranquilizer darts hit all three]
Michael Bryce : .
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Sonia Kincaid : I think you're obsessed with my boobs!
Michael Bryce : Your boobs? I never said anything about your boobs!
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[last lines]
Sonia Kincaid : [to Michael] My baby cucaracha, you just signed the adoption papers.
Darius Kincaid : The what?
Michael Bryce : The adoption papers.
Sonia Kincaid : You are now our son!
Darius Kincaid , Michael Bryce : WHAT THE FUCK?
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Crowley : What do you need to stop Aristotle?
Michael Bryce : We need boats. And we need guns.
Darius Kincaid : [laughs] That's my motherfucking bodyguard.
Michael Bryce : And we need them?
[points to Interpol agents]
Darius Kincaid : What?
Michael Bryce : What are your names?
Gary : Gary.
Johan : Johan.
Michael Bryce : Gary, Johan, are you ready to get your fuck on?
Darius Kincaid : What?
Michael Bryce : That came out wrong. Not together. With us. That also came out wrong. You're gonna get your fuck on in an action context.
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Michael Bryce : Are you people fucking insane?
Sonia Kincaid : Hey! Watch your mouth! I picked you up from the street, saved you from sunstroke, and now you're calling me insane?
Michael Bryce : Sunstroke? You could go to jail for leaving a dog in a hot car. And don't get me started on the psychological ramifications of what I heard you two doing.
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Michael Bryce : I've had it with you two. I'm sorry to say this, Sonia, but you are crazy!
Darius Kincaid : Hey, you can't talk to my wife that way.
Michael Bryce : Why not? She'd make a terrible mother. I wouldn't leave a Chucky doll in her care.
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Sonia Kincaid : [strutting] I'm not on sabbatical.
Michael Bryce : Where is your shirt?
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Therapist : And how often do you have this dream?
Michael Bryce : Just once...
Therapist : Oh, well that's not too...
Michael Bryce : ...a night.
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Michael Bryce : In two weeks I have to go in front of a tribunal and try to get my Triple-A rated license back.
Therapist : To deal with the future, we sometimes have to deal with the past. Quite often validation issues stem from a disapproving father.
Michael Bryce : I don't have validation issues. i have a licensing issue